Fiddlefern wrote in the "are you overdue" thread....
|I just want to affirm that you are the momma, and the choice resides with you.
Fiddlefern -- thanks forthe wonderful reminder! I consider myself to be a pretty independent thinker, but I have found myself questioning myself here and there when it comes to this pregnancy and my upcoming labor.
For example, I was pretty well decided on not having any internal exams, but when the time came for my OB to want to do one, I caved. I asked her why she wanted to do it and she said she wanted to be sure the baby was head-down, so we could try to turn her if she's not. I guess you could say I let fear get the best of me and I allowed the exam. As it turned out, it was not at all uncomfortable, and I had no bleeding or cramping afterwards, so I felt okay about allowing it, for the most part. But there is part of me that wishes I was able to trust myself and my instincts more, rather than fall into the "just to be sure" mindset.
: I guess with it being my first pregnancy, I am letting my nerves and lack of experience play a larger role than I originally thought I would.
I even found myself wavering when talking to a friend about how soon I want to go to the hospital after labor starts. I was saying that if my water breaks but I wasn't having regualr contractions, I wanted to stay home as long as possible, so as to avoid them wanting to induce me. I told her how my doula assured me that as long as nothing was interted in my vagina, the risk of infection was very, very low. Said friend immediately jumped on me saying I really need to go to the hospital ASAP after my water breaks, becuase "you just don't want to mess around with the risk of infection". *sigh* Now, I know a lot of her saying this is colored by her own experience (she was leaking for 24+ hours before going to the hospital and she ended up being induced, put on antibiotics, and having a epidural - all things she had not wanted originally), and I really should trust my gut, but I have to admit, it made me take pause... Would I be putting myself and baby at risk of infeciton if I waited to long? Is such a risk worth me being in "control" of the situation?
The closer I get to my due date (this Tuesday!) the more I am thinking about these things, and I really appreciate the reminder and reassurance that I AM the momma and that I AM the one who gets to decide. That sort of pressure is a bit daunting, but I would rather have it than not.