Is there an Emotional Eating tribe? - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 82 Old 01-30-2010, 06:30 PM
 
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subbing so I can come back and post tomorrow

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#62 of 82 Old 01-31-2010, 12:14 AM
 
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I am wondering if I one of those who belong to this tribe. There is a possibility though

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#63 of 82 Old 01-31-2010, 05:19 PM
 
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I belong here.

When I can't sooth DS (meaning he isn't hungry and he doesn't have a dirty diaper but is just crying, as it seems, to cry or because something else is wrong I can't figure out- he doesn't want my boob he just wants to scream bloody murder) I personally get really upset, I feel out of control because I can't read his mind to fix what is wrong and I start to binge as a reaction to him crying. I just eat and eat mindlessly as a way to sooth myself and always end up feeling like crap after.

I binge to sooth myself because I am upset that he is upset and I feel like a bad mom that I can't 'fix' whatever it is he is crying about so to deal with it and I get even more stressed because my DH loses it when DS is crying.. so I stuff my face, it has NOTHING to do with ME being hungry- I eat fine, I have big dinners I am just binging and eating mindlessly every night because of stress and as a way to cope.. I know I am doing it but I can't stop..

I really want to break my binging cycle, but because it doesn't have to do with restricting at all, it is purely emotional, I am having trouble figuring out how to stop my mindless binges when they are 110% related to my emotions not my stomach..

My DS crying is the clear trigger to my binges when I can't 'fix' whatever it is he is upset about, which is often.. .. .. what do I do to stop my binging? I am sick of overeating and I am sick about beating myself up and feeling bad about myself after.. its a terrible cycle to be in.. I am holding on my pregnancy weight because of it, and it just makes me feel worse...

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#64 of 82 Old 02-02-2010, 03:23 PM
 
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Originally Posted by ithappened View Post
My DS crying is the clear trigger to my binges when I can't 'fix' whatever it is he is upset about, which is often.. .. .. what do I do to stop my binging? I am sick of overeating and I am sick about beating myself up and feeling bad about myself after.. its a terrible cycle to be in.. I am holding on my pregnancy weight because of it, and it just makes me feel worse...
At this age sometimes when they need something else but they smell mom's milk, it's not comforting them, and they can get in a tizzy. My babe did this because he was reacting to something I was eating and then the milk wasn't comforting him. I gave him over to my teen son or my husband and he learned to find comfort in them. But it wasn't easy at first because he really hated to go to my husband.

It took a weekend on my husband's chest on the couch with crying for most of the first day for Lachlan to "get" that daddy meant comfort. I took him for feedings and gave him back in between where he slept on hubs or cried on hubs.

I would try two things: an elimination diet (ask someone here on MDC how) to find out if your beeb is reacting to your food choices and also for your partner to kick the stress habit and accept that babies cry. Those are two things you two CAN change together. You can't always stop a baby from crying, but you can stop your reactions to it. Good luck, mama!!

Almost a b-ball team: : Taylor -14, Alex -11, Jack -8, Lachlan born at home 11/15/07
"Well behaved women rarely make history"
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#65 of 82 Old 02-02-2010, 03:25 PM
 
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Originally Posted by academama View Post
GinaRae, I'm sorry you're feeling the inertia. Are there any OA meetings near you?
Yes, two of them really close and one about 20 minutes away. The timing of the meetings is so hard to commit to with hubs' job.

Almost a b-ball team: : Taylor -14, Alex -11, Jack -8, Lachlan born at home 11/15/07
"Well behaved women rarely make history"
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#66 of 82 Old 02-02-2010, 09:41 PM
 
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:
My DS crying is the clear trigger to my binges when I can't 'fix' whatever it is he is upset about, which is often.. .. .. what do I do to stop my binging? I am sick of overeating and I am sick about beating myself up and feeling bad about myself after.. its a terrible cycle to be in.. I am holding on my pregnancy weight because of it, and it just makes me feel worse...
First off, a big hug to you. I can relate so much to what you're feeling and going through.
I just noticed that you just recently had your baby and am writing to let you know that you really need to give yourself alot more time before worrying about getting back to your pre-pregnancy weight.
I am struggling alot every morning that I look in the mirror as my body has changed so much since the birth of my dd seven months ago.
I long for the old me, but yet am starting to realize and accept that it might never be the same. Which is ok. I am starting to explore just where the need to be skinny and "perfect" comes from. Our bodies just underwent a major task and I am realizing I need to be more gentle with myself or I will drive myself crazy.

I know exactly how you feel as I tend to binge quite often. Especially when I am stressed and can't take the time out to eat slowly and mindfully.
It's so hard. But please be gentle with yourself and give yourself time to accept the new you. Good luck!

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#67 of 82 Old 02-03-2010, 12:26 AM
 
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I never really thought of myself of an emotional eater, but now that I reflect on it I do use food or food deprivation when I am stressed out. I have always been able to keep myself under control by staying active, but being a SAHM is killing my good habits. I have been having a hard time losing weight pp and it is doing a number on my self esteem, especially when other pp women I know lost it in a heartbeat. I exercise a lot and my muscle tone increases, but the fat isn't budging.

