"I resolve to run with the Dingos in 2011" January thread - Page 7 - Mothering Forums

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Old 01-07-2011, 08:08 AM
 
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Jo - goodvibes.gif Here's to concrete offers with specifics and included writing time.

 

Happy Birthday Ann!  Enjoy your cake.

 

My H20 Friendly ipod arrived yesterday but the waterproof earphones haven't gotten here yet but I'm so excited at the thought of swimming with something other than bubbles to listen to!  I will swim today anyway.

 

JG - Let's hope that was a fluke!

 

Well, time already to wake children - Have a good day everyone!

 

 

 

 

 


A little bit grasshopper a little bit ant   energy.gifom.gif

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Old 01-07-2011, 08:54 AM
 
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Originally Posted by JayGee View Post
I'm starting to worry a little about DS and school.  He got in trouble yesterday for "looking bored" during math and had his name put on the board.  Sheesh... looking bored!?!?  They are working on symmetry, something he thoroughly understands and knows.  No wonder he looked bored.


disappointed.gif No way. Now, I've heard everything. Poor kid, now he has to fake some enthusiasm - somehow, that's just wrong.

 

Ooh, I need a kick in the rear! It's chilly out, I have work at the computer, but I need to get outside for a run within the next 5 minutes or I won't make it at all today!

 

ETA: I did it! 3 miles - 2.5 of those were a slow run. Next week is week 8 of C25k, and I'm thinking of signing up for the 5k they are offering right before the Charleston Marathon next weekend. I wanted to go down and cheer on the runners anyhow, so I might as well do a 5k, too.


Melissa
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Old 01-07-2011, 10:27 AM
 
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searcher yes that was me I wish I could find one used . I had one for years I used for grocery shopping and taking my cats to the vet when my bike was my car wishing I had kept it although it was like 20 years old so maybe not . people seem to keep them till they die . I'm leaning towards a seat on my bike just for storage and the we live on the bottom of three hills issue but them I think what if I wreck he would be so much safer ........

tsj good spin class thumb.gif

 

MM poor puppy and poor MM and daughter I hate when pets get sick and you know you can keep them with you forever enjoy what you have left with him

 

bec darn daycare Ive run into that a few times hear has well

 

JayGee OMG in trouble for looking bored ? that's weird .

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Old 01-07-2011, 11:13 AM
 
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OK dingos green lake take 2 ! oh and on a completely different tangent IF ONE MORE PERSON TELLS ME TO COVER UP TO NURSE NO MATTER HOW POLITELY THEY WILL BE SCREAMED AT THIS MAM MA HAS HAD ENOUGH ! AND IF ANYONE ELSE ASKS ME TO PUMP SO I CAN GIVE D'S A BOTTLE INSTEAD OF NURSING PURELY FOR THEY COMFORT THERE MIGHT BE SOME PHYSICAL VIOLENCE INVOLVED dingos you understand dont you ?

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Old 01-07-2011, 12:08 PM
 
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Oh, Dingos.  greensad.gif    Dh's uncle is dead and it sounds pretty concrete that they have the man who killed him.  It was very horrific and I don't want to be too graphic.  Apparently, the guy was a gang member jumping parole from CA and got placed at a manufacturing company in town a few months ago.  It was senseless and not personal.  It would have been someone else if it hadn't been Kurt killed.  They have witnesses that saw him helping K into his van (acting as his DD, since K was drunk) on NYE and they found the body in his basement.   They haven't pressed charges yet, I am guessing they are just being really careful to make sure this guy doesn't get off legally.  

 

I tried to run this morning, but we are having blizzarding conditions and the wind was too much.  My coat wasn't enough, I got stuck at the house when I tried to come in and change jackets.  It just didn't work out.  

 

Jen- your package is neatly wrapped in my car.  I am so sorry.  I just noticed it this morning when I ran to the store.  Jeez, I am losing it here lately.  greensad.gif

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Old 01-07-2011, 12:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Uhh, JayGee, it might be time for a preemptive meeting with the teacher.  Maybe you could cast it as a "I'd love to meet you, and can you help me understand the differences with the IL educational system?  I'm a little worried he might have some gaps in <extraneous subject>, and it looks like maybe a mismatch in math curricula might have him repeating material.  Here are some of the things that DS was doing in IN."  If (rather, when) that fails to kick anything up, then you can ask the teacher to pretest him on material, and find other ways for him to spend time when he demonstrates mastery of the material before the class starts on it.  It might also be good to happen to bring along whatever achievement testing was done in IN that placed him in gifted.  I hope, hope, hope you can get this resolved quickly.  If not, unfortunately, several of us have experience in working with schools to have them, you know, teach our kids.  I've got more ammunition that the above, but these are the first steps.  Know that you should never say the word "bored" or "gifted" to a teacher.  They seem to shut the conversation down.

