July 26th Check In - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 24 Old 07-26-2004, 11:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hey Mamas!

For repeat mothers: what is the best advice you have for the moms-to-be regarding pg/delivery/post-partum?

For newbie mothers: what is the best advice you've gotten so far in regard to pg/delivery/post-partum?

For everyone:

Are you going to have a doula or other labor support person at your birth (besides your DP if your dp is attending)?

Have a great week!

Jesse
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#2 of 24 Old 07-27-2004, 12:00 AM
 
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Best advice from a second-timer: Take your time with recovering after your birth. With ds, I didn't even go downstairs for a week after he was born! I know that won't be possible this time with a four-yr-old, but you catch my drift. It's so important to listen to your body and not push yourself too hard. You'll want to do more than you probably should...when you start to feel achy "down there" you know you are overdoing it.

I am going to have my dh, and my two best friends at my home birth. Also, Mom and ds and the two midwife assistants will be here. The only difference between this time and last time will be ds and one of my friends. I'm very excited about the whole thing (aren't we all?). I've told ds that he can be the one to see if the baby is a boy or a girl. I hope that I deliver at a time when he is awake so he can witness the whole thing...he says he wants to see the baby come out.

Have a great week, everyone!

P.S. Does anyone else feel HUGE???
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#3 of 24 Old 07-27-2004, 12:43 AM
 
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Newbie advice from others: I really can't think of anything right now. I have all this advice swimming in my head from all the very mainstream people I know, like, "You HAVE to buy a baby bucket." "You'll quit using cloth diapers in 2 weeks." "If the baby sleeps in your room it will keep DH up and he won't have enough sleep to work." Etc., etc., etc. I'll keep thinking...

It will probably be just me and DH at the birth. I've thought about having a doula, but for one we can't really afford it, and for two I don't think DH would be comfortable with it. I would really like to have one of my friends, but they all live about an hour and fifteen minutes from me, and I am another forty-five minutes from the hospital. I might ask anyway, and I know she'd love to do it! But again, I don't know if DH would be comfortable with that.

I do like the idea of just our family starting out together. I'll just have to buy DH a set of those cards with prompts for what to do for a mama in labor at which stage. Have you seen them? They're great! "Has mom gone to the bathroom in the last two hours? Is she thirsty? Would she like a massage? Does she need to change positions?" Definitely a must for a first-time daddy.

I don't know. We'll see. How's that for a complete answer?
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#4 of 24 Old 07-27-2004, 01:26 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by indiegirl
For repeat mothers: what is the best advice you have for the moms-to-be regarding pg/delivery/post-partum?

For everyone:[/U]
Are you going to have a doula or other labor support person at your birth (besides your DP if your dp is attending)?
Best advice I have:

For those of you having your first: Take the first month to HEAL. I was on a mission when I had Violet to show the world that having a kid didn't have to change me and my active lifestyle. I went to a wedding shower and a birthday party the weekend she was born (she was born on a Friday!). I didn't fully enjoy those first few days--weeks--because of how busy we were. Plus, I didn't heal as quickly. Having a baby changes you, and that isn't a bad thing! OTOH, it is possible to be active and fun with kids. Just let yourself have a babymoon!

For those of you having your second: Get a ton of help that first month! When people ask if they can do anything, have them do laundry and clean your kitchen. Have people take your other child out for playdates and special time. For me, the transition from one to two kids was really difficult. I felt very unsupported and overwhelmed. Try and enlist as much help in the first month as you can. Don't try to be wonderwoman! You already are!

Doula: We had one with my first birth and it was not necessary. I feel supported by my midwives and dh and the doula got in the way the last time.

Yea, I do feel HUGE!

Jesse
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#5 of 24 Old 07-27-2004, 09:30 AM
 
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HI!
The best advice I have for my 8th time around would be that yes, it will take about a good month to recoop, if you have a section, I guess it depends, around that same time frame... cook and prepare meals before you go into labour; hospital moms, make sure you've got everything you really need in your bag ready to go by month 8,lol!
Don't have alot of people visit you at first anyways, people need to understand this is your"babymoon" and you need this time to adjust to being a mom and bonding with your babe!!!

