I want to lose weight, a LOT of weight - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 42 Old 04-09-2008, 08:54 AM - Thread Starter
 
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but where to start? I'll admit that I don't have much time to actually exercise. I weigh twice as much as I should, and I hate it. I want to have more babies, but I think my weight is preventing that from happening. My DD is 15 months old, BF, and AF hasn't returned yet. I realize it's the BFing too, but AF has never taken this long to return, and this is the heaviest I have ever been.

I look in the mirror, and just think about how ugly I am, how gross & disgusting I let myself become, which is a big reason why I'm depressed. I've had my thyroid/cortisol checked, and I am hypothyroid and suffering from adrenal fatigue. But no doctors will help me. I've been in twice, they did other labs, and said I was fine. I did a 24 hour saliva test through an independent lab, and the doctor just blew off those results, saying saliva tests weren't accurate. It showed that my cortisol levels weren't even in the minimum range all day, which would explain my feeling like crap all the time.

I don't know what to do. I want to be able to look in the mirror and like what I see .

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#2 of 42 Old 04-09-2008, 09:45 AM
 
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What does your diet look like? For most people, diet is 80% of the solution. Eating frequent small meals and not restricting calories too much is a great way to boost your metabolism. How much time do you have for exercise? There are some very efficient ways to get it done.
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#3 of 42 Old 04-09-2008, 10:03 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My diet isn't the best it could be; we try to eat a TF diet, and as much organic as we can afford. I am an emotional eater as well; I eat when I'm stressed out or unhappy, which is a lot of the time lately . And I love sugary-sweets & chocolate too.

I could maybe set aside a 1/2 hour in the mornings or maybe the afternoon for exercise. I just don't know where to start with that.

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#4 of 42 Old 04-09-2008, 10:28 AM
 
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I would focus on diet first. If you want a good book I would recommend the Eat Clean Diet by Tosca Reno. It is a very common sense approach to lifestyle change written by someone that was overweight. If you can't buy a new book right now just focus on whole foods, as close to the way nature made them and eating 5 or 6 small meals spaced evenly throughout the day instead of 2 or 3 large meals.

Look into doing interval type training if you can. It is very efficient in upping you metabolism. Also consider working on building muscle. Muscle takes up less space than fat and requires more energy from your body, therefore raising your metabolism. You can do an effective weight routine in 30 minutes 3 times a weeks and interval training takes 20 minutes 2 to 3 times a week. You do not have to spend hours on the treadmill!

You may not see numbers drop on the scale in the beginning but you will see a change in your body. In the last two months I have only lost 2 pounds but I have seen 7 1/4 inches disappear. Three of those are from my hips and 1 1/2 from my waist.

Don't take an all or nothing approach. If you eat something you shouldn't have it isn't the end of the world. Get back on track and move on. And be patient.
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#5 of 42 Old 04-09-2008, 11:17 AM
 
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Start by just trying to increase your activity any way you can. If you have stairs, make many trips instead of just taking one load. Go for a walk. If you're completely inactive, start with a walk around the block and increase it to a half hour walk each day.

Get the book the Beck Diet Solution. It really helps with emotions and sabotaging thoughts. Do all the tasks in the program.

Pick a healthy diet plan and follow it. I'm doing WW but without all the fat-free junk. I'm doing mostly TF but smaller portions. I've lost 30 pounds since October.

You can do it!

--Jessica
 
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#6 of 42 Old 04-09-2008, 12:06 PM
 
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I just bought the book "Eat to Live." It is both a nutrition book and a weight loss book. It teaches you to completely change your eating habits for health and healing purposes-- weight loss, if you need it, will happen naturally in the process. While he recommends a mostly vegan diet, he offers an omni alternative too. It's a wonderful book and fascinating reading.
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#7 of 42 Old 04-09-2008, 12:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you. I really need encouragement, motivation, etc. I hate myself right now.

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#8 of 42 Old 04-09-2008, 01:19 PM
 
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Aww man, I just wrote a long reply and the server timed out. I'll try to remember what I said.

