Sprinting joyfully into October - the Dingo thread - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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Old 10-04-2013, 06:37 AM
 
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sparkle - great article! Sorry to hear about your DS's recent escapade. I admit I was alternately giggling and cringing at how you must have felt receiving that e-mail.

lofty - hug.gif You need those swims Mama.

Nic - boo on DH for leaving messes. But I am glad he got a new job.

Gaye - sleeeeep! Good luck on the 14 miler and I hope all that snow misses you.

kerc - sending you the job vibes goodvibes.gif

RM - YIKES! That's a lot of money!

And thank you for the update on our northern friend hug.gif.

RR - I biked close to 30 miles with my friend yesterday. The ride out was great! Fast! Fun! Then we turned to come back and I realized why - holy headwind! These once a week rides have cemented for me the fact that I need to get back on the exercise wagon for real. I am horribly out of shape (my friend waits for me at the top of hills and I huff and puff - our ride is her recovery). I am astonished at how out of shape I have become. Of course, it has been over 4 years since I was injured, so yeah, that will happen rolleyes.gif.

NRR - Day 4 of the furlough. DH repainted all the trim in the master bathroom yesterday and had lunch at school with DD1. It doesn't suck yet, but when we don't get paid in a week, it surely will.

Today's plan - train new library volunteers in the morning, go for a run after that, then return to the library in the afternoon for DD2's class time. I am so close to having trained volunteers for every class which means I won't need to spend 20 hours a week there anymore. A perfect excuse for getting myself back on the swim-bike-run wagon.

~~Kristina~~ Mama to DS(10/30/01), DD1(VBAC 3/28/04) and DD2(HBAC 5/21/06)
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Old 10-04-2013, 12:44 PM
 
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 A perfect excuse for getting myself back on the swim-bike-run wagon.

And cross-training with furloughed DH ;)  I hope he's back to work soon. The whole situation is :dizzyto me. Our government prorogues parliament, but at least it doesn't affect the civil service.

 

kerc, I hope that a terrific new job finds you.

 

Geo, I looooove radiolab. I hope it was a great show.  I'm using the short about end-of-life decision making in the virtual seminar for the older adult nursing class that I'm teaching right now. My kids have listened to so much radiolab that my oldest does a Jad/Robert banter impersonation.

 

Mel and Nic, I hope that the pathways to diagnosis and support for your kids are fruitful. Nic, congrats to your husband on the new job- I hope that this provides some stability from which you can make the decisions that work best for you and for your family.

 

sparkle, I'm also giggling about your son's note to the teacher. My oldest wrote me a note recently that said "sometimes I just feel like blurting out the truth". She has pretty good self-control but needed to write it down and get it out of her system. It's on a pink construction paper heart, and I'm keeping it in her memory book (along with the note celebrating her first poop on the potty in daycare so many years ago, and other things that I'm sure she'll groan about when she's older).

 

RR- Bootcamp tonight. Friday bootcamps seem to punctuate my yoga and kid-speed bike rides for the rest of the week.

 

NRR- I wrote my epidemiology/biostats exam today had 5 panicked minutes when the university website and moodle and email all went down as I was trying to submit. I took frantic screenshots, wrote out all of my multiple choice answers and resubmitted four or five times until it started working again. The exam was easy but the technology was harrowing. I'm considering how I might change my usual cycle of study: Keep up on my readings and work through practice exercises, feel reasonably confident, panic two days before the exam and cram for hours, write the exam and once again regret over-studying. Repeat. I said two days ago as I started the frantic cramming that I was going to regret wasting the time later, but I never quite have the confidence that I know it well enough with stats.

 

In other much more interesting news, a publisher has picked up my husband's book of short stories. It's the same publisher that did his first two books of poetry, and they're working on a very short turn-around for Spring 2014. It could get crazy work-wise for him, but I'm looking at options for childcare to free up another work day so he can edit/write more consistently.


"Guess what? It's a magical world. And when I sing, my songs are in it."
Madly in love with my 7 and 4 year old daughters

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Old 10-04-2013, 04:08 PM
 
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Please tell me I am not ruining my kids. Sometimes I feel like no matter what I do, it's not the right thing. And lately I'm so short on patience, time to really be with them and meet their emotional needs, and hurry through bedtime, dinner, whatever. I don't want to sit and talk at dinner, I have too much to do and feel really anxious and antsy. 

 

And just wrote a long rant that I erased because it makes me seem even more like a wuss, weakling, and pathetic person.

 

Bye.