For Everyone:
I will be having my dh to attend the birth, funds are a bit low this year, so, we should just be fine!!
Anyone feel like a house yet??lol I do!!
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#6 of 24 Old 07-27-2004, 11:22 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Attached_Mom_to_7
Anyone feel like a house yet??lol I do!!
I didn't until last night! DH and I went out for dinner, and as we were sitting at the table, he said, "You look really pregnant. Like, not just your tummy, but your face and everything. You're glowing." A couple nights ago he was looking at my naked tummy, and he seemed really worried that my belly button was not going to make it. It's popped out already, and he was really concerned that it won't be able to stretch any further! :
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#7 of 24 Old 07-27-2004, 11:41 AM
 
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Hmm, best advice? I think I would have to second Attatched Mom...have meals prepared before you have the baby. (Or if you have a church group or family, etc. that will rotate making your meals for the first two or three weeks, use them!) I had that with my third baby (my sons preschool class organized it) and it was truely the best thing ever, such a relief to know dinner was already taken care of I'm planning on doubling and freezing meals myself this time, starting in Sept.

Hopefully, I will be able to work out a homebirth and in that case, I'm planning on just my dh and the kids being there. I was thinking I might have my friend "on call" for my two year old, just in case. I need to know my dh will be able to focus on me, IF I need him, lol! And I keep tossing around the idea of a birth photographer, but I'm not sure about that yet.

I thought I wasn't that big, but I took a picture of myself at 24 weeks with each of my pregnancies and now looking at them together, I am by far the biggest with this one! Generally, I start feeling huge in the evening. Like I held everything in all day, and just couldn't do it anymore, lol!
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#8 of 24 Old 07-27-2004, 11:46 AM
 
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Well, when I read the first post in this thread, the very first thing I thought was "take it easy the first week." I wayyyyy... over did it in the beginning and like others it took me longer to heal. Especially those that are planning a homebirth or birthcenter birth where you will be at home with your baby shortly after giving birth, you must force yourself to rest, rest, rest and do nothing else for at least 3-4 days. Even if you feel good enough to get up and around and go out and do things, you won't be feeling so good after an hour or two. We came home 4 hours after dd was born and I did way to much those first few days.

Another good word of advice. Get a frozen bag of peas or corn. It makes a great cold compress for "down there" after giving birth.

My pregnancy: I'm almost 25 weeks. Doing great, but really starting to feel pregnant. I had a 5 hour class last night (my last one of the summer!) and I was getting so achy sitting there all evening. I'm a bit worried, b/c this fall I will have 3 3-hour classes on Tuesdays, so that's a lot of sitting. And in between the last two I have only 20 minutes. Yikes! Um, sleeping isn't going so well these days either. It wasn't a problem that I didn't sleep as well with my first pregnancy b/c I could take 3 hour naps and sleep in 'til 10 in the morning. You can't do that the second time around. I've popped a bit too, but I don't feel huge yet. DH got to feel the baby doing some kick-dancing last night. That was cool! I guess that's about it.

Oh, my baby who has been weaned for the past two months (voluntarily) has started rooting at night when I am rocking her to sleep. I tried to let her nurse and she kind of woke up and giggled at me. She thought it was a very funny thing and did not nurse. Anyone ever have this happen? A lactation consultant suggested that maybe she just senses the upcoming baby/change. Hmmm....

Alisha, Army wife to Nathan , Homeschooling mama to Scheeli (May 2003) , Bronwynn (Nov. 2004) :, Piper (Nov. 2007) , and Wesley (January 2010)
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#9 of 24 Old 07-27-2004, 12:09 PM
 
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My advice for first timers: Take the time to rest and heal!!! (Are you guys noticing a pattern of advice here? Pay attention!) I cleaned my house when I got home from the hospital. Stupid! Rest as long as you can and try to get some help. It was just me, dh, and the baby, and he just couldn't do everything so I did too much. Sometimes my mom would come over and offer to hold the baby so I could get some stuff done! In fact, two days after dd was born, Mom came over, took dd, and asked me to get her something to drink and a footstool!?!?! Don't let these kind of people in to your house. :LOL

Doula: No. I hate people touching me. (Silly reason, huh?) Honestly, I don't even want my midwife there until the baby is about to come out. I'm *this* close to wanting an unassisted childbirth with just dh and I. I just hated having anyone but him with me in labor last time, and I think it'll be even worse this time since I won't want other people around to reassure me I'm doing it right!

I'm really I nice, caring person... promise! I just have always hated having people touch me, and that freaks me out about labor because *everyone* wants to touch you! And I can't exactly put up a "no touching" sign without seeming like a freak.

Amanda, mom to dsd (16), dd (11), dd (8), and ds (born 11/12/11).
 