I also have a lot to lose. I could totally lose a hundred pounds and still not be too "skinny". I'd love to at least be under 200. I have looked in the mirror and felt what you felt many times.

I've also read a bazillion diet books and self help books. While there's much inspiration and good advice out there, you won't get anywhere without loving and accepting you are first. Just start replacing negative thought with positive ones. Maybe you have nice calves or pretty eyes. Focus on what you like about yourself instead of the negative. I've made a lot of progress and am feeling so much better. Being happy with myself makes me want to treat my body better.

I've also taped all the "i can make you thin" shows by Paul Mckenna. He brings together several methods of retraining your brain to eat and cope differently. There's probably some clips on youtube. I feel much more in control.

I also read a lot. Jerry and Ester Hicks books have helped me the most. Make your choices and align your energy to those choices.

Love yourself, treat your body well... It is your temple.

Wendy - mom to dd1(11), dd2(7), dd3(3)
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#9 of 42 Old 04-09-2008, 01:43 PM
 
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You could join in on the 1000 minute challenge thread. Just prorate it for the days you've missed. If you joined in now, you'd have about 700 minutes to get in.

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#10 of 42 Old 04-09-2008, 04:16 PM
 
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Just start changing one or two things at a time. eat a little less at meals, walk ten minutes a day.Maybe buy some 5lb weights and lift while you watch tv. It doesn't have to be all or nothing. Some days you won't eat healthy , some days you won't work out, that is ok. I'm having a hard time with this right now, its like if i eat a bad meal, i give up on the day, instead of getting back on track and I think if i can't work out at least 30 minutes whats the point.
I'm trying to fix this, each day i try and make the choice to eat healthy, and move a little more. the process is slow, but i have managed to lose some weight.
You have to tell yourself that you can do this. You are worth it.

E Veg*n Mom to ds 6 : dd 3
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#11 of 42 Old 04-10-2008, 08:11 AM
 
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If you live in a place with a long winter spring is around the corner so try to get outside with the kids. Take the kids for a little hike (and wear the baby). Play catch, soccer (or whatever) with them. Run through a sprinkler. If you are indoors turn up the music and dance.

If you want some traditional exercise how about a few minutes to do a yoga sun salutation in the morning?

As far as diet goes. Is there a plan that appeals to you and your eating preferences? Personally I have given up on the written plans - I end up bingeing then I feel awful about myself. Try eating lots of fresh fruits and veggies if you can. Having them all washed (cut up if applicable) makes it much easier to grab that rather than something else. Have one slice of pizza and a big salad. Retrain your thinking!

I agree with a pp that being happy with yourself makes you want to take care of yourself. So find something positive about yourself - even an interest or a hobby - anything that makes you happy! And focus on that.

Oh I recently joined in on the emotional eaters thread so you might want to check that too. Those ladies are super!!!!
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#12 of 42 Old 04-10-2008, 10:17 AM
 
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Start by actually measuring out portions it is suprising how much a portion really is compared to what we normally think of as a portion. Walk around the house for a bit seems silly but it is exercise. Get rid of trigger foods I know I cant keep certain things in my house or they will be gone in a day and I cant blame the kids or DH. I started out my journey at 243 got pregnant gained 69 of it back, I am back down to 182 and want to lose another 40 pounds you can do this if I can do it anyone can.
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#13 of 42 Old 04-10-2008, 10:39 AM
 
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Exercise always makes me feel good and puts me in the right frame of mind, and makes it easier for me to eat right. When I skip exercise, like last week because we were all sick, I end up eating bad too. So I would start by just making a commitment to find time to exercise TODAY. Don't worry about tomorrow or how you're going to stay healthy for months or years, just do something today. Even if it's a 10 minute walk, do that. That's what works for me: I start with exercise and that eventually leads to better habits. Take baby steps. No doubt you'll have to get a handle on how much you're eating too, but that can be your next step after you make exercise a habit. You can keep track of what you eat at fitday.com or sparkpeople.com, doing it online is easy for me, or you could just write it down in a notebook. But remember, one little baby step at a time. You can do it!

