Join Date: Mar 2007
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Krista; blessed mother to four earthly beings and three non-physical. Basking in my beautiful rainbow.
So checked out goop. Checked out the "be" article on parenting acceptance. Really wanted to like it because I need to be more accepting but one line made me really want to .
"Some of us are born to parents who judged, ignored, or hurt us. The choice for us becomes, are we going to be a slave to our past – “Why did they do this to me?” – or are we going to grow from the pain – “Why did I need them to do this to me?” One focuses on blame and victimhood; the other puts us in control of our lives."
I think there are a couple of ways you could look at this and I totally get all the head scratching.
First, I hated goop. I don't use that word often, but yeah, I think it's stupid. I'm going to listen to Gwyneth Paltrow about anything, why?
Anyway, it took me several years of really, really sitting with this thought and trying to understand it. As a survivor, I just couldn't get with the thought that I somehow *asked* for what happened to me.
But then I did a lot more reading and lot more self exploration and I get this argument now. I don't know that I fully agree with it 100%, but I think that there's some merit in finding a way to distill the positives gained from the negative experiences in my life. Maybe that's not the most eloquent way to phrase it, but it makes total sense to me.
A lot of people who attempt arguments like this (I haven't read the article and I don't know anything about the author - just generalizing here) believe that we, as children, chose our circumstances in which we were born into. Ok, maybe not chose every last little detail, but we chose those people to raise us knowing that there was a possibility of neglect, abuse, rape or divorce. And we, in our infinite knowledge, chose them anyway.
So, what can we learn from those experiences? Why did we choose to go through that? What did we gain?
It made me really angry to begin with. It almost made me never listen to or read anything else written by Abraham-Hicks or Byron Katie or Louise Hay. But then I was curious and so I read some more and I developed my own thoughts about it and I came to a greater understanding of this particular statement.
I think it is akin to the quote "The Lord never gives us more than we can handle." It can be a comfort to some people to think they went through those experiences for a purpose, to learn something about themselves or the world or whatever.
I am going to bed and I have absolutely no hope that this thread will be open in the AM. I am being completely honest and forthright here, not snarky at all. I think it's a good question, I think it makes a lot of LoA stuff hard to digest for a lot of people; I know it did me. I have an understanding now though that I never thought I would have and I see why I went through what I did.
♥ blogger astrologer mom to three cool kiddos, and trying to figure out this divorce thing-- Blossom and Glow ♥