New Supernanny thread for those who are watching it - Page 5 - Mothering Forums

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#121 of 228 Old 03-13-2007, 12:55 AM
 
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It seemed like the mom was shamed into the weaning, to me.

The whole thing was so sad!
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#122 of 228 Old 03-13-2007, 12:56 AM
 
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Nobody is bashing this mother! Re-read this thread.

And MDC is not about supporting all parenting "choices". There are other boards for that.

Her choice to wean? After the snide comments and psycho babble SuperNanny threw at her of course she decided it was time.
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#123 of 228 Old 03-13-2007, 01:01 AM
 
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Quote: Do each of you say the same things you're posting to those mothers faces as well?


No one here is putting the mother down. its the nanny we have an issue with
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#124 of 228 Old 03-13-2007, 01:01 AM
 
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The mother said "I have been wanting to wean, I just didn't know how to do it"

Now, Nanny Jo was NOT the person she should have taken advice from, but that's who she wanted advice from obviously, she applied for the show and had her come to her house.

No snide comments would cause me to wean or my daughter would have been weaned 10 months ago! And I'm sure it was the same for her, because in America we are unfortunately smacked in the face with the snide comments.
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#125 of 228 Old 03-13-2007, 01:02 AM
 
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Originally Posted by monkey's mom View Post
It seemed like the mom was shamed into the weaning, to me.

The whole thing was so sad!
While I didn't watch the show (don't think they show it here), from what I have gleaned from other posts, these seems to be true, and I can see why so many mothers, including myself, are angry. Bfing mothers in the US deal with enough shaming, name calling, finger pointing, gossiping etc from other people in their community, to also have to hear about it on national tv. To suggest, on national tv no less, that to still be bfing a 14 month old is something shameful and done for the mother's selfishness and should be substituted with a teddy bear and a bottle is a slap...no...a punch in the face to every nursing mom out there. What message does that send to newly nursing mothers?

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#126 of 228 Old 03-13-2007, 01:05 AM
 
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While I didn't watch the show (don't think they show it here), from what I have gleaned from other posts, these seems to be true, and I can see why so many mothers, including myself, are angry. Bfing mothers in the US deal with enough shaming, name calling, finger pointing, gossiping etc from other people in their community, to also have to hear about it on national tv. To suggest, on national tv no less, that to still be bfing a 14 month old is something shameful and done for the mother's selfishness and should be substituted with a teddy bear and a bottle is a slap...no...a punch in the face to every nursing mom out there. What message does that send to newly nursing mothers?
WHO CARES!!!! If you are confident in your parenting style what does it matter about some lame show on ABC that obviously promotes parenting that isnt the best for the child? Really? Who cares about the looks, the comments, the shows or even the out of touch docs that try to make you wean early? Yes they do it. Yes there is always a pressure from society to do things the mainstream ways. And there is nothing you can do about it by supporting a show that screams it is the right way. And yes, by watching the show you support it. You get their ratings high enough to renew for another season. I guess thats what mainly bothers me by this thread. The mother clearly wanted to wean. She asked for it. No amount of gossip or putting down a method is going to change another woman's mind. So be content in the fact that you are doing right by your children and that they are blessed enough to have been raised by a mother who was willing to do things the hard way. WHO CARES what others say about the way you parent. Own it, walk it and love it.

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#127 of 228 Old 03-13-2007, 01:06 AM
 
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Originally Posted by emnjjsmom View Post
The mother said "I have been wanting to wean, I just didn't know how to do it."
Didn't she say that afterwards, though?

It just seemed like she was so ashamed after Jo's critique and trying to save face or something. There was so much nervous laughter as she tried to defend how "right" it felt to her and how much the baby liked/wanted it.
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#128 of 228 Old 03-13-2007, 01:09 AM
 
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Didn't she say that afterwards, though?