 

I'd really love for my ear infection to go away.  Just sayin'.  I'm now down to no coffee after 9 am, and the next step is to whittle down how much coffee I consume before 9 am (it's embarrassing, really).  For the first time in more than a year, I got light headed when standing up quickly, so I think my bp is coming back down. 

 

Edit:  Nemesis ~ I'm so sorry.  :(

 

Snow, ice, and wind yesterday put me on the treadmill.  2 miles is my limit on that sucker.  I finished off with some yoga.  Long run tomorrow.

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Old 01-07-2011, 12:31 PM
 
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Jen - There are a bunch of Warrior Dashes all over the country, but this one is in Twin Lakes Wisconsin.  It looks like so much fun! 

 

I was just wondering if it was close enough to here that DH might want to do it!  Then I could do a Dingo meet up. :P
 

 

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Happy Birthday, Ann!!!

 

MM ~ hope the insurance thing comes through for you and your doggy is okay.

 

JenLove ~ I went to dinner with DH last night too!  It was so nice to reconnect with him.  And as a bonus, the kids had their favorite babysitter ever!

 

I'm starting to worry a little about DS and school.  He got in trouble yesterday for "looking bored" during math and had his name put on the board.  Sheesh... looking bored!?!?  They are working on symmetry, something he thoroughly understands and knows.  No wonder he looked bored.

 

I hope my swimsuits arrive today.  I need to get myself back into the pool.



Where did you go for dinner?  We tried a new Mexican place in town.  It was okay!  DH got an awesome platter of food - mine was meh.  Oh well!  It was nice to hold full conversations. <3



Quote:
Originally Posted by Nemesis View Post

Oh, Dingos.  greensad.gif    Dh's uncle is dead and it sounds pretty concrete that they have the man who killed him.  It was very horrific and I don't want to be too graphic.  Apparently, the guy was a gang member jumping parole from CA and got placed at a manufacturing company in town a few months ago.  It was senseless and not personal.  It would have been someone else if it hadn't been Kurt killed.  They have witnesses that saw him helping K into his van (acting as his DD, since K was drunk) on NYE and they found the body in his basement.   They haven't pressed charges yet, I am guessing they are just being really careful to make sure this guy doesn't get off legally.  

 

I tried to run this morning, but we are having blizzarding conditions and the wind was too much.  My coat wasn't enough, I got stuck at the house when I tried to come in and change jackets.  It just didn't work out.  

 

Jen- your package is neatly wrapped in my car.  I am so sorry.  I just noticed it this morning when I ran to the store.  Jeez, I am losing it here lately.  greensad.gif



Nemesis ~ Don't worry about my package.  It'll get here.  I don't stink yet. :P  I'm sending you and your family so much love and healing.  Let me know if I can send Reiki during my nightly ritual time.  



Quote:
Originally Posted by Geofizz View Post

Uhh, JayGee, it might be time for a preemptive meeting with the teacher.  Maybe you could cast it as a "I'd love to meet you, and can you help me understand the differences with the IL educational system?  I'm a little worried he might have some gaps in <extraneous subject>, and it looks like maybe a mismatch in math curricula might have him repeating material.  Here are some of the things that DS was doing in IN."  If (rather, when) that fails to kick anything up, then you can ask the teacher to pretest him on material, and find other ways for him to spend time when he demonstrates mastery of the material before the class starts on it.  It might also be good to happen to bring along whatever achievement testing was done in IN that placed him in gifted.  I hope, hope, hope you can get this resolved quickly.  If not, unfortunately, several of us have experience in working with schools to have them, you know, teach our kids.  I've got more ammunition that the above, but these are the first steps.  Know that you should never say the word "bored" or "gifted" to a teacher.  They seem to shut the conversation down.

 

I'd really love for my ear infection to go away.  Just sayin'.  I'm now down to no coffee after 9 am, and the next step is to whittle down how much coffee I consume before 9 am (it's embarrassing, really).  For the first time in more than a year, I got light headed when standing up quickly, so I think my bp is coming back down. 

