Sprinting joyfully into October - the Dingo thread - Page 10 - Mothering Forums

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#271 of 296 Old 10-30-2013, 05:28 AM
 
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JayGee--is DD1 in high school now? I can't remember. The friend thing sounds awful, though I hope it leads to better, stronger, more positive relationships with better girls in the next few months.
That's the crazy part, Real. She's 9 and in 4th grade eyesroll.gif! Awesome pics, by the way. Go Minnie!!!

tjsmama - you sound way more excited about C than you ever did about J orngbiggrin.gif!

sparkle - Yay for the finished IRB! Too funny about your DS's comment!

NRR - DS is 12 years old today joy.gif! I am amazed that I have a 12 year old, and that it's been that long since I brought home that screaming, crying, nursing-all-night baby boy. He's turned into quite the wonderful kid. DH decided that every 12 year old needs a cellphone (actually an iPhone 5S which will be the first smartphone in our family). I disagreed, but DH already bought it eyesroll.gif.

~~Kristina~~ Mama to DS(10/30/01), DD1(VBAC 3/28/04) and DD2(HBAC 5/21/06)
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#272 of 296 Old 10-30-2013, 07:04 AM
 
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Sorry I thought I had mentioned it but guess not, lol.  Ds2 has this thumb nail that went wonky about 4 years ago and we have seen all kinds of docs and all kinds of treatments, testing and surgical removal last year and the darn thing keeps coming back!  It's like a horse hoof material, seriously.  It is so thick (think half inch high off of finger) that it put pressure on the bone under it to cause it to start growing curving up toward coming out of the top of the thumb! They had to cut down the bone last year.  So yesterday they removed the nail and the nail growth plate part and took a skin graph from his inner arm to place full skin thickness of top of the thumb that we hope will never be able to grow a nail again!

 

RR: none yet, was at the surgery center for 6 hours yesterday that I didn't expect and it's almost an hour drive each way.  Then an hour wait at pharmacy for pain meds for ds2.

 

My RP for the marathon, her MIL is on her death bed this week so she is drained in every which way.  Her and her husband are both respiratory therapists and switch days of working 12 hour shifts, have three kids and drive an hour to the hospital to sit with MIL.  She said she is running the marathon with me though.  WE will both be drained (getting up all hours of the night for pain meds and this weeks crazy schedule for both me and my dh are wearing me out).

 

NRR: see above.  :)

 

Jo~you always amaze me at how quickly and seemingly seamlessly you can get your family across the world and right back into life without missing a beat.  :Bow

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#273 of 296 Old 10-30-2013, 08:01 AM
 
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Real, you do look fabulous in your race picks. Maybe you were just meant to run as Minnie Mouse. Like, all the time. Seriously.

 

JayGee, I AM that crazy woman laughing with headphones in. Some people find it amusing. And I think a lot of people think I am on the phone. Sad about the girl stuff. I am always amazed at how much drama there can be. Sometimes all it takes is three girls. And meh on the cell phone. Of course my kids have smartphones, but cheaper ones, and no data plan. They use them on wifi at home and otherwise as normal phones. I let them walk alone a bit here, and whenever we separate they have to have the phone. It gives me no sense of security, except that they have a phone. But if I am out and they are home, dd likes to Whatsapp me.

 

RM, wow. I hope ds's thumb heals painlessly and perfectly this time. And no, far from seamlessly, ha! But kids are amazingly resilient. I hope the recovery goes better than expected and you get the sleep you need. Good luck, mama!

 

My kids are still doing school now (7PM) , after our beach club visit this afternoon. They swam and played in the pool for an hour, and I just could not pull them out to work on writing, especially in the heat. Then they wanted to swim out to the raft the hotel has anchored out in the Gulf. How could I say no? So now, they write, and attend online lessons.

 

I walked about 5 miles this morning with a little running in the first half. Yoga in an hour. I canceled the art/culture workshop. I'd forgotten it's F1 here this weekend, which means concerts on the beach, lots of celebs around (most are def not A-list, though), and serious traffic and parking issues. So it's better I not attempt to get to the island that's between ours and the one with the F1 circuit, right? duh.gif So...yeah. I guess Ludacris and Ciara? And it's free? Anyway, maybe we'll go see some of the Arabic singers, or some other cross-cultural thing.

