Thanks for the replies. It's a weird question in a way. Maybe I'm just not ready to commit either way, but I don't think that's it. Every time I go to the United Church, I immediately have that "give me more, this is what I want, I am home" feeling.
I LOVE how the church itself is with the children. I DO NOT like the Sunday school program. I know I can help change it by volunteering to teach, which I will; but overall, I feel like it's too far away from what I want for dd. For example, on World Food Day, the minister preached an incredible call-to-action sermon. I thought, "Perfect. Dd will learn about WFD and how Jesus told us to stand in solidarity with people who were in need, or something like that. Instead, they went to a "computer lab" and played video games about Moses and did colouring. I gently asked if the Sunday school followed the church's program and the teacher said no, they have a set curriculum to teach the kids about the Bible. The thing is, I guess that's what most Christian parents want for their kids--it is Sunday school, after all. But a) I do not want dd playing computer games at age 4, anywhere; they apparently do this at least 1 week out of 5 and a "show" another week, b) it's much more important to me that dd learn about being in community and participating in the very valuable stuff the church does than learn about Bible stories I don't believe literally, anyway. It just feels like the Sunday school is locked in time back to when I was a kid; in the Church basement, away from everyone else. It does get better as the kids get older, it seems; more involvement, more outings, more sophistication in their approach.
So my solution to that is to a) teach SS myself and b) take dd to participate in the all-ages services once a month and go from there. Try to find out when the computer/TV lessons will be and keep her away on those days as much as possible. And take her to all the church dinners, pageants, etc the church does. She doesn't need to go to church every week at this age, IMO.
I do love this church and I think I am ready to commit. Dd will learn as she grows up that believing in God is action-based, because they do practice a very living faith. It's really dd's religious education in SS that concerns me and disappoints me about this church.
Today when I took her to preschool, there was a beautiful lit menorah and the teachers were explaining about Hannukah. Dd asked me if we could have Hannukah. Sigh. I want to celebrate everything.