Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: BC, Canada
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Hi All. Finally some down time. Everyone's asleep and I'm alone in the kitchen. I just finished packing lunch and dinner for DH who will be at work for 24 hours (on-call). Tomorrow morning our housekeeper/nanny will arrive after a 6-week vacation to visit her family in S. America. She comes twice a week and mostly does cleaning, but some childcare as well. The kids are really attached to her and they've really missed her. My mom will also return tomorrow morning, so I will have a surplus of help. Perhaps I will take my laptop to the library and work on an article that's been hanging over my head for the longest time. We'll see.
Veggiemommy, I'm glad to hear you got out some and got some help from DH today. I, too, ended up taking the little one and going to the market. I came home and experimented with making mozzarella cheese. I messed up somewhere in the recipe because, although it looks and tastes like cheese, it has absolutely no resemblance to mozzarella.
Tomorrow is Monday and the week always starts with new hope and new promises. So, once again, looking forward to Monday, I'm telling myself I will do things differently. I will become mindful and try to take more time and space to myself.
I also have been thinking/wishing I knew someone who was "normal" with respect to body and food issues. I wish I could follow such a person around for a couple of days and see how they handle stress; how they decide when and what to eat. I don't think anyone I know is really typical in this way. My DH has developed some odd habits, probably due to having lived on his own for such a long time through med school and residency. His pattern is to not eat all day...literally not even a bite, and then to have a huge meal right before he goes to bed. Weird.
Tomorrow is the 6th anniversary of our first date. So much has happened; so much has changed. I sometimes wonder if he notices that I have a weird relationship with food, and what he makes of it. So far, he hasn't commented at all. I know that he doesn't encourage me to diet; nor does he reinforce me with compliments when I'm in one of my thin periods. I've never talked about this with him, either.
I've been meaning to ask you ladies how pregnancy was for you all in terms of body/eating issues. For me it was very difficult. I think because my tendency has been to restrict, pregnancy was one big binge, both times. I ended up gaining around 60 lbs with each baby. I don't think I ever felt that "glow" that some pregnant women talk about. I just hated being so big and swollen. I hated feeling pressure each time I ate something. Towards the end of my pregnancies I didn't even want to be seen in public I felt so big and self-conscious. My second baby was born via C-section, so that did additional damage to an already sagging abdomen. All I can say is, my issues with eating and body image robbed me of any enjoyment I could have gotten from my pregnancies. It makes me really sad to think and say this, but it's true.
Well, the weekend is almost over. We seem to have survived. DH was actually very helpful, all told, but the kids were both in rare form today. Who knows? Maybe cabin fever? I'm really encouraged to hear that it gets better when they get a little older.