I just noticed that you posted your birth story. I loved it. I love stories like yours, full of honesty. Im sorry the labor was so hard on you, but Im sure you are really proud of yourself and your daughter is absolutely beautiful.
Anna went in to the doctor today because her bilirubin is still 17 at 3 weeks old, and she hasn't had a bowel movement in 4 days. We found out that she hasn't gained any weight since she was 11 days old.
So, she's now on that expensive, crappy Nutrimigeon formula and I'm pumping like a demon. Dave is totally pissed that she's on formula, because it costs so much. This entire year it's felt like we have a big black hole attached to the end of our bank account. We just manage to stay above water, barely, all the time lately.
I'm exhausted and fighting depression that I don't know whether or not I should classify as PPD. I think I just may actually be situationally depressed.
I can totally empathize with you, Anna, when you say you feel rage when you wake up in the middle of the night. I haven't actually slept in my bed since the babe was born and it's starting to really become an issue for me.
Good luck to all, and easy labor vibes to those whose turn has not yet come.
Congrats on the milkies, Jen! Here's hoping Tristan chubs up nice and round for you.
Linda, incredible, detailed, wonderful birth story! Thanks for taking time to get it down. I agree that it's too bad you had all that pain, but how wonderful that you were able to have your unassisted home birth! And how blissful to feel so empowered and connected to Baby. Your husband sounds terrific, too!
Anna, I also read today in my "Having Twins and More" book that your milk supply decreases with less fluids and calories. Maybe you have been going overboard in getting good stuff in you, so that your body thinks you need more milk?? Maybe you could trick your breasts into putting out less by eating smaller portions or less often and drinking less? Just a thought. I agree with Jen, too bad we can't have some of your abundance over here! =O)
Jen, how do you say, "Got Breastmilk?" in German? Or "Mama's Little Boob Drainer" or something? hee hee hee
So, that's an hour and ten minutes or an hour and twenty minutes per feeding, and she is supposed to be fed every two hours around the clock, counted from the BEGINNING of each feeding, not the end.
In case you aren't following my math, that means that I get less than an hour between feedings.
I'm exhausted, depressed, and pathetic.
tired but on a quest to banish formula from t's life and make my milk come in... somehow...
Linda, your story was so powerful. Thank you for posting it.
Still holding on here. I think this guy knows he is safer inside than out right now. My littlest one woke up vomiting after a week of runny nose. I hope it is just a freak thing and not some virus that is going to last weeks.
My MIL is coming tomorrow. I have mixed feelings about it. She is a great help, but my kids get stressed out in our small house with visitors. She's nice enough to say that even after a 10 hour journey (Rochester NY to San Jose, CA) that she'll head home if it is at all a problem and not a help.
Gotta go, my battery is dying!!
Yay, Jen!!! Hope that milk keeps flowing!
I am so sorry to those of you having feeding and sleep issues. Reading your situations truly leaves me in awe of how strong you are and how much love you have for your little ones.
Linda, thanks for sharing all of the details of your birth story!
Ladies, please tell me...does labor necessarily have to have light contractions that happen for days and then build up? Or, can it just start one day, without the build up?? The reason I ask is because I haven't had any real contractions, just mild cramping and I'm wondering if it's still days/weeks away. I know there's no telling when labor will begin, I guess I'm just getting a little antsy. Dh is on fall break this week and it would be great if we could have the baby soon. Plus, I do not want to go back to work! I know I'm putting way too much thought into this...
Made a pumpkin cheesecake last night, and is it yummy!!!
had another bout of semi-painful/lots of pressure contractions last night. sent brian to give noah a bath and sat on my birth ball in a quiet dim candlelit room and tried to really relax and welcome the baby to come. but NO! oh well, i guess i am getting used to this. i know it isn't even my due date yet so i shouldn't complain but the stopping and starting is really getting to me. this baby is such a jokester!
meredith, it is totally normal to not have any "real" contractions before labor starts. i think especially with a first baby this is true. i hope your baby comes for you this week!
oh chris! i hope that was just a weird fluke and you don't have a stomach bug in your house. poor kiddo!!
linda, thank you so so much for sharing your birth story. it is so cool that you knew just what your body needed to get your little girl out. and your family just sounds so totally content and in love! have you chosen a name yet?
lots of hugs to all the mamas who need them. the first few weeks can be so hard if everything goes right and when there are issues it just gets even harder. i wish you all strength and the knowledge that your babies know how much you love them even when you are feeling angry and at the end of your rope. we've all been there!! 2
oh, i think i've found a way to cope with this looooooooooong early labor- diaper buying. i have enough newborn and small diapers so i've started buying mediums. i told brian i was going to buy one every day until the baby comes. he freaked. so i guess i won't do it every day, but i've got 2 already on the way. one halloween one from www.holdenslanding.com and one chinese take-out one from www.clothetc.com. if you need diapers definitely check out clothetc. her prices are great AND if you put in coupon code MDC you get 10% off. i haven't tried the diapers yet but they look adorable.
better get dressed. we're going for a hike to try to bounce this baby out!