 

Edit:  Nemesis ~ I'm so sorry.  :(

 

Snow, ice, and wind yesterday put me on the treadmill.  2 miles is my limit on that sucker.  I finished off with some yoga.  Long run tomorrow

 

I just did some yoga but my arms are so sore and shaky from 100s these days that I'll wait until later to finish up my 100s for today.  Wowza!  For now it's gluten free and sugar free banana bread and coffee and catching up with my Dingos.

 

 


Jen - Mama to V (b. 2-18-09) and AJ (b. 10-9-11) Wife to DH

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Old 01-07-2011, 12:44 PM
 
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Thank you Geo!  I will schedule a meeting with his teacher soon.

 

JenLove ~ we had mexican too!  Mmmmm.... enchiladas!

 

RR:  20 minutes walking on the track followed by 3 miles on the TM (walk 1 min, jog 1 min, run 1 min) with speed increases after each set of 3 minutes.  Fun!!!


~~Kristina~~ Mama to DS(10/30/01), DD1(VBAC 3/28/04) and DD2(HBAC 5/21/06)
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Old 01-07-2011, 12:54 PM
 
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Nemisis~oh my goodness, I am so sorry.  :(  HUG  Praying for you family.

 

Jaygee~I'd be talking with that teacher.  "Looking" bored??  really?? come on!

 

RR: ran 2 miles at just under 9 minutes per the training schedule.  AND....the arm straps for my pull up bar arrived today making hanging knee and leg raises much more comfortable.  :)  Come on abs!!  :)  Need a 10k race to turn in my time for the Indy Mini seeding...off to search!

 

NRR: met with therapist that will be seeing ds1 as I fear his anxiety is above normal and maybe depression and anger issues as well.  Interesting enough, she feels that she might have to call dh in to talk to him about how he interacts with the family (I've asked dh numerous times if he is depressed because he is so irratable and unhappy most of the time).  She noted that son's behaviour might be reaction to dh at least in part (dh is a good man, and I am NOT perfect, just to clear that up). 

 

NRR: ds2 needs laser done on his one fingernail so I got that scheduled for February. 

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Old 01-07-2011, 01:02 PM
 
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Runningmommy View Post and I am NOT perfect

Not perfect. Just amazing.

 

 

 

 

Nemesis I'm so sorry about your loss.

 

Jenlove: I'm so sore today from pushups. whoa. 60 is where I sit for a week or so. I really want to be able to do 100, regular pushups in one day on Dec. 31. Slow and steady, I'll get there.

 

Jaygee: I think Geo's got the right idea there. Love the non-threatening approach.

 

I'm off for the weekend to "Chicks on Sticks". It was supposed to be a fun weekend of skiing + coaching (received by me that is). Instead: brrrr. I'm a little worried about my stamina in the cold weather. But nonetheless, I'm doing it and it should be fun. I'll be back on Sunday and hopefully will have spent the better part of saturday skiing.

 

6-8pm tonight I'm a little worried about though.

 


 


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Old 01-07-2011, 01:09 PM
 
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Popping on for some Dingo advice:

I have a friend who just took a very part-time job and she has 3 kiddos.  They are 2 months, 2 years, and 4 years old.  She needs childcare Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays in the evenings 4:00-6:30.  Should I do it?  I could earn a little extra cash, Val would have essentially a playdate in her own home a few days a week, and... I like the idea of it but then I also think those are my weekend evenings (as if we do anything anyway but still).  Hah!

 

Advice?!


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Old 01-07-2011, 01:12 PM
 
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candle.gif for your uncle, Nemesis. How terrible and tragic and wrong. greensad.gif I am so, so sorry.

 

 

ETA: JenLove, I would do it only if I were seriously in want for the money. But then I don't think I like kids as much as normal people do. hide.gif

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Old 01-07-2011, 01:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Jaygee~I'd be talking with that teacher.  "Looking" bored??  really?? come on!

 

Honestly, I wouldn't even bring this incident up with the teacher.  I can imagine a lot of ways to act that would translate to a kid as being punished for looking bored.  One is what we just imagine taking it at face value-- maybe elbows on the table and resting the head on the hand, maybe a big yawn.  There's also DD's way of "looking bored" which was to outright put her head down on the table, to eat scraps of that day's snacks off the floor, and to make rude noises of things being easy and trivial either to the general class, to the teacher, or to an individual student that was struggling. (Which is way better than how my friend's son showed "bored" which was to take his pants off in class so he could get sent to the principal's office where he had to sit quietly and read a book.)