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#274 of 296 Old 10-30-2013, 08:28 AM
 
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RM - awesome pictures! You look so happy and cute and fast orngbiggrin.gif

JG - That just sucks about DD1. I too had to look at her birthdate in your sig to check age wrt that kind of peer behavior. Ugh. It would be hard for me to stand by and let her navigate that without myself confronting the mom(s) to just put the cards on the table. I hate all the duplicity and obfuscation of it. I am such a call-it-like-you-see-it kind of person, not in a rude or confrontational way, just a clear the air and get on with life kind of way, but I think others can take that badly redface.gif I am already dreading when this starts to happen more with my kids, just watching them get hurt and not be able to fix it hug.gif

NRR (might as well skip the "RR" for now eyesroll.gif):

I had an interesting realization this week (that might resonate with you Nic, I dont know). I started streaming the show Parenthood on Netflix last month (which I found a relief from the depression/anxiety - embarrassing, but I'd curl up in bed at night with my computer and watch an episode and it made me feel a little better). Anyway, one of the children in the show has Aspbergers (I dont know if the actor does, but the character does, and he is based on one of the writers children). The show has been lauded for its accuracy, bla blabla. So there have been several times where Dh and I have given each other a sideways look when the character does something, b/c he reminds us SO much of DS (Dh doesnt watch it with me often b/c he goes to work at that time usually). As Ive made my way through seasons and the kid has grown from 6-11 (or so), there have been more resonant things. Two nights ago there was a scene where he gets in an argument with his parents and literally the entire thing was exactly the kind of arguments we have with DS. Dh and I really think he has some very very mild version, which amounts to meaning nothing, bc we already do all the things you're supposed to, and also bc he doesnt fit in many ways. I said to Dh, "even if that's true, it doesnt mean anything", and he said "yeah, but it makes me feel more patient with him about needing reminding about basic behavioral things", which is true.

The reason it really struck me is bc DS has had a cluster of weird characteristics his whole life, from sensory to obsessiveness, to lack of empathy, to high intellect, to having real difficulty with any change of routine, which have never been severe, but certainly have had an impact on us as parents/the way we parent him, and on his sisters. So to have all these dots connect in this way makes me strangely happy. I guess its like Dh said; I feel more forgiving of him and understand him more and feel more prepared with parenting tools.

I definitely chafe at the inclination to pathologize everything these days, and he would definitely be on the normal end of the scale, but it does answer a lot and feel like a big relief.

Do I sound like a j-a? maybe

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#275 of 296 Old 10-30-2013, 08:45 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Sparkle, I would think the understanding helps immensely! It's not about changing him, but understanding what is going on. Isn't that true of all of our interpersonal relationships - we can't empathize unless we understand the person a bit. So I can totally understand your relief.

 

RM: Oh my gosh, you are so cute!! I love the race pics!

Here's hoping that this procedure is the one that does the trick! What a strange thing fingernails are! My FIL has a tiny bit of fingernail that grows on the inside of his pinky finger and it drives him nuts. I can only imagine how much worse that thumbnail was. Let's hope the skin graft does the trick. And so sorry for your RP :(

 

Jo: Sounds like the kids are settling in? Fun weekend ahead! Sure, I would go see that show if it was free - not really my style of music, but hey!

 

JG: Happy b-day to your DS! Have a fun day of it. Wow, I am so not telling my kids what your DS is getting for his birthday. We just got DD a non-smart phone, and I'm hoping to hold off on another smartphone for at least 2 more years. fingersx.gif

 

Nerves before the big race. I can't believe I'm flying to NYC the day after tomorrow. uhoh3.gif


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#276 of 296 Old 10-30-2013, 02:06 PM
 
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Woot, Gaye, good luck! (and awesome flowers! :p)

 

So much to say, so little brain cell power. 

 

New mantra: G-d preserve me from other teachers on ego-power-trips with their panties in a wad. Sigh.