 "Now bid me run, and I will strive with things impossible." (William Shakespeare -- Julius Caesar)

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Old 10-04-2013, 04:27 PM
 
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nic~hug.gif You are not ruining your kids. You are a great mom. I'm pretty sure that you're probably a better mom than I am most of the time. Our kids will turn out great, regardless of our best efforts to screw them up, because that's the kind of people we are and the kind of people we produced as progeny. hug.gif

melw~Congrats to your DH on the publishing! I hear you on the overstudying, although I usually managed to do that while STILL not studying much at all. In a nutshell, parts of nursing school (as you well know) were very challenging, but for the most parts, the tests? Not hard at all. orngtongue.gif

kerc~Good luck with the job search!

jaygee~hug.gif to you and DH and goodvibes.gif that the govt gets their act together promptly so you guys get a paycheck. In the meantime, enjoy having the free labor at home? orngtongue.gif


I have had a mostly productive day, even though all I really wanted to do when I woke up this morning to the gray/drizzle/ice crap was pull my down comforter up to my chin and go back to sleep for awhile. Instead I got DS off to school, went to the Y to do my long run, locked my keys in the car, ran while waiting for the AAA guy to come unlock my car for me, took a break for car unlocking, got back on the treadmill and ran some more, sprinted home for a quick shower before heading out to get my haircut, went laptop shopping (just preliminary) because I am tired of wasting my life waiting for my laptop to start responding, stopped off at the bread store on the way to pick up DS from school, shopped at DS's school farmers market, and now am waiting for him to finish up his homework before we head out for a couple more errands and dinner. I really could have used an ice bath in there, but no time, so here's hoping that tomorrow's triathlon relay actually does include a swim (weather looks much better, just still chilly) because if I have to run, it might be ugly. orngtongue.gif

rr~14 miles on the hamster wheel, ugh. I was determined I was going to go outside. I even got dressed for a cold, rainy run. And then I took the dog out and discovered that it wasn't rain, and it wasn't snow....it was nasty little ice pellets. Um, no. I am not going to run 14 miles with ice pellets pelting me in the face. So, off to the Y. On the bright side, my run got broken up into three parts by the AAA guy coming to unlock my car, and the 60 minute treadmill limit, so that wasn't terrible. An episode of Cupcake Wars, two episodes of House Hunters, and most of an ep of Love It or List It kept me mildly entertained, although I did have to turn off the data on the TV so I couldn't see how slowly the miles were creeping by. My foot that I screwed up last week by running without orthotics was mostly ok, just a little sore, but sure enough, my stupid blister is still going strong. So, I give up and I made an appointment at the podiatrist Monday morning. I just can't keep doing this, and it's not going away. I strongly suspect that I just need new orthotics, which is going to be uber $$$, but I kind of figured that I would need to replace them before Ironman, anyway. My biggest concern right now is getting some sort of short-term fix before next week's 20 miler.

Gaye, single mama to Tyler (5/06) and Baxter the labradoodle
surf.gif bikenew.gif jog.gif Wait...I signed up to DO an Ironman??? I thought I was signing up to go SEE Ironman! nut.gif

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Old 10-04-2013, 05:04 PM
 
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Dandy. DH's office called him today and "invited" him back to work on Monday. Apparently, he's the only one who knows how to do his job, so he's "essential". So now he gets to work, and we STILL don't get paid!

Grrrr.....

~~Kristina~~ Mama to DS(10/30/01), DD1(VBAC 3/28/04) and DD2(HBAC 5/21/06)
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Old 10-04-2013, 11:18 PM
 
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JayGee--if it's any comfort, the same is true for all the amazing law enforcement personnel who were stopping the car in DC yesterday and putting their own lives on the line. Nothing like being the guy who actually was hit by her car and injured--and still won't be getting a paycheck.

tjsmama--WTG for getting it done!

Nic--I had exactly the same thought while driving the kids home from school today. But really, I think they'll be fine. The kids who have major issues suffer real abuse, you know? They have family members with addiction issues, or they're homeless, or they're being physically abused, etc. The ones who come to school not able to tell whether a book is right side up or upside down, you know? Our kids have, at worst, first-world, middle-class "problems."

Waving to everyone else.

Last night's school board meeting was a partial echo of what's been going on at the federal level (not that they can actually shut down the schools, thankfully), with plenty of other juvenile behavior thrown in for fun, I guess. Suffice it to say that I'm fed up with nonsense and fed up with the minority on the school board or in our local population or across the country who can't or won't see beyond a few pet issues. Also, to random idiots who think it's ok to grab people's arms or clothing at board meetings (didn't happen to me; did happen to a district staffer). The sheriff's deputies who attend all meetings intervened and the woman who did it returned to the board room with a smug smile on her face. The pro-voucher, anti-tax, anti-public-school crowd is also pro-violence and pro-disruptive behavior. This is why we need (multiple) deputies at the meetings, and it infuriates me.