 

Either way, classroom management should be independent of meeting a kid's educational needs.  Bringing the incident up would also then focus the teacher's attention on behavior (whether reasonable or not, we don't know), and JayGee's got the opportunity to go in with a tone of "let's set things off on the right foot and work together."

 

Also JayGee, even if you transferred the school records, it's quite likely the teacher got little information on him before he started.  She might not have seen standardized testing results, for instance, or even any written comments from the previous teacher.

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Old 01-07-2011, 01:23 PM
 
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Nemesis, I am so sorry, that sounds truly horrifying. Lightness and love to you and your family as you grieve this loss.

 

Jenlove, I'd want to do a trial before committing, but that's cause I find it difficult to back out of commitments I've made. Can you offer to do one day or one weekend to see how it works and impacts you?

 

AF came, and I am wiped out. This first week back to work/school/etc has kicked my booty. Trying to figure out how to get to the gym, it's probably going to have to be tomorrow.

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Old 01-07-2011, 01:29 PM
 
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Nemesis, I am so sorry, that sounds truly horrifying. Lightness and love to you and your family as you grieve this loss.

 

Jenlove, I'd want to do a trial before committing, but that's cause I find it difficult to back out of commitments I've made. Can you offer to do one day or one weekend to see how it works and impacts you?

 

AF came, and I am wiped out. This first week back to work/school/etc has kicked my booty. Trying to figure out how to get to the gym, it's probably going to have to be tomorrow.


Thanks Jo and B1 for the advice.  Jo.. I do have a degree in ECE.  I am not right in the head - I love teaching in chaos, really.  LOL!  

But as I was refreshing this page, I thought about doing a trial run.  I may try it for a weekend and then if it doesn't mesh or things are nuts, I can back out and she won't be upset with me.  Rather than say yes and have to tell her it won't work out.

 

Thanks so much! <3


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Old 01-07-2011, 01:55 PM
 
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Thanks Jo and B1 for the advice.  Jo.. I do have a degree in ECE.  I am not right in the head - I love teaching in chaos, really.  LOL!  

But as I was refreshing this page, I thought about doing a trial run.  I may try it for a weekend and then if it doesn't mesh or things are nuts, I can back out and she won't be upset with me.  Rather than say yes and have to tell her it won't work out.

 

Thanks so much! <3


This sounds like a really good idea, Jennie.  That way no one is disappointed, but you still leave yourself open to the opportunity.

 

Nemesis ~ my heart aches for your husband's uncle and his family.  What a tragic end.

 

Geo ~ thanks again for your wonderful perspective.  I know both you and bec have dealt with this issue before, so I'm glad you're here to give me some direction.  Even I don't know what some of his test scores are.  I have his NWEA scores, but not his IQ scores.  I will definitely use your approach with the teacher.
 


~~Kristina~~ Mama to DS(10/30/01), DD1(VBAC 3/28/04) and DD2(HBAC 5/21/06)
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Old 01-07-2011, 02:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Geo ~ thanks again for your wonderful perspective.  I know both you and bec have dealt with this issue before, so I'm glad you're here to give me some direction.  Even I don't know what some of his test scores are.  I have his NWEA scores, but not his IQ scores.  I will definitely use your approach with the teacher.
 


Don't worry about the IQ.  IL looks like it doesn't recognize or support anything about gifted ed (maybe that compounded bec's experience?) so the teacher probably is unfamiliar with reading IQ score reports, parsing subtests, etc.  Actually, even here where all kids are given IQ tests for gifted screening, the classroom teachers don't understand the tests, what the scores mean, or in our case, what "hitting a ceiling" meant. 

 

OK, not my time to rant. :p

 

It's the achievement tests at this point that matter, because it will help show what he already knows (whereas IQ is some odd, poorly correlated measure of a kid's potential to learn.)  This bored this soon = already learned.  See if the IL school uses the same achievement tests.  Since it's likely not (their website shows offices in OR, IN, and TX), see if you can bring something with you that quickly shows the teacher how to interpret the scores.  Some of the reports that get sent to the parents are shockingly misleading, and you don't want the teacher looking at those.  It might even be worth a call to the IN office to see if they could send you something to help guide the discussion with a new teacher unfamiliar with the test.