Having nothing before the actual labor is one of the many ways the babes come. It has happened to me and not happened. Who knows what will go on this time. When it happened with my second, the "weirdness" started 2 1/2 days before. I'm also not having much go on, so I'm hoping that it won't be another week away.
Take care everyone!
Breastfeeding is going fine, which is still a relief even seven years after the miserable experience I had with my first. I am engorged and leaking a bit, so decided to try a nursing bra and pads but gave that up fairly quickly, since the confinement and lack of exposure to air brings almost immediate protest from my nipples in the form of pain while nursing.
Still trying to find a satisfactory nighttime diapering system. She’s been leaking through everything. Last night I put a cloth diaper inside a newborn disposable, and put all that inside one of my 3-year-old’s nighttime pull-ups. Seems to have done the trick, but I don’t want to keep using disposables. My mom is bringing me down some vinyl covers (the old-fashioned kind,) so maybe that’ll do the trick. Are the fitteds, like Kissaluvs, very absorbant? If the vinyl pants work, I might end up going that route. (Please don’t suggest wool soakers, I am way too lazy to take care of them. :LOL ) The newborn disposables, by the way, are worthless for holding in poop! We found that out the other day – poop everywhere, all over her umbilical cord, ugh. I think it would have already fallen off by now if not for the fact that we had to get it wet to get the poop off. And when it was wet, boy did it stink! No smell at all before that.
I am just loving having a newborn this time around. I really think it has a lot to do with the birth itself, the fact that the hormonal process was at no point disturbed. But also I think it’s that I don’t have to deal with visitors while being in this open, emotional transitional phase. When I have afterpains, especially, I feel weird. Vulnerable. Sensitive. Having people around somehow intensifies it, and I end up feeling really bad and yucky. So it has been great to be able to recover in privacy, and not have to feel expectations to share my baby when I don’t want to. The relief of it is in itself uplifting, and everybody who calls comments on how “up” I sound. A long ways from my first postpartum in which I was in a deep funk for the first several weeks.
Back to the baby, I am just thrilled at how my mothering instincts have surfaced immediately this time. I don’t mean that I didn’t love my other children as babies, of course I did, but I’ve always found the newborn stage to be a hassle. Having to change diapers and wet or spit-up-on clothing constantly, having to do laundry constantly, having to be ultra careful about handling the baby gently, having to wake up at night to tend to the baby – all of it feels natural and normal and part of the flow to me right now. It’s all good. I have patience. I am calm. I am surprised, actually, at how different it is. And she is the most adorable, dear thing that I can imagine, utterly precious and perfect.
The kids have been something of a trial, not that they are “acting out” but just that they are being their usual fun-loving selves which just happens to involve a lot of noise and action. How great it would be to live in a village where they could go whoop it up outside to their hearts’ content, safely. There is an Ursula K. Leguin short story called “Solitude” I keep thinking about that perfectly describes the village life that I wish we could have. Oh well, it could be worse, and I suppose I would miss them if they weren’t here anyway! They have been wonderful with the baby. They are very sweet and tender with her, and they are thrilled that she is a girl. My 3-year-old daughter refers to her as “my baby, my angel.” Here is a picture of the two of them together: http://home.earthlink.net/~eaglefalc...baby9.22.1.jpg
We haven’t named her yet, though we’ve narrowed it down to a short list. The boys want to name her “Coco” or “Crystal” and my daughter is insistent that we name her “George”. :LOL I am optimistic that since we’re taking our time we will end up with a name that fits her well.
My parents are coming later on today, and I'm dreading their visit! When I talked to my mom on Thursday, she had absolutely no intentions of doing anything to help us out around the house. When I mentioned that I'd put her to work by doing dishes or something, her response was, "Don't you have a dishwasher!?" Sigh! Oh, and she's already started criticizing us about Jackson not sleeping in his crib. Give me strength to get through this visit!
Jackson is doing great! Nursing is going well. Sleeping is going well with him sleeping in 4 hour spurts at night, which I'm sure will not last long. He's a wonderful baby! Alex is also starting to adjust to life as a big brother. He'll even kiss the baby and sit next to me while I hold little Jackson!
