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Tummy tuck - am I crazy?

3K views 56 replies 32 participants last post by  Alvenchrst 
#1 ·
I've been rather obsessed with my loose belly in the last couple years and from what I heard it can only be fixed with tummy tuck. I've had two vaginal births about 18 months apart and my tummy was pretty stretched. DH thinks I'm crazy to want to go get cut open just to have a tighter tummy. He think my body is very nice. Sometimes I think I must be crazy, too. Other times I look at my body in the mirror and that's the only part on my body that's not firm, and I know exercises won't make it go away.
I used to be an art student and I guess I'm kind of a perfectionist. My body doesn't have stretch marks, cellulite or any sort of sagging, it's just this belly is sticking out.

Now if tummy tuck doesn't leave a big long scar I'd be all for it, but I've never had any surgery and my body so far is perfect. I'm not sure what I want to do. I guess I have a few options:
1. get over it and love my loose belly
2. exercise a lot and hope it would be smaller (thought the muscles are a bit separated so that's not too easy)
3. get a tummy tuck and get over the scar fear
4. explore other options - is there any?

I know for many people, wearing shaping underwear is an option but I don't want that no matter what. I miss the feeling of my little waist fitting loosely in my clothes. Any opinions / ideas /experiences? Talk me out of it or into it.
 
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#2 ·
If you are okay with it, maybe post a photo so we can tell you if it is loose skin that can be helped with exercise or loose skin that will not budge.

I have some loose skin, but not much. I have come to think of it as my tattoo for motherhood. This is me, this is my body and if it that extra skin was gone what would that leave me with?
 
#4 ·
I think you look sexy actually.
You look curvy and feminine to me.

I do think that getting your transverse muscles in shape will tighten up your tummy a lot. I don't think that you'd need to do go the tummy tuck route if you could fix your separation. After that, I think it wouldn't be that hard to firm up your middle.

I'm in the same boat as you but I have a whole lot of stretched out belly skin and it's very discouraging. I totally understand where you're coming from. The good news is though, I think you look great the way you are right now.
 
#5 ·
First, you don't seem to realize how beautiful you are so I suspect that if you had the surgery you would still find something that bothers you-- either the shape of your tummy even after surgery or the scar or something else.
So first, I'd say work on feeling good about where you are right now and who you are and what you look like. Then, I'd also agree that work on fixing the separation and getting your transverse muscles in shape and you'll probably see the progress you want to see.

There are women who have folds of skin draping off of them from pregnancies and only surgery will change that...you really don't have that.
 
#7 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by pimama View Post
Hi. I have also been interested in a tummy tuck, but don't think I could actually go through with it

I am curious as to how you fix the separation. I can still fit two fingers between my muscles, and I do have some loose skin too...
Thanks!
Be glad you can find the muscles in order to see how many fingers fit between them!
 
#10 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by pimama View Post
Hi. I have also been interested in a tummy tuck, but don't think I could actually go through with it

I am curious as to how you fix the separation. I can still fit two fingers between my muscles, and I do have some loose skin too...
Thanks!
I did these exercises and they seemed to help me a lot. I had about a finger and a half width of separation. I copied this off the internet but I originally got the exercises from a book I had bought after the birth of my first daughter. I can't find it now though. I just remember doing these after she was born and with my second too.

Quote:
Take a long towel and wrap it around your torso with the ends in front. (hold the right side of the towel with your left hand and the left side of the towel with your right hand) As you perform a crunch, pull the ends of the towel towards each other in front of your belly button, which will also urge the muscle back together.

Lie on your back with knees bent and feet flat on the floor. As you exhale, slowly extend one leg along the floor, feeling your abdomen contract below your belly button. Inhale as you return to the starting position. Repeat with the other leg.
If I can think of the book's name I'll come back and post it for you.
 
#11 ·
Lose Your Mummy Tummy is the book I bet you are thinking of. My local library has it so I bet yours may as well.

I looked at your photos and you actually look really good and I would say sexy as well.
I would NOT do a tummy tuck, your figure is really nice and really you do not have alot of extra skin. I would focus more on what the other posters have said and work on your transverse muscles.

What is your height and weight?
Do you exercise, if so what do you do?
 
#13 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by doriansmummy View Post
Lose Your Mummy Tummy is the book I bet you are thinking of. My local library has it so I bet yours may as well.

