PP Mamas, How are you doing? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 21 Old 02-13-2005, 02:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I wonder how the other new mamas are doing now that baby has arrived. There is just so much to do, I can't seem to keep up. One baby was alot easier than 2, but I think we are doing well.

DD#1 (21 months) seems to love her little sister, but I have to keep her from smothering her w/ hugs and kisses all the time. SHe has also hit her a few times, but we are working on the whole "gentle, easy w/ baby" thing. I am trying to make her feel special, but I feel like the entire day is spent going from one kid to the other (nurse, change diaper, wipe bottom and clean out potty chair, rescue baby from sister, find an activity for #1 to do, and then it's time to nurse again). I am just thankful the baby is so pleasant. She just sleeps, or sits and watches big sister. I have put her in the sling few times, but she really just likes to sit and watch Lacy better.

The housework is starting to pile up, and I just don't have the time/energy to keep up. I hope that's only temporary, and that I can get back in the swing of things soon. So far no baby blues, but maybe that's b/c I'm too busy to be blue? I am using up my frozen foods pretty quick, but still have a few easy dinners left.

And now for how I feel physically, I am still so sore. I don't remember being this sore w/ DD, but this time I had a hematoma, it's like a huge bruise, that they cut to allow it to bleed. It still feels like someone kicked me really hard in the crotch, 12 days after she was born. I had a few tears, and they are healing up very well, and are not giving me any problems. I am still soaking in the tub as much as I can, preferrably every night. I use an ice pack if I get too sore. Maybe squatting down so much to deal w/ DD#1 is making it sore? I try not to pick her up much, but as any mom knows, that's practically impossible. I am still bleeding pretty heavy, too. Last time I was done bleeding by 2 weeks, but I'm still having dark red bleeding? It isn't a whole lot, so I'm not worried, I just thought it would ease up more by now. Also, the pads are giving me blisters I considered cloth, but thought that would be too much for me to deal w/ right after baby. Now I would buy some, but by the time they got here, I probably wouldn't need them. My milk supply is finally starting to even out a bit. I leak like crazy, but I did w/ DD too. One thing I have noticed is that my left side is producing more than the right. W/ DD #1 it was the opposite, the right side produced more :

So, how are the rest of you doing? Any good suggestions on dealing w the discomfort? I am just the grin and bear it sort, so I'm not doing much. I wish I could take it easy, but durring the week everyone works, and I'm on my own. On the weekend, MIL likes to watch DD some, and this weekend my SIL is coming down, and going w/ me to the ped tomarrow b/c I will have both kids. Also, how many of you are out and about already? I went to the bank Friday, but that's the only place I have been so far. Monday I take the kids to the Dr. for a well visit, and I will probably stay home most of the rest of the week.
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#2 of 21 Old 02-13-2005, 04:58 PM
 
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Let's see, for reference, I'm... 16 days pp. DS the first is 28 months. I had a pretty minor tear that my midwife stitched up.

I'm still very tired, and a little sore. Midwife says the cut is healed but still pulling apart a bit - that's why it's uncomfortable to sit. Still bleeding, but not much, and it's definetly tied to how active I am. I like to occasionally use a frozen, witch-hazel soaked rag.
My boobs and nipples are sore but not bad. The baby is a nipple nurser - he likes to open his mouth just a tiny bit, slurp in the nipple while clamping down, and then kind of gnaw. We're working on that! He likes to nurse a little more often than every 2 hours.
My stomach muscles are just now starting to feel less tired.

I have a lot of help, which is absolutely necessary because of my CFIDS, but I think most new moms with toddlers should have help too - I'm so sorry you don't. Please let your housework go as much as you can stand to! Does your dd like to lie down with you and read? That's how I've done a lot of "playing" with ds.
I think I've healed better because I was allowed to mostly stay in bed for two weeks.

We've been happy with ds - he's incredibly active and such a stereotypical Boy - he likes to throw and run and hit - but he's been nothing but loving and gentle with baby Rio. Though he does keep telling us Rio wants a pillow and trying to give him one - which is a bit scary. And he's had moments of regression, pooped in his pants on the way to the bathroom twice in two days, which is as many times as he had poop accidents the entire YEAR before.

