What grades does your MIL serve?
DD does not act out in class. She does not flaunt her knowledge. She doesn't stick her hand up to contribute much. She also does not have super fast recall, so taken all together it's not all that obvious she's bored out of her skull. I do think that if here behavior weren't as good, things would be going better for her. I also suspect that if she were a boy, she would already be accelerated a year in math -- the only kids getting any math services are boys...
I also suspect that if she were a boy, she would already be accelerated a year in math -- the only kids getting any math services are boys...
MIL teaches 5th grade. Her district identifies a class of ~30 students who are gifted in reading/language arts and they are together as a homeroom in 4th, 5th and 6th grade. MIL teaches on a team of 3 teachers -- she teaches math, other teachers do social studies and science. Each teacher does a homeroom portion of language arts. So students have Mrs. C. for language arts + math, the other two teachers for social studies and science. You can imagine that many students who are identified as gifted in language arts are also pretty good at math. But not all, of course.
On changing personality to make friends. I'm not suggesting you change personality, more that you help her learn the social skills/queues that come more easily to some children. We have one kid in our house who will go to the y's childcare and make 2 or 3 friends in 20 minutes. The other will only want to sit and read in a corner. I have to work with E on gaining friends and work with L on limiting those friends. No, you cannot invite 15 people to your 4 yo birthday party....
forward motion report: I need to do some. Running over the library to grab a movie for today's class.
I have some phone issues too, especially with people I don't know well or at all. So does DH. It does affect the playdates. But, I really want our house to be a place where the kids hang out, so we need to work on this. And housecleaning.
Bec, I second JayGee's scooter recommendation. DD has had a scooter for about a year and a half and once she really got comfortable balancing on it, the bike riding just came to her very easily. She didn't fall once while learning, it was amazing and seemed way less traumatic than it was for me. She has just learned at 6.5 but we didn't push too hard because I knew that if she fell and got hurt that would be the end of it for a very, very long time.
Thanks Kerc and Geo for the math books suggestions. DD is really into math right now and constantly asks to do math problems at home. She would love the books and I am going to pick up Grapes of Math from the library this afternoon.
I feel guilty even saying this but DD's social struggles are of a different sort. She complains that too many people want to play with her/talk to her and she just wants to be left alone. She would prefer to use the bus ride in the morning to plan what art projects she will do with her free time when she gets to school, but one friend/classmate in particular wants to talk to her and sit with her every day. This classmate has called DD a bully when DD says she doesn't want to play with her, which greatly upsets DD. There are other kids who try to monopolize DD's time ("you have to play with me and can't play with so-and-so") and she is of the opinion that it's better to be friends with everyone. I try to encourage the non-clique-ishness, but also try to teach/remind her that she is not responsible for everyone else's happiness, and that it's reasonable for her to be by herself or play with who she wants to play with as long as she is polite to the others when turning them down. She tends to be upset when she feels someone else is upset with her, and believe me, I know where that road leads, so I want to strengthen the sense that she doesn't always have to please others. The whole thing is hard for me to understand because it is so different from my own experience (not the popular kid) and I am terrible at dealing with/understanding manipulative behavior.
So - I'm reading along with interest but not sure I have anything useful to contribute because my own social skills are not the greatest.
OK must go as DS is here to nurse. Hello to everyone!
Katherine, mama to Emma Kate (7) and Griffin (3)
Kerc - Can Emily come to your MIL's classroom? That sounds seriously cool and supportive!
Wendy - I so hear you on the school issues. We have been told that because Emily isn't disruptive, she appears content, and is cooperative she must be challenged and engaged. I was told at the beginning of the year if she was writing full paragraphs (in addition to the other things), it would be different. At the same time as telling us she was not mature enough for acceleration, she needed to take a more independent hand in self-advocating for her own education, needs to independently check and correct her own work before turning it in, and on and on. It's frustrating and doesn't serve her needs in any way. It has only been in the last month that we have had even the slightest amount of differentiation. She is going to the 1st grade for reading (which, ironically, they have reported that she seemlessly transitions to, apparently mature enough to handle the change in schedule with aplomb). I am ready to pull her and home school.
Not perfect, Just amazing!
My friend finished Boston today in 2:57:25!! I think she was the 63 rd woman overall. I don't think I could run a 200 at that pace!
We're just back from a trip to the (incredibly crazy busy for a weekday in April) zoo with friends. Trying to get motivated to go to the Y for a swim. Would much rather take a nap, though.
