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Old 12-16-2004, 01:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Is anyone else suffering anxiety about labor & birth??

This is my 4th baby & even though I had 2 great homebirths, my 3rd was a hospital transfer & my midwife with that baby was awful. I have a brillant midwife this time but I still cannot shake this anxiety. I am often short of breath & nervous.

I saw my homeopath the other day & she gave me some remedies but nothing seems to work.

Has anyone else felt this way? I need to get my head together but I am not sure how!
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Old 12-16-2004, 03:30 PM
 
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Stacey!
Sounds like you have some healing to do before you give birth!
I transported with my first birth and though it wasn't traumatic it certainly wasn't anything like what I wanted.
What worked for ME was doing a lot of relaxation and visualization during my second pregnancy. After I'd put my son to bed, I's take a long hot bath, or listen to a relaxation/ visualization tape. I had to remind myself that birth is safe, and that my body knew what to do.

Your situation might be different as I don't know why you transported, but it sounds like you could definitely use some good positive visualization.

Have you talked with your current mw extensively about your last birth? Since she will be with you, it's a good idea for her to understand clearly what your fears are this time so she can work with you.

I think homeopathy is a great idea.... also have you read Birthing From Within? It has some art projects to do that may help you work through some of your trauma.

Anyhow, these are just a few ideas I'm thinking of this am..... I wish you much luck on your journey.
Karen
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Old 12-16-2004, 07:10 PM
 
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I transported for my first birth too. I wasn't really anxious for my second one, but had a lot of healing to do. I talked about it alot with my midwife, and did some relaxation/visualization (visualizing a safe place in my head, sort of like hypnosis) and made sure I had really supoprtive people with me at my birth. Surprisingly, when I went into labor, I felt incredibly calm and peaceful. It was a wonderful quick homebirth.

As for this pregnancy, I have been having lots of anxiety, and I'm not sure why. Part of its hormones, part of it is probably because I know I'm having the baby in the hospital and it really freaks me out. I take pulsatilla, and it helps ALOT. I've also been trying to talk it out with my midwife, and a counselor, and that really helps too. Another reason I think I'm apporaching the labor with a bit of a sense of "dread" as I like to call it, is because I just had a baby a year and a half ago, and while it wasn't super painful or traumatic (it was actually quite lovelry) the "pain" is still fresh in my memory, yk?

Anyways, I hope you have a beautiful, healing birth. Sending positive vibes your way
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Old 12-16-2004, 10:34 PM
 
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Mamamaya - Although it sounds like there may be past birthing issues to continue to work through, it sounds like there may be something else blocking your joy. Is home very busy? Are you finding time for yourself (even a little)? You know more about what's happening than anyone. Draw, paint, write, build with clay, cook, do whatever you need to do to get some ofthe issues up to the surface so you can deal with them. Don't let it go - it will snag up your birth journey. Deal with yourself!

I xported with dd, and the xfer was AWFUL! I hated the hospital, never got a good nurse, and the mw we had w/us stunkola. It was a complete disaster. We DID get a beautiful daughter out of it, so I'd do it again in a heartbeat, but am I visualizing ooooopen ooooopen ooooopen - even now. During b/h conx's, I visualize thinning, and at night I work on the opening thing.

I'm making a little scrapbook of beautiful pictures (mostly waterfalls) that I really like. While I'm in labor, if I am cogent enough to actually turn a page, I plan on using them to focus on during later labor - ooooopen. As malama said, use visualization to your advantage. Write stuff down that seems to work, so that dh or mw or whomever is present can help you remember what works for you. And talking through some of the issues may be very helpful to getting some of the stress and anxiety OUT in the ooooopen.

Your remembering the last birth experience isn't necessarily going to predict how this next birth progresses. It probably will not be as traumatic, it may not feel as powerful, your body certainly has had a lot of practice and is going to know exactly what to do. If you have a lot of confidence in your mw's, you should really be in a good place. If you aren't feeling totally confident in the mw, you need to verbalize that (not necessarily to them, but get it out in the ooooopen) and have someone supportive there for you so that if things "fall apart" you are not left feeling like there isn't support. My dh is terrible with the whole birth process - really doesn't handle it well. He's good to have around, because he's a great cook, can handle the phones, door, kid, dog etc., but I really can't count on him to be supportive of ME - something that I think is pretty critical. So I found a mw group that all stick together, don't have a lot of clients at once, and make the birthing mom a MAJOR priority. There should be 4 attending doulas/mw's at my birth, which makes me really feel valued, special, cared for and supported. It's what I need. Make sure you are taking care of yourself FIRST - get what you need!

