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Katherine, mama to Emma Kate (7) and Griffin (3)
Originally Posted by MonikitaUT
We pick up our dog's poop when we're running, so it isn't us. (Well, 98% of the time. Sometimes when Febe poops on the local predominant religion's church grass I leave it. Sshhhh.)
mom to ds (11) and dd (9)
Katherine, mama to Emma Kate (7) and Griffin (3)
|for everyone else, you have to read this race description . . .
It is ALMOST a guarantee that sometime off in the future, either Mary Kate or Ashley Olsen will appear nude in Playboy. Maybe both; cavorting along with Britney Spears and Jessica Simpson in what historians will designate the “Grand Slam of Pubescent Celebrity Nudie-ness”. But, rest assured, at least ONE of them will end up showing the world the “parts” that Danny Tanner saw when changing their diapers every third episode. The Olsen twins won’t do it for the money, having made enough cash thru Tapes/DVD’s & “Olsen-ized” lunchboxes, CD holders, bongs, etc to purchase much of Western Africa, with just enough left over to install wall to wall carpet in all of Cameroon (not its building, the entire country!) And one could EASILY question the public’s desire to see someone naked that has been battling Anorexia and who’s faces were so scrunched up during their youth that it seemed like the doctor trampolined on their mom’s gut during labor! But they’ll do it anyway, much like Tiffany, Debbie Gibson, Shannon Doherty and other former kid stars, to prove to the casting world that they are now “mature actresses to be taken seriously” rather than “little girls”. This astute career move will, no doubt, lead to a long line of roles as crackwhores, the best friend(s) to a gay guy going through relationship problems or the pampered snooty fiancée of an uptight, schlub businessman who finds true happiness with a wild, irreverent honey who never holds a job for more than 4 weeks and shops only in consignment stores! The main question is to all of us is “WHAT CAN WE DO TO STAY BUSY UNTIL THIS MOMENTUS DAY ARRIVES?” Well, one option is the Pagoda Pacers’ 12th Annual Mt Penn Mudfest, the largest rustic trail run east of the Mississippi. Your thoughts of the Olsen twins in camisoles will be pushed aside by visions of the race’s piggy-themed awards & shirts. You’ll revel in unique aide station culinary and liquid delights; things that Mary Kate wouldn’t even ATTEMPT to “keep down”. You’ll chuckle at the “events within an event” such as the “raw egg carry” or the “Easter Eggs” hidden at miles 2 & 7, much as you used to chuckle at the hilarious patter between Uncle(s) Joey and Jesse (oh, those guys!!). And you’ll wrestle with a course of downed logs, rocks aplenty, shallow nipple-hardening creek crossings, long tedious climbs and other obstacles ALMOST as tough as the girls’ responsibility to be fashion trendsetters. The race is open to the first 800 runners, a limit reached for the past several years, so make sure you enter before we have a “Full House”.
Legal Crap: YOU RACE AT YOUR OWN RISK, you alone are responsible for your well being while here! We don’t look for missing runners since anyone dim enough to get lost on this course can’t engage us in the level of intellectual conversation to which we are accustomed while we’re carrying them out; which bouts in the recent Steel Cage Grudge Match were fixed, what is Michael Jackson’s nose currently made out of, should you wear white running shoes after Labor Day, anything involving T.O., etc. Also you (yes, you!) are responsible for getting any bones your break or organs you damage to the next aide station since we are weak little runners that can barely carry a tune, let alone another human being! For that reason, the race is also closed to 1) those under 18 yrs. 2) those who ever even considered naming their children after a geographical location such as Paris, Dakota, London, Chad or Wilmington (Fred Flintstone’s wife) and 3) anyone who has EVER, for a millisecond, supported “smokers rights”!
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