Gaye, single mama to Tyler (5/06) and Baxter the labradoodle
Wait...I signed up to DO an Ironman??? I thought I was signing up to go SEE Ironman!
My kids are far more socially adept than I ever was. Courtney is, for lack of a better word, popular in her small school. She's not super outgoing, but was pulled into this group when she started at the co-op as they were the ones she knew from soccer. While I'm glad she has friends, I also think that a lot of the girls she spends time with are just plain not very nice. We talk about this a lot. I'm also glad that this group (7 girls in particular) are being split up for middle school, as I'd like to see her branch out.
Ellie sways from incredibly shy (usually when I'm around) to really outgoing. She hasn't seen to made much of a connection with the other girls in her class, but absolutely adores one little boy. I keep thinking I should ask his mom to meet up at a park or something so they can play and I can get to know her a bit.......but then I'd have to pick up the phone. Playdates are going to be a challenge for her, as I can't trust or expect anyone to safely feed her.
FM: 3.4 hot, sweaty, miserable, dehydrated miles. I realized at about the 1 mile mark that the only beverage I'd had today was coffee. And it was 77 outside (my run last monday? 43. I checked.) I slogged it out as best I could and am now sitting here chugging a ZipFizz. I already feel so much better I'm contemplating going out and doing another mile just to prove I can.
Violet Lane Birth Services Doula care and placenta encapsulation serving Seattle to Mount Vernon
Ds (6, in kindy) seems to be doing fine, but also has no particular best friend and doesn't do much in the way of playdates. I should set things up for him, but... yeah, busy plus phone plus house... I'm just sitting on that bench with y'all.
No forward motion today, but I aspire to a good night's sleep and then a good run in the morning. Dh is out of town tonight so it's just me and the kids, which is a recipe for an early bedtime all around.
A good but tiring workday, today. I'm ready for the end of the semester, I think!
Playdates/social stuff: I have to admit, I am a parent who hates having other kids over to our house. It's mostly because I can't get a handle on the housekeeping issues and I don't want little girls running home to tell their families how messy we are. Intellectually I know (and I've seen) many of their friend's homes far more cluttered, but it's something I just can't get over.
But I still feel that way a lot of the time. I am chronically disorganised. My method of controlling it was to not own very much stuff, but since having kids and a packrat DH it doesn't work out that way anymore.
FM: I ran almost 5 this morning at the crack of dawn and then biked 7 with a friend.
Can anyone tell me how accurate the calorie counter on the garmin is? I put in my weight/height info and I'm using the hr monitor..
I took DS for his 9 month wellness checkup last week and everything looked good. They took his head circumference, and, as usual, we laughed about his big head (Dh's brother has a HUGE head and is 6ft 5 - and my husband has a fairly big head and is over 6 feet)... but then I looked at the charts they give you and his head size is WAY off the charts.. I mean, beyond 100th percentile. The Dr actually retook the measurement and it was a little lower than the tech.. but, mercy, it is still BIG. And then, oh, why did I do this? I googled 'big heads' in infants and I am torturing myself with all the things that are wrong with him (well - you know, *could* be wrong with him).
I'm close to a panic attack. I even emailed my Dr to ask if it was something I should worry about I haven't heard from her. She likely thinks I am a complete loon. But I keep wondering if he's showing any early signs of autism Yesterday we went out for lunch with friends and he was so morose and now I keep thinking that he's losing his very social nature...
I'm so embarrassed for myself... but I need a dingo intervention to help me get out of this panic mode.
mama to DS 7/09 and DS 10/12 and married to DH
Play dates not at home: I've had good mileage calling someone up and saying we're walking to the park, can I take their DC too? The immediacy of it makes the phone easier for me, and it requires no cleaning. I pack snacks and my knitting (or laptop depending how stressed I am...)
memiles ~ re: your DD and food issues with visits. My DS has a good friend who is celiac AND type 1 diabetic with an insulin pump. When she visits, she brings her own snacks, and her Mom gives me a scheduled time for her to eat. No problems .
Luckily, we live in a neighborhood with a ton of kids. It also only has one access road, so there is no through traffic. I feel very safe with DS riding his bike around with friends. There are always kids out to play with and our doorbell rings daily, especially in the summertime. I like it this way because I rarely have to call anyone to set anything up .
DrJen ~ SMOKIN' FAST friend!!!! I dream about running that fast over 26.2 miles!