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#10 of 24 Old 07-27-2004, 12:33 PM
 
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More advice for first timers (since a lot of the big stuff's been mentioned already): Don't be afraid to let the not-so-important stuff go. I freaked out over having everything "organized" and clothes folded and dishes done that I really got overwhelmed. If you don't have a lot of help, then just let some of it go and heal and get to know your new baby. Then there's the old "sleep when baby sleeps", which I knew with ds, but really didn't take seriously because he slept at the weirdest times and for the shortest times. But it really is true. And I can't stress enough the meals in the freezer advice that's already been given. Or have a hefty take out budget set aside for the first few weeks if you don't cook. And menus for places with healthy food on hand.

Most of all, this time truely is SHORT. When you're feeling overwhelmed, it's hard to remember that baby will grow up and you will be pining to have this sweet time together back again. For all the work and time away from dp and craziness, it does have an end, and you will miss it, so enjoy it and cherish it. I look at ds now, and see him talking and walking and learning every day, and him more and more with awe at how much his little brain absorbs. But I still see the baby in him and am sad that that time with HIM is gone. I'm proud of who he's becoming, but am realizing how short their baby and toddlerhood really is. He was a high needs baby and I was going crazy some days to keep up, but wish I'd have just slowed down and enjoyed him.


Yes, I'm huge. Not just feeling huge, I really am huge. We went visiting this weekend and I saw a great aunt that I haven't seen in 4months, and the first thing she said to me was "Oh my, Annette, I didn't think you were that far along". I was like "I'm not really, I'm just really big again". She thought I was due in a week or something. Mind you she's not known for her tact, but that's another story.

No doula here. I'll just have dp and my midwife and a student midwife at my labour, and then another mw will join for the actual birth to help with the baby. I thought originally the student would be a "bonus" as usually it's just one midwife, but it turns out we aren't agreeing on a lot of stuff, so I'm going to have to have a talk with her or with one of the midwives about it if she continues to be so pushy.

s to all
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#11 of 24 Old 07-27-2004, 12:54 PM
 
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Joining a la-leche alike group was crucial for me when my babe was 40 days. Meeting so many moms in the same boat really empowered my motherhood. With those women I learnt about the marvels of the sling, I could stop worring about the watch, I encouraged myself to take a bath with my babe... Many small things that made that time much more enjoyable.

I feel huge, definitively. And I'm starving!
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#12 of 24 Old 07-27-2004, 12:59 PM
 
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About the doula: no dula for me (in fact the doula's character is not even known where I live. And I feel I want the less people posible around me whilst giving birht. And I already feel I'm having two many: Since I'm having a HBAC, there will be a midwife a women ob and possibly a ped.)
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#13 of 24 Old 07-27-2004, 01:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Also--put some maxi pads in the freezer. They feel sooo good those first days.

Jesse
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#14 of 24 Old 07-27-2004, 03:55 PM
 
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well, i guess i'd have to say that the best advice i've gotten so far is from you guys and the other mamas here! of course, i won't know until i'm holding the squirmy little person for real, but it's the advice i'm taking, at least: cosleeping, slinging, cloth diapering, etc. oh yeah, and i plan to take the resting advice! i'm so looking forward to meeting him/her.

and yeah, i'm huge. carrying it all in front, so that i've already reached the point where people look at my belly instead of my face, ha! i'm still really enjoying it, though. -just- starting to be a little more tired than i can keep up with, sleepwise, so trying to think of ways to deal with that. if i only had time to swim, i think i could handle it better. i have a lot of work, much of it freelance (read: unstructured), so it takes a lot of willpower not to get really behind every week. i'm 24 weeks today! 6 lunar months, i guess, but i'm still saying "5 1/2" when people ask, because the whole lunar month counting thing confuses everyone.

glad you guys are here

*jennifer
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#15 of 24 Old 07-27-2004, 06:02 PM
 
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I'm not sure about advice, but I'll agree with Jecaly that I've *learned* the most here at mdc from the other mammas! Reading here is what convinced me to cloth diaper & wear my baby in a sling. I was already convinced on nursing. I'm still not convinced on cosleeping, but we'll work that out when the time comes.

My SO and midwife will be the only ones at the birth, and my midwife agrees to stay as much in the background, or as much involved as I want her to be. She is fine with it being hands off, or helping me as much as I need her. I hope to follow my instincts as much as possible while in the moment. I briefly considered a doula, but when I suggested it to my SO he was a little hurt and thought I was trying to replace him. That was the end of that idea! I really don't think I need one, though.