Well, Jackson is letting me know that my computer time is up, so have a good weekend everyone!
Mama to ds 11, ds 7, dd 5, dd 2, and dd born on 6/17/12!
MIL wants to take both kids for the weekend again. So they are leaving this afternoon until Monday morning. We were talking about it last night. It's that catch-22, they love to go and we love having the house quiet... but we miss them so much too. They are so great to have around and we aren't going to see them much while I'm in the hospital... someday. We decided to let them go, especially since it looks like we are moving to Austin very soon (within the next month) so it will be a little harder for MIL to see the kids. One of the downsides to the move.
|my daughter is insistent that we name her “George”.|
Awesome birth story.
Ugh, I hate that "start... stop" rountine. It gets so annoying. Is this it??? No not yet... Soon though soon. At least that's what I keep telling myself. :LOL :LOL
|oh, i think i've found a way to cope with this looooooooooong early labor- diaper buying. i have enough newborn and small diapers so i've started buying mediums. i told brian i was going to buy one every day until the baby comes. he freaked.|
Labors been known the just START without any prep-contrax. Most commonly first births. Yum pumpkin cheesecake!! Sounds like it's time to start making pumpkin cookies...
I know its tough but have you tried pumping at the same time you are bottlefeeding/nursing Anna? Pumping and then nursing is actually better. Anna can trigger the milk re-letdown better than the pump so you can get more initial milk from pumping (your initial fullness) and she'll still get enough from the breast. It would also trigger her to get more Hindmilk which is what she needs most right now. It isn't surprising that you are only getting an oz after nursing her 25+ minutes. I rarely was able to pump much after nursing. Also if you tandem (pump & nurse) at the same time it will do a couple of things,
1. saves time
2. Anna's suckle will trigger a better letdown and more milk
3. makes your body think you need to produce more milk because there is a greater demand.
Try to relax (I know I know its so hard). Try to rest and drink lots and lots of fluid.
You are become sleep deprived. What you are feeling is very normal. Try to get a couple of hours of straight sleep. Have your DH give her a bottle and you rest for a couple of hours. If you keep at the pace you are going, you will be start to get sick, it could effect your milk supply and you won't be of ANY use to anyone. You have to get some rest.
Eat OATMEAL. Drink lots of fluids. Rest!!
A for you and a for your mom. Hope the visit is short!!
Let them cup feed her a little bit. You need to take a little bit of a break. About the gentian violet. :LOL I had a friend that fought Thrush for a long time with her DS, she nicknamed him her 'Purple People Eater'. He had the pertetual purple mouth.
I so remember those days when I was like "You are going to work?!?!? Can't you stay for a little while??" I think it was hardest with Tori because he had such a long commune too. He'd be gone for at least 12+ hours each day and that's with GOOD traffic.
Use that SITZ bath!! It makes the booty feel better.
Suggestion for laying Mielle down. Jerome needs to put one of his tshirt that he's worn for a little while down where you lay her. She doesn't smell him anymore when he lays her down. Another suggestion, a hot water bottle or a couple of long rice filled sachets wrapped in a receiving blanket to create a snuggle spot. Warm them up and lay her within them. She's going from a nice smelling (Daddy) warm snuggle to a strange smelling (no Daddy) cooler spot. Wakes them up almost everytime. Right now her sense of smell and temperature are highly tuned.
Tracking food... pretty much start writing down the foods that you've been eating and watch for a reaction. You don't want to have to do the full elimination diet. That's a nightmare and a half. Watch Mielle's reactions after you've eaten something. You should see a bit of a pattern. Everone is different but here's a couple common ones to watch for:
Dairy (milk, Ice Cream, yogurt and cheese) and sometimes Soy too.
Wheat and Corn
Leafy green veggies (spinach, broccoli, brussle sprouts and such)
Acidic foods (orange juice, apple juice, lemons and such)
Those with babies that roll already... that is awesome. Shows those strong muscles. A friends baby rolled over on the scale at the hospital. Freaked the nurses out. :LOL They really weren't excepting that. :LOL Both Tori and Jack rolled over "early", they also preferred to sleep on their tummies. It was a "war" to keep them at least propped on their sides with blanket rolls for the first couple of months. (on their backs wasn't an option if we wanted more than 20 minutes sleep from either of them) And both had really strong neck muscles from birth... held those heads up from day 1. Some babies are like that.