 "Now bid me run, and I will strive with things impossible." (William Shakespeare -- Julius Caesar)

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#277 of 296 Old 10-30-2013, 06:50 PM
 
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Melissa and Gaye, I'm getting so excited for you!!! joy.gif

RM, how odd about the nail. I sure hope this works bc I'd find it so annoying, too.

Sparkle, I think I may need to put Parenthood in my queue.

Jo, glad you're settling into a workout and school routine again.

RR: swimming tomorrow if it's not raining too hard. I don't mind driving in rain but it's an hour-long windy country road drive with semis that fly on it like it's the interstate. So, fingersx.gif that I can make the drive. Then I can swim plus I have counseling scheduled. fingersx.gif twice.

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#278 of 296 Old 10-30-2013, 08:09 PM
 
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real~Love the pics! They're great! My pics from RnR Denver were actually some of the best running pictures I've ever had, but I can't bring myself to pay for them for no good reason other than that they're decent running pics. It's not like it was a special race of some sort, beyond being on my birthday and almost a PR. orngtongue.gif

jaygee~birthday.gif to your DS!

rm~Hope your DS's recovery is going well.

My work week is (hopefully) done. I got cancelled for the first four hours of my call and the charge nurse said to call in at 11 and she might be able to cancel the rest. It's looking pretty good...they would have to call in two other people before me. Last night was a pretty slow night at work, which is both good and bad. It was nice to have a kind of chill night, but it also kind of dragged.

I did get a start on my packing list and laying out my clothes to pack today, so that's something. I need to run a couple of errands tomorrow and pick up a few things like travel-size toothpaste and deodorant. I've got two different skirts and three tops (a singlet, a short sleeve, and a long sleeve)...wondering how many other race day options I should bring, lol!

Tomorrow is going to be jam packed...and then it's time to leave on Friday. Eek!

Gaye, single mama to Tyler (5/06) and Baxter the labradoodle
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#279 of 296 Old 10-30-2013, 10:00 PM
 
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sparkle--we've had similar conversations here. And I think it helps to think about it that way too. As we've discussed, DH has many of those characteristics and while he's not there, he's not far from it. Maybe the ideal is to just appreciate the person but that doesn't work for me. When one day can be full of typical interactions and the next day my spouse is hyper-defensive, sensory, anxious and difficult to communicate with, my reaction is "who are you and what did you do with my husband?" That's when it's most helpful to have a way to think about what's going on without feeling like it's personal--especially because at that time he blames everything on the "fact" that I'm a mean, mean person who exists solely to make him the most unhappy person on earth. Mind you, the theory is good but more often than not, even the knowledge of what's going on isn't enough to allow us to peaceful navigate those issues. (ETA: I blame our Chinese horoscopes. I'm a Tiger, he's a Rat, and much of what they say is spot-on.)

RM--I hope this last surgery takes care of that issue. How miserable!

JayGee--ugh. I forgot--she's just a little older than R, which makes the homework stuff crazy. R would be a basket case if she wasn't in bed until after 10 and had to be in school the next day.

lofty--have a good swim tomorrow. goodvibes.gif

tjsmama--yeah, I struggle to justify paying for race pics anymore unless they're really cheap. Happily, these downloads were free!! I may do this race for many years to come based on that alone. Good luck with everything between now and when your plane leaves!

1jooj--hope you're able to get to some of the concert. It sounds fun, at least as long as it isn't too crowded or loud.

RR: 4 plus 6 minutes on the stair machine. It's a real one too, looking a bit like a tiny little escalator.

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#280 of 296 Old 10-31-2013, 03:50 AM
 
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Sparkle and Real...for sure. I have often thought about this, for dh and ds. Like you, they're not 'all the way there' so to speak but some of the behaviors and personality quirks are certainly reflective of that tendency. Not that I know what to do about that, precisely. shrug.gif

 

SOX!!!!!

 

Ok, got that out of my system. Ha. Safe travels Gaye!!! 

 

RR: 6 this morning in a thick fog. The fog did weird things to the lights and it was definitely Halloween spooky, that's for sure. Oh, and...my graceful self nearly got hit by a non-moving car (i.e. I almost ran smack into a parked car that was cloaked behind a giant pile of leaves). Sigh. Graceful, not so much.


