Anyone comforted by the inevitability of birth? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 11 Old 04-02-2004, 12:01 PM - Thread Starter
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Okay, I think this is kind of weird, but I am very comforted by the inevitability of birth. I tell myself that there is no point in being apprehensive or scared because it is going to happen when it is time no matter how I feel about it. So may as well welcome it and be joyous since there isn't anything I can do about it at this point. It is a weird sort of peace and serenity.

"The child may fear to be born and the mother to give birth, yet neither can choose otherwise when the time is come..." Tanith Lee

Totally unrelated to birth, a metaphor in a story of hers, but it is what I thought of as I wrote this.
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#2 of 11 Old 04-02-2004, 01:36 PM
 
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I definately know what you mean, Julie. I am not scared of the birth itself, but I have been really worried about having pre-term labor. I don't know why I worry about it. Dd was born at 37 weeks, 2 days. That is considered full-term. I just am so worried that this baby will come too early. I feel like I've had a relatively stressful pregnancy and I think that adds to my worries.

It is cool to think of the inevitability of the birth. I think with first pregnancies, you don't think about it as much because you haven't experienced it. It's like it almost doesn't seem inevitable! With subsequent births you have some idea of what it will be like, and you know it WILL happen.
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#3 of 11 Old 04-02-2004, 09:05 PM
 
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Yes! Several times now we've been threatened with loss of our insurance. Dh keeps saying "It's going to be OK!" And I realized, he's right! The baby will still come out!

Also, our plans to have my sister be there as a support person for dd may not work out, and we have no one else who could do it...oh well, that won't stop the baby from coming out!
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#4 of 11 Old 04-03-2004, 07:44 PM
 
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yes and no... but i'm not that uncomfortable yet. :LOL : when I get to the point where i'm miserable all the time, i'm sure i'll find it comforting to know that eventually it will end. for now, though, i'm comfortable being pregnant.

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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#5 of 11 Old 04-08-2004, 05:15 PM
 
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Im definately looking forward to labor. Whether Im comforted by the fact that its going to happen, no matter what... well I guess probably not yet.
The first two have been late, and I have a big feeling this one will be later than them, partially cause Im terrified of having a third child already.
Its not comforting at all that it could happen at a time when Im not prepared for it. I've had a couple dreams where I go into labor at 37 weeks, without having ordered my birth kit even, and the whole time I was thinking " this is too early, Im supposed to have 4 more weeks!!" Those dreams still have good labors, and healthy babies, but something goes wrong every time.

And really, I cant go into labor in May AT ALL. I have that month scheduled up the wazoo already. I have a conference mid-month and I am hoping that we will get to go to Southern Faire for a weekend, and stay in LA for a couple days. (Thats 5 hrs drive + from here.)
The fact that I could go into labor that far away from home does not sit well with me... Although I have long labors, I dont really want to be in early labor on I-5 coming home, LOL... And even worse is the thought of spending time in a hospital down there.

Hmm... I'm comforted by the fact that my labor day prediction for my DS was only a few hours off, and the fact that I have such a strong feeling about when this one will be born. Im okay with going past that cause I know it will happen in its own time, but I'll be surprised (and probably not pleasantly) if it's before.

It sounds weird to me, when I advocate not scheduling births by induction, but truthfully, Im comforted by the fact that I'm pretty sure of the days when it will happen. The sad thing is that I am really planning it much like a mother who is going to be induced... My calendar is busy until the week before, and empty after.
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#6 of 11 Old 04-10-2004, 02:32 AM - Thread Starter
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I was more thinking of the pointlessness of being scared of labor as the baby is going to come out whether you like it or not. "The only way out is through" That kind of inevitability. Not so much dates, I think we all worry about early or late/not being prepared. I know I still do.
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#7 of 11 Old 04-10-2004, 08:32 PM
 
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hmm... I guess the fact that its going to happen no matter what should really take away the fear, but it doesnt for me... My fears dont start until labor is over and the baby is born LOL.
I guess the fact that thats going to happen no matter what should comfort me, but it really doesnt. Its one of the reasons my labor was so long with DS and I imagine I will have to confront that tiger in labor and remind myself that it will be okay after this one is born and it wont be as bad as Im imagining.