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Old 10-05-2013, 04:28 AM
 
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I've taken to writing a daily letter:

http://www.house.gov/representatives/find/
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Old 10-05-2013, 08:05 AM
 
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Repeat after me: i am not a perfect parent/wife/friend. I am enough.

And nic you are not alone in how you feel.



More later, if I make it back.

Kristin -- mom of Erin (11/5/02) and Leah (9/29/05)
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Old 10-05-2013, 10:30 AM
 
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Repeat after me: i am not a perfect parent/wife/friend. I am enough.

And nic you are not alone in how you feel.



More later, if I make it back.

yeahthat.gif

Weights yesterday. Swim after ds1 gets out of music clinic then out of town to mil's again. We are having a cold war in my house and, if nothing else, it is opening my eyes to how much I have let slide in the past and how, not only am I not going to let this slide, I'm going to make so many changes, his head will spin. I hope he insists on therapy b/c I am ready. If there's an upside to the kind of argument we're having, it's that I make massive changes.It's true I can be a push-over, but when I'm pushed too far, I'll push you back to your side and double that. Phew.

Reading along. Hugs to all.

JG, hug.gif I have a close friend who is also "essential" and is working without pay. I'm hoping to visit them this month and I think I'll bring a case of beer, sausage from the hog that my neighbor killed, and who knows what else? It sucks.

Homeschool Planet http://planethomeschool.net
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Old 10-05-2013, 11:18 AM
 
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Navigating marital ups and downs here too.

Yesterday was brutal (mood stuff)

Celebrating DD1's birthday today. 8 girls going to an archery shop to shoot, then here for fusball, cake, and presents, and silliness. Ive been baking for almost 4 hours, first waffles for the kids (DD1 had a friend sleep over) and now two strawberry meringue layer cakes.

That's it for now

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Old 10-05-2013, 11:09 PM
 
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jaygee~Ugh. hug.gif

And yeahthat.gif to what kerc said.


I had *quite* the day. Actually starting last night, lol. I was all set to have a quiet night with DS when my girlfriend called and asked me to go to her company party with her since her boyfriend apparently couldn't find a babysitter. I was able to get a babysitter in an hour and a half when he couldn't get one in over a week. rolleyes.gif So, totally last minute, I got all dressed up and headed out to a party with an open bar and absolutely nobody I knew except my friend. Yeah. Did I mention that there was an awesome 80's cover band at the party? Holy cow, it was fun. I drank way way way too much, was NOT sober, flirted with some guys I will never see again most likely (my friend was doing her best to find me a man...there WERE an awful lot of cute single guys at the party!). drink.gif And got home at about 12:30, with a race to get up early for this morning. yikes.gif Oh, and I wore my super cute boots with the three inch heels, which did not overly agree with my feet after yesterday's 14 miles...

So I was sleeping the not-great sleep of the unsober this morning and actually woke up BEFORE my alarm went off at 5:30. And perhaps may not have been entirely sobered up yet. bag.gif I tried to doublecheck my bag, which I had packed drunkenly the night before, got myself around, made some tea, all that good stuff, and then got DS up and around, since he got to go with me.

rr~Today's race was a sprint tri that was originally scheduled for two weeks ago and was postponed because of the flooding. I was doing the swim leg of a relay with my tri club (the club had 9 teams altogether and costumes and stuff were encouraged) and was assigned to a team with two guys I had never met before and were rumored to be really freaking fast. My team was kind of lame on the costume front, so I was going to go to party city last night and pick up some sort of beer-related accessories (it was the Oktoberfest Tri), but then I got the call to go to the party instead, so whoops. Fortunately, our runner DID actually make a costume run last night and suited himself up in a pretty excellent Oktoberfest outfit, so at least one of us was dressed up!

Did I mention that it snowed yesterday? And that the water temp dropped over 10 degrees from Thursday??? Air temperature at the start of the race was 34 degrees. Water temp? 58. cold.gif I had about six layers on DS and he was still complaining about being cold as we walked around transition when we got to the race. Of course, I had never met my teammates, so that made it kind of difficult to find them, so we kind of wandered around aimlessly until we saw some of the tri club people that I knew and could hang out with. Oh, and did I mention the one other layer of intrigue in this whole race situation? J (guy I'm dating) was doing the tri. And remember the guy that I met when I went to the baseball game with the tri club about a month ago? Yeah, he was on one of the relay teams, so he was there, too. More on this later. shy.gif