My appointment with the orthopedic surgeon is on Thursday morning. This will be my 4th opinion (and I've had at least 4 or 5 diagnoses now...) If he can't figure it out, I'm giving up and trading in my running shoes for a new swimsuit.
We've all obsessed about something that MUST be wrong with our kid(s).
My kids all have gigantic heads. I have to buy hats at least two sizes bigger than their 'age' sizes. Let me tell you, birthing them wasn't so easy either.
I am really, really tired. Worked a full day today since dh was able to drop off and pick up ds from preschool. I missed him. I'm used to having him most of the day, and I called like three times after 1 pm and dh was about to me.
I have nothing interesting to say right now. I do believe I may even be going to bed. . Night-night.
"Now bid me run, and I will strive with things impossible." (William Shakespeare -- Julius Caesar)
Violet Lane Birth Services Doula care and placenta encapsulation serving Seattle to Mount Vernon
When DD was born, she had this huge birthmark on her face. I've mentioned it a lot, as it's something constantly in the background of our life. Anyway, she was born and it was shocking and our pediatrician got us an immediate referral to a plastic surgeon who would fix it.... seemed under control.
We went to our first visit with the plastic surgeon when DD was eight days old. The nurse showed us into the examining room and was trying to make casual conversation. She said something like "oh a giant nevus. Pretty scary, huh?" Actually, no, not at that time. But at one week postpartum I spent the rest of the afternoon googling facial nevus complications and managed to find out there were some VERY scary possibilities and complications that would likely result in death within a year. DD doesn't have those complications and, by the way, I still hate that nurse's guts.
Long story to say--don't let anyone else or any random information on the internet freak you out. It's a lot of unnecessary mental energy to spend on what-ifs, at a time when you need to conserve your energy for being an awesome mom.
Things are going well here. It's the first day of DD's vacation, so we did some grocery shopping and then met a friend at the YMCA pool, which is perhaps DD's very favorite activity ever. She's very close to actual swimming, and DS was much less clingy today than usual. I may very well have swimmers by the end of the summer!
Tomorrow I'm going to take my car in to be fixed, which is certain to be shockingly expensive. We'll be on foot for the day, so I hope the weather is nice. Our plan is to drop the car, eat at the next-door coffee shop, and walk to the park to meet our Tuesday playgroup. Maybe wander through the library, too. I'll have to pack plenty of snacks. In the afternoon, the kids and I head to my parents' house for a few days. It's like a little vacation for me, although I can't run there. The hills are so steep, I really screwed up my knees the last time I tried to run. I guess I'd better run tomorrow morning, since I'll be taking the next couple of days off.
I sure have been missing you guys. I'm catching up whenever I'm brave enough to come on MDC, and loving reading along with the conversations about school, social angst, bike riding, etc. Actually, I'd love to participate, but I am really feeling non-chatty these days. Even a little hermit-like. I did want to post back one time today because hopefully by this weekend, I'll be working my way back to running after tearing my meniscus on Good Friday. Bring on the PT!
My surgery is tomorrow, and well, the less said about that, the better. It's been kind of crazy for me and my family lately - my MIL spent the last almost 2 weeks in the hospital, but she's out now and recuperating at home. Battles with the kids, probably all of us were stressed out with my MIL's illness, DH leaving to fly back home, and then me being all gimpy lately. Oh, about the surgery, my surgeon is stuck in the States where he was on vacation! Rather than reschedule, I'm having the second-in-charge surgeon do the surgery. They wanted to do an ACL reconstruction, too, because it is so lax (they called it 'deficient') but that would have entailed more time in the hospital and a muuuuuuch longer recovery. I just said, fix the acute problem and I'll cross that ACL bridge another day. I'm super nervous about the whole thing, especially since I just found out yesterday that they do general anesthesia rather than something more localized but where I could be awake. I hate general anesthesia!! It scares me because I'm afraid I'll wake up and they will have gone ahead and done something more extreme (like the ACL thing!) and I'll be stuck with it. My DH says I'm being kind of irrational. It's possible. I am irrational from time to time.
Oh wait! Didn't I start this whole thing by saying 'the less said about it, the better'??
