Oh my goodness CurlyTop--of course not!
I know that I often think that too after I post something--especially when I posted some of my really long ones--I hope I don't scare anyone away!!
Anyway, I have been waiting to get a chance to write back--unfortunately I am up to my eyeballs with catching up from taking some actual holidays so I'm WAY busier than normal right now so this will have to be quick (yah right!!)
Oh my goodness 3happygirls--you are SO funny about how and when you can journal--I guess it's so funny as I have TOTALLY done that too--however I decided just to buy a nice notebook (full size spiral bound--doesn't *look* like a journal so I don't have to worry so much about someone wanting to read it!) and I just try to use it - even if it is just a few lines - as often as I can. It would be IMPOSSIBLE to ever use it (at least in my life) if I did all that you said... so I'm sure you would tell me to use it whenever I could and that it doesn't have to be the perfect scenerio and that to perhaps carry it with me so I could use it while waiting at the Dr's office or at my daughter's dance class or whatever.... so I'm going to say the same to you! (Somehow it seems to stick more for me when people say things that way to me so I thought that I would try to see if that helped you any?!?!) It really does help you see things more clearly and to get some feelings out that you might not realize that you have and of course having some quiet time to do it is super, but it is still doable without that... and of course you can come and chat to us instead of your journal if you want--I find that it helps to do both...
Interesting about the fly lady stuff--I joined that a while ago and just felt overwhelmed--mostly with all those darn emails--I could never keep up and kept keeping them, wanting to read them all and that made me feel worse so I finally quit getting them as there was too much guilt involved for me (at least at that time!!)
Uptownzoo--so good to have you too, glad you found us and it's great that you are part way through your journey too--it's fabulous to have people in different 'places' so that we can all learn from each other, see where we have come from and where it is possible to go! You mention doing much better for 11 months--what helped you to get on that better path? I know you mentioned your health being the main cause of stopping and I hope that you find out what is causing your pain soon so that something can be done about it--not knowing is SO hard. I know how frustrating it can feel to be 'doing better' and then to feel like you are suddenly going back to old behaviours... especially when it is caused by something out of your control however I know it's a long journey and it's HARD to change lifelong behaviours as they are ingrained in our brain pathways but it IS possible!
I love that Northrup quote that you mentioned--I completely agree that doing things out of love for yourself rather than hate is a MUCH healthier and much more successful. I too have been taught quite a bit about the inner voice (and trust me, when I started to go to counselling, I thought a lot of that was NUTS!!) but it is definitely a great tool albeit an area I need a lot more work. I find it hard to be kind to myself and I'm sure that is a common theme with most of us...
I looked into that program a little yesterday and it does look quite good apart from the food part--any program that deals with food scares me away personally as I know that being told what to eat etc. will cause me to rebel and I've worked too hard to get to where I am but of course that is just me... You mentioned reading a book--was it from there? Is it enough on it's own as the whole program seems really expensive (and again has the food element)--and does the book deal much with what food you can/can't eat? I'd love to hear more if you don't mind sharing...
eldadeedlit - isn't the 'all or nothing' thinking just so destructive--it just permeates every area of our lives and until someone points it out or you read about the behaviour, it just seems 'normal' when it is far from it! I am definitely working hard on this one!
missingthetrees--I too have Geneen Roth books--I should dig them out--I had them before I went to counselling funnily enough but didn't really follow through with the work as it just seemed to scary I think and to 'out there' at the time--but I know I've changed a lot in the past few years and I bet that I would learn a lot more from them this time around. I think she definitely has some great things to say-you should definitely go back and actually *do* the work this time--perhaps we can challenge each other to do a certain part at a time or something--at least to get us started?? Which one do you want to read again--I can check and see if I have it... The listening in the car is a great idea--unfortunately I can't do that--I never drive more than 10 or 15 minutes and the kids are always with me and I'm thinking that they won't enjoy that too much!
Welcome to you Cathtoria--jump in whenever you are ready--I'm sure that you'll find a lot that you can relate to!
I can relate to your CurlyTop--I'm really happy to have found some like minded online ladies to talk to that don't think I'm crazy! I was a little worried that I would scare people away with my HUGE posts but once I get started on this topic, I find it hard to stop as I want to address everyone and also say what is going on for me--and that takes a long time!!
