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#1 of 11 Old 09-12-2004, 09:29 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm a little miffed, since I've now given birth three times, and never once has dh gotten me flowers, or anything else, for that matter! Am I mistaken in expecting something???

Last week, 4 days pp, he had to go to the PO for something, and brought dd along, and I asked him to stop in the chocolatier which is right next to the PO and get her a little treat. He did. Did it occur to him to bring his wife home some chocolate, since he was there anyway? It did not.

Is there a book or something, on husband etiquette, to give the man a clue?
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#2 of 11 Old 09-12-2004, 10:17 AM
 
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I did, but not from my dh.

First time - from MY grandma.
Second time - from MIL. *LOL*

although once in a while he'll bring me home a mountain dew code black (dark purple, blue foam, tastes like blueberry/grape! Holy caffeine kick!)
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#3 of 11 Old 09-12-2004, 10:27 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I got nada from the MIL, except questions about when we were going to see a Dr. to follow up on the hb. Heh.

Got flowers from dh's BOSS, though!!!
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#4 of 11 Old 09-12-2004, 11:01 AM
 
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With my first three kids, I got a new car each time! IT really wasn't a "present" for me, we had just needed cars at the time. This time I didn't get anything and I mentioned it to DH the other day. He said there was no way I was getting a new car. Although we are growing out of the minivan.....One more baby and I WILL be getting a new car again!!


I did get a ton of flowers, and some really great fruit baskets. But nothing from DH...

Caroline
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#5 of 11 Old 09-12-2004, 11:36 AM
 
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I got flowers both times... from my mom. But not DH. With DD, one of my mom's friends sent roses and her office sent flowers. But no one else has ever given me anything. When DS was born, my mom brought the flowers to the house instead of the hospital.

DH knows better than to go into a chocolate shop and NOT bring me something. :LOL He's usually pretty good about bringing me a treat when he gots to Starbucks to get coffee beans (his addiction ). Though he can't get it through his head that I don't like danishes (donuts YES especially cake donuts, danishes NO!), not a huge carrot cake fan and don't like cherry.

I've never gotten anything from him on Mother's Day either. This year I did get a Mother's Bracelet... because I ordered and bought it myself!! After dropping blatant hints for several months. He couldn't REMEMBER to give it to me on the day. It just sat in his desk ddrawer and then I had to ask for it FOUR days later because I refused to beg for it on Mother's Day.

He's one of those with good intentions but bad follow through. :eyeroll Can't tell you how many times I've found a small bag with a card inside it a couple of weeks AFTER an event.

I don't expect to be getting anything this time either. Not even sure I'll be getting flowers. She's going to be out of town most of this next week... so she might miss the birth all together.

DH use to get me flowers, but apparently since my mom always gets me flowers (my birthday and with the births) he doesn't bother anymore, feels like he gets upstaged by MIL.
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#6 of 11 Old 09-12-2004, 01:08 PM
 
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No, I don't get gifts from my husband. For anything, even my birthday! But this is partly because I am SO picky about my possessions and we don't have money to waste on things I won't like. He does shower me with lots of love, though, and is a constant source of strength and calm and support. Having grown up with an angry, cold father, I feel like I don't need anything else to be thankful for (as far as my husband goes.)

I do have women friends and family who nurture me with gifts, and they always seem to know exactly what I would love.
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#7 of 11 Old 09-12-2004, 01:22 PM
 
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my dh has never given me anything when I had a baby. It never even occured to me that husbands give gifts to the moms until I watched a baby story! I saw a man who gave his wife a beautiful diamond tennis bracelet and they talked about the other high-cost gifts he'd given the last two times she'd had a baby. We don't have enough for that-especially when a baby is born!!

I think flowers are a nice gift but I've never expected it. He's pretty good about getting me something when he's out. Has a hard time remembering my b-day, mother's day, valentines........*sigh* He means well, though!
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#8 of 11 Old 09-13-2004, 07:19 AM
 
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I have stopped the whole expecting certain gifts only to then get mad on special occasions when DH didn't step up to the plate. I figured how is he supposed to know what my gift giving policies and expectations are.

My solution...if I know I really need a little something on certain occasions I give him a heads up warning in enough advanced time that I can pretend I never said anything and still enjoy the gift.

For example, about a month before our wedding i got his full attention and told him that it would be really nice....beyond wonderful if I received flowers the morning of our wedding. We even have code words so that he will listen up if I am dropping Christmas hints or anything.

Believe me there are no diamond tennis bracelets involved here. I am just sick of hearing my mother-in -law complain EVERY special occasion about what her DH didn't do. I have found my method to work so well and I think he truly appreciates the help too.

PS I am due at the end of the month and I told him at about 6 months that a little fun gift/token would be really appreciated when I had the baby
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#9 of 11 Old 09-13-2004, 01:05 PM
 
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No, but I did get a pretty glass water jug with a spigot because my midwife thought I looked dehydrated when she came for the first home visit.
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#10 of 11 Old 09-13-2004, 05:14 PM
 
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You know, until you mentioned it, I had forgotten... But yes, dh did bring me flowers! In fact, I've noticed he seems to be really enamored (turned on, rather? haha) by the sight of his wife nurturing little babies. He is more loving and attentive and smoochy now than in the past 5 years! Man, I need to have babies more often! I read in the book Fascinating Womanhood (highly recommend it!!!) that seeing a woman in all her feminine glory (having baby, nursing baby, cooing to baby, etc.) really accentuates the differences between man and woman, and makes the hubby feel exceptionally masculine. And nothing makes a man more happy than feeling exceptionally masculine!!!

I also got flowers this time from one of my sisters, a friend of the family, and from my in-laws. Every other gift conceivable from the other people in my life! Just got a package delivered from my mom 30 minutes ago from UPS, haven't even opened it yet...
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#11 of 11 Old 09-13-2004, 06:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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my dh redeemed himself today by a huuuge box of chocolates, which i'm nibbling very sparingly, since dd was very sensitive to it when she was a nursling.

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