alright all you July homebirthing mamas - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 11 Old 06-30-2004, 12:06 PM - Thread Starter
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getting a lil shall I say....I have fear of the unknown about my upcoming homebirth and natural labor, since I have never done or attended either before... Chloe was pitocin, epidural..and thankfully no episiotomy...she was fine...cord wrapped once on her neck..other than that a perfect beautiful birth they said I had trouble dialating past 3..took me 24 hrs, due to some cervival scarring from previous cryosurgery for cervical cancer. I think it was because I didn't know to relax..and I was tightening up with every cntx.

I know this is what I want..I'm hoping this is the start of some progression of the birth of my children (like the next one will be born in a tipi or
just lack of support and working in a hospital..with a NICU and OR..and seeing what goes on and how quickly things happen. But for every baby that I've seen have to go to the icu, there are 15 more that come out just fine and really don't need a thing (even though they get the full interventions anyway)

I noticed we have quite a few July homebirths (even some unassisted!), if anyone has anything to say....homebirth, fears, beautiful stories, support, things that helped you deal with family or labor...

i know there is a HB forum, but its nice to have some closeness of the july HB mamas in the big world of cyberspace.

~mama to some wonderful kids
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#2 of 11 Old 06-30-2004, 12:26 PM
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I thought about starting a post just like this.

Ds was born in the hospital - no medication, good labor, really long painful pushing phase. He had a really tight cord around his neck when his head came through, which had to be cut before his body could be born. He was blue, limp, and not breathing for a bit, but came back just fine with some oxygen. The nurses admitted later that he gave them a bit of a scare. I wish that hadn't happened, but otherwise it was a decent hospital experience. If I had been allowed to get any rest the next two days I would say it was a great hospital experience!

Anyway, we are planning our homebirth with this one, due in 9 days! Just got the tub delivered last night. I have read and researched until my eyes hurt, and I know that homebirth is safe. I feel confident in my body's ability to birth. I am close to a hospital. I trust my midwives. My dh, mom and sister, who will be there, are all fully supportive. But I still have my lingering 'what if' fears. Sometimes they are compounded when someone like my dad voices his concerns for my safety. My dad has always been a very influential decision maker in my life, so it is hard for me to calmly respond to his concerns and still make this decision. I keep reminding myself that he is truly frightened of any type of 'female' medical issue, so when he says stuff like "What if you need a blood transfusion?" I need to chalk it up to his ignorance and fear, not his godly ability to predict what might happen. He also doesn't understand how I could choose this given what happened with ds. But I have discussed the situation at length with my own and other midwives, and all agree that the situation would have been handled much the same at home (same equipment, etc.), and maybe even better since they would have left ds on my chest while giving him oxygen.

Then there are people like my SIL, who just think I am crazy and irresponsible. They don't really say anything outright to me, but are clear by their disapproving silence whenever the topic comes up as to how they feel. And they gossip all over their office about how crazy we must be to do this, what an irresponsible decision it is, selfish to put our wants over the safety of the baby, etc. etc. Normally I can dismiss these things no problem, but when pregnant and emotional and vulnerable and dealing with my own fears, it is harder to ignore.

I think one of the sweetest things that happened though was from my MIL, surprisingly. When we first told her about the homebirth, she was pretty shocked. Thought it was a bad idea, argued with us about the safety issues, etc. Then a few weeks later over lunch one day, offered to pay for it. That really meant a lot to me, because it said to me that although she didn't understand our decision, she believed that we were smart and responsible enough to make the right choice for us, and that she wanted to support us in that. I was really touched.

So I'm trying to let go of the negative energy, and just focus on birthing energy, and relishing my last days with ds as my only child. Some days are better than others, but I am feeling good about it right now.
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#3 of 11 Old 06-30-2004, 02:49 PM
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I am so excited. I let go of all fear when DH and I agreed to have the baby at home. It seems so much more natural to me. Up till now I was so scared about the thought of going to the hospital mid-labour, I couldn't picture having a baby there!