I finally met my relay teammates, and we got semi-organized and I got my wetsuit on and headed down to the water with some friends. One of the tri club guys had his son there, who was a few years older than DS, so I had DS hang out with him while I was swimming. I got in the water to "warm up" aka make sure my goggles weren't going to leak, and holy crap. It took my breath away. It was COLD. cold.gif Fortunately, the relays were in wave 2, so I really didn't have that long to wait before we were on our way. And honestly, once we got going, it really wasn't that bad. I mean, don't get me wrong, it was cold, but it was very tolerable. Although I definitely think that the few people I saw without wetsuits were cuh-raaaaazy. dizzy.gif My sighting was not the best, but I felt pretty strong throughout the swim. The only rough spot was rounding the first buoy, which was exactly when the wave behind caught me, so it was a little crowded and I caught some hands and feet making the turn. It was a nice, short swim (yay, sprint tri!), and then I was out of the water and making the run to transition. I left my wetsuit fully on (usually I unzip and peel off the top half as I run) since it was keeping me warm and I didn't need to get out of it right away! They had a carpet almost all the way up to transition, which was awesome, because as soon as I hit the asphalt in the parking lot where transition was, my feet were instantly painfully frozen. OUCH. I met my cyclist, handed off the chip, and off he went!

I headed over to the club tent with a couple of other girls who had done the swim and we got changed and tried to get warmed up...with not great success. Fortunately, my car was really close, so DS and I headed over there to turn the heat on high and thaw my feet out. We had only been sitting there a minute or two when I glanced over and saw my team's runner flying out of transition! Holy moley, our cyclist was FAST! A few minutes later, I saw J heading out on the run, so I got a cheer in for him, and then hung out with the club peeps and cheered all our teams out onto the run. What felt like just a few minutes later (and really was, it was just over 20 min), my team's runner came in across the finish line! We were the second place coed relay team, even with my (comparatively) snail-like swim! My cyclist and runner both beat the first place team's but their swimmer was 7 minutes (!!!) faster than me. Which made me feel a little better, because seriously? Even if I WAS a good swimmer, we're probably talking 12-14 minutes, and their swimmer did it in 10:20. That's kind of smoking, in my opinion! And the guys were only like 30 seconds faster than the other team, so yeah...we weren't going to catch them. smile.gif It was pretty awesome to take second place, though! I got a sweet plaque for it! And the tri club had its own awards, and my team won "fastest transition"...which was a four-pack of Red Bull, lol.

Official swim time: 17:06. Seriously, fast for me. orngbiggrin.gif

On to the dating report portion of this race report (is this thing long enough yet???)...I somehow managed to successfully juggle things so that it pretty much just looked like I was hanging out with tri club peeps in general instead of mostly just with C (the guy from the baseball game). I'm still not entirely sure how I pulled that off. It actually was mostly because I had DS there. I had talked to J earlier in the week about that...I'm not anywhere ready to bring DS into the picture with him yet, and I had told him that. He was even willing to totally stay away from me, but I had told him that it was fine, it just needed to be "friendly" and not more, kwim? So, I did spend a little time with J (and met one of his friends who was there cheering and watching his daughter while he raced, and yes...his daughter, too), but it was pretty low-key. He did his thing and I did mine, for the most part. In the meantime, C was kind of glued to my side. Not in a totally obvious way, but definitely hanging out by me. One of my friends texted me afterward to say that he looked "totally smitten" by me, ha! Some fairly major flirtation, but nothing that would be too obvious to an outsider. And that was about that, we said goodbye and headed out, and I was left wondering (again) if he was going to do anything about it, or if I would have to suck it up and be the one to initiate something. Well, some FB messaging started up pretty shortly after that, phone numbers were (finally) exchanged, and....we have a date tomorrow. orngbiggrin.gif And that's the semi-short version of that...

Off to bed for me...I was supposed to be at work tonight, but woke up from my nap to the blessed sound of my phone ringing with the day charge nurse on the line asking me if I wanted release tonight because we're slow. I don't think she even got the full sentence out of her mouth before I was yelling YES YES YES I LOVE YOU YES. lol.gif So here's hoping it stays slow, since I'll be the first one called back if they need someone. And I have a date tomorrow that I need to be refreshed for. smile.gif

Gaye, single mama to Tyler (5/06) and Baxter the labradoodle
surf.gif bikenew.gif jog.gif Wait...I signed up to DO an Ironman??? I thought I was signing up to go SEE Ironman! nut.gif

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Old 10-06-2013, 05:24 AM
 
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Hi from Morocco, Dingoes!
Flea bite count on this third day in country nlw stands at somewhere between 15 and 20 but I would need an opportunity to take off my clothes in private (as in, dor example, to bathe) to verify. I am filthy and itchy and seething a little, but I think we might get out on the road tomorrow.
Unfortunately it also looks like all travel will involve family visits instead of hotels which means continued lack of privacy and hygiene.
Also dh and I are considering purchasing 15ha of land but I think it is not far enough from you-know-who. Try not to be jealous. LOL. If we do buy it goes in my name. Ha.
RR: muscle relaxants.
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Old 10-06-2013, 06:41 AM
 
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Jo, you are a far, far better woman than I. Happy travels...