It just seemed like she was so ashamed after Jo's critique and trying to save face or something. There was so much nervous laughter as she tried to defend how "right" it felt to her and how much the baby liked/wanted it.
No, she said it to nanny jo when they discussed the issue of the baby being on the breast literally 24/7. If she was ashamed of breastfeeding...she must have been for a LONG time... I don't think a person can have much shame in them when they are spanking their children on national television.
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#129 of 228 Old 03-13-2007, 01:10 AM
 
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I truly care. I have been done nursing for close to 5 years, but truly have a calling to help moms brestfeed and help them to feel comfortable nursng for longer than most women feel is appropriate, and i have succeeded.

Spread the word...nursing is normal at 1 week, 1 month, l ear and beyond
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#130 of 228 Old 03-13-2007, 01:15 AM
 
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Didn't she say that afterwards, though?

It just seemed like she was so ashamed after Jo's critique and trying to save face or something. There was so much nervous laughter as she tried to defend how "right" it felt to her and how much the baby liked/wanted it.
Yes, earlier in the show she was talking about how much she enjoyed the bond that came with breastfeeding and that she wasn't ready to let that go, and it wasn't until Jo got her comments in that the mother said she wanted to wean. My own thoughts were that she felt like she should go ahead with what Jo obviously wanted, because they HAD asked for her help in their household after all.

We only get one TV station on our television set, and the only time I watch it is when DH is at school - SuperNanny time. I've tuned in sporadically this winter, and I've decided that I'm not ever tuning in again. The TV set is gone as of tomorrow.

Happy mama to L (Sept '06), R (Apr '08), R (Apr '10), and G (Mar '12)! - Homemade , Home birthed , Home schooled , Home grown

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#131 of 228 Old 03-13-2007, 01:16 AM
 
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We care because we are LACTIVISTIS! It has no effect on how I nurse my dd or when I wean beacaue I am informed enough to know that advice is BS. But what about my pregnant cousin or any other pregnant or new mom out there. This show was a disservice to them and to their babies. There was no mention of the the consequences for this childs nutrition or emotional state. It was portrayed as if the mother was only nursing for her own benefit. Maybe that's true though unlikely. What about the mother who thought it was in the best interst of her child to continue nursing but is now second guesing herself after seeing this show. I don't care what others think of me but I do care about other mother's recieving accurate, evidence based information.
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#132 of 228 Old 03-13-2007, 01:19 AM
 
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I don't think a person can have much shame in them when they are spanking their children on national television.
I don't know about that. I think spanking is MUCH more culturally accepted than nursing a toddler.

And to have an "expert," whom you revere, tell you that you're damaging your child and doing it for yourself on top of other cultural/familial/societal pressure with the same message...I bet that would be a lot for anyone to withstand.

She just seemed like she was trying so hard to follow her gut, but didn't have so many tools in her tool box (or MDC : ) to help her follow her gut AND add some better coping skills.
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#133 of 228 Old 03-13-2007, 01:19 AM
 
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We are confident, but how many mothers lurk here, looking for help because they have nowhere else to turn to? How many mothers have posted here doubting their ability to feed their own child? Why is that? In other cultures where bfing is mainstream, I doubt very much they have these same doubts. If bfing were mainstream in the US, shows like this would simply be a comedy, like Jerry Springer. But since bottlefeeding is the culture here, and bfing support is crappy (just take a look at the Bfing Challanges forum for some real gems) shows like Supernanny can be very influencial. She knows just enough to be dangerous. Her advice sounds like advice given by our parents, our peds, our friends. So she's probably right....right? Shows like this undermines the confidence of mothers who have little support, but still want to breastfeed. Mothers aren't made of stone. They have feelings too, and I'm sure that if a new mother nip and got smiles as opposed to stares and dirty looks, it would make a world of difference to their confidence. It's late and i'm getting loopy, but I hope someone understands what I'm trying to say.