 "Now bid me run, and I will strive with things impossible." (William Shakespeare -- Julius Caesar)

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#281 of 296 Old 10-31-2013, 06:01 AM
 
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So, something happened about 10 minutes into yoga, and I was suddenly drenched in a deluge of sweat. It was bizarre, but I think it was because we were going up-dog to down-dog to up-dog, and there were enough large muscle groups suddenly warmed up the my body went, "put out the fire." And it did. But seriously, I have not dripped like that in a yoga class, and the temp had to have been only the upper 70s?

 

Anyway, then 5 miles this morning, and another couple miles running back and forth for groceries and science lab supplies. :irked

 

Our menu tonight includes: maggot-crusted zombie-head loaf; monster soup with eyeballs and tentacles, served with fingers; roasted brains with green worms; and for dessert, cemetery dirt cake. Dd is really excited, for which I am thankful, since there will be no trick-or-treating.

 

Nic, I did a serious pratfall last night on my way to yoga. Tripped by a manhole cover while gawking judgmentally at patrons of a restaurant I consider incredibly pretentious. I deserved the embarrassment, but am glad I didn't lose a tooth. :Sheepish

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#282 of 296 Old 10-31-2013, 09:00 AM
 
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Real - That! There have been times where Ive screamed in my head "what is wrong with you!" b/c he sometimes just doesn't seem to think the way anyone else does, or he'll do or say things that are so clearly nuts to me and Dh and yet he completely stands by them (I cant think of an example). Just knowing that he might in fact have different wiring makes those times easier to digest, or the fact that he is so smart but sometimes seems totally unaware of obviously hurtful behaviors. Like, how can you be so smart and not know that you are being really cruel/selfish/irrational. And then there are the little ticks in his behavior that have always given me pause, but are never "serious", like his obsession with numbers, which started when he was 4 and would walk around the house (literally, walk from room to room to room for an hour or more) counting up to the thousands, and every once in awhile he would announce "mom, I'm on four thousand eight hundred ninety two!", and I'm like "um, great honey" nut.gif And then an hour later he would start over from one! Anyway, yeah

Jo - it amazes me that you have gone from dysentary to yoga in about 2 weeks! lol.gifbow.gif

Gaye/Mel38 - run.gifjoy.gif

NRR: lice again!!! Are you kidding me!?! Do we go to a skeevy school (I dont think so)!? So. Tired. of combing for hours and the laundry marathon! On laundry load 4 of 6, and this afternoon kids will watch a movie while I comb through each one again (last night was the discovery and first comb through, bed-stripping and first 2 loads of laundry). Its a very mild case b/c we caught it early (got the heads-up - lol.gif - from the school 2 weeks ago so have been checking every 3 days)

Halloween is NOT my favorite holiday (that would be Thanksgiving), so yeah, we'll do that tonight after the lice combing eyesroll.gif

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#283 of 296 Old 10-31-2013, 09:07 AM
 
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Real - That! There have been times where Ive screamed in my head "what is wrong with you!" b/c he sometimes just doesn't seem to think the way anyone else does, or he'll do or say things that are so clearly nuts to me and Dh and yet he completely stands by them (I cant think of an example). Just knowing that he might in fact have different wiring makes those times easier to digest, or the fact that he is so smart but sometimes seems totally unaware of obviously hurtful behaviors. Like, how can you be so smart and not know that you are being really cruel/selfish/irrational. And then there are the little ticks in his behavior that have always given me pause, but are never "serious", like his obsession with numbers, which started when he was 4 and would walk around the house (literally, walk from room to room to room for an hour or more) counting up to the thousands, and every once in awhile he would announce "mom, I'm on four thousand eight hundred ninety two!", and I'm like "um, great honey" nut.gif And then an hour later he would start over from one! Anyway, yeah
 

Ok don't flame me, I don't think you're a bad mom. But what you just typed makes me scream get him evaluated.


