How can I talk to MIL against GBypass? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
Old 08-22-2008, 12:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
p1gg1e's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,217
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
She is so excited about it. She is almost 60 and has heart issues. She hasn't changed her diet except trying the Atkins diet 5 years ago and claims she tried again but that it wont work again because she stopped the first time ( not that Atkins is a great diet)

She eats allot of refined products with hydrogenated oils, HFCS , and sweetners.
Her weight is about 350-400 Id guess but she is really tall.

I'm just not sure how to tell her that she isn't going to get any better ( yeah ok she might become thin) if she doesnt change how and what she eats. Her Dr. has said that she will digest better after this with her IBS...Oh and pig will fly...

Really though her surgery is in a year and I'm just wondering. Do I keep my mouth shut? Say something? or just support her through this?
p1gg1e is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 08-22-2008, 12:27 PM
 
paquerette's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Poconos
Posts: 6,594
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Aren't they required to go to extensive counseling beforehand and adopt a special diet both before and afterward? The folks I've known who had it could not eat any sugars of any kind afterwards or they would get horribly ill, and they had to balance each meal and snack for protein/fat/carb. It sounds like, unless she's going to change her lifestyle, it's not going to work out well for her anyway.
paquerette is offline  
Old 08-22-2008, 12:58 PM
 
goodygumdrops's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,783
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Personally, I wouldn't. My aunt that has been obese her WHOLE life is going to have this procedure in two months. She smoke for 30 years. Everyone in my family thought she would smoke the rest of her life. Well, when her doctor told her that gbypass surgery would be covered by her insurance, she started researching it and decided it was her best option. She doesn't know how to diet....I know she's tried but when you live your whole life a certain way, it's hard to imagine making the dramatic changes. So, she quit smoking over a year ago...has been to numerous appointment, pulmonogists, psychiatrist, etc and they have finally given her the ok to have the surgery.

My whole family is ecstatic. We all worried that she could have massive heart attack or stroke at anytime. She has a son and new granddaughter and I think it really made her want to be around to see her grow up. I think that it pretty powerful. My aunt has been like a mother to me and it really makes me hopeful that she will be in a much better place a year from now.

I would nutrure your mil experience. I know that they have to be on a liquid diet for a month or so after the procedure. Why don't you research making delicious smoothies or meals for her...I'm plan on putting together a gift like this and maybe a yoga mat and video.

Good luck

"Breastfeeding is a robust, biologically stable activity so central to our evolutionary identity that it names the class of animals to which we belong" (Breastfeeding Atlas, Third Edition)
goodygumdrops is offline  
Old 08-22-2008, 01:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
p1gg1e's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,217
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gavin'smom View Post
I would nutrure your mil experience. I know that they have to be on a liquid diet for a month or so after the procedure. Why don't you research making delicious smoothies or meals for her...I'm plan on putting together a gift like this and maybe a yoga mat and video.

Good luck
Thats a great idea!

She is so unhealthy that I'm worried if not expecting a 2ndary infection from all this + the other issues.

Anyway I'll look into the smoothies and drink mixes thats a good idea and makes me feel like I'm helping rather then confronting.
p1gg1e is offline  
Old 08-22-2008, 09:48 PM
 
mamatoady's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Western Michigan
Posts: 1,904
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
you know, unless you've been there, I would seriously keep my mouth shut. At this point in her life it sounds like she needs supporters and not people who are going to try to talk her into doing things she doesn't feel like she can be successful at. Also, the last you heard she did Adtkins 5 years ago, but at 400 pounds and all of a sudden doing GB, I would guess she has attempted many diets and failed herself many many times and not told anyone. I personally don't tell people when I'm dieting because I feel like as soon as I do, I go off my diet, so I just keep it to myself--at least that way I only fail myself and no one else.