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Old 01-07-2011, 04:08 PM
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Yeah, Illinois sucks with Gifted education.  ISATS are the big state achievement tests.  The words that we used with the school were insisting on an "appropriate education".  This was not us demanding the best education for her, just something approximating where she's at.  I do like the idea of asking them to pre-test on certain areas, so as to not duplicate already covered material, and to recognize a low frustration level (although to be punished for a look is hardly fair, especially on what?  The 2nd day, 3rd day at the school?!).  I think scheduling a conference ASAP is a great idea. 

 

Nemesis - My heart aches for you.  I'm so sorry.  Your family and your husband's family is in my thoughts.  So tragic and senseless.

 

Jen - I totally agree with a trial period.  I've done babysitting, and it can be both rewarding and very frustrating in an ongoing situation.  Oh, and I am ALL about the Dingo meetup!!!

 

So, it turns out that DH got done with his appointment and worked from home for the afternoon.  I was able to leave Abby and sneak off to the gym for my swim!!!  2600 yards done!


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Old 01-07-2011, 04:36 PM
 
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JayGee - I think Geo has excellent advice.  I've found it to be really hit or miss in Illinois which teachers work well with kids and which don't.  I think asking for an evaluation of where he's at and different activities if they are covering stuff he's already done is very appropriate.  I strongly agree about trying to keep the behavior and his educational needs separate discussions as I find that teachers hate to hear that the kid is acting out because they aren't challenging him/her.  I had a similar experience with Justin's kindergarten teacher - I kept having to have conferences and get notes about stuff like "he was counting the bricks in the wall silently while the teacher was teaching" - and the poor kid was reading at a 3rd grade or beyond level and having to suffer through being taught the letter "T" for the third day in a row.  I wanted to tell her to be grateful he was just counting stuff and not taking her room apart!

 

bec - we really have to try and do a race together this year, and hopefully get Balancin1 involved as well.  Have any good ideas?  I know I said something about hot chocolate run, and that would be run, but it's so long from now!

 

Nemesis - I'm so sorry to hear about your uncle.  Will hold you and yours in my thoughts

 

1jooj - I've been doing mental nail biting waiting to hear what happens.  I hope the best works out for you.

 

RR - I ran an easy treadmill run this am and it seems to have helped shake out some of the soreness I had from going back to body blaster class for the first time in a couple weeks.  I think I'll take little dd swimming tonight - which doesn't actually involve much swimming for me!

 

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Old 01-07-2011, 05:13 PM
 
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nemesis - that's awful (beyond words). I'm thinking of you and your family.

I can't really contribute much to the education talk since none of my 3 children are yet in school. My mom (a 1st grade teacher for 10 years, then 3rd for three years, and now K) thinks that DD1 will be asked to skip to 1st once she starts. Mom didn't skip me in 3rd grade due to the whole social thing, but I think I would do it, if they suggest it.

Jen - I know that I would not do it, but I already have 3 under 5. And I work weekends. I have a friend who watches the kids occasionally with her two similarly aged children. She says it's easier with the five of them than with just her two because they all play with each other.

RR: I did 30 minutes on the bike followed by 20 min of weights and only 20 or so min on the tm b/c dh called me to let me know that ds had an eye appt in 35 min. I spoke to him while walking on the tm. smile.gif ds's eye appt went well - he said he had a small astigmatism, but he didn't recommend corrective lenses at this point. I have slight trouble focusing with my left eye and just live with it too, so I figure he gets it from me, of course. smile.gif

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Plus DH & DD1(8) & DS(6) & DD2(5) & DD3(2)
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Old 01-07-2011, 07:55 PM
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Jen - There are some really great 5ks up my way in the spring and summer, but I also want to be fair, so maybe something in between?  Maybe the Stroller Strides, that runs through Brookfield Zoo.  This year's date isn't up yet, but it was June 19 last year.  It's cool running around the animals, and then you can hang out at the zoo after!


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Old 01-07-2011, 08:21 PM
 
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nemesis~greensad.gifcandle.gif I am so very sorry for your loss.

jl~Sounds muy chaotic to me, and I don't think I could handle it personally, but I like the idea of giving it a trial run.


