Weight Loss When Everything Has Failed? - Mothering Forums

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Old 06-28-2014, 07:39 AM - Thread Starter
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Weight Loss When Everything Has Failed?

(I'm not 100% sure where to put this, as this isn't "women's health" but it is about weight management)

My partner has had weight problems for a long time. This started in childhood- despite being very active, MIL pushed "you have to clean your plate" ideology, gave WAY too big portions, and also pushed unhealthy foods over healthy ones- when my partner asked for a second portion of a meal instead of dessert, MIL would say "no, you have to eat the cake instead". Last night, my partner was lamenting that, despite being active, they still gained so much weight- and I pointed out that, when we met, my partner was easily eating twice as much as me but wasn't burning twice as many calories.

Moving to the US (from the UK) didn't help, we do pack a lot of crap into our foods, and my partner gained 15 pounds just from moving here. Then, the college we went to had very crappy food and we had a baby and my partner gained another 30 pounds (my weight has just been haywire due to birth control then pregnancy, so I don't know what can be blamed on the school- but I've gained 30 pounds as well, after years of having a completely steady weight)

My partner has gotten their appetite under control and is now down to eating about the same portion sizes as I do and has been for a few years (while I was pregnant, I ate more).
My partner's tried the conventional diets, counting calories, exercising more, even working with a nutrition specialist, with no real results. They've had their thyroid checked. For awhile, they were losing a pound a week, but even with keeping the diet steady they started gaining it back.

There are just so many diets out there, it's dizzying. Paleo, Weston Price, grain free, low fat/high carb, high fat/low carb, Metabolism Type, Diet Recovery, that blood type thing, everything swearing it's the answer to weight loss and everything else is just a pathetic fad. Clearly the "normal" way of doing things isn't working for my partner, but how can we tell what will? We're not really sure where to go from here- it seems like everything that's supposed to work doesn't, and we don't want to try something else that'll make things worse. If my partner was definitely healthy, it'd be one thing, but they aren't and it's impacting our family. I'm not healthy, either, but it's a lot easier to find specific advice for my problems because there aren't giant industries dedicated to it.

Does anyone have any advice? Does the
Diet Recovery Diet Recovery
book actually work, is there any basis to the Metabolism Type idea, etc?

Last edited by sillysapling; 06-28-2014 at 07:54 AM.
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Old 06-29-2014, 06:23 PM
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Well, I can only tell you what works for us. My husband and I participated in a class that his Naturopath put on, which was all about food and inflammation that what we put in our bodies causes. We started with an elimination diet so we could each figure out which food specifically gave us problems. Inflammation causes disease. We cut out the most common inflammation causing foods:
-sugar -caffeine
-dairy - soy
-wheat -nightshades (potatoes, peppers of all kind, tomatoes, eggplant)
-gluten -citric acid
-citrus -all alcohol (except tequila...it's the only alcohol that comes from a flowering plant, not a grain or potato)
I might be forgetting something but you can find that info online. It was good to see how each food group actually made us feel adding it back. The other main important factors of the class was to keep your blood sugar even. We had to eat protein every 2 hours. The ups and downs of blood sugar throws off your whole system, especially your insulin and hormones. Also, sugar=BAD. It makes your blood sugar crazy and causes everyone inflammation. Almost everyone in our class had issues with dairy...because, most people no longer create the enzyme that breads down lactose. We aren't supposed to need it anymore after we're about 2 years old, because that's when we're done breastfeeding.

Anyway, between what we learned in that class, and what I've learned about food in general, I've now incorporated into our day to day diet with great effects. We are not 100% strict, we'll go out and have cheat meal about once a week or so (which I always feel sick after), but we are pretty good. We no longer eat any sugar at all (if we have to have something sweet I use a tiny bit of honey or stevia), no wheat, as little grains or processed carbs as possible (we eat some quinoa, oatmeal in our homemade cereal, and black rice once in awhile), no white potatoes. We eat no dairy, no soy. I essentially make almost everything from scratch. There are a few "processed" items I buy, taco shells probably being the main one. I love tacos. We eat as much good fat as we want. We eat natural peanut butter, avocado, nuts/seeds, olive oil, olives, coconut oil. I make double dinners so we have lunch to bring to work. You can get creative with treats. I make an amazing "ice cream" which is frozen bananas, peanut butter, coconut milk, and cocoa powder. Replace pasta with spaghetti squash. Replace rice or mashed potatoes with smashed cauliflower.

It seems like a lot of work, and it is, but once you have the habit it becomes easier. You have to spend the time to prepare instead of just tossing a pizza in the oven. Just stick to whole, REAL foods. Avoid food that will make your blood sugar jump up (sugary or carby food), because as soon as it crashes back down, you just crave more carbs. We've both lost weight, both of our blood pressure has gone from high to normal (perfect according to my last Dr. appt!). I used to feel sick all the time, I even started thinking I had an autoimmune disorder. That all went away when I changed my eating habits. I promise if you drop the sugar, carbs, and dairy, you'll see a huge difference, in your weight and health. I know vegans who are overweight because they still eat sugar, bread, pastas, potatoes.

Also, add in some exercise, even if it's just walking. Find something you like and move, it doesn't have to be hitting the gym or taking up running. Yoga, biking, walking, a video at home, anything. Also, you both may want to have your vitamin levels checked. I had really low iron and Vit D, which can help make you feel crappy. I now take a multivitamin and Vit. D daily. Plus a few other things but those are the most important.

I hope I don't sound preachy but I just feel so great eating this way I love to share it. I'm currently over 30 lbs less than I was a year and a half ago, and my hubby is probably 20 lbs less. He was getting chronic headaches and those are gone, he stopped snoring (mostly ). You can't look at it like a diet, you have to just start changing your lifestyle. If you want to cheat every once in awhile, do it! Just not 5x/week. I think you'll find, like me, that when you've been eating clean, one crappy meal will make you feel horrible, and then you really have to decide if eating the meal is worth how you'll feel after. Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't. Our most common cheat meal is going to our favorite bar down the street for hot dogs (veggie dog for me), nachos, and beer! But like I said, that's once a week.

Good luck! Hope you both are able to make some healthy changes!
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Old 07-13-2014, 11:31 AM
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As someone who had the same thought process and grew up similarly to your partner, I suggest therapy. I believe almost everyone, if not everyone, can benefit from some counseling to deal with roadblocks in life.
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Old 08-28-2014, 08:52 AM
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Read this http://www.acaloriecounter.com/weight-loss.php

Giving Love serves as a wonderful reminder that we already have an abundance of Love within, "it is in giving that we receive."
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Old 08-28-2014, 05:38 PM - Thread Starter
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I've also seen studies indicating that people on low calorie diets who initially lost weight sometimes ended up gaining it back even while maintaining a low calorie diet. I've seen a lot of accounts from overweight people who did the calorie counting thing and were only able to lose weight when they went into dangerous territory- eating disorders, working themselves past their bodies' limits, etc- and still weren't down to a healthy weight. My partner worked with a nutritionist and kept calories down, got more exercise, etc and still wasn't able to lose weight. It happens, and not infrequently, anyone who thinks otherwise is just ignoring data they don't want to accept.

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