We bought an inflatable pool, 5 feet around, and 2 feet high, and it is transparant (for better viewability!), hopefully I can labour in there. DH really wants me to have a waterbirth, he thinks it is so beautiful and natural, and he wants to catch the baby. Hopefully I will still feel comforatable in the water at that time, I know he will be disapointed if I don't waterbirth, he just likes the idea so much.

My midwife was almost as excited as we were when we told her. She just loves home births and feels much more comforatable. I guess it makes her job easier because part of what she has to do at the hospital is make it seem like home. (plus she mentioned something about less paperwork, lol)

My mom is getting excited too, she offered her house with a jacussi tub, even said she would rent a hot tub, but we declined. The major reason we want to have the baby at home, is to be in a place we are in control, and others are guests (especailly my mom!). She told me she wanted to have a home birth with my little brother (now 13) but my dad wouldn't let her.

We still have to tell my dad. I don't know what he will say. When I told him we bought a co-sleeper and didn't really want a crib he said something like "you will regret that, you need to be able to close the door so you can get some sleep. Brian will need to sleep if he is working." *sigh* It makes so much sence that my screams were ignored by at least him when I was a baby. I mean, I know they thought that was the best thing, but I still don't trust him.

We still have to tell my MIL. She is very supportive of most of our decisions. In fact she was the one who really got me thinking about parenting style. She bought me a sling, and a co-sleeper. However, she is a nurse, and I'm not sure how she will react to us giving birth in a kiddie pool.

So we are now collecting all our "needed things". I am 37 weeks on Sunday, I don't expect to have the baby before 40 weeks. I am also in the process of moving, so it's a little hectic around here.

I am really excited, and can't wait to read your birth stories, and hopefully share my own soon!
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#4 of 11 Old 07-01-2004, 11:15 AM
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My anxiety level has been going up a bit now that July is here. I'm still excited about this homebirth. I trust our midwife, although her assistant seems a little bit unsure of herself. My midwife is almost two hours away, and her assistant lives near us. But I do know that the assistant has had two homebirths herself.

I did have a hospital birth with ds. Even with all of the medical interventions, (Induction for preeclampsia with Cytotec and Pitocin, IV antibiotics, catheter, electronic blood pressure cuff, internal fetal monitors) I did manage to go without an epidural. Ds was born alert and ready to nurse.

I trust that my body knows how to birth a baby. I trust that the people around me will support me. I am a bit concerned about how my dh will be as my labor support. (I would probably prefer a doula, but we can't afford one. And dh really wants to help me through labor this time.)

I can't wait to read all of the July homebirth stories! And I hope there are plenty before it's my turn. I'm hoping for a few more weeks to get the house ready.
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#5 of 11 Old 07-08-2004, 11:47 AM
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I'm getting a little antsy. I had an epidural, then episiotamy and vacuum suction with ds#1. I thought it was a great birth until I found out that it didn't have to be that bad. If they had let me get up out of that bed none of it may have happened. Oh well. Dh is getting nervous too. He thinks I'm in labor everytime I even breath heavy. Well, I think I'm going to re-read some of the birth stories in Spritual Midwifery or Baby Catcher to calm myself down. I just keep thinking "what if" I can't handle it, etc. when this whole preg. I've had confidence in my body and the baby to do their jobs as they were intended. It's just getting very scarry now that we're almost there. Is anyone else getting freaked out??
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#6 of 11 Old 07-08-2004, 11:53 AM
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It's just getting very scarry now that we're almost there. Is anyone else getting freaked out??

My official due date is Monday, and I'm having moments of total freak out when I realize that it could be any day now. During the moments when the house is fairly picked up and we have groceries in the fridge and ds is being cooperative, I feel pretty cool about everything. But when every toy is dumped on to the floor, food is caked onto the furniture, ds is waking up every 20 minutes because he's congested, and I can't figure out what to feed him, I start to panic. So I'm really trying to just keep things under control here, because it really helps me to stay calm.

I'm feeling a little more behind this time than I did with ds. I still don't have half the diapers washed, haven't washed the carseat cover, haven't set up the bassinet (even though the baby will probably cosleep, I'd still like a little bed area). All the homebirth supplies are pretty much in order, and I finally got dh to test the hose connection last night, so all that is good to go.