Yeah, so much for exercise for me today. rolleyes.gif I should have known when we didn't get home until after 10 last night. DS slept in a little, and by the time we had breakfast, it was time to get around and ready to head for school. Where I swear the teachers have it out for me...they seem to have radar that lets them know to get out the messiest, glitteriest projects whenever I'm the helping parent. orngbiggrin.gif Ok, it really wasn't *that* bad, but I do seem to be on a streak for the glitter projects. What will actually be worse is bringing home said project...a planet: a CD that they painted with glue and then glittered that the teacher is going to attach a string to so they can hang in their rooms. Fabulous. bag.gif Seriously, though, it was a fun day. I really like being the helping parent this year since the teacher is SO much more organized than last year. Too bad it was my last scheduled day, thanks to school.

I really WILL run tomorrow. I was supposed to run with a friend, but she hasn't called me back, so I think I'm going to run with the group from the running store that I was running with before the marathon. And then Sunday, skiing! joy.gif


Gaye, single mama to Tyler (5/06) and Baxter the labradoodle
surf.gif bikenew.gif jog.gif Wait...I signed up to DO an Ironman??? I thought I was signing up to go SEE Ironman! nut.gif

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Old 01-08-2011, 03:10 AM
 
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mommajb--I think we can still learn to ski. Given how pricey it is, I doubt we'd do it much. Still, it would be nice to have a family ski weekend when the girls our old enough. And wow--I didn't know you used to do competitive figure skating!

Nemesis--that's terrible news about your uncle. I'm so so very sorry.

kerc--yay! Organizing closets is on our to-do list here. DH is supposed to help but needs external motivation.

Ann--my oldest did that and my youngest would likely be the same way. I keep reminding myself that I can do an early-morning workout when they are older. And happy birthday!

JayGee--ditto what Geo said. Illinois does do gifted ed but when I was a kid it was limited to a once-a-week pullout enrichment session. Also, I don't know that they did much with IQ scores. I don't think I ever had an IQ test, and if I did, I certainly don't know the scores. They did other types though. I should probably point out that I also spent a lot of time being bored because my podunk little school system didn't send people up a grade for certain subjects or anything. It wasn't ideal but seeing as I could read books at any level when I was out of school, it worked out fine anyhow--not least because my mom wasn't going to accept having a college reading level as an excuse for acting up during reading lessons. Hopefully you can find out what their classroom behavior expectations are too. I had a third grade teacher who was big on students paying attention and being immediately ready to give an answer when she went around the room. She punished people for not paying attention regardless of the reason. I got really good at flipping ahead in my reading book to read another story while keeping track of the line of the story we were on as someone read their sentence at a glacial pace. I fell asleep once though and ended up standing at recess for that. lol.gif

Geo--hope that ear infection goes away soon.

Got in 3 tonight. And J is nursing every 45 minutes to an hour which is why I'm still up. eyesroll.gif


Lisa  caffix.gif and her wonderful girls: R (9) violin.gif &  J (3-3/4) coolshine.gif 
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Old 01-08-2011, 06:09 AM
 
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I'm off to Orlando. BBM should be finished with the half by now, and I just texted with Paige (HBM)....on my way to the Dingo meetup (and oh yeah, the DISNEY MARATHON!!!!!!)


 "Now bid me run, and I will strive with things impossible." (William Shakespeare -- Julius Caesar)

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Old 01-08-2011, 06:12 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nickarolaberry View Post

I'm off to Orlando. BBM should be finished with the half by now, and I just texted with Paige (HBM)....on my way to the Dingo meetup (and oh yeah, the DISNEY MARATHON!!!!!!)


Whooo! Good luck!!! goodvibes.gifenergy.gif

 


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Old 01-08-2011, 07:15 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nickarolaberry View Post

I'm off to Orlando. BBM should be finished with the half by now, and I just texted with Paige (HBM)....on my way to the Dingo meetup (and oh yeah, the DISNEY MARATHON!!!!!!)


So exciting!!! :D

 

Geo ~ I wish you lived closer - I have some great ear drops made by someone local.  There's TTO, lavender, and geranium in there.  I think it saved us from ear infections here last month.

 

I'm sore today!  My arms were shaking while I was shaving my legs last night... maybe it's because it's been WAY too long since they've seen a razor. :) My goal today - just 100s.  