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#284 of 296 Old 10-31-2013, 09:19 AM
 
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Yup, our trigger point for getting an evaluation is if it disrupts daily life.  If a person is spending time on tics that prevent doing something else, evaluate.  If a person is struggling to see another person's point of view to the point of offending those around him, then evaluate.  It might be nothing, it might be something some direct discussion can address, but it might be something that begs further treatment.  I often find myself thinking of the experience that eksmom went through in the very late diagnosis her xDH received, after they'd struggled so much.  And I wonder, am I setting my children up for similar difficulties as adults? 

 

Ya know how after having a baby, at some point you pee out all the liquid you'd retained in the previous 40 weeks?  So, 12 hours after arriving home from Denver, same thing happened.  Totally weird experience.

 

Massive storm is expected to hit in a few hours, just in time for Halloween.   Yeehaw.

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#285 of 296 Old 10-31-2013, 09:29 AM
 
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Ya know how after having a baby, at some point you pee out all the liquid you'd retained in the previous 40 weeks?  So, 12 hours after arriving home from Denver, same thing happened.  Totally weird experience.

LOL. I did not experience that either time.

 

 

Pouring rain here.

Ah well.


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#286 of 296 Old 10-31-2013, 10:12 AM
 
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Last quick shakeout run, done! An easy three miles, that actually felt semi easy-ish. Now I'm stressing out because I'm trying to check in for tomorrow's flight and it keeps telling me that it can't find my reservation code. Meanwhile, their system recognizes that I have a reservation, and that is, in fact, from DEN-LGA tomorrow morning. The fact that it will not let me check in is kind of terrifying me, though....I do not really have time to be sitting on hold right now when I should be showering, packing, and heading off to DS's class party....

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#287 of 296 Old 10-31-2013, 10:55 AM
 
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Kerc - not flaming AT ALL. That's what the therapy attempt stemmed from this summer. The thing is, a diagnosis wouldnt change anything. Thats what I meant when I said to Dh that knowing this doesnt mean anything, b/c we already have a toolbox of strategies with him that seem to work and he seems to be progressing slowly. It's interesting that we just this Fall (as a result of those therapy visits) had the a-ha that we have focused on intellect with him maybe to the exclusion of feelings and that, in fact, he needs explicit instruction/emphasis on feelings, which is what we have been doing the past 2 mos. and which is what people with aspbergers need (in part, and if he is even in that spectrum). So we are already hitting those marks.

I think just the consideration that what makes him quirky and challenging seems to align with a condition makes us feel less resentful of him and more deliberate about how we handle him, per Geo's comment about Eks' xDh

Jo - So what are all those foods really? Im so curious!

Geo - not disruptive to daily life. He has done these ticky things over the years but never in a way that kept him from "normalcy". That's why they have always been a 'hm' for me and not a concern. The number thing evolved over the years (he started writing the numbers on paper at 5-6 such that he had reams of papers filled with counting up to the thousands that he taped together and it was like the yellow brick road around our house), but now he doesnt do that anymore and is just really adept at math shrug.gif

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#288 of 296 Old 10-31-2013, 11:18 AM
 
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How is it that it's 1:15 on Halloween and my children STILL don't know what they want to "be"?!?!?! This is by far, my least favorite holiday of all. Especially after the sugar-fest that was the 1/2 day of school we had today.

Cue anxiety attack.

~~Kristina~~ Mama to DS(10/30/01), DD1(VBAC 3/28/04) and DD2(HBAC 5/21/06)
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LOL JG - DD1 changed her mind this morning, and yeah, I'm still doing laundry (these comforters take forever to dry!) and have several hours of lice combing before getting them ready to go out in the cold dark to fill their buckets with sugar. Its dh's busiest work day too nut.gif

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#290 of 296 Old 10-31-2013, 11:29 AM
 
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tjsmama--hope you get it worked out quick!

sparkle--yuck on the lice. And as for the other stuff, I might take it to the Yahoo group if I have time later. I typed out a longish post and realized that I may not really want to put that much stuff out on the open internet about family and relationships. Suffice it to say here, that knowing that there's no treatment that will magically "fix" the issues that seem to be related to spectrum behaviors, it's been more helpful for us to identify behavior patterns than to worry about a diagnosis. I find the official diagnosis part helpful for conditions that can be helped by meds and/or therapy or some kind of school support (depression, bipolar, dyslexia, ADHD, etc) but not so much for ones where that isn't necessary. (Mind you, I'm married to a psychologist, so he just goes and gets his handy DSM-IV, and since he can work in that official capacity, it's probably more like going for an evaluation than not.) Anyhow, more on the Yahoo group, later.