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#134 of 228 Old 03-13-2007, 01:21 AM
 
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I wrote ABC earlier. I couldn't stand to watch(plus our TV is in a closet and it's a major ordeal to get it out, hook it up and play with the wires to make the picture come in) but I based my letter on what MDC mamas were quoting. I wrote that I was disappointed, I think was the word I used, that ABC would air an opinion by a so-called child expert that so directly opposed the WHO recomendation. I told them what the WHO recomendation before that.
I do think it's important to react in this case. I'm not for all nurse-ins all the time. It's not like I think because a manager in Sears or something looks oddly at a nursing mama then we should all go nurse in Sears. But in this case, Supernanny is a very popular show. Her opinion is respected. I think it's important to educate people about the WHO recomendation. Lots of people don't actually know.

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#135 of 228 Old 03-13-2007, 01:27 AM
 
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We are confident, but how many mothers lurk here, looking for help because they have nowhere else to turn to? How many mothers have posted here doubting their ability to feed their own child? Why is that? In other cultures where bfing is mainstream, I doubt very much they have these same doubts. If bfing were mainstream in the US, shows like this would simply be a comedy, like Jerry Springer. But since bottlefeeding is the culture here, and bfing support is crappy (just take a look at the Bfing Challanges forum for some real gems) shows like Supernanny can be very influencial. She knows just enough to be dangerous. Her advice sounds like advice given by our parents, our peds, our friends. So she's probably right....right? Shows like this undermines the confidence of mothers who have little support, but still want to breastfeed. Mothers aren't made of stone. They have feelings too, and I'm sure that if a new mother nip and got smiles as opposed to stares and dirty looks, it would make a world of difference to their confidence. It's late and i'm getting loopy, but I hope someone understands what I'm trying to say.
I get what you're saying. I really do. I've been amother who has hit those hard times with nursing as well. But i would never trust a show on american tv to justify my nursing relationship. But as even the quoted Dr. Sears will say, Breastfeeding MUST be beneficial to the whole family. Instead I think its important that we as a breastfeeding community conduct ourselves in a manner that is not judgemental or cruel. Its late for all of us, that could be why the emotions are running so high

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#136 of 228 Old 03-13-2007, 01:31 AM
 
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What's really sad, is that in a few years (months??), Jo will be disgusted with the baby's use of the bottle and the stuffed toy, and advocate some other method to rid her of those.

And the unmet needs will manifest elsewhere....
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#137 of 228 Old 03-13-2007, 01:33 AM
 
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I think it's interesting that the mother did seem more apolgetic or uncomfortable (in discussions with nanny) about nursing the baby than she did about hitting her children. At least that is the way it was portrayed by editing. And that's just bad for so many reasons. It puts extended nursing at the same level as hitting your children,(as unhealthy). Bad message.

The main issue I had about the episode was what someone stated before. They made it an 'either nurse your older baby 24/7 and damage the child and the rest of your family, OR wean and be healthy, happy and well adjusted.
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#138 of 228 Old 03-13-2007, 01:43 AM
 
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I'm against the awful misinformation in this episode. If mama wanted to wean, fine, but don't just agree to wean because you feel obligated to because Jo was there, agree because you wanted to. Also, correct the awful misinformation being passed around like it's common knowledge.
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#139 of 228 Old 03-13-2007, 01:43 AM
 
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Ok what I thought was even more ridiculous is that Jo wanted her to wean her to a BOTTLE!! What so the mom will later have to wean her from that!!! Makes NO sense to me!!! If its working why change it??

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#140 of 228 Old 03-13-2007, 01:45 AM
 
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Some quotes:

'struggling to let go of that feeding bond'

'she's become your pacifier'

'she doesn't need to be on your breast 24/7..if she was 2 weeks or 4 weeks that would be one thing...'

'if you choose to continue to breastfeed, that's your progative'

'if she's not hanging off her hip, she's...how can I put this nicely...hanging off her breast'

'is the reason your still breastfeeding her an emotional reason?'