Please excuse the complete lack of any personals... I can't wait to re-join you guys!
mom to 3 lovely kids
Dd fell out of bed at 230, which woke me up and reminded my tired brain that Curly was in labor when I went to bed. So I went down to the barn to check her--just in time to catch a healthy boy. He was followed, sadly, by a stillborn sibling who had died likely a while ago (days to weeks based on lack of development?) which was backwards and stuck (a real lesson to me that there are definitely two active participants at a birth!). Anyway, I got back to bed at 4 and overslept. So tired, and today I need to go to the office.
I did, I think, begin the work of reducing my workload for summer. I don't know how much of a struggle it might be, all depends on how well the new writer does on jobs, and what sort of work comes in over the next couple months.
And now ds made the mistake of sharing the whole story with dd as she came out of bed. Ugh. Guess I better feed these kids before the bus comes.
signed with realtor last night to move this house, still waiting to hear if our offer was accepted on the one we want. major declutter and clean yesterday, carpets are being cleaned tomorrow. I will work close to 30 hours over the summer in case we have 2 mortgages.
Today we have pictures of the house taken, dentist for 3 kids, hair cut for one, and I go to work. Tomorrow carpets. One moment at a time!
Memiles? Did you have a cycling skirt you wated to get rid of? I can't remember if it was you or somebody else. I need a cycling skirt!
Also, I'm debating going to Target and buying a running skirt. I'm wondering if I'm too heavy... I guess if anyone makes fun of me I probably won't know about it. Hmm..
FM: Shooting for 7 miles before a picnic lunch, pulling the kids. I think 7 will be a good workout with the extra weight. Yesterday I really exerted myself and was ravenous all day long. Trying to get lots of water this morning!
RM- you are so busy, I don't know how you do it! I feel like a slacker just reading about all you do!
Jo- Congrats on the lambing! I grew up on a sheep ranch and as the youngest it was usually my job to sleep in the hay loft and monitor laboring ewes. I am a night owl and love sleeping outside, so it was great. I miss farming a lot... Speaking of, do you still blog?
Mel- I hope everything goes well!
RM - I bet your dh has lightened up on his griping about your jobs now huh? Good thing you've got them, just in case but sending for a quick sale of your house and a seamless acceptance of your offer!
Jo - You are amazing. I'm sorry about the twin but glad you were there to catch and that the first one and mom are doing well.
Geo - Ugh mama, all of that stuff is just so hard to navigate. I don't have any advice except to try and find humor where you can.
Re: Phone anxiety - I used to be terrible about calling people I didn't know until dh and I opened the B&B and I had to do it all the time and frequently in my second language. What finally helped was just figuring that the person on the other end didn't have any idea who I was so I could just as easily be a confident smooth talking phone user as a tongue tied self-conscious freaker. So I just pretended I was cool until I actually was. That said I'll still avoid making calls and I often make dd1 make the call to set up the playdate. It never seems to have occurred to her that there is any reason to hesitate to make a call and other parents are always telling me how amazingly poised she is on the phone. So that's nice.
Zub - Another for not worrying about ds's head. The best advice I ever got as a new parent was to believe that if my child was happy and seemed healthy, she almost undoubtedly was. I don't think a day of crankiness on your ds's part could possibly indicate autism, you're all just sleep deprived and have been sick for a long time now. I prescribe naps by any means necessary!
La4 - with that nurse.
Belated to Naughty Dingo herself, hope it was a great day!
I'm running today. It has to happen but I don't know where, when or how far. I'm in my running clothes though and I won't take them off until I've used them.
A little bit grasshopper a little bit ant
RM, you go with that decluttering! Send some of that energy my way.
Mel, you have the right to be anxious. ITA with the writing on your leg - if nothing else, it will remind your doctors that you're a living person with a sense of humor.
Zub, my niece and two nephews all have huge heads. Totally neurotypical, in fact very functional and bright and funny, just like their big-headed dad. Sometimes a big head is just a big head.
RR: two crappy miles, followed by a lot of stretching and yearning for the outdoors and not the treadmill, and then Total! Mom! Triumph! in terms of lunches made, yummy breakfasts made, kitchen cleaning done, and leaving the house on time for an early meeting. So, all good.
Now to work...
So, I somehow accidentally volunteered to be the fundraising coordinator for DD's new team. I think it was mostly "we're the new kids and I want everyone to like us so if I take on a crappy job they will be thankful" which is totally pathetic...and totally my style. I actually tried to volunteer to be the team's webmaster and the coach talked me up to fundraising instead. I won't be sorry, right?