Cupcakes to frost and lunch to make and Halloween parties to attend. Maybe this is why I'm craving sugar?

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#291 of 296 Old 10-31-2013, 08:32 PM
 
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30 minutes on the phone with Frontier to find out that somehow (nobody knows how), my ticket got cancelled. irked.gif They reissued it, but now instead of my nice window seat in the front of the plane that I paid extra for when I booked the flight in June, I have an aisle seat in the next to last row. At least I have an aisle seat...it was the only non-middle seat left on the entire plane. That was an extremely stressful half hour of my life. Good thing I tried to check in so early, I guess!

Fun was had by all during today's Halloween festivities, but I really could have used a little less fun. orngtongue.gif Now I am sitting on my couch with C (who has now fallen asleep...IM training seems to do that to a person orngbiggrin.gif) procrastinating my packing. I really need to go pack. Like now. Ugh. Ok, going now, I swear....

Gaye, single mama to Tyler (5/06) and Baxter the labradoodle
surf.gif bikenew.gif jog.gif Wait...I signed up to DO an Ironman??? I thought I was signing up to go SEE Ironman! nut.gif

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#292 of 296 Old 11-01-2013, 04:30 AM
 
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GO GAYE!!!!!

 

So excited for you, have a fabulous time!

 

So, can I kvell for a minute (brag...shameless bragging on my kid). Dd1 was with me at my school the day we had our "Pinktober" cupcake/lemonade sale to raise money for Sharsheret (a support organization for Jewish women facing breast and ovarian cancers). She decided to single handedly organize the same thing for her school...so with the help of one of her teachers, (who helped her bake), she did. She raised over $100 for the organization! 

 

:throb

 

More to say, have to get out to work. 

RR: 6.2 on a warm, rain, windy morning. 61 degrees this morning, from 30 yesterday morning. Jeez.


 "Now bid me run, and I will strive with things impossible." (William Shakespeare -- Julius Caesar)

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#293 of 296 Old 11-01-2013, 05:26 AM
 
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Nic - your DD is a go-getter! Great job!

tjsmama - yikes, that IS stressful! So excited to "see" you and Mel race this weekend in NYC! Get packin' girl!

So Halloween turned out okay in the long run. DH took the three kids, plus 3 more friends in the van and drove all over so they could trick-or-treat in the pouring rain! Everyone's costume was destroyed by the end of the night, but they all had a blast. The best part was that I stayed home to "man the door" and only 5 groups of kids came to my house. So, in reality, I sat in my comfy livingroom chair, with a glass of wine, an awesome book, and a cat on my lap and read in silence for 2 1/2 hours joy.gif. Now that's what I call Halloween!!!

~~Kristina~~ Mama to DS(10/30/01), DD1(VBAC 3/28/04) and DD2(HBAC 5/21/06)
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#294 of 296 Old 11-01-2013, 06:46 AM
 
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RR: I'm getting nervous!!  This time tomorrow I'll be in the middle of a MARATHON.  A marathon people.  What in the world was I thinking.  I've been up nights with ds2's surgery, then party planning for ds3's party (where I had ONE parent helper and teacher sat at her desk), dh has had to go into work early and work late, two dental appts, dealing with deck violation from rental house, trying to homeschool ds1, my van is on it's last leg, and yeah, RP's MIL is in her last days on earth and RP has been there all week so is completely drained too.  This medal will be well earned I tell ya!  Did I mention 32* tonight????  Brrrrr.

 

NRR: see above!!  :)  lol

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#295 of 296 Old 11-01-2013, 08:01 AM
 
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Go RM!
Getting to the start line is a victory!
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#296 of 296 Old 11-01-2013, 10:42 AM
 
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mom to  dd1 (11) hearts.gif,  ds (9)bikenew.gif,  dd2 (6) dust.gif  , Daisy (4) dog2.gif
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