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Old 12-01-2004, 10:58 PM
 
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Great tip about the tablecloths! I've got a few!
My mw is recommedning absorbent disposable pads, and I'm wondering if anyone uses any kind of cloth alternative, or do yo`u pretty much need the disposable ones (obviously we've been giving birth without them for thousands of years, but what have people's experiences been?)
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Old 12-01-2004, 11:00 PM
 
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Originally Posted by mamamaya
My name choices are Einin, which means "little bird", or Keeva, meaning "gentle spirit" They are gaelic names. Or else I would love to give the baby a flower name, or name it after some sort of bird, but I can't think of any good ones...Please help, :LOL

I Keeva. Its so beautiful and differnet but not difficult if you kwim

mum to Christopher (6/98) Elizabeth (2/05) twins Aaron and Dominic (7/10/06) and new baby Eden (4-18-09)
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Old 12-01-2004, 11:24 PM
 
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Azreial!
Complain all you want here! I think many families have that kind of un-even treatment with their kids. My dh's parents have spoiled his siblings way more than him- he resents it too. but then at the same time, i think he's better off doing his own thing w/o being as dependent on them.
I think part of the problem with having showers/blessingways now is that everyone gets so busy with holidays. It's a crazy time of year, and just when things start to slow down, well start having our babies.

Pam and Abigail. re: not-disposable pads. Birth is messy and chux pads (the throwaway kind) are certainly not NEEDED. but they make life a lot easier. When you're in labor, and leaking fluids, blood, whatever, it's very nice to have a large stash of something to change underneath you. Those pads can be annoying, but in messy birth, they are so easy to deal with. And then the clean-up for your birth is fast and simple. I think if i were gonna use reusable pads, I'd want to have a whole bunch so that i could always have a clean/ dry place to be.... that's just my .02
oh, but if you have a waterbirth? clean up is the easiest (just have a lot of towels on hand!)!
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Old 12-01-2004, 11:54 PM
 
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BTW, makana is gift, and makani is wind
oops! I always get those mixed up. See, thats why I need help! I'm leaning towards Keeva, which is actually spelled Caiomhe (but thats way too confusing) because my other two guys have K names...

I was looking around on the web, and I think I found a couple more cute ones. We'll just have to wait and see...
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Old 12-01-2004, 11:55 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pam_and_Abigail
Great tip about the tablecloths! I've got a few!
My mw is recommedning absorbent disposable pads, and I'm wondering if anyone uses any kind of cloth alternative, or do yo`u pretty much need the disposable ones (obviously we've been giving birth without them for thousands of years, but what have people's experiences been?)
If you really want something reusable, just use lots of towels instead, but have LOTS on hand. And have lots of bottles of hydrogen peroxide, becasue it gets blood out the best. Tell your midwife your plan ahead of time. The hospital uses washable pads, they can be purchased from cascade
http://www.1cascade.com/professional...cts/underpads/
afterwards these could be good lap pads, or maybe good for a few other things.

I agreed waterbirth makes for the eaasiest cleanup!

A few disposable pads are so handy though. I'll be using those, but you do have these ooptions...Heidi
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Old 12-01-2004, 11:55 PM
 
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Azreial, I'm sorry about your fam. That really is a bummer
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Old 12-02-2004, 12:05 AM
 
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I had a waterbirth, but for the bed thing...we just used old sheets folded in thirds lengthwise, and then tucked under the mattress across the bed. Its how they used to do it in hospitals in the old days, from what I hear. Doesn't work unless you have lots of old sheets though.
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Old 12-02-2004, 01:55 AM
 
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Azreial- I am so sorry you have to go through that trauma with your family! I know it must be hard, especially with all of the other emotions we experience throughout our pregnancies!!