Monica, mama to Olivia (6)
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#16 of 24 Old 07-27-2004, 08:46 PM
 
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Monica,
My DH was the same way when I suggested a doula. With ds, I didn't know they existed, but he was phenomenal anyways. My OB was another story, but Dh was amazing. So this time when I suggested a doula to advocate for me, and he asked what they were, and I explained it, it came out wrong and he thought I wouldn't need him (although hurt, I think he may have been relieved if he thought too long about it... he had no idea what we'd go through until we were experiencing it). Anyhow, you're not alone there. If for some reason I run into pregnancy complications and my care needs to be transferred to an OB and I know ahead of time, I will be hiring a doula for sure. Dh understands why. If it's an emergency, my mw's will stay there to support me anyhow.

Jesse -- thanks for the maxipad freezer advice! At the hospital last time they gave us ice things wrapped in J-cloths and they were wonderful. This time I don't plan on being in the hospital very long, if at all (I'm still trying to work that out). Scheelimama, I just read your frozen veggie idea, which I'm sure will also be heavenly.
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#17 of 24 Old 07-29-2004, 04:51 PM
 
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From a new mama-to-be: It's definitly great having the Mothering resourse, with all that great advice. Another thing I read somewhere, and that has been reiterated by other moms to me, is to take the time before the baby comes to pamper yourself: take long baths, eat out at a fancy restaurant and get lots of romantic alone time with dp, etc. While taking the time and money to do those things pre-birth might seem extravagant, apparently you just won't get the opportunity for it for a while afterwards.

Also, in reference to honeymooning with the baby, I've decided to try and do all my Christmas shopping before the baby comes, so that I don't feel any stress in December. We've already got dp's parents and grandmother coming for Christmas so the last thing we need is to run around doing last minute shopping with a newborn!

I'm planning to have dp, the midwives and my dear friend (dp's sister, and our roommate) attend our home birth. Besides being a very grounded and nurturing person, my friend is also doing pre-med studies, so I feel very confident asking her to attend. I've thought about having my mom (who has attended other friends homebirths) be in the house as back up, but when it came up she seemed skeptical, like she wasn't sure if she'd be able to "handle" being there. So we'll see. I feel, at this point, pretty open to it all, but you never know how I'll feel when I actually go into labour.

I also feel big. I am measuring a week bigger than my 24 weeks, so I guess I have reason to. But I love it- it's exciting to get bigger and have it be obvious.
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#18 of 24 Old 07-29-2004, 05:20 PM
 
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Hi, I already posted once this week, but I just had my appt. so thought I would report back. Baby sounded good and hb was in the 130'-140's. My mw is certain it is a boy, LOL! I have had many, many people tell me that I look "so small" to be as far as I am. It's kind of driving me crazy, b/c I don't really feel small, but I was pretty small to begin with, so it takes longer for your belly to get past your boobs. Anyway, I did find out that I am also measuring small. I'm 25 weeks and I think I measured at 22.5 weeks, so there's hope of a small baby this time that will be able to wear my nb dipes that I sewed up for quite awhile. That also means that I could have another late, but perfectly on-time (got rated at 40 wks when born at 41) baby that weighs in over 8 lbs. Anyway, everyone keeps saying how huge they are looking and I'm feeling a bit out of the loop, but I'm glad. I never got huge with dd. In fact, when I was a week past due someone who didn't know me very well looked at me and said, "so, you've got about another month left, huh?" Well, I guess that's it for now. Oh, I crawled through a window this morning. Locked myself and dd out of the house and I wasn't about to call dh! It would only open 1 ft so it was a tight squeeze for my belly and me to get through, but I did it! My dad was horrified when I told him. Just thought I would share my rediculous stunt.

Alisha, Army wife to Nathan , Homeschooling mama to Scheeli (May 2003) , Bronwynn (Nov. 2004) :, Piper (Nov. 2007) , and Wesley (January 2010)
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#19 of 24 Old 07-29-2004, 05:55 PM
 
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Scheelimama, LOL at you poor thing climbing through the window! I am known for locking myself out of the house and/or car when I'm pregnant! Glad to hear it when other people do it too

A real quick update on me, I was able to work something out with my original (homebirth) midwife fee-wise, so now I am able to have a homebirth! I am so very excited! I'll be seeing her on Saturday, can't wait!
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#20 of 24 Old 07-29-2004, 06:07 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MonkeyPrincess
Scheelimama, LOL at you poor thing climbing through the window! I am known for locking myself out of the house and/or car when I'm pregnant! Glad to hear it when other people do it too
This was actually my second time in 3 weeks and dh told me last time not to lock the door from the inside again! It was 100 degrees out that day. I called my landlord last time, but I was not about to do that again. And dh works 45 min. away. I had to do it. Now, I think I'm going to go find one of those rocks that you can hide an extra key in. My back sure does hurt now.