 

Thanks for the kind words, mama. Another bit of a rough day yesterday (i.e. me whisper-yelling at ds in synagogue and yanking on his arm to get him out of a very public location during a silent prayer moment when he decided to have a meltdown :eyesroll). Got better though, with some later cuddles and time-in. Sigh. I wish I could do better. Visit to pedi for ds' checkup the other day left me feeling disconsolate about the school situation, and my seeming impotence to figure out just what the right thing to do would be, vis a vis testing, placement, etc. :(

 

RR: 8.25 rainy miles this morning with a friend who is in recovery from a full marathon last week.

 

Oh, and our Dingo sister Homebirthmommy got (re)married yesterday. If you haven't caught up, visit the Dingo facebook page. :) 


 "Now bid me run, and I will strive with things impossible." (William Shakespeare -- Julius Caesar)

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Old 10-06-2013, 10:42 AM - Thread Starter
 
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:joy for HBM!

:clap Gaye for an amazing cold-water swim despite a very fun-filled evening the night before! And I'm all :lurk with the dating situation.

 

Jo, wow, loving your trip photos. Sorry about all the discomforts - do the kids mind it much? I hope everyone stays healthy and enjoys this part of the trip.

 

Nic, so sorry that the visit to the pediatrician didn't give you any better or clearer picture about what to do. Poor guy, how is he feeling about school? Also, I was really glad to hear that your DH's job situation resolved - it seems like a really good place for you guys and nice not to have to face another relocation.

 

RR: Yesterday was my long run of 20 miles. It went really well overall! I messed up my watch, but cobbled together my time plus my RP's garmin, I think I kept to my 11:30 pace. The last three miles must have been slower, though, as those really just felt kind of endless. Today I feel fine, a little soreness in my calves and back, but good mostly and no sore knee :twothumbs I am so thankful for my running group for these long runs. It is so nice to have the conversation and company for those many hours. And I am starting to get really excited about the marathon coming up in just 4 weeks!!

 

NRR: My sister and BIL came on an impromptu visit - nice!


Melissa
mom to 3 lovely kids
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Old 10-06-2013, 05:40 PM
 
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Wow Mel38 - i remember when you were hoping that 3 miles wouldnt do you in injury-wise! So awesome! The marathon will be such an achievement orngbiggrin.gif

Gaye - You are insane! I seriously could not survive your schedule and have no desire, but it sure is fun hearing about it lol.gif

Nic - You have the best resource here in Geo, would talking about more specifics help? You are certainly not impotent. Maybe the yahoo group? The eight-year-old boy dynamic is ripe for conversation you know loveeyes.gif

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Old 10-06-2013, 10:41 PM
 
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Evening mamas,

 

Nic - You are so not alone!  Just a few days back I was riding C about her not practicing her trombone and she said, "Mom!  You're never ever ever ever here so how would you know how much I have practiced?" And touche, she was right.  And then I left for an overnight in Seattle with some lady friends.  To be fair, although it was fun to get away and have lots of grown up conversation and whatnot, the trip was to support a friend who was finally getting fitted for prosthetic breasts after having had a double mastectomy a year ago.  So it was all very poignant and at times completely unsettling and at one point at breakfast I was crying because I missed my kids so much but know that my m.o. is to back away from them because I'm already anticipating how much it will suck when they grow up and move out and am obviously missing some of the fleeting sweet days when they don't hate me yet but I've always been the one who does the breaking up, am not the one broken up with, and so here I go nearly pulling the same stunts with the two girls I love more than life.  crap.gif.   But the reminder of how short life could be is really fresh and raw and maybe I can be very brave and hold that thought and be more present when I can be.

 

Jo - Ah fleas.  Gotta love that.  Hang in there.

 

Gaye - You are like our own little Sex and The City, sports version.  I love your stories.

 

Lofty - Uh oh, B better duck!

 

Thinking thoughts for all of you but need to go to bed.  Love my Dingoes!