Mamamaya - I like Keeva!!
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Old 12-02-2004, 12:35 PM
 
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Hey now - Az - woah. I kwym about the family thing. It's somehow just totally not fair, and yet there is just nothing you, personally, can do about it. It's same with dh over here. His parents have funded his two brothers for YEARS (like more than 20), including paying bills, spending money, paying for their kids etc. and never a thought to paying back. My dh has never taken anything but a few wedding gifts from them. They are, however, warm and generally very generous with themselves, so we don't complain. His Dad died a few months before dd was born. Now that we're sort of at that place with #2, I'm pretty worried about losing his mom (she IS 85, so it wouldn't shock anyone, but still...). At some point it's about something more than what they did or didn't DO for you, but what they've left you with. Try to detach a little bit more, so that it doesn't feel so personal. They're not telling you that you don't matter, that your job is inconsequential, or that you don't work hard enough. They're not saying that you aren't important to the family or that they don't love you. Know that they are probably really relieved that not EVERYONE in their family is completely dependent upon them, and they must feel a sense of "why can't they be more like this one?!", although if you are harbouring some illwill they will probably pick up on that, too. It is so hard to be the 'grown-up' around our parents, who we honestly believe should be grown-up, but you may have to pull it off for the babe and for your own sense of okayness, which seems to be suffering.

I have been really super emotional recently too. Crying over the littlest things and tears springing up at really weird moments. I guess in the end, it's important that your kids have a good relationship with your parents and in-laws, and that can't happen if you're unforgiving of their weaknesses. I hope any of this resonates...it's all stuff I've had to cope with too. And probably a zillion other moms out there!

I love the name Keeva too, it reminds me of Kiva which is a sacred ceremonial house in the Hopi/Navajo tradition. Round, very cool. Also I double the vote for disposable pads during the birth. The process in-hospital may not be perfect, but they do have the clean up part in fine tune. Although washable is so nice, you've then got a TON of laundry to do after you have your babe, and that's not a very appealing thing to have to look forward to... Ok, gotta go. Hang in there all! My leg cramps are a little better with the Mag Phos. Also switched Ca. supplement to one with more Mg. in it. I'm heading off to a 3 mile walk in a little bit, so we'll see... andy

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Old 12-02-2004, 06:04 PM
 
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Hi y'all!
Sounds like everyone is doing ok...
Azreial-I'm sorry about your baby shower. If you lived near me I would throw you one. We're not having one this time 'cause most of our friends are childless and only give toys and less than usefull stuff anyway.

I have been super emotional, too. although that pretty much been a constant through the whole pregnancy :LOL

I'm kind of not liking my midwife right now. When we interviewed her she sounded so hands off. Now she's testing my glucose levels every week and when I mentioned I was itchy she said maybe I should take another supplement just in case its a sign my liver is over taxed. Just what I want another pill... Plus it's now winter here and the air has been pretty cold and very dry, makes sense why I would be itchy, huh? My dh loves her...and I guess I"m too tired to change at this point. I just want to have my baby and have everybody leave me alone. It would be nice if the baby came before the midwives got there and then they could come in and help with clean up and making sure everyone is ok. Pam_and _abigail I think I am starting to really understand why you want to UC. It's not a desire to be crunchy it's more just to be allowed to trust my body and let things go naturally. Nobody checking on me and getting worried something's wrong.

I'll stop venting now ...wanna hear something cute? Dd made me "chocolate cookies" with the garlic press while I was making dinner last night
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Old 12-02-2004, 06:51 PM
 
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With the garlic press? How do you make chocolate cookies with a garlic press? THat's the thing that you stick the garlic in and it squashes it through little holes, right?

Az, that sucks about your shower and your MIL not paying much attention to you.
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Old 12-02-2004, 06:56 PM
 
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yes that's what a garlic press is...she's into the pretending stage. I think it's really funny. The other night my sister was watching her so dh and I could have adate night and she was fixing her broken horsey. Every couple of minutes she would stop riding it and take out some "tools" and fix it. My dh likes to work on cars a lot...
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Old 12-02-2004, 07:27 PM
 
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UC is still on my mind, and that's exactly why! I, too, am doubting my mw for various reasons. Because we started late with her, I'm afraid I won't know her well enough to be comfortable with her. And it feels like she's putting pressure on me to go to the obs clinic she works with. Originally, it was "go once, to get your name known there, etc" now it's "most moms go a few times to get to know the docs in case...". Maybe I'm not being clear to her, but I really don't feel like going. I had mentioned a few weeks back I might go once more, but it's flu season and I don't think I need to drag dd and I to a hospital (where the clinic is) where we might pick up a bad bug.
Anyway, it IS my choice. And there's always the chance of a snowstorm in January where she can't make it...