Alisha, Army wife to Nathan , Homeschooling mama to Scheeli (May 2003) , Bronwynn (Nov. 2004) :, Piper (Nov. 2007) , and Wesley (January 2010)
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#21 of 24 Old 07-30-2004, 10:37 AM
 
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What is the best advice you have for the moms-to-be regarding pg/delivery/post-partum?
Don't overthink things! Let your instincts tell you what to do. Defintely have good food on hand for after the delivery -I was SO hungry!

Are you going to have a doula or other labor support person at your birth (besides your DP if your dp is attending)?
Hmm, not really. My best friend will take care os my DS, but more likely at her house (she lives very close) until birth is imminent. If I think I need more help than my MW and DH can provide, another friend might take care of the kiddos so the friend can be with us. Just depends
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#22 of 24 Old 07-30-2004, 11:33 AM
 
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Best advice from me..let others do for you. I have REAL trouble with this..last time I insisted I cook T-giving dinner a week after Eli was born and only 2 days home from the hospital after an infection..it was silly and my family still teases me...so my goal is to do better at letting others help me. I'm a little obsessive about some things

No doula for me. I had a really good friend of mine at Eli's birth who was a midwife and has now moved on and is doing a doctorate in pre and perinatal psychology. I will miss having her around, but not enough to hire a stranger. My MIL wants very much to be at the birth and so I'll be allowing that, but other than that, nooo one. I suspect Grandad will have to take care of Eli during the homebirth process (the inlaws live with us 6 months every year..this being the first year they will be doing it). My teens won't be here unless they are on T-giving break when I give birth..however, like someone else, I'll have to Xmas shop before the baby is born because the whole family is descending upon us for Xmas..and I do not want to try to drag a tiny infant shopping like I did with Eli! At least that was a quiet Xmas, though. This time the whole house will be full.

Guess that is it..we're really bogged down and coo coo this week because my husband has to have his gallbladder removed today. I've been a mess since he went into the ER the other night thinking he had a heart attack...and the rotten teenagers cannot seem to understand that sleeping all day and being up all night is just making things worse! I have to make them get up after maybe 2 hrs of sleep to watch Eli today and I'm worried sick that they won't be able to do it..I can't take him to the hospital. sigh..ok..vent over..

Hugs mamas..and yes..my belly popped and i'm HUGE already...another 8 lb baby on the way I think...this at only 22.5 weeks..
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#23 of 24 Old 08-02-2004, 12:14 AM
 
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Best advice? Sleep when the baby sleeps. I literally slept everytime my first napped. On and off all day for proably a week. I was just exhausted. With your 2nd, you don't get quite so lucky; your dp or mother or mil is either helping you or paying attention to your little one. I'm now due with #3 and have no idea how this is going to work.

Other advice? I remember reading this and it was wonderful. Set up a nursing station. In those early days you can spend lots of time nursing. Comfy chair, foot stool, boopy type pillow, book to read &/or remote control to radio or tv, something to sop up milk (cloth dipes work great). Don't forget to have someone running you snacks, drinks, snacks and drinks. It takes more calories to make bm that to grow a baby and bm making is very thirsty work!

Who's going to be at my birth? This is my first hospital birth; we've moved and unfortunately that's my only option right now. Both my husband and mother were at my first two births. My mother will probably be watching the boys for this one; it's one thing to have them around at home where they can come and go but I can't really imagine them in the hospital. My husband will be there; couldn't do it without him - he's my emotional support for everything. I would love a doula but there aren't any around here. I don't want her for comfort or massage or anything; I want someone to advocate for me against the giant hospital machine. My husband is gong to be busy tending me - I'd love someone who's entire job was to defend my birth plan.

Am I huge? Yup. I had been measuring exactlly with my weeks, but I still looked huge. When you're 5'1 there just isn't that much room in there. Last week at my appt I was measuring 26 cm at 24 weeks. Looks like it might be another 8+ lber. I don't care about weight so much, but I hope to never have another one with a close to 15 inch head
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#24 of 24 Old 08-03-2004, 11:57 AM
 
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LIke others: relax!!!! Seriously. The house can wait. Others WILL do it for you if you let them. Sleep when the baby sleeps. Be selfish. If you want to be alone with baby, say so. This is one of the few times in your life when YOU get to call the shots.
I'm doing well. Just got back from vacation (will post an update post in a moment) and it was lovely!
We will not have a doula. DH is a great birth partner
xoxo
Charlotte
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