My biggest problem is that I eat when I am bored or feeling cabin fever. The more I try not to munch the hungrier I get, and then I need to munch A LOT. I really need to focus on overcoming this problem.

Mum to DS1 7/09 and DS2 5/11

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#68 of 82 Old 02-03-2010, 09:24 AM
 
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I just noticed that you just recently had your baby and am writing to let you know that you really need to give yourself alot more time before worrying about getting back to your pre-pregnancy weight.
I guess my fear is how long I can 'let it slide' before it just becomes permanent.. I am afraid of not waiting long enough and I am afraid of waiting too long...

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#69 of 82 Old 02-08-2010, 11:54 PM
 
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My husband is leaving me this year. He hopes to be out by June. He just decided in the last couple of days that this is it finally. I'm a SAHM and I'm freaking out about how that's going to continue. It's not like we're abusive or drinkers or bad parents or anything.. I am just not the unicorn he has always wanted and we're both emotionally crippled from childhood, I guess. It's not perfect, so he wants to go. Sorry, TMI for a group of strangers... I am just really really.. it's all so heavy.

You would think I'd be eating my heart out, literally, with binges but apparently I only eat emotions I cannot identify. These emotions are raw and identifiable so I haven't eaten much in the past couple of days. When my first marriage broke up years ago I lost 100 pounds. My husband had the nerve to point that out last night, as if it's a bonus... like now I can lose weight.

Almost a b-ball team: : Taylor -14, Alex -11, Jack -8, Lachlan born at home 11/15/07
"Well behaved women rarely make history"
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#70 of 82 Old 02-09-2010, 12:30 AM
 
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~~Kristina~~ Mama to DS(10/30/01), DD1(VBAC 3/28/04) and DD2(HBAC 5/21/06)
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#71 of 82 Old 02-09-2010, 10:35 AM
 
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My husband had the nerve to point that out last night, as if it's a bonus... like now I can lose weight.
some men...

I am sorry.. this all sounds like a lot at once.

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#72 of 82 Old 02-09-2010, 11:47 AM
 
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GinaRae. You have a lot going on.

You don’t owe them an explanation, just a response.
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#73 of 82 Old 02-09-2010, 01:29 PM
 
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Originally Posted by GinaRae View Post
My husband is leaving me this year. He hopes to be out by June. He just decided in the last couple of days that this is it finally. I'm a SAHM and I'm freaking out about how that's going to continue. It's not like we're abusive or drinkers or bad parents or anything.. I am just not the unicorn he has always wanted and we're both emotionally crippled from childhood, I guess. It's not perfect, so he wants to go. Sorry, TMI for a group of strangers... I am just really really.. it's all so heavy.

You would think I'd be eating my heart out, literally, with binges but apparently I only eat emotions I cannot identify. These emotions are raw and identifiable so I haven't eaten much in the past couple of days. When my first marriage broke up years ago I lost 100 pounds. My husband had the nerve to point that out last night, as if it's a bonus... like now I can lose weight.
GinaRae! I hope this will eventually turn into a positive experience- I don't mean about weight loss, but maybe having a negative relationship out of your life.

On a side note, I had to laugh at your location. I lived in Humboldt for 5 years, so I have to say I miss that fog!

Mum to DS1 7/09 and DS2 5/11

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#74 of 82 Old 02-09-2010, 04:58 PM
 
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Thanks, girls.
It's such a weird situation. I am SURE a lot of emotional issues around our relationship have added weight, but nothing I couldn't have learned to deal with if we'd gotten some counseling. Overall we're actually pretty awesome together. Nothing a little fine tuning wouldn't fix. None of it makes sense, really. I do understand him (as much as you can I guess) and there are a couple of pieces of the puzzle that never seemed to fit and so that's where it ends, I guess. Like fundamental issues. I don't think he (or maybe both of us) are capable of doing our best when we're under the same roof.
As someone mentioned though, there will be positives in there too. I need to focus on those. He's a great dad and with less stress, he will be even better. I just need to quell the panic that I am going to have to find a place in this crazy expensive town, possibly put my toddler in daycare, find a career, on up to the whole dying alone thing.

Almost a b-ball team: : Taylor -14, Alex -11, Jack -8, Lachlan born at home 11/15/07
"Well behaved women rarely make history"
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#75 of 82 Old 02-10-2010, 01:40 PM
 
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ha! I lived in Arcata for 2 years! I miss the big trees

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#76 of 82 Old 02-12-2010, 08:38 PM
 