A friend from school and former La Leche League Leader came by this afternoon and helped rebuild my confidence about nursing. She brought her LLL leader handbook that looks to be totally full of tricks of the trade. She told me to knock it the heck off with the regimented feeding and pumping if it feels wrong to me and nurse T when he wants to nurse even if it is all the time. While it still seems odd - funny - wrong - to me that I am a week postpartum today and I don't have the big milk let-down or any kind of leaking, and we would REALLY like to see T have more wet and messy diapers, she was very reassuring to me that I am doing what's best for him and that he is obviously thriving. Yesterday we managed to get through the day without any blue poodle streaks (Anna, I've adopted this phrase, I hope you don't mind, I love it) and only .25 oz of formula when I was at my wit's (and tit's?) end at 4 AM. Jo gave it to him off of her pinky. I have banished the bottle. It compromises his sucking.
T is happy to announce that he now has a belly button instead of an umbilical stump.
We tried out the Maya wrap this morning and he just LOVED it. I took a short walk up and down the street. What a glorious day today, pure blue skies and 70 degrees!
The food train has begun and there is Middle Eastern food waiting for us downstairs, so I guess it's time to eat!
Both Tori and Jack were tummy sleepers on David. Their personal sofabed. :LOL Still are. :LOL
quick note to say Angus joined the family yesterday at 5:26a.m. It was an intense 41/2 hour labour, but it was great to be at home. Nursing has been great from the start.
I love being a mom, and I love my boy!
Hugs to all.
Labor can start either way! Ive only had 1 vaginal birth/labor (with Paityn) and what happened was that one night I woke up with contractions that werent very strong or consistent. I stayed awake for a few hours to see what would happen then got bored and went back to bed. I slept for several more hours without any contractions at all, woke up, went to the bathroom, had bloody show, lost mucous plug, went on about my day and in the late afternoon I finally started having contrax again. By evening I was "in labor", active labor lasted all night and Paityn was born at 8:17 in the morning.
Before that 1st night of contrax I hadnt had ANY at all! No nausea, no diareah, nothing. It was a total surprise. I LOVED the way my labor started and keep hoping it will be that way again. Looks like it will because Im not having much going on!
With Riley I had a scheduled csection for persistent frank breech presentation at 39 weeks and I hadnt had any contractions with him either.
I really like that picture of Willow and the baby. Very sweet. They kindof look alike in it.
Riley told me the other day that if I have a boy he wants to name him Bob or Bubba and if its a girl the name should be Verina. Dont know where he came up with those, but I hope hes not too disappointed if we come up with something different!
I hope you are enjoying a weekend of peace and quiet. Honestly I would kill for a little alone time.
Lucy is doing really well. She is so darling and lovey! I think she is about to really chunk up too, she has been nursing like crazy. I love a chunky breastfed baby!
Send me electricity stay on vibes!!!!!
Last spring, two of my friends and I were all pg with our second babies. So one day, several of us sat down and planned when we'd have showers for everyone. The other friends were due in the summer, and I hosted one of their showers. I told them I wanted to have a shower after the baby was born, in part because we didn't find out the gender, and in part because it's our second and I thought that would be nice. So, one friend said she'd host it and we put it down for early October, but obviously we'd have to set a date after the baby's born. (We did the exact same thing almost two years ago when her second was born, and I hosted the shower.)
Anyhow - so the months go by and I really don't hear anything about a shower for us, though I'm not too surprised. For one, no one will really think about it until the last minute, which is after the baby's here. Secondly, the friend who was going to host occasionally gets less-than-communicative, and we were going through some of that. I had to blame myself for a lack of communication, too, as towards the end of my pregnancy I got very internally focused and forgot to call or visit with people.
I started thinking that perhaps we'd just have a "shower" here - some sort of "Welcome Baby" party is all I want. We had friends get married out of town (on the same day Iain was born!) who sent an invite for an "open house," and I decided I liked that kind of an idea - something casual, easy, and at our home sounded nice. Sure enough, the friend who was supposed to host emailed me and said she wouldn't be able to due to family situations (she's also pg now and her DH is working out of town a lot right now).
So, I've told people maybe we'd just do something here - but now I'm not sure I'm comfortable with the idea. I desperately want to do SOMETHING to commemorate my baby's birth. Sure, gifts are nice, too - I can't deny that! - but the point is to acknowledge and celebrate that this is a special baby and such a wonderful thing that he's here now. KWIM? But how totally out of whack would it be to ask people to come to our house for a party of that sort? I'm having the feeling that the "open house" term is really common in the got-married-out-of-town scenario, and might not be appropriate for this. But is it okay to just say, "Come over for a party to celebrate Iain"?
