I was really blown away and disappointed by my family with the whole experience. This time around, we live 800 miles away from our entire family and told everyone that we want at least a week or two as a family before having any visitors, and when they come to visit, they'll be staying in a hotel, not our small place. Everybody has been very accepting and understanding to this request, so we'll see how it goes this time.
I just got back from my 38-week appointment with the midwife. Nothing new to report. Everything with the baby is great. Whenever he decides it's time, we're ready. I'm still content being pregnant, so I'm not in a rush to have him yet, but I'm sure that will change as I get closer to the due date.
Okay, off to start typing for work. Hope this week is filled with lots more babies being born!
Mama to ds 11, ds 7, dd 5, dd 2, and dd born on 6/17/12!
I've got my mom, who lives 20 minutes away but refuses to drive herself into the big scary city.
Then there's Jo's mom, who lives in the Dallas-Forth Worth area. She'll be up to visit at the end of Sept. but has told no one in her life back in TX that she's going to be a grandmother. May I please invoke my favorite smilie? My sister lives near Detroit, MI and will come to visit at the end of Sept and stay with my mom. My friend Sieglinde organized the post-baby food train (thanks for sharing the idea, sistermama Sarah). I guess I've got it made with my school community who believes in the baby moon and will disturb only to drop off food or at my request. Our friend Becky wants to come over and hold the baby, but she will be content to distract the cats, too (something I think is probably going to be very necessary). We'll see how it turns out.
Chiro appt in an hour
Sprout's really wiggly this morning. I've been talking to her/him about how *our* midwife is going to be on call/working the birth center tomorrow and that would just be the BEST TIME to show up, since she's been taking care of us for 6 months. Hoping that the chiro care will encourage her/him to find just the right position and decide there's no time like the present. cross fingers!!
This new smilie is really cute: 2
It is gloriously beautiful here, 60s, no humidity, pure blue sky. This is why I love fall. Add the colorful, crunchy leaves in a month and I will be in heaven. (With a new baby too! phew!)
Greetings from sydney too
And she wonders why we don't call her....
Originally Posted by Caroline248
... my MIL didn't tell anyone she WAS a grandma for THREE YEARS!!! ... introduced me as her son's "friend" ... hadn't gotten around to telling anyone we were married. ... And she wonders why we don't call her....
As for castor oil, I do not believe that it can cause the baby to pass meconium, but now that I have tried to take it, I can't recommend the experience. It was foul. If I were going to try again I would chase it with something really acidic - orange juice or lemonade or something, to get it out of my mouth. The stuff I bought had no taste or odor, but the texture was nauseating. I lost some breakfast after (and along with) the second mouthful I tried to choke down and I just gave up and poured the rest of it down the sink. I can't quite force myself to try again although I have 2oz left in the little bottle.
Originally Posted by Caroline248
Jen, my MIL didn't tell anyone she WAS a grandma for THREE YEARS!!!
"I'm a diva, not a Grandma", she said.
So her 4 year old grandson calls her "Diva", just as natural as can be. It's hilarious to have to say to him, "Did you have fun visiting Diva today?" and stuff like that.
It's weird because she used to be the Queen of all Earth hippy mamas back in the day.
Donny started Kindergarten today and was very teary eyed when I left him! It took all the strength I had not to burst into tears too!
The teacher spent 5 minutes telling me how he was the youngest one in the class and maybe we should wait! Now i'm a bit freaked. My husband is going to stop in and talk to her after school.
Then the teacher
Jen, have you thought about massaging the pressure points in your lower legs and feet to stimulate labor? I was thinking of trying that if I went overdue.
Congratulations, HeatherB! Welcome to the world baby Iain!
Shannon, its great to see you! Congrats on that sticky little one inside you, I am very excited to hear all about your journey.
I also think visitors after birth is a very personal decision, but I'll add my experience. nak... briefly, we are limiting to short visits and only one or two a day, three if i'm up to it. no out of towners for at least a week and is actually going to be 2 weeks which i am happy about. i think much of this working out has hinged greatly on my dh, he took off work for a week, (just went back today, 9 days pp) and did EVERYTHING. i just started doing a few chores over the last few days. i think it means everything in not over-doing it, my energy has been quite good and emotionally i have been so together, where i can see too much stimulation causing me to fall apart. of course i have no other children, i can see that being a whole different thing.
we had our first mini outing yesterday, it was nice. we went to our neighbor's house, a minute drive (we usually walk, its very close) but we got to have a little car riding experience. we spent about an hour there, nessa slept through the whole thing, but it was a good intro for me, a nice slow transition.