I looked at your photos and you actually look really good and I would say sexy as well.
I would NOT do a tummy tuck, your figure is really nice and really you do not have alot of extra skin. I would focus more on what the other posters have said and work on your transverse muscles.

What is your height and weight?
Do you exercise, if so what do you do?
Yes, that's the book. Thank you, that was going to drive me nuts.
 
#14 ·
I agree with the others. You look great. You could most likely tone up more with the right kind of exercises.

Surgery isn't fun. I've had 4 operations, and they are painful and tough. Recovery sucks. And it will leave a scar. I can't imagine doing it recreationally!

I think that you have some work to do on loving yourself and loving your body. This isn't just about your tummy. It's about learning to really love and value yourself, not just for how you look, but for who you are. And loving your body for what it can do, not just what it looks like.
 
#15 ·
Oh, you can tighten that up just fine, I wouldn't do surgery for that!

My weight has gone up and down from hypothyroid and you wouldn't believe how much loose skin and flab I saw bounce back at one time. Right now I'm in a bit of a flabby state again and at my age I'm not as sure it's going to bounce back as nicely this time, but I'm still going to try to bellydance it back before I resort to surgery, since I saw it happen before.


I had a good 80 lb gain and loss that tightened back up in my late 30s to early 40s after I'd carried it around for several years. What you've got there really isn't that bad. Don't go under the knife just yet.
 
#16 ·
Mama, I just had to throw one last thought in here for you. My mom had a tummy tuck, and while it did flatten out her tummy, her tummy looks...strange. It LOOKS like she had work done there. Frankly, I agree with the others that you can change quite a bit with the exercise, and that even if you couldn't, you do have a beautiful body. I don't think a tummy after a tummy tuck looks any better than your belly does now, it just looks...different. KWIM?

Also, the recovery was very difficult and painful. She'd do it again, but she was much heavier than you are, and she had a pregnancy in the 70s that went way past term (it's a long story, but they insisted that she had her dates wrong, and she never went into labor on her own). IMO, in your case, no, I wouldn't have that kind of major surgery.
 
#17 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Linda on the move View Post
I agree with the others. You look great. You could most likely tone up more with the right kind of exercises.

Surgery isn't fun. I've had 4 operations, and they are painful and tough. Recovery sucks. And it will leave a scar. I can't imagine doing it recreationally!

I think that you have some work to do on loving yourself and loving your body. This isn't just about your tummy. It's about learning to really love and value yourself, not just for how you look, but for who you are. And loving your body for what it can do, not just what it looks like.
I think this is a beautiful statement. I think you look great, and I sense you need to hear that. I am going to probably get slammed for this, but it looks like you have had your breasts done too. My sister has, and I know a few others and from the pictures the bottom of your breasts look like after a breast augmentation. If not then consider it a compliment LOL! I think one surgery sucks you in to a dangerous territory that woman don't think they will be. If I had some gross deformation or something that affected my functioning fully that I thought the benefits FAR exceeded the risks, then I would do it. Not a tummy tuck on a beautiful body that has bore children
 
#18 ·
Thank you for all the replies! Honestly I don't know too much about fitness. I don't even know what transverse muscle is. We usually go swimming once a week, and have walks about 3 times a week. Sometimes I do a few push-ups and sit-ups, not very consistently. I've never done anything specifically to tone my tummy. I didn't know you can work on separated stomach muscles. I'll definitely look into that. I think if I can make it look flatter, the wrinkled skin is OK. The pool we go to is usually full of pre-teens and teens. You don't see too many non-perky bodies there. Sometimes I just wish I can look as good as those 15 year olds. It's silly I know. I don't care about fashion or wear makeup. My looks or lifestyle has never been mainstream, but somehow I just want a flat tummy.

I've never weighed more than 110 lbs, other than during pregnancy, and that's genetic, not due to diet or exercises. My breasts are perky, because they shrank to nearly flat after nursing, there's just not enough matter to sag. My tummy bounces more than my breasts when I run, and I don't usually wear bra.
:

I guess I should really figure out how to exercise properly to tone the tummy first and try hard, before thinking about surgery. Is it REALLY possible to lose the mommy tummy, even after a few years? Many people told me it'll always be there.
 