'it's difficult to let go of that bond emotionally'

-cutting the ribbon of emotional attachment to the breast
-personal growth
-benefits her & baby

re: getting baby to sleep without breast, mom did great by keeping herself 'very detached and focused'

'psychologically your not bruised, your not damaged, your not scarred?'
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#141 of 228 Old 03-13-2007, 01:49 AM
 
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Yes because shooting down women who have made it as far as 14 months is lactivism. You all do not care about the women, you care about the nanny and the bad light it put on the AP, extended breastfeeding community. Nothing more nothing less and as much has been said in previous posts.

And by the way what are you doing to change society to help? At least im getting my midwifery degree.
Who here shot down the woman? Show of hands of the people who shot down the woman! Anyone? Hellooooo?

That's right, no one is shooting down the woman. We are all happy that she has beaten the stats and made it this far. We "care about the nanny", as you put it, because she is giving atrocious breastfeeding advice on national tv. She has basically said that bfing beyond a year is selfish, damaging to a child and basically useless. She might as well have called us a bunch of perverts! If that doesn't get your panties in a wad, I don't know what will.

If Nanny Jo is just supposed to be a show for comic relief, then fine. We don't have to take her seriously. But when she sets herself up in the public eye as an expert, doling out advice as truth, writing books on her methods, she needs to hold herself responsible for every word that comes out of her mouth. Just like peds, health workers and other people who have influencial ability over others need to exert responsibility and present fact based advice, so does Supernanny, since she presents herself as an expert with 16 years of nannying. Perhaps she does a great job as a nanny, and perhaps her discipline advice is good, but she is NOT a LC, an IBCLC or even an experienced bfing mother. So.what.is.she.doing.giving.out.bfing.advice????

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#142 of 228 Old 03-13-2007, 01:50 AM
 
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I'm watching it. I was expecting a horror show with the weaning but I don't think jo's advise is bad. Remember, these parents called the show. And the mother just said she has been wanting to wean for a long time but didn't know how.


Edit: But EWWWWWW! They are giving her a bottle? WTF?????
I agree. And not advocating all Jo is doing here . . . but lets not distort things on the other side either and make this family out to be something they really are not. . . this is not really a super-AP family . . . . I mean, they openly list "spanking" as pretty much their sole discipline method???

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#143 of 228 Old 03-13-2007, 01:53 AM
 
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She really made it look like EBF was for moms benefit and not for the babies, which if it were for my benefit I would have weaned both of my kids a LONG time ago

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#144 of 228 Old 03-13-2007, 02:05 AM
 
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It's obvious Jo is against EBF and I'm sure she does not think highly of mothers LIKE US. At some point it could have been said that still nursing would have BEEN OK, but it was clear that it just was not. She was proud of the mom for following through with being "detached."

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#145 of 228 Old 03-13-2007, 02:07 AM
 
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And as much as I would like to have gotten more sleep when dd2 was that age (we are just now starting to get more sleep!), it just goes against everything in me to leave a child in a crib alone, in a room alone, to cry herself asleep No way Jose.

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#146 of 228 Old 03-13-2007, 02:09 AM
 
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So this is not just a bunch of women standing around gossiping or putting anyone down. It is our responsibility to fight for correct information being given to people. What kind of mothers, what kind of people, would we be if we stood idly by while people are given such wrong and potentially damaging information? This has nothing to do with judgment and everything to do with Lactivism. Isn't that the whole point of the lactivism board? I have not seen one women here bash anyone or anything except the bad information given and the person giving out that bad information. No one has insulted the mom, we all feel she was misled. Certainly no one has judged the children. The only judgment being made is about the horrible information that Jo Frost is giving this family and now has given to millions of viewers. No one has attacked Jo Frost as a person, no one has name called.
Just thought this was worth repeating.

We were out and about during the show, so I didn't even have to decide whether or not to watch.