Had our 1 week check yesterday too, mw came and said everything looks great. Nessa lost 9 oz at 3 days and is now back to her birth weight (7#), so all is well. She seems to like nursing in short spurts, so I am trying to be conscious that she gets enough hind milk.
Anyhoo, hope more babies are on their way at this moment! Especially that little Sprout! And Baby Blue! Happy Tuesday, Mamas!
Mama to DD 8 and EDD 5/21/13
Mama to DD 8 and EDD 5/21/13
Ack. Is there life beyond feedings, diapers and the occasional blessed nap??? I have an entire futon piled high with clean laundry, some at the foot of our bed, and Nicolas has been playing Nintendo game cube non stop for 2 weeks... My milk production was great, now I'm struggling to stay ahead of the hungry birds. McKenna finally figured out her latch 2 days ago, is finally back to birth weight, and William is now waking every hour (or just staying awake straight through 2 or 3 feedings). I'm still trying to pump for McKenna to make sure she's feeding enough, but William is taking all the milk! I want Anna's supply! Did I mention I'm FRIGGIN' TIRED??? haha
I had to forego laundry and time with Nicolas and naps and pumping in order to get on here and post, but darn it, it has been way too long! =O) I miss you all.
Congrats to Heatherb and Melanie!!! That little Iain is adorable, as is his big brother. How do you pronounce Iain? And Arowen? Is it like Ian, and Arwen?
Beautiful pics, Anna.
Caroline, Nicolas and I didn't get into our nursing groove for 6 weeks!!! He had the teensiest little mouth, and I had giant, flat nipples. I didn't even have letdown until 2 weeks, after spending 2 hours with a lactation consultant who sent me out to get a double electric breast pump. The pump gave me my first letdown. I didn't even know that it hadn't been working right, you know? And no wonder my nipples were so sore; he had been working hard on the NIPPLES, not the areola. ouch. McKenna has had similar problems, but at least I know better now and at least my nipples aren't flat anymore.
They turned 2 weeks old today. Woo hoo!
Oh, someone mentioned pp bleeding... YES, me too! I was amazed that my bleeding had stopped after just a few days, then I got bronchitis or something and coughed violently for a week, and immediately after I started coughing the bleeding started up again full force. Now it's come and gone twice since then. Grrrr. I have at least graduated to a thin little mini pad.
OK, I have to go pump before the munchkins wake up again. Phooey on the laundry; if I get a chance after pumping, I'm dashing back to bed. In fact, I think I'll just lie down right here on top of all this laundry; the dog is...
I also found the homeopathic remedy I was looking for at Whole Foods (my co-op didn't carry it) and so am giving that a shot today.
Glad (?) to hear that I'm not the only one with a MIL with a strange reaction to grandmotherhood... I don't understand it but maybe I'm not meant to!
Savannah - at least the laundry is CLEAN! That's impressive!
Vicki the wise woman herbal suggests mixing the castor oil with orange juice and ... whiskey? (no kidding!) I hate the feeling of not being able to stomach something that might be helpful, I have the same reaction to slippery elm now which helped me so much with my heartburn, but it made me throw up once in my first tri... since then, no go. Just the smell of it sends me around the bend.
Well, I am going to see what my eBay bids are doing, take another dose of my remedy and then take the nap my DC prescribed me
take care - j
|It is gloriously beautiful here, 60s, no humidity, pure blue sky. This is why I love fall. Add the colorful, crunchy leaves in a month and I will be in heaven.|
Jen I hope the chiro works for you and we here about Sprout's arrival soon!
I am so stressed out about being out of my house AGAIN. They are estimating that it won't be back on again till Saturday. So please send electric thoughts my way! I may be the only one hoping I DON'T go into labor! I want to have this baby at my house, not someone elses!!!
Other visitors have mostly sucked! They are all from out of town, driving at least 3 hours so they feel the need to stay for hours to make the trip worthwhile. I get anxious about getting Mielle well fed before they arrive, so she will be a cute little angel. I have to get up out of bed, get dressed and be interactive with my "guests". No one has demanded these things of me... it's just the way I am. I put too much pressure on myself, and don't set enough limits.
The best, and smoothest moments with Mielle are when I am completely relaxed, basically naked and totally tuned in to her. We connect and I know what she needs. Those moments are priceless and more valuable to me than any visitors. In retrospect i would handle the company differently.