Jen - Mama to V (b. 2-18-09) and AJ (b. 10-9-11) Wife to DH

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Old 01-08-2011, 07:20 AM
 
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Hi, ladies!! Gosh, I can't remember the last time I logged on here. I thought FB was enough to keep in touch, but a quick skim through the thread tells me I need to visit MDC more often.

 

I need your help. I'm at my wits end with my 8yo dd and don't know what to do. Her attitude is just.so.awful. From the rolled eyes, to the nasty mimicking of my voice; she even growls and makes animal noises at me. When I ask her to to something, she only does it if there's something in it for her. For example, after I made her and her 5 yo sister's beds this morning (which used to be their responsibility, but somehow now isn't?), I asked them to put their clean clothes away--I even offered to help. My 5 yo dd's response was "I'm too tired."  When I suggested that might also mean she's too tired for her playdate today, she popped right up. At that point, my 8 yo, snuggled deeper into her blanket on the sofa, turned her attention to the t.v., and replied "E [her best friend] is too busy for a playdate today so I'm not doing anything." I wish I could capture the nastiness of her tone of voice.

 

I know she feels jealous of her younger sister. In fact, that seems to trigger a lot of the mean interactions. My older dd is smart, quiet, and sensitive. She has one friend that she plays with outside of school. Her sister is silly and outgoing. She seems to have an endless string of playdates. I've tried doing more one-on-one activities with my older dd to reinforce how awesome she is and fun to hang out with. Moms aren't always an adequate substitute though.

 

I know I'm making parenting mistakes here, but I'm too ensconced to see it objectively. How do I boost her esteem and get her to act more respectfully? 


Mama to three crazy, wonderful kiddos: dd1--12/2002, dd2--3/2005, and ds--3/2006

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Old 01-08-2011, 07:51 AM
 
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It looks like BBM finished in good time clap.gifgoodvibes.gif for tomorrow to both BBM and Nic!

Towson, It is nice to see you here. I will listen attentively to the advice you get. My 5 yo and almost 8 yo dd are currently at the table crafting much like you describe. Well, dd3 is crafting, dd2 is whining and crying and has already been sent to rest/nap this morning. I told her the behavior was plain ugly and I wouldn't/couldn't take it anymore. I was trying for direct but... It can't all be the age as my own mother suggests. Dd2 is just so prickly and totally unresiliant in the face of imperfection lately.

I am waiting for 20F or a windchill in the double digits before I run today. I may just go tomorrow - if it doesn't warm up I can hit the gym treadmill tomorrow. The snow we got last night left everything very slick.

You don’t owe them an explanation, just a response.
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Old 01-08-2011, 08:18 AM
 
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Nemesis--I'm so very sorry about your uncle.  I hope your family will be able to find some peace.

 

Good luck to all of those running Disney!  I'm so jealous, and I can't wait to hear what a great time it is.

 

No running for the past few days, but I have been doing a lot of swimming this week.  It's getting marginally easier, so I have hope.

 

I thought I'd sneak out this morning to run, but at the moment it's snowing and I have a lot to do for a possible mom and dad visit later this afternoon so I need to spend some time cleaning.  Our floors and bathroom are in deplorable shape.  This afternoon my sister-in-law is hosting a three kings day party, which I'd never heard of, but apparently it's some post-Christmas thing that involves a bunch of kids making paper crowns.

 

DH has been home sick from work for the past three days, which makes me irritable.  I've been channeling that irritation, and have completely organized the kids' rooms and all of our basement storage space.  Now I need to take some pictures of a handful of things I'd like to sell and get those out of the house.  Hooray for more decluttering!

 

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Old 01-08-2011, 08:23 AM
 
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Good luck BBM, HBM and Nick! jog.gif I'll be thinking of you guys!

 

Nemesis: I'm so sorry for your family's loss. What a terrible and heartbreaking thing.

 

wave.gif Towson!  I was reading through your post and thinking of all the "consequence" style punishments that I always seem to fall back on (with varying degrees of success), then this sentence popped out at me:

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by towsonmama View Post How do I boost her esteem and get her to act more respectfully? 


Wow, I really think you said something so true and wise, and way more life-changing than any reaction to her behavior! Maybe the answer is not a reaction at all but something proactive, something good and fun and really special, just for her. I don't know, some one-on-one activity with you maybe (biking, hiking, ice skating) or a fun project that she could help with, maybe a craft or a building project. I will also be following along the others' responses to this one.


Melissa
mom to 3 lovely kids
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