Thanks for the advice on the pads. I think I may use them, just so I don't have to worry about the laundry when the little one is here.
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Old 12-02-2004, 10:35 PM
 
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Mamabecca thank you very much for your post. I am usually so much better about the whole thing. This last week has just been an emotional mess, too much going on at once I bet. I'm feeling much better now. I think my rant really helped, thnks for listening everyone.

mum to Christopher (6/98) Elizabeth (2/05) twins Aaron and Dominic (7/10/06) and new baby Eden (4-18-09)
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Old 12-03-2004, 01:14 AM
 
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I can't believe I'm due in 47 days! :LOL

Overall, I'm feeling pretty good. Huge, of course, and it's hard to move around and I can't get comfy at night but things could be so much worse.

I'm getting excited about these babies! 3 more weeks and I'm in the clear for a homebirth, which is really important to me, too.
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Old 12-03-2004, 02:16 AM
 
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Adria,
I had a twin day today.... we had our LLL meeting at a twin mama's house- her girls are 14 months old. Another set of twins came- they're 6 weeks old, and then after the meeting I ran into our mom who had the homebirth 6 months ago. Her boys are 4 months old and doing so well!!! All of the moms are truly an inspiration- they have amazing amounts of patience!

You will keep those babies in as long as they need to be. When you're healthy, i see no reason why they should come early. Keep up the good gestating!!!

I found that flannel backed tablecloth material today. it was so cheap and I'm happy I found it. I bought 2 yards and I'm thinking I might get some more as it seems like it'll be useful and less icky than straight plastic (and it was cheap too!).

I had a long day today after a night with a 3 hour insomnia session. i ended up being in town and doing errands almost all day- ugh. I'm exhausted and my back hurts. I did, however buy the baby some cute little outfits-- i don't usually do stuff like that but i couldn't resist!

Oh, and to whoever was writing about not feeling that great or comfy with her mw? I think it's really important for you to express this to her. If you plan on calling her for the birth, you should feel good when she walks through the door, not upset or annoyed. The relationship needs to be trustworthy on both sides..... my mw is also my friend, but I've been very clear with her about my expectations for this birth- i.e. be there, but don't touch me unless i tell you to. You're only gonna give birth to this baby once and all your feelings should be clear.

Aloha,
Karen
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Old 12-03-2004, 10:17 AM
 
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For me, with my mw, it's just a matter of not knowing her well yet. I think we've met 5 or 6 times total. I do like her, though. We just aren't close yet, and I hope there will be time to get closer!
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Old 12-03-2004, 11:10 AM
 
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Ok Ladies - WRITE YOUR BIRTHPLANS! Write them with a sharpie on cardboard (with pretty paper on top, if you wish). Use color to indicate the various people involved/responsible. Show it to your partner, MW's, neighbors, friends, the cop that pulls you over for blowing through the stop sign you didn't see (hey - it might help!), the librarian who reads to the kids, EVERYONE. Do not let this get away from you. This is our body, our baby, our choice. Do get proactive if you feel control slipping. We have the right to refuse anything (just about) from a care provider. They can override in the hospital, but not usually anywhere else since the care being provided is rarely life and death. I dropped one MW like a stone because she really wasn't hearing me. The result is that I don't have a ton of time to get to know these new MW's too well, but we do gel and they do listen. They respect that I'd like to catch the baby, and we talked about taking some precautions since I tested Strep. + in a urine sample a while back. They were knowledgable and firm about what they did know and we built a plan together for how to approach the birth. I kwym about the feeling of not knowing the MW's too well, and therefore having some reservations...but if it's more than that (if they're not respecting your needs/wishes) then maybe even at this late date you should consider taking yourselves to someone else (if there is someone else) or having a serious discussion with the MW's to iron things out with them. It's going to be your call, no matter what.