And I hear you on the constant demands. diaper, potty, nurse, snack, diaper, nurse, potty, wipe nose, nurse....

I didn't leave the house until my two week check up - then I went to the midwife (baby had gained a pound and a half, yay!) and then goodwill because I'm a thrift store addict. That wore me out. Went to lunch with a friend the next day - also very tiring. I like sticking close to home right now. And today the sun finally came out so we've been in the front yard, me nursing on the porch, all morning.
Good luck to you, take care of yourself.
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#3 of 21 Old 02-13-2005, 05:14 PM
 
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I'm farther PP than both of you, almost 8 weeks. My physical discomfort eased up really quickly (tiny baby, no tears). In fact, easier than the first, during which I think I bruised or broke my tailbone. The afterpains were bad for a few days, but manageable with Motrin. The PP bleeding lasted quite a while, bright red for at least 2 weeks, then continued in lesser amounts until last week. I still have blood clots in my right arm from the IV infitrating, which I need to make an appointment to see my OB about, because it is starting to freak me out.

I'm so so lucky to have dh home with me this whole time, and since he has been a SAHD with our first, they have a deep connection. He's been basically doing almost everything for her excpet nursing, while I do a lot of the new baby care. The thing that is so hard is that Hazel isn't taking to breastfeeding well, since she was a preemie, and I have to nurse her and then supplement with EBM in a bottle. Which means that I'm either nursing hazel, nursing Melanie, pumping milk, bottlefeeding Hazel, or changing her diaper a good portion of the day. Plus she has reflux, so she vomits after every feeding, so she needs tons of clothing changes and baths so she won't smell like sour milk all the time.

Emotionally I'm having a bit of a hard time. I love Hazel, but haven't fallen "in love" with her yet. I know this takes time, it did with Mel. I think it's taking longer because Hazel is esentially a newborn and won't smile for weeks, and she was in the hospital so long that bonding was interrupted, and the nursing thing. I still feel that I will never love her as much as I do my first, and while it hurts my heart to even type that, I also know that it will go away as I fall in love with her.

I'm terrified of going back to work, especially since I have a meeting with my principal this Wed. in which I think I'm going to get fired. Even if I don't get fired outright, they are going to try to place a lot of unreasonable demands on me if I want to keep my job for he next year (which I don't, I'm planning to resign and SAH). I'm very worried about money and insurance, because dh is planning to go back to work but doesn't have as much education or as many job skills as I do, so her won't be making as much money. In fact we may take a pay cut of 30% or more this year, plus start paying for my insurance and the girls' out of pocket. This frightens me, but I also know that if I don't SAH now, I will never get the chance to do so with a baby, Hazel is our last. And, since I've more or less decided to stop teaching, I have to decide what I want to do with myself in the next 2-3 years, since I know that dh can't support us forever. I'm seriously considering law school, but also have huge reservations about the work commitment required and the massive student loan debt.

Okay, so this has more to do with all my issues than strictly how I am doing PP! But all this is of course affecting how I am feeling right now and how I take care of Hazel. I'm so glad she is home with us at last! I'm totally with you both on excursions being a major undertaking, especially with packing the diaper bag and getting 2 out the door and into carseats.
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#4 of 21 Old 02-13-2005, 07:14 PM
 
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Lousli, it sounds like you're having a hard time. I'm sorry. It must have been so draining, all the time Hazel was in the hospital. And I agree, it's a strange thing when you already have a child you adore, to think that somehow love will expand to cover them all. I was worried about taking away from ds. And though some mamas fall head over heels right away, I don't quite. That makes me feel a little guilty, too. I mean, I loved both my boys right away, but that love deepens so much, and now I know how much, so I have something to compare it to.
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#5 of 21 Old 02-16-2005, 12:09 PM
 
