Circumcision - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 78 Old 07-06-2004, 07:34 PM
 
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Another thing about "looking like Daddy"... there is nothing that says it will look just like his anyways. YK? Each does look a little different. No two the same.

You might want to ask him if he's really afraid of his son looking different or if he's afraid of looking different himself??
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#62 of 78 Old 07-06-2004, 10:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mom2baldie
Caroline,

Have you spoken to your pediatrician about his/her views on circumcision? I was pleasantly surprised when I spoke to mine when pregnant with Paityn (before we found out she was a girl) and she was very encouraging about leaving boys intact. I live in Texas and she said that in this area (I know its different everywhere) that the locker room excuse just doesnt hold up anymore because so many parents are deciding to leave their boys alone. Supposedly when Paityn (and this new baby) are teenagers, intact boys will be the majority (again, this is around here).

So maybe they will all be making fun of each other, but at least the numbers will be a bit more even...


I did talk with my MW today. She is totally agains circ'ing, but she was very understanding about my husbands view. She also did agree that circ'ing IS the norm around here and we would be in the minority. Not a big deal to me, but that was one of my husbands concerns. She made my next appt for when DH could come, and she said she will be happy to talk to him as well.

What was interesting to me, she said that the more "educated" people (meaning upper class professionals) in our area were the ones choosing NOT to circ. That may be a great arguement to use....


Caroline
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#63 of 78 Old 07-07-2004, 12:28 PM
 
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Regarding "locker room discussions" -- my son, now 7, HAS discussed the penis difference with his little friends as they pee together at school. And you know what? It was NO BIG DEAL. He asked about it and I answered. That's all it amounted to! The conversation went something like this. He was about 5.

Him: "Will's peenie has a ball on the end."
Me: "He's probably circumcised; that's where they take off the end piece, when they're babies."
Him: "Why didn't you take off my end piece?"
Me: "Because I wanted to keep you just like God made you. I didn't want you to go through any pain; you were a perfect little baby and I couldn't stand the thought of them cutting something off you!"
Him: "Oh. Good."
Me: "Yours looks like that underneath the piece of skin. It's called the foreskin."
Him: "Can I have a drink?"

We might have the discussion again; I don't know. All I'm trying to convey is that even if they DO notice a difference, it doesn't mean it's the end of the world and there will be emotional scarring involved. Just explain it in terms they'll understand. You'll be explaining why he's got blonde hair and Will has brown anyway. Kids are learning everyone's different. Viewed from that angle, Caroline, maybe your husband won't see it as such a big deal?
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#64 of 78 Old 07-07-2004, 08:07 PM
 
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We're not circing this baby. We didn't circ DS1, but it was a very heated debate between DH and I before and after he was born. I was dead set against it, but I told DH if it meant that much that our son have it done, then he would have to arrange to have it done, and he had to be there to comfort him during it. He never got around to making any of the phone calls.

It's still a very sensitive topic with DH, but when the midwife asked about it a month ago, he was the one who piped up and said NO. I'm grateful that we'll have two intact little boys!

Pam

Mama to ds 11, ds 7, dd 5, dd 2, and dd born on 6/17/12!

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#65 of 78 Old 07-07-2004, 08:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tree Swallow
. Just explain it in terms they'll understand. You'll be explaining why he's got blonde hair and Will has brown anyway. Kids are learning everyone's different. Viewed from that angle, Caroline, maybe your husband won't see it as such a big deal?


That is the route I am taking...he has agreed to talk to the MW about it, so I have hope!!

caroline
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#66 of 78 Old 07-07-2004, 10:22 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tree Swallow
Me: "Yours looks like that underneath the piece of skin. It's called the foreskin."
Him: "Can I have a drink?"
I love little children!!!

jen

: mama to T 9/04 and E 11/08
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#67 of 78 Old 07-08-2004, 01:09 AM
 
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Ellen, what a cute little story! I'm glad you remembered/recorded it so you could share it with us two years later. I'm still waiting for Nicolas to notice Daddy's is different, but he hasn't said anything. He still showers with me and with dh occasionally. (Is that weird? Sure doesn't seem like a big deal to us, but I remember thinking it was iffy when a day care girl I watched showered with her Daddy still at the age of 4 or 5... Nicolas is almost 6.)

Acornmom, what a great perspective you add to this discussion, and how encouraging it must be for Caroline!

Lynsey, I too was pleasantly surprised to hear my docs didn't feel circ is necessary. Seemed even to be against it (she said if we were to circ, she would want to do it instead of the hospital ped, since she was trained in Canada and uses a "more humane" technique.) (So why do you do them at all? I wanted to ask them...)
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#68 of 78 Old 07-08-2004, 09:54 AM
 
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T

Quote:
Originally Posted by msrog
(Is that weird? Sure doesn't seem like a big deal to us, but I remember thinking it was iffy when a day care girl I watched showered with her Daddy still at the age of 4 or 5... Nicolas is almost 6.)
It is my very staunch opinion that there is absolutely nothing wrong with a child being comfortable around his naked family members. It teaches the child that our bodies are beautiful and nothing to be ashamed of, a belief that seems to be quite rare in our society nowadays. At some point he will turn a corner and start wanting more privacy. I'm sure there are no reasons that he's continued showering with you other than he likes the company.