A little bit grasshopper a little bit ant   energy.gifom.gif

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Old 10-07-2013, 05:24 AM
 
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Nic, peds can identify horses, not zebras. The questions you are asking are outside the realm of a ped's training generally. You need someone who can distinguish horses from zebras, as well as if the zebra has orange stripes. If a dr's tool is limited to parent or teacher surveys or a brief conversation, you need someone else.
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Old 10-07-2013, 08:09 AM
 
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I had forgotten what Paige's *handle* was on here!  I know her by FB almost exclusively now.  So happy for her.  Does anyone know why they didn't go on a honeymoon?  Didn't want to ask on FB publicly.

 

Geo, what in the world are you talking about?  What's a "peds", I'm thinking pediatrician but horses and zebras??  help

 

Gaye~I got lost on the dating, so you have J and C now? J was the original that agreed to seeing other people right?

 

sparkle~hope you are feeling okay today.  hug

 

jaygee~ that totally sucks about dh having to work without pay.  I really disagree with that!!

 

NRR: had a nice visit with my dad and his gf yesterday.  We were pleasantly surprised!   Now a busy week but countdown to 2 weeks in FL!!  Anyone close to Sarasota?  I'm looking forward to getting a filling redone in a little because this tooth has been trapping raspberry seeds for a year now.  REady to be done with that, lol!

 

RR: RP and I ran our best 20 miler yesterday.  The first 2 we did a speed stop at her house to refuel, but this time we ran straight through.  She never stopped her running app so our time included walking for 4 fuels (she can't eat and run which is fine) and we were still 6 minutes faster than the fastest.  The last mile was at 9:30 (we are shooting around 10m/m pace for race).  I'm going to be thrilled to cross the finish line together and don't care about time.   I'm going to miss this training when it's over. 

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Old 10-07-2013, 08:14 AM
 
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Nic, peds can identify horses, not zebras. The questions you are asking are outside the realm of a ped's training generally. You need someone who can distinguish horses from zebras, as well as if the zebra has orange stripes. If a dr's tool is limited to parent or teacher surveys or a brief conversation, you need someone else.

Yes, this.  Just think if someone called you to ask you a question about a field other than your own. You'd say, "well here's by best stab at it."  And often that's enough. But sometimes its not. So you'd then say you need to call ____, they would know.  In this instance we come back to the question of does ds need something else for school (which a professionally trained person would be better at addressing)?

 

 

 

Plady wrote something that made me pause and think, yes, that's what happens here!!  After years of banging my head against the wall I have figured out that sometimes my kids need me.  And that's usually when I have the least amount of time (duh). But when I figure out that I CAN choose how I spend my time, even when there are 14 deadlines over my head, if I drop everything and ____ for 30 minutes and embrace them, they are so much less needy for the other 23.5 hours of the day.   ____ sometimes means take them to the beach (easy to do where I live in 30 minutes). Sometimes it means draw with them. Sometimes it means just sit down and have breakfast at the same table as them (vs. getting dressed because I've had breakfast 30 minutes before). Often figuring this out means I have to let go of something (hello, I'm the lady at the bus stop in her PJ pants sometimes).  What it almost always means for me is that I need to be the adult and just get over myself and find the time.  And usually it means that I'm more focused when I get back to the computer to meet the deadline anyhow.

 

I got a second? third? round of illness this weekend. Came on suddenly -- yesterday morning feeling achey. Yesterday evening, went to bed early and was feverish. Today, well I'm at work. I consider that a success.


Kristin -- mom of Erin (11/5/02) and Leah (9/29/05)
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Old 10-07-2013, 08:42 AM
 
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Geo, what in the world are you talking about?  What's a "peds", I'm thinking pediatrician but horses and zebras??  help

 

Just that doctors are taught "when you hear hoof beats, thing horses, not zebras."  That is, if someone comes in with a sore throat, think "let's think about a cold," not "hmmm, might be throat cancer."  Pediatricians are good at distinguishing between the medically based things that tend to crop up in kids.  If a parent is asking about something both outside the dr's training and also likely somewhat unusual or difficult to tease apart, the dr isn't going to be able to see all the pieces clearly enough to even identify that his answer was worthless.  This get hard when talking about behavioral issues.  Diagnosing ADHD is often done by a pediatrician giving mom a survey to fill out on frequency of behaviors.  If mom ticks off enough of these behaviors, then to doctor sends you out with a Ritalin prescription (or hopefully also information on teaching appropriate skills).  This works for many cases of ADHD, but if there is another underlying reason for those behaviors (bored, anxiety, hearing problem, visual processing problem, autism, learning disability, depression, or a condition that leads to odd sensations in the extremities --DS' case), the survey isn't going to pick it up, the Ritalin and behavioral interventions will do squat, and you get no where except frustrated.