Violet Lane Birth Services Doula care and placenta encapsulation serving Seattle to Mount Vernon
Popping in after I did a big order on VitaCost. I am kind of caught up on reading around here. Whew!
The trip was long but it was so worth it. I got to see lots of great people on the way - including Loftmama. She is such a sweetheart (and she greeted me in cowboy boots ). She let us come to her house and STAY while she left for a baseball game.... and she had amazing food for us to eat! We stayed up late chatting before we went to our RV, but I got to see her and her family again in the morning. Her cabin is beautiful in the morning sun (I want to go back there)!! She served me an awesome latte with raw milk in a mug from eksmom. It was such a lovely Dingo meetup that I could talk about it for days. Her and her DH (and their lovely library of books) have inspired DH and I to build a little sustainable building like Stoneview and start the Nourishing Traditions diet.
I got my vffs in the mail yesterday. I have my mom coming to play with Val while I go out in the them tomorrow for a test drive.
Now that I'm caught up hopefully I'll be around for personals.
Jen - Mama to V (b. 2-18-09) and AJ (b. 10-9-11) Wife to DH
A little bit grasshopper a little bit ant
jenlove I feel so blessed, so fortunate to have met you and Valentine and your dh! Val is so pretty in your pictures but she took my breath away when I met her. She is just beyond. Pretty. That smile. Thank you so much for visiting. It made my year!!!
plady, I love reading about your race!!! You blow my mind in how far you've come since the days we met prior to running in SMA. Great story. Great pictures. You are amazing!!!
Eksmom, your description of dd could be my description of ds2. (Remember how they connected when they were 2 years old?) If ds2 were in school, I imagine he would be in the same situation. Sigh. He has been moved to the pitching position and his problem there is that everyone around keeps talking to him and the nice kid in him wants to answer their questions and explain why something happened, or the play, etc. I find myself wanting to shout: Stop talking!! I guess the social intelligence is an innate thing. It's a tough problem to have when you're in school. If I remember correctly, everyone's whispering and talking around you, maybe asking for help and by the time you say: "be quiet" or "yes" to someone's right answer you're busted and the one in trouble.
geo, my heart goes out to your dd. my ds1 has lots of trouble. unfortunately for him, we've moved so much i think it may have wrecked what little social confidence he's had. if only i'd known... also unfortunately for us, in forcing the polite mannerisms with adults (prolonged eye contact) he's developed a darting-eye reflex thingy which drives me batty. i just can't leave him alone. before we moved a lot and he had a regular, non-transitory group of friends he was perfectly comfortable, though very introverted, with the 2 or 3 friends he has - which is just the right number for him.
every once in a while, i google some quirky behavior on ds1's part and then have a freak-out internal meltdown on how i've screwed him in life and then sort of calm down, but never quite shake the paranoia.
i love all the math book links. i've enjoyed the Anno series but I'm going to add these suggestions to our queue. since he was about 6, ds1 has gotten the concept of multiplication and division quite easily. now i'm freaking out a bit b/c he can't quite spit them out on demand the way i could. fortunately for us both, i've ignored my desire to force the issue and today he came up with "Baseball Math" and a point system for how quickly he could answer the problem. If he gets 3x6 or answers 24/8 in 1-2 seconds, it's a homerun, 3-4 seconds = 3rd base, 5-6 seconds = 2nd base, 7-8 seconds = 1st base anything longer is an Out. Again, I tried encouraging him to study the flashcards first but then bit my tongue. Phew. After earning only 9 runs to his little brother's 11 runs (adding & subtracting flash cards) he decided on his own to study them to increase his time. So again. Not my teaching style really bc it requires a level of patience that I'm... impatient with. Now I'll cross my fingers and see if it works. The reading worked his way, so..... But anyway, back to socializing. Other adults have verbalized that they think ds1 is rude. He is not rude; he's just incredibly introverted and that comes across (to adults) as rude. (And pointing it out to him helps not at all, since the motivation to impress other people just doesn't register - and the flip side is that can be a very good thing, right?) I keep telling myself that incredibly introverted boys grow up into introverted men that I find very attractive.
And on the FM front - some yoga yesterday but now that I've put away my beloved cords and am pulling out my shorts, I am not liking how I look in them at. all. So, I need to run. I am going to plan on a run at 5:00 today when I put the chicken in the oven and dh is home and before ds1's game tonight. I will even put on running clothes now to Make. It. Happen.
I'm jealous that you got to meet JenLove!!