Last night when Mielle was napping, I took a long hot shower with Jerome while my mom watched her. It was so wonderful to connect with Jerome.. to simply touch each other and be relaxed. I felt so calm afterwards, truly heavenly to return to my daughter and snuggle her up.
Jen, I am so glad the chiro visit went well, I hope you are able to rest well before your little sprout arrives! Take good care of yourself. And, yes the weather has been heavenly hasn't it!
Savannah, Hang in there mama! Let that laundry lie, take care of yourself!I can't imagine how hard this must be with two little ones..... I must admit I am very grateful that it turned out I had just one little one.
Speaking of the little one, I hear squacks coming from downstairs, must run!
Hugs to all, sorry I couldn't catch up with you all. Know that I am reading and thinking of you all!
Also, from midwife Gloria Lemay:
Inducing with castor oil is not without hazard. The action of this harsh substance is that once swallowed the castor oil is hydrolized by intestinal lipases to recinoleic acid, which stimulates intestinal secretion, decreases glucose absorption, and increases intestinal motility. My question to a midwife who says castor oil is not absorbed is "Would you please provide me with references for that statement?" I worry about women taking castor oil because they also give their babies castor oil as it passes through the gut. This means the baby may pass meconium, too. If the midwife always transports for meconium in the amniotic fluid, this could cost the woman her planned homebirth and lead to aggressive suctioning of the newborn.
When a woman is hurried into the birth process in any way (membrane stripping, cohosh tinctures/teas, nipple stimulation, castor oil, etc.), the flow of the birth will be disturbed. One of my concerns about home inductions is that the birth that is stimulated by outside forces can result in erratic birth processes that stop and start and are difficult to complete.
The risk/benefit rationale of any type of induction must be carefully weighed. The old maxim "First, do no harm" should guide any decision to meddle with Mother Nature's plan for birth. Gail Hart, a respected midwife from Portland, Oregon, says to think of the all the factors that begin a birth naturally as a combination lock. Just as with a combination lock you need to have all the numbers lined up in exactly the right order for the lock to release, so does a woman/baby combination have to have all their "numbers" lined up perfectly for a smooth, flowing birth to ensue. We do not know what all these factors are, and that is why inductions of any kind are so fraught with poor outcomes for the mamatoto. Being patient is the midwife's best birth tool.
Caroline- at your MIL. I wouldn't go out of my way to talk to her much either. Much like my step-mother, we didn't even bother to tell her about Radish. She's shown no real interest in Tori & Jack (hasn't even seen Jack) and she lives about 30 minutes away which is nothing here in Houston. She'll drive to Dallas to see my step-brother's children... 4+ hours away but not us. My father before he passed away, loved her children and (then the only) grandchild as his own. I know he's rolling over in his grave right now. Yeah, the warranty plan we got with Sears included $150 food replacement. Not as much as we have out there but at least it's something.
Jen- great appointment. Hope the accupuncture works. I'm so jealous... 60 degree weather... it's in the mid-ninties with high 60% humidity. Yuck hot, yuck hot!
Sarah- ugh how awful to lose that huge tree. You weren't kidding when you said HUGE. Hoping your power is back soon and your wee one stays PUT until you are home again.
Sending ~*~*~*~ STAY PUT BABY VIBES!! ~*~*~*~
Anna- great supply! I'm jealous that you are able to pump that much after nursing. I usually only got that much when I hadn't nursed yet.
I had an awesome supply with Tori, not so much with Jack. Don't get me wrong, Jack regained all his 'lost' birth weight and almost 1+ pounds within the two weeks after birth but I never was able to pump much, not that he would take it!! : I'm planning on really working it for Radish. I didn't with Jack and regret it now. I think that's part of the reason he weaned so quickly when I got pregnant. My okay supply disappeared completely.
Well, David just left for the next 5 days. He'll be back Sunday. My EDD is Monday. :LOL I'm hoping to go "late" then. :LOL Luckily it isn't a busy training weekend for him so if he needs to leave and come home, it shouldn't be a problem at all.
Well I finally got around to finishing up my Blessing Bracelet with the beads that I received. I took a couple of pictures. The only way I could get the colors to show up, it was slightly blurry. : I ended up making an anklet. Between the several beads that a couple of friends sent (the cobalt blue ones) and using the silver spacers, it was too long to be a bracelet but fits perfect as an anklet. I have a charm that's a little baby bootie that I'm going to add but I need to pick up a jump ring to put it on, forget to get one at the bead shop. Anyways, here's my
Blessing Anklet. Thank you to everyone that sent me a bead, I'll cherish it always. I'll post the pic on the bead thread too.