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Physically I'm doing great, my c-section healed remarkably quick and I haven't had any pain from it since about 10 days pp. I had stopped bleeding, but then dh and "resumed relations" and the bleeding came back--I suppose that's my body's way of telling me it's a little too soon for nookie. It was so weird though, I mean will I ever have a normal sex life again?? I found it very strange reaching into the co-sleeper in the middle of things to offer the baby a finger to suck on while her dad "finished up" :
Emotionally I'm having more trouble, Molly is sick and that's taking a huge toll on my mentally. I can't help but feel responsible and think that if she was breastfed she wouldn't have any of these problems--I know, I know, breastfed babies get sick too, but we'll never know if Molly would have been completely healthy if I'd been able to breast feed her.
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#6 of 21 Old 02-16-2005, 02:11 PM
 
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I'm about 4 days PP, and things are going surprisingly well! I did have a couple of meltdowns yesterday & the day before, though - mostly having to do with kids coming in & being loud, not helping each other, and trashing the house because I'm not out there directing their every move : So we had a talk yesterday when DH came home for lunch & housecleaning, and I told them all that I have NEVER had a real take-it-easy postpartum period before, but that I fully intend to this time because they are all old enough to take over the household responsibilities for a few weeks so I can rest & care for the new baby. So once they got it through their thick skulls that I will NOT be getting out of bed to fix breakfast, or change toddler diapers, or put laundry in the washing machine, or whatever it is that they've been expecting me to do, things have been running a lot smoother.

Physically, I haven't had anything much to recover from, really. I had a few days of horrendous afterpains (yes, they truly felt like labor contractions, and the pain radiated all the way down to my KNEES!), but those have gone away, and I'm only dealing with the bleeding. But that's not too bad - I've been anle to wipe normally since the birth (no tearing at all, so I didn't need to do the whole peri-bottle thing), and I have the prettiest stash of postpartum pads, it's been fun picking out which one to use next

My milk came in on Sunday night, and I've been pretty engorged, especially at night - Bobby will sleep a couple 3-hour stretches in the night/early morning - but DH is bringing home my breast pump this afternoon, so I intend to pump off the excess & store it. (I don't ever give bottles - I'm going to save it for a batch of soap :LOL) Nipples were sore until today - he's got such a teeny mouth, and my nipples are so monstrous, he was just chomping down on half the nipple a lot of the time! But his latch & grip are improving, and the pain has gone away. I've got mighty tough nipples, anyway

I have had a constant headache since yesterday, and that's been making me cranky. But that's from a tooth I broke a couple days before the birth. I just need to heal up, and I can go get that fixed. I hope they just yank it - I do NOT want to pay for or deal with another stinkin' crown!
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#7 of 21 Old 02-17-2005, 01:34 PM
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morning pp mamas. i'm now 19 days pp. wow. it's already going so fast. i have to go back to work in less than a month. ugh!!!

physically, i'm doing pretty well. had the pains like you stell, but it all went away after about a week. the bleeding is the most disturbing thing. mine has continued red until yesterday. i hope it's stopped. definitely linked to activity.

emotionally, it's been sort of a roller coaster. lousli - i can understand how you feel. i love james so much and he is at such an adorable age right now (i think he's just a little younger than mel). the baby is tiny and awesome, but not as engaging as he is right now -- i mean, half the time she is sleeping and when she is awake, she's usually crying to nurse or looking at light patterns (maybe it's just mia, but there is none of the gazing-at-mama's face going on yet). like you said, i love her and will fall in love with her as we grow together, but it is odd. i also sort of connect this to her being sick - like i didn't take good enough care of her (and was too permissive in letting james hug and kiss her all the time) so she caught james's cold.

i've also been pretty down about the situation with my dad (who lives with us and has early/mid-stage alzheimer's). he's been worse and i am just having constant nightmares and anxiety attacks about what's next. plus, i am having a hard time dealing with him day to day (the other night, he was sitting with us after dinner and he doesn't watch tv because he doesn't understand what's going on, and i just felt really weirdly resentful and angry and i just wanted him to leave so it could just be me, dh, james, and the baby).

anyway, i'm glad things are going well with you stell. the other kids sound like they are going to be big helps (esp now that they understand that you are not making breakfast, etc.).

sophia - i'm glad to hear that you are doing well and have help. that is such a difficult disease (my mil and favorite cousin both have it). the back garden and the sun sound wonderful!

by the way, anybody else obsessed with chocolate and shopping? somehow i feel that these things will make me feel better!
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#8 of 21 Old 02-18-2005, 02:03 AM
 
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Terenia, Chocolate chip oatmeal cookies are in the oven as I type! And the shopping bug is bad too, especially since we have to be careful with finances now.

