Toddlers and babies - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 9 Old 05-24-2004, 08:52 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Was there someone here who had a November '02 baby as well??? I thought I may have saw someone... but anyhow, for those with babies who will be close to 2 when the new baby arrives...

I was just wondering what everyone is doing to get him/her ready for the new baby. They seem so young to really get it, but you want to include them in the joy, you know? Ds understands pretty much everything you tell him on a basic level, but I'm just trying to get him to understand there's a baby in my belly right now, I guess. I don't think he'll know what it means until the baby's actually here...

What are you doing to get older sibling's prepared?
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#2 of 9 Old 05-24-2004, 11:00 AM
 
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Hi Annette:

That would be me Elijah's bday is 11/20/02. This is the first time I've had kids this close in age, so right now I'm just letting him notice babies and talk about them. I don't think he's going to understand much until a little bit later when I have a belly. Otherwise, I'm not really certain how to prepare him. When my oldest was little, we gave her a doll when her brother was born (anatomically correct) and she would sit in her rocker next to me with her doll and nurse him while I nursed Jake. She was a little bit older though (3 when Jake was born). There WERE jealousy issues despite all this and there probably will be with Elijah, but since he's so articulate, I'm trying to work with him on words for how he feels, like "Oh my, you sure are angry right now" or "Oh, I'm sorry you feel sad". and we have a book of baby faces that have expressions. He likes the Happy one and the Dirty one LOL. I guess we're just playing it by ear, really. Are you doing anything active right now?
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#3 of 9 Old 05-24-2004, 11:31 AM
 
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I've been wondering the same thing...DS is only a little younger (born 12/16/02). So far all I have been really doing is pointing out babies when we see them. We are planning on getting him a doll, but haven't gotten around to it yet. I made a minature sling for him this weekend since he is becoming such a little copy cat, doing everything we do. That way he can carry his "baby" around just like mommy when baby comes.

Though DH and I certainly talk about the baby in front of him, we haven't started trying to tell him anything specific. I'm thinking once he can feel the baby kicking and see how big my belly is getting, we will start telling him about the baby in mommy's tummy being his baby sister/brother.
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#4 of 9 Old 05-25-2004, 08:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We're not doing anything active right now. I was already trying to help him name his emotions, and am expecting jealousy, but I don't think he'll really get it just yet. He thinks kids bigger than him are babies right now. My mom has a new baby book at her house that she reads to him, but that's about it.

It's started to sink in that I'll have 2 kids soon... is 2 really the hardest transition? !
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#5 of 9 Old 05-26-2004, 01:56 AM
 
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That would be me too! My first is 9/21/00; second is 11/8/02; third is expected around 11/4/04. This will be my 2nd time aorund with them about 2 years apart. I have to tell you didn't do anything at this point the first time and we aren't doing anything this time either. They are just too little. I think it's Dr Sear that says the younger they are the later you should tell them. They just don't understand concepts like '9 months from now'. I talk with my 3 1/2 yo about it all the time this time around but not my 18 mo. Even with my 3 1/2 yo, I have to say probably after Halloween. He keeps asking when the baby will come out of my tummy.

When I'm really showing is when when we got into it last time. Showing him babies and talking about how there's one in my tummy. Read stories about older siblings and babies. Both my boys have dolls and strollers. My older son has a sling. One of the biggest things we did was take him to all my midwife appt. It was a lot easier because they were at her house. This time I'm seeing a dr (no midwives for about 100 miles) at his office; it'd be very cramped with two kids. But if possible, take your little one to appts - they can see theme examine your tummy, hear the heart beat (the mw used to let my son use the stethascope), etc. Also bring out your pictures of being pregnant with your 2 yo. Put any pregnancy, birth, newborn, etc pictures in a child friendly album and flip through that with them - alot.

I'm waiting to see how this goes. My 2nd had colic and required a LOT of attention so it was very hard on my older child. Now my little one is much more demanding than my first so . . . this ought to be interesting.
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#6 of 9 Old 05-26-2004, 10:55 AM
 
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Wow thanks for that boobyjuice! I appreciate the ideas a lot. I'm not really talking to Elijah much about it, but later on that will come in handy. We had pictures taken at his birth so since we are doing this one at home, I will make an album out of his birth and share the story with him as we get closer! Thanks again
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#7 of 9 Old 05-26-2004, 03:55 PM
 
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my boys were 21 months apart. Looking back as my youngest (*******) got older, I really realized that Spencer was really young when we added to the family. As a first child, he acted older, and we really treated him as being older. If I had to do anything over again, it would be to make sure and baby the oldest too.

My boys are soooo close, here are some recent tball pictures
tball boys

I wouldn't trade their age spacing for anything. Spencer didn't have any issues with ******* at all. Having said that, I guess that is why it was easier to expect more from him. He had things to do while I was nursing the baby, he had a baby sling, etc. But sadly I look back and think we didn't really enjoy his baby-toddler hood. Maybe that is next to impossible with a newborn and a toddler though.

That is just my advice, to try to spend quality time with the oldest, amidst the chaos try to enjoy what you can!

This next one for us will be a little over three years for my youngest. I'm thinking we will have some issues! He is *such* a mama's baby!!!
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#8 of 9 Old 05-27-2004, 10:54 PM
 
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I'll be in this boat along with you guys. My DS was born 2-2-03...so he'll be about 22 months when the new baby comes a long. He is still very "babyish" but he is gaining some indepence recently. We planned to have our babies close because we wanted them to be friends/playmates. DH and I are spread out in age from my siblings and we thought it would be nicer to be closer. I appreciate the tips. I just tell DS there is a baby in my tummy but he doesn't know what I'm talking about. Sometimes he'll say "baby". I'm really worried that I won't be able to manage my time between the two children well. I want to enjoy each of them and be there for both of them too.
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#9 of 9 Old 05-28-2004, 02:28 AM
 
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We just checked out a video from my midwives (Injoy productions) called "Lizzie and the Baby." It is a natural hospital birth, so different from what I'll be having, but I still found it to be wonderful. Lizzie is 3 and is going to be a big sister.... My 3yo has watched it about 5 times and loves it.

Jesse
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