someone put my placenta in the freezer before i had a chance to look at it, and i was rather annoyed. i saw it when it was delivered but wanted really to look at it before it was frozen...well, everyone was trying to be helpful and clean up and so on, so i shouldn't be annoyed. i was also annoyed that my neighbor, who has had seven babies and assisted at a few "unassisted" births, was there for my daughter and since my daughter was next to me at the very end, my friend was quietly watching from the hall. that would have been fine except after his enormous head was out and i was just lying there ecstatic and peaceful, she muttered something about delivering the shoulders. she was present at a shoulder dystocia with no mw or medical help, so i know it came from concern, but i am pissed that she said anything and loud enough for me to hear. i wasn't worried in the least and i had three excellent midwives caring for me. my midwife is also so skilled she never lets her clients know if she is concerned until she needs to take action; she maintains a really calm demeanor and environment. so i am a little peeved about my neighbor/friend and thinking, i knew better, i knew i didn't want anyone but the hired midwives...i had only asked her to be available "in case" but my poor daughter was really getting upset and i asked her if she wanted our friend's company without thinking it through too well. oh well. for my first birth i wanted to ask friends but thought better of it, and then wondered if i should have had them anyway. this time i asked her to come for my kid, and realized i should have hired a doula to be there for my daughter. if i am ever blessed to have more children (though we are in no way shape or form planning on any more-not that we planned these two) i will know i do not want friends there, except for two who live too far away.
it is interesting that after the fact one can start thinking in terms of how to have an even better time birthing the next baby, and forget it was really fabulous this time, despite the small, very small dissatisfactions. i am reminded of my cesarean-birthing clients- immediately after the birth everyone, in my experience, says they are so thrilled they don't care about the surgery. it is only later, if at all, that disappointment and depression set in. it is an interesting phenomenon that we are so focused on bonding we only deal with the birth later.