Single mom of 2 boys
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#14 of 42 Old 04-10-2008, 12:28 PM
 
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I wanted to give you some encouragement as well. You absolutely can do it. There are lots of different ways to lose weight that have worked for different people, you have to find what works for you. Remember every day is a new day, every meal is a new chance. Remember, this is about lifestyle changes. You have to find time for yourself, you are worth that much.

For me- in the past I had 30 lbs to lose (put on by Depo). What worked for me was making a little change at a time. At first I started with just getting some breakfast- it was a slimfast at first, but that was better than what I had been eating though- or rather not eating. I started packing snacks for myself, stopped buying candy bars and bags of chips. I started exercising- on the treadmill at first, with weight machines- but it was a start. I cringe at a lot of the "health" food I ate in those early days, but it was a process. If I would have tried to start then where I am now- there is no way I would have been able to keep with it. I did watch the scale and measurements, but more importantly I focused on how good I felt and how much energy I had. It took me a full year to lose that weight, but 7 yrs later it is still gone - other than pregnancies and pp I have lost weight as well. I still work out and eat healthy- but you know what else- there is still unhealthy meals I have. There are still times when I miss working out. However, I just start back with it. I monitor my weight and if it starts creeping out of an uncomfortable range than I start watching myself more.

Currently I am smaller than I have been in forever. I have found since the babies it seems that grains do not agree with me and I cannot have dairy due to the baby's food intolerance- those 2 things really keep the weight in check. I do weightlifting and highintensity intervals- I am a strong beliver in all those things, but I would never suggest that any one way is the right way. There are different paths to the same destination. You can find your way

Happily Married to my : 11 yrs- Mama to wild-eyed monkey boy 7-04, fiery little girl 4-07, and the happy smiley baby that sleeps 11-09!
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#15 of 42 Old 04-10-2008, 03:21 PM
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I wanted to give some encouragement and support as well.

I was 250 pounds 2 years ago. I am now 167 pounds.

I think a lot of people have a lot of different suggestions on what the first thing to do is. But, I think, you are the one that needs to answer that question. The thing that is going to work the best is the thing that you will stick with. For some people, it is easier to start making lifestyle changes in the kitchen, for others, it is the gym.

I think the suggestion to make small changes in the beginning is a great one. That's what I did. I made a couple of small, easy to manage changes (like wearing the 6 month old, rather than trying to convince her to be happy on the floor whenever I did housework. And, parking at the far end of the parking lot, rather than driving around for 20 minutes looking for a closer spot). When I started to see some success, it was easier to make bigger changes.

I am now eating very nutritiously, working out 4-5 times a week, running 25 miles/week, and training for a half marathon. I swear to you, if I can do it, anyone can!

Mama to: Katie, Emily , and Abby
Not perfect, Just amazing!
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#16 of 42 Old 04-10-2008, 03:38 PM
 
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I need to lose about 75 lbs so I know EXACTLY how you are feeling! You have received some good advice so far and I can not stress enough the idea of baby steps. You really need to accept that this is a process that will take time but if you focus on the journey it will be easier.

The first thing I would do is buy a good food scale. I tried to measure things myself but I have been so brainwashed by "portion distortion" that I just couldn’t do it myself. It was the best money I could spend.

The second is to find a way to track the food you are eating. Personally I love Sparks (see my siggie) but there are lots of them out there. Finding one that works for *you* is the key. Also be brutally HONEST!! Once you are honest with every morsel going into your mouth you can then find ways to cut back or substitute.

The other is to try to find some inspiration/motivation. Again, personally, I LOVE food, cooking, cookbooks, the works. So I wanted something that didn't make me hate food or talk to me about deprivation. I wanted to be inspired to eat well, enjoy food and *still* lose weight. This blog has been a great source of motivation and fun for me. I highly recommend it!!
http://www.j3nn.net/

If you ever want a buddy, or need a shoulder to cry on PM me!!

Pardon me while I puke.gif

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#17 of 42 Old 04-11-2008, 08:54 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you, I really appreciate it! I am just so tired of being fat, being tired, not being able to buy any clothes at the store because I'm too fat.