Malama - the tablecloth material is wonderful. It's cheap here, too, which makes it so the right choice! I am pleased for you that you now have it, and can feel more ready. And buying a few outfits for a new baby is somehow a prereq. for mamahood (no matter how many times you've been one before). I have friends in Zimbabwe who have zippo in the bank (they've never even seen the inside of a bank), who have several kids floating around, and who work from 5am until 9pm on a rocky farm with broken tools, but they always buy the baby a layette to home home in. Course the kid is still wearing it 6 months later, and pieces of it a year after that, but - hey - this AIN'T Zimbabwe! Enjoy the new stuff and take a quiet day to make up for yesterday's stress.

Az - you are a champion. Don't forget that you are entitled to act pregnant, therefore hormonal, during the next few months. It's not going to be easy (as I also found out at T-giving), and it feels to me like things are way more personal than they are. I am dreading having to talk to my mom about manipulating things through dd, which she really tried to do. I know she did it sort of unintentionally, but she's way over the line, and I need to redraw it with her or there's going to be more problems. I am DREADING it. It's so emotional for me, I tear up at the least provocation. And she is SO not understanding. Ugh.

I've had great days. The mag. phos. is working great, or the prenatals, or the new calcium supplement (which has better Ca. in it for absorption and also has Zinc, vit. D and Mg. in it) or some combination of these things. The indigestion is really much better and the leg cramps are GONE! Whew. Dh is kind of sick with a lingering cold, but otherwise we are GREAT! Keep spirits high! For Chanukah I bought myself a reconditioned Shi-Atsu Massage Chair cover (also fits on the car seat). It was half price on The Sharper Image web site. I hope we get it before Chanukah is over - I do still love to unrap these goodies. I am happy to be getting SOMEthing that will get some of the bad posture out of my spine! I am getting pretty swayback these days - too much relaxin?! Very long and off topic , so thanks for listening and do write the birthplans. TGIF! Andy

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Old 12-03-2004, 02:55 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Malama
Oh, and to whoever was writing about not feeling that great or comfy with her mw? I think it's really important for you to express this to her. If you plan on calling her for the birth, you should feel good when she walks through the door, not upset or annoyed. The relationship needs to be trustworthy on both sides..... my mw is also my friend, but I've been very clear with her about my expectations for this birth- i.e. be there, but don't touch me unless i tell you to. You're only gonna give birth to this baby once and all your feelings should be clear.
I understand...and I'm kind of like Pam_and _Abigail...Part of it is that I just don't know her that well. I'm a pretty reserved person and I just wish I felt like I could talk a bit more about I feel, not phsyically, about this pregnancy. But it just feels like it's become more about the physical symptoms. I think that's why I keep wanting to hire my doula to be there too.

I was thinking of trying to see if my MW would meet me for coffee/tea or something. Just so we aren't in her office and there are no instruments or peices of paper to write on.

It's kind of funny as strange as the other MW wei nterviewed seemed I was much more comfortable talking to her about my depression and everything...

Milk4two- I'm so excited for you that you can now hae your babies at home. What an amazing eperience that will be!
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Old 12-03-2004, 02:59 PM
 
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Andy, Youre so upbeat this am and a great cheering section for everyone!!

I'm jealous of your shiat-su chair!! We just ordered these things to sit on (cushions?) that are slanted a little forward- good for bringing those babies anterior! and then the cushion has a little u taken out in the back for your coccyx to drop down into and lengthen your spine. My dh has problems in his coccyx and our body worker friend recommended it and it sounded good to me to-- should be here today, i bet. It's not as good as a massager..... but my back's been hurting me a bunch and after mopping the floors the other day my pelvis feels icky- so I'm willing to try anything!