So I guess the inevitablity of having another baby isnt comforting at all...
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#8 of 11 Old 04-10-2004, 10:55 PM - Thread Starter
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Wondering what about AFTER labor you fear. Mostly since I am pg with #2 and you have 2, so wondering if your experience after #2 was born was hard. I really don't know what to expect, I am hoping for a fairly smooth transition, but am operating under the assumption that this one will be just as disagreeable in the early days as Tain was (prepare for the worst ). He was inconsolable the first month. I remember being so tired... and I do worry a lot about my ability to function if that ends up being the case this time. But I do have people here for the first month, which is much more than I had for Tain, so at least for that time I will have someone to be with Tain while I sleep with the baby. I am hoping that the baby will settle into a routine after a month...guess we'll see.
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#9 of 11 Old 04-10-2004, 11:05 PM
 
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I fear not getting enough time with #2 before going back to school. School starts on June 21, and it's only a half-day, but it will take up 3 hours of my mornings every day. So that is my fear if I go very late...

If I go early, I fear that it will be in the middle of dh's finals or his student teaching and he will have to miss out on some important assignment.

Other fears...(besides the threat of a hospital transport):
- Might not be able to have someone stay with dd after all. I know she will demand our attention if we can't get someone, so we might have to send her off to dh's parents.
- Having a harder labor than last time. I'm feeling like I'm prepared for the pain, but wonder if there is some new kind of pain I haven't yet experienced.
- Being overly managed during the birth. I've gone over my birth plan with the midwives several times, and they are fine with it, but you never know how things will go until you're there.
- Being cramped and uncomfortable. Our place is small, so I worry I won't have enough room to run around.

But...in spite of all that, the baby will still come out!
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#10 of 11 Old 04-10-2004, 11:52 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by Greaseball
- Being cramped and uncomfortable. Our place is small, so I worry I won't have enough room to run around.
That's interesting: one of the only doubts in my mind about getting an epidural is that I know I'll want to be in a small space when I get close (I like small spaces when I'm feeling stressed/overworked/etc) to delivery, and I worry if that feeling won't overwhelm me and make me run into the bathroom to hide. :LOL

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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#11 of 11 Old 04-16-2004, 12:19 PM
 
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I guess I've never really doubted the inevitability of birth. Roland was born at 38 weeks, and I'd convinced myself he'd be a post-due date baby.

I'm quite confident that nothing is going to go *medically* wrong... I'm not concerned about a need for transport or anything like that. I can even have my IV at home if I have GBS (last time I had to go to the hospital for it)

I'm very unnerved by the concept that labour might not go as planned. Every time I'm at the midwives, they talk about the possibility of a very short labour. My labour with DS (my first) was 9 hours long, and it was slowed down by the trip to the hospital. I am to call them at the very first hint of labour. I am NOT to wait until I'm 100% sure I'm in labour. If I've had a contraction, and I *think* the next one is stronger, call them, etc etc...

Aside from the fact that I don't want an UC, it worries me that the focus is so much on a short labour.... what if it's a really llllloooooonnnnggg labour this time? Will I be prepared for that?!
Deep down, I *know* I'll handle it. I'm not afraid of having to catch my own baby, and I enjoyed my labour last time... so more labour would probably=more fun.

I'm just *really* attached to my backyard picnic labour plan. With Ds, I planned to have candles lit & a fire in the fireplace. My mom blew out the candles while I was at the hospital, and they were forgotten when we got back... it was time to push. The fireplace never got lit. It made no difference to me after the fact. So I know I won't care after the baby is born, if my plans didn't work out... but I want them to now!!

I'm focussing on being grateful that I'm having the kind of pregnancy/have the kind of outlook about birth that I CAN worry about such a trivial thing.:LOL

~Teresa, raising DS (Jan. 02) and DD1 (Jun. 04) and DD2 (Dec. 11) with DH.

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