 

A talented and experienced neuropsychologist can tease these things apart.

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Old 10-07-2013, 10:45 AM
 
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Thank you!!

 

Is it normal to only be able to smile with the non-numbed side of my mouth after a filling?

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Old 10-07-2013, 12:01 PM
 
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RM - Yes

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Old 10-07-2013, 12:07 PM
 
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Thank you!!

 

Is it normal to only be able to smile with the non-numbed side of my mouth after a filling?

yes. most annoying part of dental work, aside from people touching your mouth.

goes away after a few hours.


Kristin -- mom of Erin (11/5/02) and Leah (9/29/05)
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Old 10-07-2013, 01:21 PM
 
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Phew! Thanks- it's SO weird!!
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Old 10-07-2013, 04:08 PM
 
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Geo, you're right. BUt one of the reasons I feel so disconsolate and lost is that I really don't know exactly what kind of problem I'm looking for. Is it a learning issue? Is it an emotional thing? Is it a neurological or sensory issue? Combination? Bad dynamic in the classroom exacerbating some other underlying factor (this, probably yes.)? It leaves me feeling help.gif

 

The pedi did not say ADHD or any other thing that would require medication; he also doesn't think it's an Aspie issue although there may be some spectrum/sensory issues at play. Ds however doesn't meet a lot of the criteria for what that would look like in a typical neuro-untypical kid, if that makes any sense at all.

 

I did today submit the paperwork for an observation/evaluation (FBA) from the district, who will come in and observe him at his school. It's at least a place to start. Complicating this is that dh is not on board with evaluating, etc., thinks I'm nuts for thinking anything other than normal boy behavior and poor classroom management are at fault. (Of course, many of these characteristics are reminiscent of....him. But he did not get any parental support in channeling it positively and was left to his own impressively intelligent but low EQ devices...and thus, here we are).

 

Anyway, that's where we are. I'm sad, we had another very challenging day before and after school. First world problems, for sure...but I feel enveloped by them.


 "Now bid me run, and I will strive with things impossible." (William Shakespeare -- Julius Caesar)

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Old 10-07-2013, 04:44 PM
 
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Nic - I recognize your desperation. I have been there. One thing I notice is that Ds' behavioral "quirks" seem to come in waves, which makes me think it is certainly partially developmental. As he ages, he is in fact maturing ever so incrementally. He has actually been so good the past 6 weeks (knock wood!) that its hard to remember the specifics of what he does. One, he over-reacts to everything. His emotional response is intense: if he stubs his toe or cuts his toe off he screams like he's being stretched on a torture device. If his sister takes a pen he was using or accuses him of taking her pen, or destroys his most favorite thing on earth; all get the same high pitched, crying, fierce anger/denial/accusation/aggression. He is emotionally aggressive, that's it. And he argues about everything. Its like he's a victim and has to constantly defend himself with all he's got, no matter what you say to him: "can you please close the door" gets "I DIDNT LEAVE THE DOOR OPEN, IT WAS HER, WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS ACCUSING ME!........." And so on. He gets exasperated when you ask him to do simple things, like brush his teeth. Everything is a fight. He does this with teachers too. And with friends he can be domineering (likes to be the leader of ideas) and insensitive, but conversely hyper-sensitive to their slights. Its exhausting

Here is what I have done over the past few months. First, I have noticed for years that fish oil seems to calm him down. After reading more about how much someone would have to take to get a vitamin D overload (A LOT) I decided to up his fish oil and stop giving it so inconsistently. He and I get a tablespoon of the most high grade, fermented fish oil you can buy every day. I also bought - this sounds cheesy, but - flower essences. I told you I was desperate, but I figured if I use Rescue remedy and believe it works, and use arnica (homeopathic, so not exactly the same) and know it works, I'd try anything (again, I was feeling desperate). I read up on them and found three whose descriptions of what they address could have been a description of DS they were so specific and spot on. I made a bottle of them mixed and have been sneaking drops into his drinks for 6 weeks. Lastly, those two visits to the therapist helped in one area especially, and that was realizing how brain/intellect focused he is and therefore we have been with him, and how little we have emphasized his feelings, and feelings in general, to the point that I really think he is disconnected form them, doesnt recognize them, and doesnt know what to do with them when they arise. So we have been doing a lot of talk about feelings, a lot of checking in about them, asking how his stomach feels when X happens, or offering some strategies for when that knot feeling starts in his chest, etc. I bought a journal for him and me to write notes to each other, in which I talk about feelings and ask what he notices about his. Point is, I am really trying to honor his feeling person and downplay his intellectual (which I have prized him for for years, as his intellect is so quick)