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I think I belong here. For as long as I remember, I have eaten emotionally. I'm not always aware that I'm doing it, because I am not the greatest at recognizing or putting my emotions into words. Additionally, I think that I always feel physically hungry, even when I should feel full (does that make any sense?). So, when I try to diet, WW or whatever, I can never get past that only eat when hungry thing, cause I'm always hungry. I wonder if this is a physical manifestation of my emotions. Does anybody else have this experience? I do know that I eat out of boredom, depression, etc.
I had a baby about 6 months ago. When I delivered, I was at 15lbs over my pre preg weight (I lost 15 lbs in the 1st trimester, so a total gain of about 30 lbs). I lost all of that weight in the first few PP days, but since then I have gained at least 20 lbs! Who gains weight after the baby, ugh! I think that many things have contributed, like not doing so much cooking, or getting out of the house as much, but also the stress of having the new baby and mild PPD have contributed.
I would like to lose weight and get my eating in check. We're moving to a new apartment soon, and the kitchen set up there will be much more conducive to cooking, so I'll be able to make more healthy foods. So that will help. And hopefully the weather will be getting better soon, so that will make getting out and exercising/ seeing sunshine easier. Hopefully, these things will help me feel better, so that I can work on the eating aspect.
I'm not really sure the point of my post, but I helps to say these things "out loud." Like some of the previous posters, I really want to avoid passing food issues on to my daughter. So hopefully getting support from others will help. Thanks for posting this topic.

New mom to baby girl A 08/16/09; 2 cats A and H; and partner to R since 2000.
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#77 of 82 Old 02-12-2010, 10:12 PM
 
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Welcome aetnea and congrats on your new little one . One of the most important things you can do is to figure out how your body feels when it's truly hungry, rather than how it feels when it just wants to eat. I think it's different for everyone, but I know I get a little irritable and lightheaded when I'm hungry, and if I go longer without eating, I get an awful gnawing sensation in my stomach. It's a totally physical sensation, and completely different than the feeling I get when I want to eat for emotional reasons. My suggestion is to let yourself get hungry, and really take note of how it feels. Then ask yourself, "What do I want to eat?" and whatever sounds right at that point of true hunger, eat it! It's a journey, but each day of listening to your body, respecting it's needs, and nourishing yourself is a day closer to being free from emotional eating .

~~Kristina~~ Mama to DS(10/30/01), DD1(VBAC 3/28/04) and DD2(HBAC 5/21/06)
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#78 of 82 Old 02-13-2010, 05:59 AM
 
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I lost all of that weight in the first few PP days, but since then I have gained at least 20 lbs! Who gains weight after the baby, ugh!
Me
All 4 of my boys, I end up losing the preg weight FAST and then gaining 50 pounds!

Almost a b-ball team: : Taylor -14, Alex -11, Jack -8, Lachlan born at home 11/15/07
"Well behaved women rarely make history"
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#79 of 82 Old 02-21-2010, 11:34 AM
 
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In an advert for alli I saw this handy comparison.

real hunger:
grows gradually
you'll eat anything
can wait
you stop when you feel full
you feel good after eating
you feel energized

emotional hunger:
hits suddenly
you crave a specific food (usually high in fat)
needs to satisfied instantly
no amount of food fills you
you feel guilty after eating
you feel heavier


The need to be satisfied instantly stuck out for me because so much of the advice is to wait a set period of time before giving in, that the urge usually passes, figure out in advance how you will cope when the craving hits (call someone).

I know I do not need to be hungry to eat sweets and it is very hard for me to stop once I start. Also, if I get too hungry (real hunger) I get cranky.

February doldrums + injury and I have made a few bad choices lately. I hope this helps somebody else.

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#80 of 82 Old 02-21-2010, 12:25 PM
 
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that list is very interesting as my hunger hits suddenly but cravings creep and last a long time. although I have insulin resistance so maybe that's why?

I've realized that I don't even love sweets, so why eat them? I have been trying to remind myself of that before eating them and stop myself. I'm putting my thoughts into "what really sounds good, what will fill me up without making me stuffed or guilty" .
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#81 of 82 Old 02-21-2010, 01:04 PM
 
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RM, I didn't realize you had insulin resistance. You don't have the build I think of when I hear insulin resistance.

I know once I decide I want something there is no eating around it. I can try waiting but usually I still want whatever it was. The only wait that has helped is just going to bed at night; by morning the craving might be gone. Maybe waiting in the short-term helps with portion control for me?

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#82 of 82 Old 02-23-2010, 02:10 PM
 
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2 weeks ago I was pretty upset and now? I am, pretty happy. Divorce is hard, but it's been a long time coming and we're both great people -- just aren't suited. In fact, in all of our talking, I seemed to have lost a lot of my emotional appetite and lost 10 pounds in about 13 days just from dropping sodas and eating less. I am starting to think as an individual again and starting to be okay with my views on my place in the world. But then the hunger hit when I knew it was time to discuss this with my mother. SO much of my emotional baggage surrounds her and it's not like she is mommy dearest or anything. I just told her yesterday and I am waiting for the fall-out.. in all of this, gaining 2 pounds back and being constantly hungry for the past few days.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Runningmommy View Post
that list is very interesting as my hunger hits suddenly but cravings creep and last a long time. although I have insulin resistance so maybe that's why?

I've realized that I don't even love sweets, so why eat them? I have been trying to remind myself of that before eating them and stop myself. I'm putting my thoughts into "what really sounds good, what will fill me up without making me stuffed or guilty" .
That's me too, though I do love sweets

Almost a b-ball team: : Taylor -14, Alex -11, Jack -8, Lachlan born at home 11/15/07
"Well behaved women rarely make history"
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