If anything actually happens, I want it to be before he's all that old. Today is 3 weeks. You can't invite people to something with much less than 2 weeks notice. So he'd have to be 5-6 weeks old minimum. Except the friend who was going to host will be out of town in 5 weeks, and at 6 weeks two other little girls will be having birthdays. I don't want to wait until he's 2 months old. I thought part of the point for guests would be getting to see Iain, but by 2 months old most people will have seen him already. Right?
Anyhow, I'm finding myself looking at the calendar and feeling sick because I don't feel like anything's going to happen. There's some itty bitty chance that someone would actually be planning something, but I find that to be extremely slim. But on the other hand, I don't want to totally go against what people would consider "proper" by doing something myself. I know several families in our church who haven't done anything for second babies, who probably don't feel it's right. I, on the other hand, feel EVERY baby should be celebrated because they're a gift in and of themselves. So all I'm asking for is a celebration of some sort - not a "shower." I don't need silly games and favors and all that fluff. Just people who care about us and Iain coming to see him and thank God that he's here.
Of course, now that I've mentioned to some people that maybe we'll just do something here, I'm afraid everyone's just waiting on me to do something and won't do anything themselves. But will I be breaking every rule of etiquette (and does it matter?) if I do that? But how uncouth is it to say to someone, "I'd really like it if you hosted a shower/party for me!"
Okay, so I just want to go and bawl now... Probably time for bed anyhow (yeah, don't look at the time stamp!). Thanks for letting me vent... Maybe if I vent to DH we can come up with something that will work. I'm just so upset at the idea of *nothing* happening.
HeatherB ~ mama to 3 wonderful boys: 03/02; 09/04; 09/07 - and Eliana, 11/13/10!
Founder of Houston Birth Alternatives: Be Informed, Encouraged, Supported birth support group and aspiring midwife.
Sarah, another hurricane??? I feel for you mama. I hope it bypasses you so you can come chat with us some more. You'll be in my thoughts.
Congratulations Julia on your little boy!!!!!
Linda, Loved the pic of Willow and your new babe. So sweet!!
Heather, I'm sorry for the way your friends are acting and the way it is making you feel. I can truly see what you are saying and feeling. I think it would be totally appropriate to have a little gathering to celebrate Iain! I say call it an "open house" a "birthday party" or whatever you like. If it makes you feel better you could add "no gifts please" or something like that.
I'm sorry this is so rushed. I wanted to jump in with a few thoughts but I need to go- massage in 20 minutes.
Absolutely! A woman I know who had her baby a month ago has been planning all along to do just that. I think it's becoming more common, and I personally think it's just as nice (and appropriate) as having a shower before-hand. I wouldn't care one whit what other people think -- some people are so bound by social convention that they can't see past that to actually *live*, you know? And that's *their* problem that you should feel no need to be responsible for working around. It would be a different matter if what you were planning was inherently offensive or harmful, but celebrating a baby's birth is certainly neither!
Originally Posted by HeatherB
... I desperately want to do SOMETHING to commemorate my baby's birth. ... will I be breaking every rule of etiquette (and does it matter?) if I do that? ... I don't want to wait until he's 2 months old.
what is kind of funny is that etiquette actually frowns on baby showers for second and subsequent children, because showers are for the mother, to welcome her to motherhood and help her with the transition. (no pun intended ). but a welcome baby party - unlike a shower, is not an automatic request for gifts (attending a shower requires bringing a gift). a welcome baby party is exactly what you said you want to have -- a celebration for a particular new, wonderful child. so you can feel comfortable throwing one for your new son!
can't really help you with timing issue, except to say we'll be having our baby's "birthday party" when she's at least 4 or 5 weeks old.
Linda, I love it that your boys want to name the baby Coco!
Jen, great news about the breastfeeding. I am not much of a leaker or squirter either, but Oz is just fine.
Sarah, I can't believe you've got to deal with another hurricane. Sending you electricity vibes.
MIL leaves today, then I'm on my own. She's been lovely in spite of the constant not-so-subtle comments: I feed Oz too much; I'll never get him out of our bed; I shouldn't hold him so much; shouldn't bathe with him, etc. Luckily the hospital "manual" backs me up on all of it,so I just handed it to her to read.
nak, oz gets a little panicky when he loses the nipple. Eats just like his father--like he's starving.
heather we actually were in the exact same position, my friend who had offered to host a shower somehow forgot and we decided to throw ourselves the "anti-baby shower" - a bbq with friends and family, presents optional (but everyone brought something!!).
off to change a diaper (wish it were wet or messy but it just has a little bellybutton ooze on it -anyone have experience with this? I don't like how it smells)
ps congrats julia!