I've also heard that besides making you horribly sick, castor oil can cause the baby to pass the meconium.
My mw told me to limit visitors to one person per day. She told me to put the person to work, and she told me to keep EVERYONE except DH (who will be home the first three weeks! yay!), and herself away for the first 3 to 4 days, minimum.
This appeals to me very much. First off, in the first few days to a week, we won't need a lot of help around the house, and I really want time to rest and bond with DH and the kid.
Also, I want to get something of a grip on breastfeeding before I let anyone in the house. BFing is an extremely high priority for me, and I feel like if I'm having trouble, I don't want mil & fil around, and I really don't want my mother around, as my mother is kinda anti-BFing, believe it or not.
Okay, so I told my mom, mil and fil all this. They're basically ignoring me. The best was yesterday, I got the one-two-punch. We went to mil's house for a BBQ, and every time I went to the bathroom (which was often), mil and fil cornered dh and demanded to see the kid within a day of his/her birth. Dh mumbled something like "after three days," which I gently corrected after exiting the bathroom, saying, "when I'm ready." So as we're leaving, I kid you not, FIL offered to give us his lightly used 2000 Cadillac STS. Um, we have a perfectly fine car, but it's not like we wanted to say no, so what the heck, we said, "sure, wow, thanks." Two minutes later MIL was badgering about when she would get to see the baby.
Yep, they tried to bribe us with a car. I mean, we're talking about the difference of a few days, for crying out loud! This is beyond nuts.
So I sat down one on one with MIL and explained to her my postpartum needs for bonding and BFing, and how I can't give her a specific timeframe because I've NEVER HAD A FLIPPING BABY BEFORE, get it? I don't know how long it will be until I am ready for visitors, get it? She made noises about how she wouldn't see the kid until it was 6 weeks old, while my mother would see the kid right away, and I said (for the four thousanth time), no, ma'am, no one will be there right away. Really. We're not kidding. And there's a good chance mil will see the kid within a week of his/her birth, and that will have to be good enough.
It gets better.
That evening, my mother came over and went through my kitchen describing in detail all the cleaning and cooking she's going to be doing after the baby is born. As she puts it, "all dishes will be washed the minute I'm done with them," and "she'll bring me meals on trays into the bedroom."
Sigh. I think this is a housework bribe. She also wants to see the kid right away. In fact, there's an obvious and stressful competition between mil and my mom as to who will be allowed in "first."
Maybe now is the time to move to Canada.
Don't get me wrong. I know many new mothers would love to have lots of housework and nice cars thrown at them. It's just that I feel like they're putting a lot of pressure on me.
I am now seriously considering holding off telling anyone the baby is born until it's about 3-4 days old. This is my mw's suggestion, and I'm starting to think it's a good one. I'd have to basically lie, since all these people are local. They're always inventing excuses to come over, they get freaked out if they don't hear from me every few days, etc.. I have this vision of holding the newborn in my arms and telling my mother over the phone that I haven't gone into labor yet...
Sorry for the long post. It looks like we're all having visitor issues.
Samantha and Christi, all you'd need to do is move north!... but really we usually have weather closer to what you're having right now, Samantha, this is just a bit of a lull before another warm streak, I think. But I'm enjoying it!
Sarah your tree pictures were gut-wrenching. I'm so sorry and ESPECIALLY sorry about the cost - does homeowner's cover some or all of that, I hope? I'm hoping that Ivan misses you or piddles out before making landfall.
Now I'm hungry for oatmeal cookies *grumble*
in search of a snack,
I don't know, I never limited the grandparents visits, or my siblings....I found they were more help, especially when I already had children at home. Would they agree to a short visit? I know if my sister told me I couldn't visit, I would be upset too...so I can see where they are coming from. Just hold your own and remember to do what is best for you and the baby, but it also may not be so bad to get some help!!
Well, I have about a zillion things that need to get done before tomorrow morning. I will post about David once I get the chance.
I will be waiting for the details!!!
Good for you for standing your ground. Often new mothers are made to feel like they have some kind of social duty to share the baby, and the pressure people put on them to do so is in my mind incredibly selfish and inconsiderate. To be fair, I know that most people don't understand why, but it shoudn't matter. The compassionate and mature thing to do is respect others' boundaries even if they're not our own.