Reading these posts, though, has been heartbreaking enough.
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#147 of 228 Old 03-13-2007, 04:35 AM
 
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I think this is absolutely what we need to be discussing on a LACTIVISM board. I could care less whether or not this family was AP. What I care about, is that a purported childcare authority made all of those negative and anti-breastfeeding comments on national television - and then proceeded to 'advise' a mother on how to wean a child who was only two months past her first birthday.

As a lactivist, this concerns me a lot. People watch these shows for two reasons:
1. Sick fascination ("My family isn't THAT bad, aren't I a good person because my kids aren't that messed up!")
and
2. Advice they can apply to their own world. There are already several posts in this thread about mothers who've, since this show aired, been told by others that "See, breastfeeding as long as you have is WRONG, Nanny Jo said so!"

And it's true, I'd say it's unlikely that an MDC mom would give in to that pressure - she's pretty likely to have researched her decision and even if she doesn't have a good support network IRL, she's got one here. She can make it.

But what about the mom who doesn't have support IRL, and has been following her instincts (AP? What's AP?) - and is still bf past one year. This show has dealt mothers like that a real blow. Because it's given license to all the people in their lives to attack for sure now.

And it's all directly contradicted by medical and scientific research and recommendations.

Now, if a mom wants to wean before it's recommended, then there are ways to do so. But it should be noted that she is doing so before the timeline recommended, that she may be placing her child at risk, and that there are other options out there.

I'm happy when moms make it to 3 months, let alone six months or a year. But that doesn't mean that I can't (or won't) fight for accurate information to be given to the American public.

I don't think this is a "just walk the MDC walk and don't worry about other moms and what they think" issue. This is an issue of a respected "authority" giving out inaccurate and WRONG information. And the we've already seen people receive that bad information from their support systems IRL. I just don't see the virtue in ignoring inaccurate and harmful information being pushed onto the general public as legitimate when it's directly contradicted by all the major medical authorities.

My step-MIL talks about this show, loves it, and discusses it with her Home Ec classes. She can't be the only educator out there who does this, I'm sure she's not the only MIL who watches the show either.

Beyond the lactivism issue itself - it sounds like it was heartbreaking to watch the poor baby. I know when Ina weaned (gently) at 2 1/2 because I just couldn't keep nursing while pregnant (I'd intended CLW) -- she had issues adjusting to it and definitely suffered for it. I can only imagine how much more difficult it would be for a younger child.

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#148 of 228 Old 03-13-2007, 05:15 AM
 
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I agree with the PP, and I wrote them again : I will not stop there, I will be writing the sponsors and the FCC. Do I really think something will change, prob not, but I can not in good consciousness let this go. I have already read from moms that they are already receiving negative comments from family after watching this show and saying things like "see, she did fine weaning", "see, your going to change your mind when your LO is 14 months"...aaahhhhh!!!! So NOT what we need!!!!!
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#149 of 228 Old 03-13-2007, 05:51 AM
 
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I think this is absolutely what we need to be discussing on a LACTIVISM board. I could care less whether or not this family was AP. What I care about, is that a purported childcare authority made all of those negative and anti-breastfeeding comments on national television - and then proceeded to 'advise' a mother on how to wean a child who was only two months past her first birthday.

As a lactivist, this concerns me a lot. People watch these shows for two reasons:
1. Sick fascination ("My family isn't THAT bad, aren't I a good person because my kids aren't that messed up!")
and
2. Advice they can apply to their own world. There are already several posts in this thread about mothers who've, since this show aired, been told by others that "See, breastfeeding as long as you have is WRONG, Nanny Jo said so!"

And it's true, I'd say it's unlikely that an MDC mom would give in to that pressure - she's pretty likely to have researched her decision and even if she doesn't have a good support network IRL, she's got one here. She can make it.

But what about the mom who doesn't have support IRL, and has been following her instincts (AP? What's AP?) - and is still bf past one year. This show has dealt mothers like that a real blow. Because it's given license to all the people in their lives to attack for sure now.