It does sound like many of us are having it rough right now. I can't wait until this difficult nursing is a thing of the past and I can sleepily roll over and latch the baby on while lying down!

I have to tell you all what has been helping me a lot is getting out! I'm used to working full time (and then some) and it was quite a change of pace to start being at home all the time. I'm starting to really enjoy it, but I have found that meeting with some fellow MDC'ers and the other friend I have who's son was in the NICU with Hazel has really brightened my spirits. And today I went to my first LLL meeting and it was fantastic. They all listented to my nursing woes and I had about 4 women come up to me and just tell me that I'm doing great and not to give up. That was what I need to hear today. To make things even better, Hazel did a 76ml feeding at the breast today, which is way better than normal (she usually takes only 20-30). So I have hope.

Shannon, I've been keeping up with you about Molly, and I'm thinking of you. If there is anything I can do, let me know. I'm up a lot in the middle of the night so feel free to post if you just need someone to listen to you or give you a hug.

Stell, sounds like things are going pretty well for you, except for the headache and nursing things. You are one strong mama! I'm glad you're getting a "real" post-partum rest this time, you deserve it.

Tug and Lasofia, The transition from one child to two is very strange and emtionally taxing. I'm still adjusting to it, but it is starting to get a little better since I posted before. I'm feeling a little less...well, I don't know if resentful is the right word, but anyway, resentful of the new baby. It has been weird to feel like she's taking me away from Melanie, when I actually thought I'd feel the other way around. I have to admit, I've been a pretty crummy mommy lately to Mel, she's watching a heck of a lot of TV, and playing mostly with her dad. I just am so tired all the time. I know he is too, so that's not an excuse. Of course, he can't nurse Hazel...

Anyway, it has been tough. Getting fired yesterday sucked, but after the inital bad feeling, I'm starting to feel sort of...free. Which is good. And tonight I was upstairs nursing Melanie to sleep and I realized that I sort of missed the baby. I'm starting to fall for her.

Big gentle PP hugs to everyone!
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#9 of 21 Old 02-18-2005, 11:00 AM
 
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Well lets see I am 3 weeks and 2 days pp now and I am still bruised and my bottom still throbs if I sit too long. Also I am worried b/c I haven't really bled since I got home from the hospital and with Korbin I bled solid for 6 weeks and it was really heavy.

I am tired with the trips to the hospital with Kane and staying at the hospital and then we went on leave, and then DH had to go TAD to DC for a meeting I am exausted but that is part of it.

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#10 of 21 Old 02-18-2005, 08:47 PM
 
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I'm 9 days postpartum and doing really, really well. I had a really smooth delivery and no tears this time and feel so incredibly great compared to my last birth!

I'm totally in love with this precious little guy. He has such a calm disposition and just loves to nurse and sleep.

My toddler is having a bit of jealousy and is acting out a bit, but that is totally to be expected.

My emotional issues are that I just LOVE being pregnant, giving birth, etc. so much that I find myself looking to when we will get pregnant again! I need to slow down and enjoy this time with my precious little miracle here.

I hope those of you having a rougher PP period are doing better. 's
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#11 of 21 Old 02-19-2005, 12:08 AM
 
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I'm one day PP and I'm feeling pretty good. I was feeling really rough yesterday...just real weak from loss of blood, lack of sleep, and not eating. I feel much better today with great food and lots of water. My body is really sore...I feel like I went a couple of rounds with a boxer. My ribs, all the muscles in my legs, even my back is sore. All the straining just caught up to me. Still, I feel wonderful and even got a great nap today with the baby. I'm probably not sleeping like I should, but I still feel guilty sleeping during the day, but I'm sure that will pass soon and I'll be napping with the little guy as often as possible.

My parents are here and they are spoiling me rotten. DH took leave until 4 March so he's here and he's being very helpful. I really can't complain. I know I'm very lucky...especially since I didn't even tear. I'm really swollen, but it doesn't even look that bad...I expected it to look much much worse.