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#18 of 42 Old 04-13-2008, 05:59 PM
 
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The only eating plan that's ever worked for me personally is low carb. I wasn't able to simply cut calories without feeling very weak. Nor could I 'eat the same but add exercise" because that would increase my appetite and create the whole "I feel weak on less food" problem, as well as exercise being a problem all by itself because of my Fibromyalgia.

I've lost over 20 lbs since last June, and that's without any significant exercise. While exercise can certainly help with weight loss in many situations,it's certainly not a REQUIREMENT for weight loss!

I will say, though, that I have to giggle at the "can't buy clothes in stores because of weight" statement. At my very smallest I was a size 14, and I feel very comfortable in the "plus sized" stores. It feels very strange to know that I can't always get fitted in those stores anymore! In some cases the smallest "plus size" will work for me, but not always.

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19 (in Israel for another school year), Hannah, 18 (commuting to college), and Jack, 12(homeschooled)
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#19 of 42 Old 04-13-2008, 10:42 PM
 
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I'm in the process of losing the 60-70+ lbs that I have put on over my pregnancies and early mothering times. I have lost 16, and I have big plans to continue. I have been losing about 1 lb a week.

For me, I have to:
1- Be in teh right frame of mind... stop the negative self talk... think and act like a skinny person, and realize that I have a lot of work to do, but I can do it. Take 1 day at a time. 1 slip up does not make me fail, and I start anew right tehn and there (instead of waiting until Monday, tomorrow, etc)

2- I have to work out a lot and at a high intensity. I joined a gym, adn I go 5-6 times a week. I have HR monitor, adn I try to do 40-60 minutes a day in the 120-150 HR range (along with weights)

3- Track food on www.sparkpeople.com to know where extra calories are sneaking in (I eat 1600-2000 a day)

Gigi. Mommy to 3 girls.
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#20 of 42 Old 04-13-2008, 10:56 PM
 
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Small changes build on themselves and turn into results. I'm where you are and that's what I'm trying to do. 3 things you can do right now:

--get a good pedometer and clip it on first thing in the morning; walk 10,000 steps a day; park a little farther away from stores; bring the groceries in 1 bag at a time; you'll be surprised how quickly it adds up
--readjust your notions of portion size by measuring for a while; it just takes a second; you still get to eat what you want, just a healthier portion of it
--try to get enough good quality sleep; a rested mind makes better choices and a rested body functions better; easier said than done, I know!

wild.gif  kickin' it old school
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#21 of 42 Old 04-13-2008, 11:44 PM
 
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I read this thread and I feel like I could have written the OP, except that I don't have kids (yet). I gained a lot of weight after I broke my foot, and since my mom died I have been eating emotionally. I wanted you to know that reading here has encouraged me to finally make an effort, so I looked at my SparkPeople account again and made a grocery list for this week. Right now I really have a feeling of just hating myself, but I know from past experience that if I just set baby-step goals for myself and meet them I'll feel better and it will start to snowball.
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#22 of 42 Old 04-14-2008, 07:53 AM
 
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Gotta run for the babe but I'll BBL.

Subbing!

I'm in the SAME boat. I could loose 100+lbs now.
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#23 of 42 Old 04-14-2008, 08:20 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you! I have joined sparkpeople.com, and have set up some small goals for myself. I think once I meet them, it will give me confidence to keep going.

I don't know what to do about the negative thinking though . I've always thought bad about myself, even when I was a kid. I've never felt I was important.

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#24 of 42 Old 04-14-2008, 08:48 AM
 
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For me, I have to find SOMETHING about me that I can and do love...maybe it's my pretty smile, my nice hair, my newly defined tricep muscle that is barely peeking out if I move my arm a certain way. Find something small, appreciate it, adn LOVE yourslef for it!!!

You kids need to see you loving yourself anyway, y/k???

Gigi. Mommy to 3 girls.
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#25 of 42 Old 04-14-2008, 01:23 PM
 
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Perhaps you can try thinking about the quality of life you'd like your children to have to get you started? When I first got started (I lost 40 pounds), I had a very hard time thinking about how it was good for ME to do this "torturous" task of changing my lifestyle. I mean seriously! I was comfortable in my ways, although not happy with what I saw. Anyway, I focused on how my energy level and attitude (and other things) affect my DD and how I wanted her to grow up healthier than me. Of course, the icky thought crept in there that if I *didn't* do anything, then she might not have a mother that long anyway.