One thing that struck me in realizing the disconnected feelings was a story a friend told me about her son at the beginning of the year. She is very into feelings (for personal reasons that I think have made her do a lot of work there), and being connected to your truth and expressing it (for lack of a better way to phrase it). So, her son, my Ds' class and age mate, told her he wanted to quit karate, something he had loved and was good at. She said to him; "when I say we arent going and you never have to go back to karate, how do you feel here?" and pointed to her stomach, and then "and if I say, I really think you love it and youll regret this so we;re going to go, how do you feel". And she used his response to make the decision about whether he could quit. At the time, I sort of internally raised my eyebrows, as this seemed like an awfully squishy way to make a big decision. But after thinking about it in light of how intellectually I would have handled it with DS, I reconsidered that she was right on! Her son is learning how to connect his feelings to his thoughts. So Ive been doing stuff like that with my ds...

But I really think the fish oil is the foundation shrug.gif. And now the gifted component is making things even better, so yeah, there is the school piece ...


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Old 10-07-2013, 05:43 PM
 
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Sorting out learning issue from bored from behavioral issue from sensory from poor educational environment is exactly what a neuropsych exam can do. I should have said that a ped ruling out something with an equal amount of non-information is just as unlikely to be correct. The expert is necessary to tease these things apart. The FBA is an excellent first step, and it will hopefully come with some of the parent & teacher surveys that should be used as a guide for further investigation.

In the mean time, sparkle's got great thoughts, and there's always my go to kidlet fix all of more exercise.
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Old 10-07-2013, 06:11 PM
 
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Sparkle...yes. Wow, yes, to all of that. Whew.

 

Can you please give me the name of the fish oil? I'm not sure how I'll get it into him as he's such a picky eater (and only drinks water or seltzer, sometimes milk, no juice ever..hates it) but I will do my best...

 

Neuropsych eval, where do you go for that? 


 "Now bid me run, and I will strive with things impossible." (William Shakespeare -- Julius Caesar)

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Old 10-07-2013, 06:44 PM
 
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That's a good question for the ped. Also, ask around to parents you trust whose kids are gifted, ADHD, autism, dyslexic, etc. You need someone who is careful and thoughtful. I have generally felt best with psychologists whose approach is to ask "what's it like to be this child?" and thinks across school to home to peer relationships.

Also check: http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/psychologists.htm
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Old 10-07-2013, 09:00 PM
 
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Nic-- {hugs}. Keep in mind that people can have spectrum and/or sensory issues, but that doesn't make them Aspie anymore than having some obsessive tendencies makes one OCD or not sleeping much makes one bipolar. A good psychologist should be able to sort out those issues, but since those can be hard to find, ask around for recommendations.
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Nic - I recognize your desperation. I have been there. One thing I notice is that Ds' behavioral "quirks" seem to come in waves, which makes me think it is certainly partially developmental. As he ages, he is in fact maturing ever so incrementally. He has actually been so good the past 6 weeks (knock wood!) that its hard to remember the specifics of what he does. One, he over-reacts to everything. His emotional response is intense: if he stubs his toe or cuts his toe off he screams like he's being stretched on a torture device. If his sister takes a pen he was using or accuses him of taking her pen, or destroys his most favorite thing on earth; all get the same high pitched, crying, fierce anger/denial/accusation/aggression. He is emotionally aggressive, that's it. And he argues about everything. Its like he's a victim and has to constantly defend himself with all he's got, no matter what you say to him: "can you please close the door" gets "I DIDNT LEAVE THE DOOR OPEN, IT WAS HER, WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS ACCUSING ME!........." And so on. He gets exasperated when you ask him to do simple things, like brush his teeth. Everything is a fight. He does this with teachers too. And with friends he can be domineering (likes to be the leader of ideas) and insensitive, but conversely hyper-sensitive to their slights. Its exhausting.
YOU HAVE DESCRIBED MY HUSBAND!!! The overreaction, the sensory issues, the way he yells like his arm has been chopped off over minor injuries, and what we now call his "don't tell me what to do button" which is pushed so easily over the most minor of issues. And of course, there is the intellect piece there too, which played a huge role in the fact that his family basically decided to give him a pass on the disruptive behavior because oh, "he's so bright and smart people are like that." He didn't have trouble in school, though I think that's mostly because the teachers gave him a long leash to do what he wanted and he's generally happy when he can do what he wants. The mood swings are true here too. Thank goodness there are some good phases in which they are interesting and pleasant and nice to be around.

Lisa  caffix.gif and her wonderful girls: R (9) violin.gif &  J (3-3/4) coolshine.gif 
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