I haven't had a chance to check out your link yet as I saw your third post and didn't want you to feel badly so I wanted to answer before checking that out but it sounds interesting. What you said about migraines is SO interesting though--I unfortuntely get migraines quite a bit so I'll definitely be interested in hearing more about that... I most often get them when I'm not taking good enough care of myself (water, good food, rest, lowering my stress levels)...
I didn't know FlyLady had a book called Body Clutter--I might have to check that out too--it definitely is emotional reasons that I eat but I often don't know what - I wonder if that book can really help one figure that out?!
Anyway now on to myself... today my dh had an interview to work for a DREAM company and we've been stressing a LOT about that as he's been laid off since the end of August, accepted a job a few weeks ago that paid WAY less than we really need, has no benefits and is only a 1 year term--but he took it as he feels dreadful having to be on EI and he misses working etc..
Anyway, so he had this interview today and it went REALLY well however they have one more candidate that they are interviewing tomorrow so we'll have to wait until Friday (hopefully no longer!) to hear if he got it... But of course the thing the two of us have been stressed out about the most is what the heck to tell the place where he first accepted a job! (It doesn't start until the end of January) We feel so bad that he *might* have to tell them that he found a MUCH better job (more money, great benefits--good for me as I can go back to counselling!, great holidays and personal days, and on it goes) - so we know that pretty much anyone else in their right mind would take the new job but we are still struggling with the whole letting the first company down thing...
Anyway, so hopefully that stress will be over soon and I HOPE that he gets the job as he is beyond excited about it and I so want him to work at a great place again!
The other big thing for me (not sure if I mentioned it before) is that we are building a house right now--we were lucky enough to have neighbours that bought a lot and then convinced us to buy one next to them and they would build ours too--however things have taken WAY longer than expected and WAY too many things have delayed it etc. and it's just a VERY stressful process but hopefully that will be done by March at the latest (It WAS supposed to be done by AUGUST!!) so I just can't wait for these things to be over so I can get back to a lower stress level!!
Those are the two biggest things and then of course JamTots and our wholesale side of our business TOT Wearhouse--both are super busy which is good but also adds to my stress level--especially because we often feel stretched way too thin as there is so much to be done and just not enough time and almost all of the money we make keeps getting put into the business and we can't afford to get all of the help that we need... I LOVE our business but can't wait for the day when it will be less stressful!
And last (but NOT least!!) my kiddos--I have 3--6, 4 and 2 in February--and they are a LOT of work (that I mostly love doing though of course!) but it's very exhausting and while I love their ages, I keep thinking that it's only got to get easier as they get older... please tell me that's true!!
I had them really helping with some chores today and that was great--they were so enthusiastic--I bought a book about housekeeping with kids and have been implementing some of the ideas and I think that it will really help with how our house runs even though it's a lot more work at first...
Oh and I bought a refurbished Vitamix and that has been reducing my guilt level as far as getting more healthy foods into my kids--I've been sneaking cabbage, spinach, carrots, soy protein, fibre etc. into my kids smoothies, macaroni and cheese, fruit sorbets etc. so it's making me feel better (as I'm doing that for myself too!) but also making me feel like they will be healthier for it as well so that's awesome!
I think that's all for now--I'll try to write more often, but maybe not huge book length posts, but I'm sure you'll all forgive me if that's what I end up doing anyway!!
I'm just so happy to have all of you here--thank you from the bottom of my heart for being so open with me and each other and doing this journey with me!
I bought Don Miguel Ruiz's "The Four Agreements" cards the other day (LOVE THEM!) and wanted to quote one here--SO many hit home with me as far as things I have been learning in my journey...
"Personal importance, or taking things personally, is the maximum expression of selfishness because we make the assumption that everything is about me."
What an interesting way to look at that don't you think?? I used to always take everything personally--and now my first reaction is to do that, but after some thought, I can often see past it and see that what people do is more often about them, not about me...
So I plan to not take it personally (and try to help my dh not take it personally) if he doesn't get the job--and if he does, to not take it personally when the people at the job he already accepted, are disappointed or upset if he has to tell them that he got a MUCH better offer... again--they aren't going to be concerned about him--but about what work they have to do to find someone else--but perhaps if they paid a decent wage or offered benefits, then they would have an easier time finding a good person...
Okay--really want to get some more work done while I can here so I'll check in with you ladies later!