Ok, I'm ready to jump off my soapbox now, I want you to know that you are an awesome mom, and you are going to have a completely unique and exciting experience with this new baby. Remember to breathe into the baby when you are feeling anxious and tight. Belly breathing is excellent to release endorphins and other good drugs into your system when you're feeling tense. Ooooopen..... lots of love and andy

Mama to B and O , wife to J and me to me! :
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Old 12-16-2004, 11:31 PM
 
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I'm making a little scrapbook of beautiful pictures (mostly waterfalls) that I really like. While I'm in labor, if I am cogent enough to actually turn a page, I plan on using them to focus on during later labor - ooooopen.
It's so funny that you mention this, because my visualization was also a waterfall. Actually, that I was in a sacred pool, hidden behind a waterfall. It must be that there is something instictual - water being a safe place for mothers, because so many moms I have talked to have said the same thing.

Anyways, I was thinking more about this, and I think that the reason all this is coming up is mainly because of the hospital. I was fine for the last birth because it wasn't there, but since this one is - all that trauma is sneaking up on me again, yk? My midwife is really awesome and supportive, and actually, the hospital is too (as much as they can be) it's very small, community based, more like a birth center, located on North Shore Oahu. The labor/delivery room has a beautiful view of the mountains, and if it rains I might get to see waterfalls. All the nurse's are very laid back...They are fine with whatever my wishes are, I think it'll be ok, it's just me.

And I'm not getting the support I need. Dh is being a reall a**hole right now (we just split up, long story, I won't go there) and I'm about to have three kids under age four! I never get any rest, and I've had a hard pregnancy, and well, I'm just tapped. BUT, as bad as it sounds, I treasure every day with my kids, I'm happy, relatively healthy and safe. Just an overwhelmed mama, I suppose I can't wait to meet my beautiful baby, and I know that once I see her(?) precious face it'll all be worth it.

Ok, I've totally hijacked this thread. Carry on...
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Old 12-25-2004, 09:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL! (those who celebrate....)

I have been having lots of pain in my cervix today & some off & on contractions which are only making me panic more.....why oh why can I not get it together???

I want so badly to meet this baby. I have only recently come to accept this pregnancy, but in order to meet the baby I have to get the baby out & I am scared. How could I be so scared after doing this three times before???

Any lovely thoughts you can send my way would be appreciated......

I am thinking of you all & awaiting big news from you all starting very soon!!
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Old 12-25-2004, 09:53 PM
 
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Stacey!
If the issue is not the baby (sounds like you're excited to have him/her), then focus on the baby as you start up contractions. Remember that labor is just a temporary means to getting that babe in your arms. So often when the pains start, we forget WHY we're doing it.....

Also remember that there's a lot of emotional stuff with birth, but that it's also a mechanical body event. Allow your body to do its thing while you think about the sweet baby you'll soon hold.

You CAN do it!!!!

Sending warm thoughts your way!

Love,
Karen
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Old 12-25-2004, 09:55 PM
 
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Stacey

You are a strong, beautiful, amazing woman and mother. I know that you have the strength inside of yourself to do this. My heart is with you and I'm sure all the mother's who have birthed before you are as well. Visualize the baby, visualize yourself holdng the baby, and if you need to visualize a safe place - please do so as well. I think I can safely say we are all holding your hands from cyber space.

Its natural to be scared. After all, you know what this feels like by now. Voice it and let it go...if you need to keep voicing it over and over - do it. Just don't hold it inside.

Merry Christmas mama. Wow! A Christmas baby! I knew somebody was going to have one. I bet your kids are so excited!
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Old 01-04-2005, 05:04 AM
 
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It does sound like some healing is in order and talking/exploring your feelings will help. I also try to remind myself not to dwell on my fears. Acknowledge your feelings but try to turn your mind around on the first thoughts of "Can I do this?" Of coarse you can!! Try to stay positive and relaxed
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