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#12 of 21 Old 02-19-2005, 11:01 AM
 
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first congradulations to all the new momma's and little ones for their journey to us...also sending healing vibes to all the little ones that are needing some extra thoughts and the mommas that need extra healing...
I had Yasmeen on Valentines morning and have felt great since...once she came out I felit back to normal instantly...the last trimester really worn me down, but thank God it is a chapter closed...I was blessed with a quick labor,no meds or tears...she is nursing well, my nipples are getting the rough end of it though I must say but its getting better..I didnt sleep literally the first 2 days of her birth and have had a few hours every day all together since....God has a way to make that enough for me which I am very thankful for...dh doesnt really understand the emotional aspect of what I am experiencing with the sensitivity and hormone change, cant have it all right ??? lol Hanna my older one is great with her little sister too, she is 5 and the little momma let me tell you...she did go to my parents house on Thurs night and will come home Sunday..thats been nice also for bonding time with just me and Yasmeen and dh.. im starting to get a little blurry eyed so I am ending this now but do need to get motivated and doing her birth announcement and getting the album finished on snapfish...k, thanks for letting me share..oh ya, I need to post the birth story also...ttfn
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#13 of 21 Old 02-19-2005, 11:49 AM
 
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I will be 4 weeks PP tomorrow and am doing okay. Not great, but not at rock-bottom either. I had severe PPD with my other kids so I'm relieved to see that it's (hopefully) not happening this time. I have been taking Motherwort twice a day, which is helping, I think.

My 3-year old is causing all kinds of stress, much more than the baby. He had potty-trained himself right before the baby was born, but now he's back in diapers. He is going through the "NO!" stage that he somehow missed when he was two, is into everything, and is just in general acting like you'd expect him to act when a new baby comes into the family. Sigh. For some reason I didn't think it would be this bad. It sucks! Plus, he wants to nurse ALL THE TIME and I have the hardest time putting him off. I just don't want to nurse him, though I do 3 or 4 times a day.

My dh was able to take off work for 3 weeks so this was my first week being back on duty full-time. I started off the week doing great, everything was clean, the laundry was caught up...by the end of the week, the house was trashed and everything is dirty. I have managed to cook dinner every night, though. Actually, I have to do it in the morning because by 4:00 in the afternoon Alec is throwing fits from tiredness (because Joe gets us up 3 hours earlier than we're used to) and Joe is throwing fits because he wants to start cluster-nursing. Meanwhile, no homeschooling is happening because all my time is getting taken up by the two youngest kids; my older kids have been kind of on their own and I feel bad about that.

I'm still bleeding, but just a little. I bled 12 weeks after my first birth, 6 weeks after the second, and maybe I'll go 6 weeks again this time, but at least it's not too much. The disposable pads were giving me blisters, too, but I didn't switch to cloth. I do have cloth pads but I can't add more laundry to the pile!

I keep telling myself that everything will be totally different in 6 months. Even in 3 months it will be different. Alec will be used to Joe, Joe will be into his own routine and able to interact more, etc. It doesn't always help to think about it, but sometimes it does!

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#14 of 21 Old 03-04-2005, 03:08 PM
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Just wanted to check in on our group again and see how we're doing PP.

I've been a lot better since i started drinking a smidgin of caffeine again. i feel more motivated and less overwhelmed.

still way to into chocolate and shopping. my next stop will be the sugar addicts thread...

had a weird dream last night that dh was cheating on me. ugh. i imagine it's my insecurity since i've gained so much weight, am not losing the weight quickly, have pinkeye currently (oh yeah!), and we haven't dtd in forever.
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#15 of 21 Old 03-04-2005, 03:25 PM
 
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could be worse Tug, we did the deed, however, I really had no interest and Molly was asleep on my shoulder--I actually said, just hurry up and don't jostle the baby
Oddly, this somehow didn't ruin the moment for him!! MEN!!!!!!!
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#16 of 21 Old 03-13-2005, 09:53 PM
 
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Shannon, you crack me up. That is so funny. Dh wanted to know when we could resume relations again too. I want to, but the tiny tear that I have is stopping me. Not sure whetehr ir has healed yet or not, and oh yes, need to think about taking my pill too!!!