I'm with you that I don't think GB is the healthiest way to go and if she's eating like crap and not changing her way of life, then she may even gain it all back, but give her doctors the benefit of the doubt on determining that she's ok for the surgery.

if you've had weightloss discussions with her previously, you could ask her how she's feeling about it and if she feels like she hasn't had support in her previous weight loss attempts etc. If you've never had weight discussions, now may not be the appropriate time to start.

Mama to girl (11), boy (7) and girl (4).  "Can't we all just get along?" joy.gif
mamatoady is offline  
Old 08-22-2008, 10:51 PM
 
Ammaarah's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 2,315
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gavin'smom View Post
Personally, I wouldn't. My aunt that has been obese her WHOLE life is going to have this procedure in two months. She smoke for 30 years. Everyone in my family thought she would smoke the rest of her life. Well, when her doctor told her that gbypass surgery would be covered by her insurance, she started researching it and decided it was her best option. She doesn't know how to diet....I know she's tried but when you live your whole life a certain way, it's hard to imagine making the dramatic changes. So, she quit smoking over a year ago...has been to numerous appointment, pulmonogists, psychiatrist, etc and they have finally given her the ok to have the surgery.

My whole family is ecstatic. We all worried that she could have massive heart attack or stroke at anytime. She has a son and new granddaughter and I think it really made her want to be around to see her grow up. I think that it pretty powerful. My aunt has been like a mother to me and it really makes me hopeful that she will be in a much better place a year from now.

I would nutrure your mil experience. I know that they have to be on a liquid diet for a month or so after the procedure. Why don't you research making delicious smoothies or meals for her...I'm plan on putting together a gift like this and maybe a yoga mat and video.

Good luck
Great post!
Ammaarah is offline  
Old 08-25-2008, 02:35 AM
 
Freud's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Crazytown
Posts: 1,180
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yeah, I wouldn't say anything either. I've had the lapband done and no one tried to talk me out of it. It was a decision I made for myself, and it was not an easy decision (and it's not the easy way out). I ate a lot of crap before my surgery too. It was kind of like a "last supper" every night. I knew that once I got the surgery my life was going to change. I was overweight since I was 3 years old, according to my medical records, and it didn't help that food was such a huge deal in my house growing up (and it still is, although I'm the only overweight one, somehow). Anyways, as my surgery approached, I gained more weight because it was like a final goodbye to food. Unless you have issues with food, you might not understand that. But that's what it was, and now I eat healthy. I'm still overweight, but losing steadily since my surgery, and I eat better than anyone I know(and obviously much smaller portion sizes). I know that it's typically believed that past behavior predicts future behavior, but for a lot of people that is not true. If you looked at my diet right before my surgery, you would have probably guessed that I would have failed with the lap band. But I didn't. I would trust your mother in law's decisions about her own health. Support her through it. People with a great support system are more likely to succeed with any kind of weight loss surgery. Leave the decision making to your mother in law and her doctors.
Freud is offline  
Old 08-25-2008, 10:41 AM - Thread Starter
 
p1gg1e's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,217
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Thanks for your insight
p1gg1e is offline  
Old 09-01-2008, 05:39 PM
 
fek&fuzz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: down in the hunker
Posts: 8,679
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
fek&fuzz is offline  
Old 09-01-2008, 05:45 PM
 
Nickarolaberry's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Running away...
Posts: 4,468
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
A good gastric bypass surgeon will require fairly extensive nutritional and psychological involvement both before and after surgery.

 "Now bid me run, and I will strive with things impossible." (William Shakespeare -- Julius Caesar)

Nickarolaberry is offline  
Old 09-01-2008, 07:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
p1gg1e's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,217
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nickarolaberry View Post
A good gastric bypass surgeon will require fairly extensive nutritional and psychological involvement both before and after surgery.
Yeah she is starting this now....I guess I feel that the program is lacking

Thanks fek&fuzz for the links they are helpful. I don't think I'll say anything but at least I'll know what is to come in the future.
p1gg1e is offline  
 
User Tag List

Thread Tools


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off