#19 ·
Hi!! I wanted to reply on this thread since a TT is something that I am considering, and have been researching for a few years.

I can see that the skin is maybe a little loose compared to what I imagine (from your pic) it was before kids. But it's really really not bad at all.

It seems like it's the shape, not the TINY wrinkle that bothers you? That is absolutely bodyfat and fitness levels. You can lose that by tightening abdominals and losing fat. Period.

My subjective opinion (and I totally love fitness athletes and bodies) is that AS IS your body looks incredible. SO sexy. I'm not just saying that to be nice, since there isn't even a need for me to reply to this thread.

Look into something like callanetics or http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/meriam/ for tightening and flattening your muscles, and the rest of the flatness has to come from loss of bodyfat. I don't think you're in the least bit overweight, just saying that beyond the muscle tone, it's fat under the skin that is creating the shape. I can say that after the thousands of pictures I've seen, your skin is not in need to a tummy tuck


It's really possible to lose the mummy tummy. The only thing that is NOT possible to lose is the stretchmarks and skin sag - if you are genetically predisposed to that and your skin looks beautiful really. It'll take work but you can do it.
 
#20 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Poddi View Post
OK, just took some pictures. I didn't use flash so it's a bit blurry, but you can see the shape better.

My tummy - Relaxed

My tummy - sucked in

Uuumm... You look gorgous are you kidding me! Oh mama love your belly. I think you could firm up with exersice I would not get a tummy tuck if I were you. Now if I were me... LOL that's another story
you don't even have a flap!
 
#21 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Poddi View Post
Thank you for all the replies! Honestly I don't know too much about fitness. I don't even know what transverse muscle is. We usually go swimming once a week, and have walks about 3 times a week. Sometimes I do a few push-ups and sit-ups, not very consistently. I've never done anything specifically to tone my tummy. I didn't know you can work on separated stomach muscles. I'll definitely look into that. I think if I can make it look flatter, the wrinkled skin is OK. The pool we go to is usually full of pre-teens and teens. You don't see too many non-perky bodies there. Sometimes I just wish I can look as good as those 15 year olds. It's silly I know. I don't care about fashion or wear makeup. My looks or lifestyle has never been mainstream, but somehow I just want a flat tummy.

I've never weighed more than 110 lbs, other than during pregnancy, and that's genetic, not due to diet or exercises. My breasts are perky, because they shrank to nearly flat after nursing, there's just not enough matter to sag. My tummy bounces more than my breasts when I run, and I don't usually wear bra.
:

I guess I should really figure out how to exercise properly to tone the tummy first and try hard, before thinking about surgery. Is it REALLY possible to lose the mommy tummy, even after a few years? Many people told me it'll always be there.
Man, I hear you about being around all the young girls and wanting the flat tummy back. I feel that way a lot too. I really have body issues myself and I totally understand how looking so much different then you used to look is really a huge head trip.

Listen to what Meg_s said because she really is right. I am willing to guarantee that you see yourself way differently then we do. You really have a beautiful body. Honest. I think that the hardest thing for me was to believe my dh and friends when they said that I didn't look bad after having my second baby. My dh loves me and my body but I'm the one who has to live with it you know. I'm the one that has to love it and it really doesn't matter what other people think I look like. It's really hard to embrace the mommy tummy. I'm not there yet either. LOL.

Okay, this is what I've been doing and it's helping me a lot. I still have my tummy but for the first time I am feeling like it's not hopeless. So, first you have to fix your separation otherwise any abdominal exercises are going to make it much worse. That book Loose Your Mummy Tummy is a good one for helping you fix the separation. Check out your library and if they don't have that one then they may have a different one that gives you the exercises to fix the separation. I do think that book is worth buying though if your library doesn't have anything. Once you get that fixed then you can do normal exercises without worrying about your tummy getting larger.

We have Netflix so I went there and put a bunch of workout videos on my queue and I test them before I buy something. I found some videos that I really like. Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred is my fav right now. My legs are actually starting to look really good. Nothing going on in the tummy area yet but I'm liking my legs right now.


Good luck, you can do this no problem. I also think that it shouldn't be too hard for you either, your tummy isn't bad at all so I think after you fix the separation you'll start seeing results soon after you start some sort of exercise routine.
:
 
#22 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Poddi View Post
I didn't know you can work on separated stomach muscles. I'll definitely look into that. I think if I can make it look flatter, the wrinkled skin is OK. ....

