Hi I'm New and Confused!! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 11-20-2004, 12:20 AM - Thread Starter
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Hi, I am new to this group and I am still trying to find my way around. I am due January 9th. I have two adopted childern age 6 and 8, but this is my first one giving birth to, so this is all new to me : I am 23 years old and have a husband who is more scared than i am, or at least i think he is! I really want to breast feed, but am scared how open i can be with it around my other two kids. I also am interested in cloth diapering, but do not have much support with that from my family, no one thinks i can handle it.
Also I had a app at my doctors, which is three women. One I like, the other is weird, and the last i do not like at all(not personable at all). She(the one I don't like) told me two weeks ago that i was measuring fine and everything looked great. Then next app told me she wanted me to have another ultrasound because I wasn't measuring. I really didn't want to have another ultrasound done, and i think she is just eating up my insurance for some more money(medicade). I'm wanting to switch to a mid-wife!! I not getting what i wanted for the doctors. Someone please talk to me .
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#2 of 4 Old 11-27-2004, 02:39 PM
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Howdy there! New to MDC or just this section? I find that the due date clubs tend to be a bit slow, but maybe you'll find some good advice in the diapering and BF'ing sections. I think it could be a positive experience for your two older kids to get used to nursing. If they grow up with nursing as a natural, everyday thing, then they'll be more likely to pass that on in their own families.

I'm having my first too, and I'm planning on cloth diaper, too. I'm still pretty new to the newfangled types. I used to think it was all pre-folds and pins and rubber pants. There are so many different types of dipes to choose from! Luckily I sew, so I can experiment a little.

I think it's definately worth looking into the midwife option, or even a different OB practice. You don't wanna end up stuck with someone you don't like/trust. It's not too late to switch, I've heard of other mamas doing it at 30some weeks. Good luck!
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#3 of 4 Old 12-10-2004, 07:10 PM
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I'm not thrilled with my physician, either, but I moved pretty late in my pregnancy to a small town where there aren't a whole lot of choices. What I've done is put together a pretty specific birthing plan and made sure that my physician, while it might not be exactly the way she'd like things done, will honor my wishes. Second, I've hired a doula who will be very supportive of my natural-birth wishes. Third, I'm prepared to "latch on" to an OB nurse that I like and will be supportive (luckily, our hospital is natural birth-friendly) of my wishes. You can always request that a different nurse be assigned to you if you don't think the one you have is a good fit. My thought is that a physician is not going to spend much time with you at all at birth, so the most important thing is to surround yourself with a good support team - partner, doula, nurse, family, whoever those folks are for you. That said, the physician WILL be making most of the medical decisions, so I'm trying to read up on as much as I can, so I feel like I am an informed patient when/if the physician recommends medical intervention.

Re: cloth diapers, the resources are overwhelming! I'm starting off with the cheaper route - three dozen prefolds and five bummi super wraps, also homemade wipes made of fleece (you just buy a big piece of fleece, launder, and cut into pieces).

Re: breastfeeding, it seems to provide a learning curve for almost everyone I meet. There's a lactation consultant at pretty much all hospitals, and a La Leche League in nearly every community. I haven't met anyone yet who couldn't get the hang of it if they were willing to meet and learn from resources such as these.

Best of luck to you!

Mama of three incredible bf, cd, naturally birthed little people!
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#4 of 4 Old 12-10-2004, 09:03 PM
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Hi J. - I'm not new anymore, but we all were once! I have a 6yr old dd and cloth diapered and bfed her the whole way. We're expecting #2 end of Jan. It was hard (both to bfeed and to c. diaper), but I really wanted to do both and we finally got into a great rythm and kept at it for 2 yrs feeding and 3 yrs diapering.

What I did. Well, I got help. Soon I had so many opinions, I was completely overwhelmed. Then I found one woman who sat down with me and helped sort out the options and the costs/benefits of each type. That really helped. We ended up with a mixture (as many families do) of styles. aio's (all in one's : so called because you do not use a separate diaper cover, they have one built in) were our all time favorite and we ended up with two different kinds. They're the only ones my husband will use, actually! They cost the most up front (about $10/diaper) and take longer to dry, but they don't require anything extra, wash and dry easily, and you can travel easily with them. Also they are somewhat more breathable than the plastic covers and somewhat trimmer, good for the learning to walk baby.

We also ended up with some regular diapers, the kind you have to use a diaper cover for. These come in a variety of styles these days: prefold (pretty much a rectangle of cloth that you fold over twice - the diaper service style) (w/ or w/out colors/patterns), shaped (ditto on colors and patterns)(hourgalss shape but not fitted), and fitted (ditto again)(gathers at the leg and waist to keep leaks in) are the most common. We didn't opt for any of the prefolds because you HAVE to use a cover with them every time. I like the babe being able to romp around the house without a cover - way better for the bum. The prefolds need either a pin or something called a snappi that is a three-pronged plastic thing that holds the diaper together just like a pin without the sharp pins. Cool, except we learned that the snappi can come off, especially for an active baby or a creeper/crawler. Ok, so then we were down to two. We did get a few of the fitteds, but found it wasn't worth the cost. They cost four times what the prefolds cost, but didn't do any more for the baby. We did buy about 24 shaped, which fit better than the prefolds but were only a little bit more expensive (about $3.50ea). Prefolds were the cheapest by far, even adding in extra wraps. Also, if you use prefolds you can sequey into a diaper service (or just call them and ask what the start-up cost is), if you think that going that way might alleviate some of the family stress you're experiencing.

We bought enough diapers to last a whole week (abot 60 diapers and about 8 wraps). I am not a big fan of laundry and dh is not terribly reliable with it - this way every sat. morn. he'd wake up and start the diaper laundry (1 load/wk) and I'd finish it. We used a watertight pail with a snug fitting lid that we filled about 1/3 - 1/2 way with water and 1/8th cup cider or white vinegar (whatever was on sale). Diapes were clean, soft and white. Also we didn't have to remember to double rinse in the wash...bonus! Aside from that, the rest is a style issue. Don't get fooled by what's best - what's best is whatever works for you.

Also you'll want to get some type pf diaper insert (can be called a doubler, too) which 1) protect the diaper from poop 2) help increase absorbancy and 3) can wick moisture away from baby's parts, depending upon the style chosen. These can be cloth, biodegradable, or funky (like the fleece ones described by Sara). You can find them in wool, hemp etc. Again, anything that works for you works. Lots of people get the disposable ones, which you just dump into the toilet with the poop.

Breastfeeding is an art. I'd suggest reading up on it - look into the b'feeding site on mothering.com. also check out a La Leche League meeting series before the baby is due. You can usually bring children to these, but not always (always b'feeding babies, not always older kids). I second the opinion that bringing b'feeding into the household and normalizing it (idolizing?) is a great thing to do for children. Some mom/babe pairs b'feed naturally well, most have a learning curve to deal with. Be prepared to have difficulties, and figure out ahead of time what you might do - where to turn for info/help/support. Get the womanly art of Breastfeeding (by La Leche League) from the library - and wherever it is there are bound to be other books, too. It's a challenging and extremely rewarding experience. Once you get going (about week 1 - 3) you can leave the house anytime, bring a litle blankie or shawl and feed the babe anywhere / everywhere! The mall, the car (parked, of course!), even at friends houses. The cover up makes it really easy. Practice practice practice! Your baby will be a most willing practice partner, no worries there!

I really do hope it goes well for you both! It's a wonderful thing to do for your baby, and you sound like you're into making informed and smart decisions as a parent.

Mama to B and O , wife to J and me to me! :
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