I'm getting off of my children + nakedness soapbox before I go too wild. Otherwise this will turn into a rant

j

: mama to T 9/04 and E 11/08
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#69 of 78 Old 07-08-2004, 10:58 AM
 
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Savannah,

I dont think its weird at all. Riley is 6 and although he doesnt shower with me anymore, he is often in the room with me when I am. He doesnt really seem to notice anything, so until 1 of us starts feeling uncomfortable we'll just keep going the way we are going...
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#70 of 78 Old 07-08-2004, 11:17 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mom2baldie
Savannah,

I dont think its weird at all. Riley is 6 and although he doesnt shower with me anymore, he is often in the room with me when I am. He doesnt really seem to notice anything, so until 1 of us starts feeling uncomfortable we'll just keep going the way we are going...

My son is 9 and just recently yelled at me when I walked in on him in the shower...my baby is growing up......

Caroline
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#71 of 78 Old 07-08-2004, 11:21 AM
 
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what happens during a circ: :


http://www.cirp.org/library/procedure/plastibell/

Me & DH hug2.gif , adult DD lips.gif & 7 yo DS guitar.gif . 2 GSDs, 6 rescue kitties, 4 birds & a gerbil.
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#72 of 78 Old 07-08-2004, 11:34 AM
 
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:Puke

Gross!!

Anna Banana

Anna Banana ~5 year old daughter ~3 year old son one angel baby and expecting July 2010
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#73 of 78 Old 07-08-2004, 08:30 PM
 
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I just wanted to second Tree Swallows story with my own. DS noticed the difference last year (5yo) - he asked me one day on the way home why two of his friends (twins) were born with "round penises" (circ'd) and some were born with "long penises" like him........

when I told him some parents had the end of their sons' penis cut off when they were born - he gave me a look like this: : - first he thought I was kidding, then he said "thanks for not doing that" and he hasn't talked about it since. He didn't seem at all upset by the fact that he was different than his friends - just curious. He was actually more shocked when he found out I didn't have a penis "how do you pee????"
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#74 of 78 Old 07-08-2004, 09:47 PM
 
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I hope that poeple are still reading this. I have shared in a previous thread that I am a nursing student and while I was watching a baby with the nurses finger in its mouth scream through a circ we were told certain facts about circs like: 50% of males in US are circed, only 15% in the world are circed. 90% of male babies are circed on the east coast while only 20% on the west coast. non circed babies are becoming the norm. Also I was talking to a friend about circing and they say that they do it for religious reasons and they never go to church. I told him what it was like to watch a baby get circed and he said that it's in the bible so it is a sin not to circ. AHHHHHGGGGGGGHHHHH! I wanted to say that if he plans on following the bible so closely his wife shouldn't cut her hair and he should have eaten those pork chops for dinner. I am religious but hey...
later
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#75 of 78 Old 09-02-2004, 10:04 AM
 
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Congrats on baby Jackson! How about an update? I'm sure other mamas would love to read how your DH was convinced, to help them talk to their own DHs....

(I really hope it turned out the way you wanted it to!)
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#76 of 78 Old 09-03-2004, 01:35 PM
 
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I too, was wondering how it turned out for Caroline since the baby has arrived. Hopefully, she convinced her dh...

I know I'm finding this thread late, but I thought I'd put in my two cents:

I never thought much about it, just sort of assumed it was what you do to a boy. But then when I started realizing I wanted a homebirth, and not only that, but an UNassisted homebirth, I inevitably was lead to info regarding circumcision. The first time I brought it up to dh, about a month after we found out we were having a boy, it was a very tense discussion with him adamant about circing (Dh is circed). I didn't push it - in fact, I told him that I wasn't going to fight tooth and nail, and that ultimately I would defer to his wishes, BUT I said that I really felt uneducated about it and thought we should really do our homework first and have a darn GOOD reason for doing it before we just blindly did it. And I said I didn't think "to look like Daddy" was truly a good enough reason.

I then read for about two months on the topic and was horrified at what I learned. But here was the kicker: I found a website that showed all of the variations in the look of adult males circumsized penises, and it explained how ALL of these variations (most of which I had seen in my single days) were actually due to circumcision, and NOT how a penis is supposed to look. This just blew my mind! All of this time thinking back on the penises I had known, and thinking they were God's variations, when NO, actually they were all due to circ injuries!

So, then one day while laying in bed after sex, I casually said to my dh, "Did you know that your penis looks like this because it was circumsized?" And I pointed out two characteristics he had. Well, he was quite shocked! I then read aloud to him a few things I had come across, and then gave him one article to read against circing written by an MD. It mentioned that penises are usually longer and more sensitive when intact. Well, that was it. A few days ago, he told me we didn't have to circ our boy and that he was really ok with it! I am so happy! I think the part of him feeling he may have missed out by being circed was what got him.

HTH!
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#77 of 78 Old 09-03-2004, 01:58 PM
 
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Yay, Stacy!

We left our new little boy intact; our first is circd and we regret it. I am so happy we informed ourselves!
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#78 of 78 Old 09-03-2004, 02:42 PM
 
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Wow, Stacy, way to go!

I think I probably said this before, but to me it comes down to the fact that it is not my body to do with what I like, yk? I mean, yes, we as parents sometimes have to make decisions to do certain things to our children's bodies in order to protect them from harm or illness or whatever, but to cut off a part of a baby's body in order to prevent an extremely rare form of cancer, say, is like cutting off baby girls' breasts to prevent future breast cancer. And we know how common breast cancer is. But the reason we don't is because our society recognizes the breasts as having a function (at the very least providing visual pleasure to men.) Whereas most people have NO idea that the foreskin has a function -- they just assume that it's an extra piece of useless skin.

In any case, even it it was just a piece of useless skin, I wouldn't cut it off anymore than I would cut my children's earlobes off. Because it comes right back down to the fact that it's not my body, so I don't have the right to make the decision for my child to alter it permanently unless it is obviously malformed or diseased, and that is not the case with a healthy foreskin.
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