I'm just trying to work on relaxing and breathing and keep telling myself that it will all work out.
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#7 of 11 Old 07-08-2004, 04:20 PM
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Anytime I have any inkling of a feeling like, "What in the world am I doing?", I just remember birth with dd: in a hospital with bright lights, lots of nurses, ruptured waters, episiotomy, vacuum extraction, etc (unwanted the first time around). Then not getting to bond with dd for over 3 hours. She had to be in the nursery "for observation."

That puts it into perspective for me. I think, "I just want to be at home. I want to relax. I want to bond with the baby."

I really want for the environment to be soothing--not so shocking for the little one. I don't want to cut the cord immediately or put stuff in the eyes (they did with dd).

All of the I-don't-want-to things reassure me. I know I am doing the right thing. I know I won't be alone--even if I'm physically alone. I believe in guardian angels, etc.

I know my body knows how to do this. I just have to get my head out of the way and allow it happen. Here's a good affirmation: "Just get out of your own way, and let it happen."

I know we can do this. People do this all the time all over the world and have been doing it for a long, long time. We can do it.
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#8 of 11 Old 07-08-2004, 11:34 PM
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It's so interesting reading this thread because I am so scared of hospital birth that I am so relaxed about this birth at home. My first was a brutal 43 hour ruptured membrane/3 (two botched) IVs/cervidil/pitocin/no epidural/episitomy/retained placenta/hemorrage birth. I can't imagine anything worse! (except maybe all that ending in a c-section). It was a string of interventions that would have been totally unnecessary had I been at home - I just know it.

So I am so relaxed this time and have no fear...I can have my baby in peace with nobody watching the clock.
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#9 of 11 Old 07-24-2004, 01:09 PM
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Hi Ladies! I'm checking in really late to just say hi - we are also planning a homebirth - our EDD was July 18th and we are still awaiting our baby girl. We had a miserable hospital birth 3 years ago yesterday with 20 hours of labor, 12 hours of pitocin and a pretty good tear after fetal distress (arm wrapped around his neck) and are SOOOO looking forward to a peaceful experience this time around. I am very relieved to not have to have an IV, or a fetal monitor, or strangers popping in every hour to look at the monitor but never bothering to ask how I'm feeling, etc. I could go on and on...

Unfortunately my mom and sister have been here from out of town for a week - which is making me feel like a watched pot, but other than that I'm feeling pretty good. Not many braxton hicks, or prelabor symptoms, but my midwife estimates that the baby will be here in the next few days, based on when my first 'hormonal shift' occured - when pregnancy and labor overlap - and soon will become separate.

I feel blessed to have a homebirth midwife who is a bit of a diety in this town. She has been catching babies for 20 years here and is friends with Ina May. In fact, when Ina May was in town a few months ago for a workshop and lecture, she had a stomach bug and was staying at my midwife's home - she said she could think of no one else she would rather have take care of her when sick!

Oh yeah, the yeastie beasties are rearing their ugly head since I'm on my second course of antibiotics for GBS.

OK, my back is aching now... hoping this is a good sign of things to come!

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#10 of 11 Old 07-24-2004, 04:41 PM
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I am very relaxed and prepared to have the baby at home. I can't picture giving birth in a hospital, it just doens't seem right. I know I've made the right choice.

Hopefully the baby will come soon, we're all so very excited to meet him!

Good luck everyone.

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#11 of 11 Old 07-25-2004, 04:21 AM
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My mom had all three of us girls at home. She had an orgasm with my middle sister! But I always remember my birth story as her bleeding a lot and being mad at dad for not taking her to the hospital. (she had me in 3 contractions-45 min) So when I got pregnant I wanted it in a hospital. Now for the last two months I have wished I was doing it at home. There are just so many interventions even for a "natural" delivery that I feel upset and am secretly thinking of having an unassisted birth at home. Especally because we have precipitus labor in my family. (my sister was 1.5 hrs in active labor)

Anyway Rock on with your home births! Next time I am planning on it.
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