Tug, I am right there with you on the chocolate. Can't get enough of it. I eat it everyday, at laest 3 times a day, the good stuff though, not crap. It was the same last time too. I just need to start getting in the diet and exercise mindset too.

To all the mamas that are having a hard time, just remember that this period will pass, and it won't be like this forever. You are all doing an awesome job. Hugs to you all.

xxx Jasmine

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#17 of 21 Old 03-13-2005, 10:09 PM
 
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5 weeks PP here and things are getting easier. I've been able to keep up pretty well with the housework - although it is annoying how long it takes to get the simplest tasks done. And I still can't seem to find the time to eat healthy food which bothers me. DS#3 is finally starting to adapt to having a baby around and I *think* he might even be starting to like him (but I'm not sure!).

The hardest thing for me is adjusting to being a SAHM full time and DH working a lot more then usual to make up for that. And some days I feel really lonely. I think I need to make some friends with kids.

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#18 of 21 Old 03-13-2005, 11:37 PM
 
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I'm 3 weeks 3 days PP and I feel like I should be back to normal and ready to go at it wih my old energy and energy and enthusiasm. I was working in the garden today trying to rip out the old root systems of the crappy bushes we cut out in the fall. I got winded and dizzy after getting three roots out and had to quit. I'm also thoroughly exhausted. Scott has not been letting me get much sleep. He also has food radar...anytime I sit down to eat he wants to eat...so then I feed him and get distracted and forget to eat.

so I've lost 30 lbs now and I haven't lost it like I should : I'm kind of scared that it's my anorexia trying to manifest, but I'm pretty sure it's just that I'm forgetful because I'm so tired. At least I hope so...I don't need to deal with that crap right now.

Well better run...the infinitely fussy baby cannot be consoled by mere man and mother is required.

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#19 of 21 Old 03-14-2005, 12:26 AM
 
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:LOL Shannon, that sounds a lot like how things are around here!

4 weeks now, and I finally hauled out the swing. I LOOOOVE just sitting & holding Bobby all day, but if I do, no laundry gets done/folded. I'm supposed to be using the swing for meal-prep time, too, but so far I've avoided cooking. So anyway, Bobby goes in the swing for a while in the afternoon, so I can get all the laundry folded & off my bed by bedtime.

I'm not doing too hot with eating, either. It's just easier to sit in bed and not eat than to get up and find something. So I end up stuffing myself with good food whenever I get the chance - I tell myself that it's okay, because I'm building up my reserves At least I can keep a jug of water next to my bed, so I stay hydrated.
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#20 of 21 Old 03-14-2005, 01:29 PM
 
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3 weeks 3 days PP here too and I'm feeling absolutely wonderful! The bleeding has pretty much stopped and my tiny episiotomy hasn't hurt at all since birth and it's pretty much completely healed up. No more hemmorroids either. (woot!)

I've lost 30 POUNDS since birth!! Yeah baby! I freakin love that benefit of breastfeeding! I've been eating so great lately. Now that I'm not pregnant I absolutely love salads and veggies again and we've been chowing fresh salmon and grilled chicken quite a bit. My sweet tooth is insatiable as well. It always is PP. Chocolate is my downfall. It doesn't help that my sister, BIL and niece showed up at my house last night after visiting Hershey, PA and brought a HUGE canister of Hershey kisses. OMG I ate like 15 of them after dinner :

Autumn is sleeping for at least one 4 or 5 hour stretch in the middle of the night, so I'm losing my zombie look finally. My house is also cleaner than it's ever been before. I think it's the fact that I don't have to go to work anymore that is motivating me to stay organized and become a neat freak lately. I actually take pride in cleaning the house...that's bizarre for me :LOL
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#21 of 21 Old 03-14-2005, 02:54 PM
 
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I am approaching 5 weeks PP and am doing pretty well. If I could change only one thing it would be to keep dd and ds (3) from screeching or making other loud noises when baby is sleeping. Driving me nuts!

I'm also starting to feel a little cabin feverish and cannot wait until spring when we can all go outside a bit more.

Uh oh gotta run baby waking. Will stop back later....
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