And Caroline, I know you don't mean to speak for everyone , but it *is* a big deal to me. Like I said in another post, I am deeply sensitive to others' energy when I'm giving birth and postpartum, and I simply do not have the emotional resources to interact with anyone other than the people I am very most intimate with. Recognizing that and protecting it is for me much more important than fulfilling others' desires to see the baby immediately.
Samantha, your anklet is gorgeous!
Best birth wishes for tomorrow, Heather!
OK, it took me a week but I finally got my pictures uploaded from our first days of cloth diapering. I was impressed with myself figuring out the prefolds... William and McKenna are 7 and 8 days old in the pics...
As for my visitor issues, I do have the answering machine on all the time...
As for people helping, yeah, that's great, but my mom and BFing... she's, like, against it. Weird but true. And I don't want to be around that kind of energy when the kid and I are first learning how to work with each other. To be perfectly honest, I'm more scared of BFing & other infant care things than I am of labor and delivery.
My mom... she kind of takes over, and if you challenge her, she takes off.
Oy, the kid is SUPER squirmy today. Feels like he/she is getting huge..
Originally Posted by blueviolet
"And Caroline, I know you don't mean to speak for everyone , but it *is* a big deal to me. Like I said in another post, I am deeply sensitive to others' energy when I'm giving birth and postpartum, and I simply do not have the emotional resources to interact with anyone other than the people I am very most intimate with. Recognizing that and protecting it is for me much more important than fulfilling others' desires to see the baby immediately.
I wasn't trying to speak for everyone...I was just saying how much easier it made things for me. Sorry if it came across that way...
Heather, that really stinks that your mom wouldn't be more of a help. I just can't imagine doing it without my mom...she really keeps the sanity for us! Why would she ba against breastfeeding? That is most definatly not helpful for you. I hope everything works out for you...
Originally Posted by allibabble
I've really enjoyed reading everyone's posts on this group, and am sad that I didn't find it earlier on...at this point, I relate to where everyone is, but there's no way that I'm "part of the group." Totally understandable...the "mainstream" group I'm in is pretty tight, and at this point, it's just odd to have someone else be part of the "in crowd." (but ma! I wanna be one of the cool kids!)
Allison...you can join us "cool kids"!! I hope we don't seem like we are unwelcoming..but I guess becasue most of us have been "together" since conception, it makes it tough!! Jump in and join, we will all move on together to the Sept moms 04 thread in "Life with a Babe".
PM me your email address and I will send you the yahoo group link as well..once we get kicked out of the "I"m pregnant" board we can keep up there too...
I'm dreading the whole visitors thing myself. My mother in law and I don't get along well at the best of times and my mother and I don't get along so well either. I wish I could avoid having them visit for awhile but sadly i don't think that's an option. Maybe I should have my friend stick around to tell them to leave...she'd enjoy that. My mom lives 6 hours away and is planning to come up for a week. I'm not sure what she's going to be doing all that time, she'll be staying at the in laws and probably won't like it when I say she can only come over for a little while. Sadly we don't have anyone to bring us food, and I don't like my mom's cooking and asking the mother in law is not an option. I'm weird about laundry and don't trust either one of them to wash things for me the way I want them washed. I'm strange, what can I say?
I think I'll go play with the kitten or something, she amuses me at least.
Originally Posted by adventuregirl
I forgot to mention that we're doing the meal train too, that has been so fabulous, no cooking has been required other than breakfast and heating things up. I highly, highly recommend this to everyone.
Originally Posted by StacyL
What's the meal train?
We went for a 3-mile walk! Phew!
Heather J, good luck tomorrow, I'll be thinking of you.
HeatherH I know how you feel about the mom and bf'ing thing, my mom fed both my sister and me formula and although she's not anti-bf'ing, she doesn't understand much about it at all, and I don't have the energy to educate her about it. I might lend her a book I have. I can understand not wanting those vibes around when you're trying to learn something that can be tricky.
Good luck with your living room, lazuli. One thing at a time. Perhaps the couch first?
Off to relax, talk to Sprout more about showing up tomorrow, etc...
Originally Posted by msrog
Congrats to Heatherb and Melanie!!! That little Iain is adorable, as is his big brother. How do you pronounce Iain? And Arowen? Is it like Ian, and Arwen?
HeatherB ~ mama to 3 wonderful boys: 03/02; 09/04; 09/07 - and Eliana, 11/13/10!
Founder of Houston Birth Alternatives: Be Informed, Encouraged, Supported birth support group and aspiring midwife.
Maybe I should have added a sling to my wish list! =O) At least there is my work "after babies" shower; I could request one or two slings from them...
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