I guess I should really figure out how to exercise properly to tone the tummy first and try hard, before thinking about surgery. Is it REALLY possible to lose the mommy tummy, even after a few years?
Your body won't every look the same as it did before kids, and comparing yourself to 15 years old is a recipe to always feel disatisfied. However, after 2-cections I carried around 70 extra pounds for a decade, and then deciced to lose the extra weight and get in shape. I'm at a good weight now and my tummy looks flat in clothes. I'll never wear a bikini again, but I look great.

I do astanga/vinyassa yoga several times a week. I credit yoga for healing the separation in my abs. I lift free weights twice a week (The New Rules Of Lifting for Women will tone up your body in ways you can't imagine). And I do some kind of cardio 4 or 5 times a week.

It sounds like up til now you've been able to get away without exercising so you haven't learned how. Exercise has so many benefits for our bodies beside how it makes us look. It makes us healthier, it helps us age better, it keeps us happier, it has the potential to help us feel better about our bodies because we think of them in terms of what they can do, not just how they look.

I think that there is a middle path between being resigned to always having the mommy tummy and trying to look like a teenager. I think it's possible to look like an all grown up woman with who's been blessed with children and still look healthy, fit, and hot.
 
#23 ·
One other thing, and please don't take offense but it will probably sound blunt
. My stomach looked like yours once. You look thin and feminine, just a bit out of shape. You could *totally* have a really nice stomach area. Mine looked about like that, not bad, just not in shape and now it's pretty flat and thin. Last summer it was very defined, right now I have little work to do after gaining a few pounds of the winter and not caring about abs, drinking too much wine, etc. I weighed over 200 pounds after my last child, so it wasn't like all i had to lose was baby weight! Obviously like everyone said you can never have 100% your body back because things move after child birth. You're fortunate to obviously have a good makeup because you look good.

I would post a picture of myself so you can see what I mean if I knew how.

I should edit to add: I still have a tiny "pocket" (how sexy is that term
?) of skin with a little faded stretch mark, but it's just above my pubic bone really low on my lower abs. It's still covered by a bikini underwear, and I obviously am not walking around in a bikini swim suit anymore anyways!! I still could look *better* but I don't know if I care so much. I find myself wanting to lift weights more lately so maybe i'll become a bit more toned.
 
#24 ·
I wish I had taken pics when mine tightened back up, because now I'm a mess again and have to get back in shape and can't prove it to you.


Seriously, I carried around a good 80 lbs for about 5 years and it snapped back just fine. Even now, as old as I am, I'm not that worried that I can't get it back into shape with a little work.

Don't go under the knife for something so minor. I had a major flap that tightened up without surgery, and you don't even have that.
Trust me, it was bad.


I really have a hard time believing the human body can't recover from much of anything after seeing what mine did.
 
#25 ·
Mine looks a lot like that, except with more stretch marks. There is NO WAY I would consider a tummy tuck. I don't want the complications from surgery, and I know that I would hate the scar. Plus, I think I can probably mostly make it look normal through exercise - I bet you could also.
 
#26 ·
You actually have a beautiful figure!! I can relate, as I have more loose skin than you do... and it is a little lopsided to boot! My second son always lay on one side of the belly! I noticed that the best benefit to my tummy skin was a combo of eating more raw foods and veggies, excercise and skin brushing. My sretch marks will never disappear, but the combo of good food and skin brushing made a huge difference. It seemed to help the fat just under the surface of the skin to mobilise. I gained back about 20 pounds in the last year because I have had to eat things that my body is sensitive to because of financial reasons... the skin has gone back to looking looser again with it.

My MIL got a tummy tuck last year and ended up getting an infection. Her very hard 6 week recovery turned into 4 months of recovery. It also left her with crater holes in her stomach where the infection was. Sorry if this is awful sounding, but I think that it is so important to think of the risk that surgery entails. Infection is a very real possibility and may leave you truly disfigured. She could get another surgery to try to repair the damage, but is afraid of doing it again. Plastic surgery has become so common place that the reality that there are actual risks and stress that it puts on your body is often swept aside.

Truly, you do look gorgeous mama! There is no right or wrong answer to your question, but I hope that you see the beauty of your body as it is too!
 
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