And it's all directly contradicted by medical and scientific research and recommendations.

Now, if a mom wants to wean before it's recommended, then there are ways to do so. But it should be noted that she is doing so before the timeline recommended, that she may be placing her child at risk, and that there are other options out there.

I'm happy when moms make it to 3 months, let alone six months or a year. But that doesn't mean that I can't (or won't) fight for accurate information to be given to the American public.

I don't think this is a "just walk the MDC walk and don't worry about other moms and what they think" issue. This is an issue of a respected "authority" giving out inaccurate and WRONG information. And the we've already seen people receive that bad information from their support systems IRL. I just don't see the virtue in ignoring inaccurate and harmful information being pushed onto the general public as legitimate when it's directly contradicted by all the major medical authorities.

My step-MIL talks about this show, loves it, and discusses it with her Home Ec classes. She can't be the only educator out there who does this, I'm sure she's not the only MIL who watches the show either.

Beyond the lactivism issue itself - it sounds like it was heartbreaking to watch the poor baby. I know when Ina weaned (gently) at 2 1/2 because I just couldn't keep nursing while pregnant (I'd intended CLW) -- she had issues adjusting to it and definitely suffered for it. I can only imagine how much more difficult it would be for a younger child.
ITA!

personally, this whole episode was difficult for me...my son is 14mths and i couldn't imagine weaning him right now. i cried as the mom put the pillow between herself and her daughter as nanny jo cheered her on. the saddest comment to me was about how the mom was now 'detached' from her daughter
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Originally Posted by elanorh View Post
I think this is absolutely what we need to be discussing on a LACTIVISM board. I could care less whether or not this family was AP. What I care about, is that a purported childcare authority made all of those negative and anti-breastfeeding comments on national television - and then proceeded to 'advise' a mother on how to wean a child who was only two months past her first birthday.

As a lactivist, this concerns me a lot. People watch these shows for two reasons:
1. Sick fascination ("My family isn't THAT bad, aren't I a good person because my kids aren't that messed up!")
and
2. Advice they can apply to their own world. There are already several posts in this thread about mothers who've, since this show aired, been told by others that "See, breastfeeding as long as you have is WRONG, Nanny Jo said so!"

And it's true, I'd say it's unlikely that an MDC mom would give in to that pressure - she's pretty likely to have researched her decision and even if she doesn't have a good support network IRL, she's got one here. She can make it.

But what about the mom who doesn't have support IRL, and has been following her instincts (AP? What's AP?) - and is still bf past one year. This show has dealt mothers like that a real blow. Because it's given license to all the people in their lives to attack for sure now.

And it's all directly contradicted by medical and scientific research and recommendations.

Now, if a mom wants to wean before it's recommended, then there are ways to do so. But it should be noted that she is doing so before the timeline recommended, that she may be placing her child at risk, and that there are other options out there.

I'm happy when moms make it to 3 months, let alone six months or a year. But that doesn't mean that I can't (or won't) fight for accurate information to be given to the American public.

I don't think this is a "just walk the MDC walk and don't worry about other moms and what they think" issue. This is an issue of a respected "authority" giving out inaccurate and WRONG information. And the we've already seen people receive that bad information from their support systems IRL. I just don't see the virtue in ignoring inaccurate and harmful information being pushed onto the general public as legitimate when it's directly contradicted by all the major medical authorities.

My step-MIL talks about this show, loves it, and discusses it with her Home Ec classes. She can't be the only educator out there who does this, I'm sure she's not the only MIL who watches the show either.
ITA and couldn't have said it better!

personally, this whole episode was difficult for me...my son is 14mths and i couldn't imagine weaning him right now. i cried as the mom put the pillow between herself and her daughter as nanny jo cheered her on. the saddest comment to me was about how the mom was now 'detached' from her daughter
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