In any case, we are our children's role models (actively or passively). If you are not in a place to think happy, positive thoughts about yourself just yet (it'll come with time), then try thinking about the good this will do your children and family.

I can tell you the most amazing thing losing the weight has done for me is I have so much more energy to be active WITH my DD instead of trying to keep up with her and feeling exhausted all the time.

Best wishes in your journey!!!

"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." - Mother Teresa

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#26 of 42 Old 04-14-2008, 03:23 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mommyofmany View Post
I don't know what to do about the negative thinking though . I've always thought bad about myself, even when I was a kid. I've never felt I was important.
Get the Beck Diet Solution book! It's all about changing your thinking so that you will be successful at losing weight and maintaining weight loss.

--Jessica
 
Mom to Dom age 11, Joe age 7, and baby Maddie. love.gif

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#27 of 42 Old 04-14-2008, 04:40 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mommyofmany View Post
Thank you! I have joined sparkpeople.com, and have set up some small goals for myself. I think once I meet them, it will give me confidence to keep going.

I don't know what to do about the negative thinking though . I've always thought bad about myself, even when I was a kid. I've never felt I was important.
This is incredibly important. I lost about 90 pounds over the course of about 2.5 years. I gain a little back each winter, and lose it again each spring. I have emotional eating problems, and I also suffer with SAD (and live in WI). I managed to lose the weight in spite of many things, including:
- Starting from a position of not liking/valuing myself
- Starting with no $$ for gyms, gear, or even childcare
- WI weather
- A lifelong history of overweight/obesity

What I can tell you about my experience is first not to overthink exercise. Just get active, doing what you can do, as often as you can do it. Exercise alone helps to manage the factors that contribute to stress eating (this links directly with my own winter weight gain...I exercise less and [perhaps therefore] eat more).

Second, in order to have ongoing, long-term success, you must learn to occasionally place yourself at the top of the priority list. This means eating well, sleeping enough, and finding the support if you need it to get your activity in. I occasionally have to rely on family and friends to watch my kids so I can run outdoors. Dh has had to become a part of my support system--and since he also reaps the benefits of results, it only makes sense.

Third, on "ugly." In our family, we have a saying the no thing God made is to be called ugly by us. You aren't seeing your strength or beauty. Find them. Make a list if you have to. Consider minimizing your interactions with mirrors for a while. Because I will tell you what--after the first 30 pounds, your conversations with the mirror will begin to change.

There's a lot of good advice here. Pick some and follow it for a couple weeks. Then come back and find some more, and add that on. Make small changes, stick with them for 3 weeks, and add more changes.

(pssst...I'd also recommend totally banishing whatever foods you might typically binge on. just get rid of them. don't invite them back.)
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#28 of 42 Old 04-15-2008, 03:20 PM
 
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I just posted about why I think that counting calories will work for me. For me, having to avoid specific foods has never worked.

I hope that you find something that works for you.

sharing life with | 10 yo ds | 8 yo dd | dh (since 2012)
"I am not what happened to me...I am what I choose to become." ~ Carl Jung
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#29 of 42 Old 04-15-2008, 03:38 PM
 
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Like others said, find some things you love about yourself. That will help a lot with your negative feelings.

Do you have a juicer? If so make up a yummy juice when you wake up and maybe again in the evening. Juicing really curbs your appetite. Or even a blender to make smoothies in place of a meal or so.

Happily married and unschooling 5 kiddos Oct. 2004, July, 2007, July, 2009, Oct. 2010, Nov. 2012 uc.jpg

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#30 of 42 Old 04-15-2008, 04:34 PM
 
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I thought of you when I was looking for a diet plan and wanted to share these calculators:
http://www.freedieting.com/tools/weight_loss_tools.htm

Midwife (CPM, LDM) and homeschooling mama to:
13yo ds   10yo dd  8yo ds and 6yo ds and 1yo ds  
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