Pam and Abigail.... if your mw follows the schedule of seeing you every week int he last month, you'll have a little more time to get closer to her. At that time too, you're so open, so it's a good time. I just really think you need to be crystal clear with her and see how she responds.

well I'm thrilled to say I slept through the night (well, with the 3 bathroom visits, lol). At least I'll be able to deal with the day and my family. I think I was so tired and moody last night that my family was afraid of me . I'm hoping that my extreme moodiness goes away as soon as possible....
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Old 12-04-2004, 12:57 AM
 
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mamabecca I think you are my hero for the week I wasn't going to write a birth plan at all : but you've inspired me I talked to dh and we are going to start tomorrow. Your post couldn't have come at a better time. We are going to tour the back-up hospital tomorrow morning, ds is with his father and quite amazingly we have nothing planned after the hospital tour at 10.30

So any other slacker mamas like me lets get going!! Time is running out and those birthplans need to be done, even if they are just for dh/dp to have written down what you want

mum to Christopher (6/98) Elizabeth (2/05) twins Aaron and Dominic (7/10/06) and new baby Eden (4-18-09)
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Old 12-04-2004, 04:43 AM
 
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I am having a hard time writing a birth plan this time around. With ds we wrote one and gave it to everyone

Now we are having a homebirth with an amazing midwife. She comes to our home for visits and talks to me(us) about everything/anything. She plays with ds and is a terrific person.

I just don't know what to include in a birthplan now. I know I should have one for the just in cases, but I am being lazy...Also I don't anticipate a just in case..

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Old 12-04-2004, 11:38 PM
 
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Proud Mom - I KWYM. I really do. I want so badly for this birth to go well, and actually expect no major probs., and trust the mw's to be good at their jobs... but I still wrote it down. I kept it simple and focused on the what if's, since that's when things start to fall apart. I made sure to include what to do with dd if things progress toward the hospital, and also about a c-section if that is needed, drugs/stimulants for progressing labor, and mechanical medical interventions (suction/forceps). I think that's about it. Anyway, it's always possible for something to snag and things get tripped up, so better to have a plan than to be caught unawares and have to make snap decisions while people are telling you your baby's heartbeat is irregular or the baby is under stress or whatever. That was my panic from last time round...live and learn!

today was spent scrapping a ton of pics with some other ladies. a very mellow day filled with WAY too much junkfood. Tomorrow, if the weather holds, I will grab all who care to come and hit a hiking trail. I need a few miles to walk off all those donuts! Man, Krispy Kreams are just way too tempting for me!

Take care all - I hope people are having a great weekend! Andy

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Old 12-05-2004, 01:51 AM
 
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Hi mamas,

I saw my midwife today, and thankfully my cervix hasn't changed at all in two weeks!!! She said I probably won't deliver too early if it hasn't changed since then, and that I could go ahead and stop taking the terb now that I'm 34 weeks. Whew. What a sigh of relief

Is anyone else feeling ALOT of pressure in their coccyx, sacral area? Everytime I get up and start walking around I feel like I have to poo, but I know its just the baby's head putting pressure there. Ahhh, the lovely last weeks of pregnancy :LOL.

I really need to right a birth plan. This is my first planned hospital birth and I'm already a little nervous. I'm kinda skeptical that they will follow my instructions just because I have it written down on a peice of paper, but I guess it doesn't hurt to do it anyways.
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Old 12-05-2004, 04:28 PM
 
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I am so very happy for you MM! I think it's great that you don't have that stress/worry any more. Whew is RIGHT! I wanted to say to Malama that her cushion is more likely to provide actual improvement in the long run. The massage thing is so great, but it does nothing for posture, really, which is so often the root of getting rid of back pain. And it sounds like the shi-atsu wouldn't help your dh, either, so my .02 is that you made the right call! And if you're ever in NY, you come on over and can use my Chanukah present! Az - I hope you have had some luck getting stuff on paper! Caio all, andy

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Old 12-05-2004, 06:04 PM
 
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awesome mamamaya! i've heard that terb makes you feel icky and i'm glad you're off of it.... guess it WAS the flu after all the other day.

i'm living in a house of sick people. both my boys have colds and we have house guests with colds. so far i have not been sick this whole pregnancy and i intend for it to stay that way. i have no patience for runny noses and coughing!
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