I am questioning my religion for the first time in my life. Help me figure this out. - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 31 Old 12-28-2010, 04:28 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I was raised a very strict mormon all my life.  I married in a mormon temple and did everything I was supposed to do.  But after I married my dh and he isn't so crazy about scripture reading and going to church all the time, I am slacking on those things.  I try to do the right thing but it is so hard especially without support.  Lately I have been feeling like it isn't right as I was following our health code and we my kids and I are sick on it.  So then I wonder if that is wrong.  It is the little things that are bothering me and I feel shaken in my faith.  I am doubting the truthfullness of it.  And I feel like God has left me in the dust a long time ago as I needed him so many times in my life and I feel like he isn't always there.   As I have been less and less spiritual, my gift of dream has taken toll.  I mean that I have been having terrible dreams now and 3 yr dd had a terrible evil experience.  I feel like I have to stay with my religion or I will go to hell and also my family will turn away from me and judge me.   And I don't want an evilness in my home.  Oh I just need so advice/support.

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#2 of 31 Old 12-28-2010, 08:38 AM
 
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I'm sorry you are having such a rough time in your faith, especially your fears of evil/hell and judgment from your family. I couldn't read without offering a hug.gif.

 

I'm sure others here will have good advice for you. I lost my faith. It was a very long, slow process that took years (I was raised evangelical).

 

I hope you find the peace of mind you are craving. hug2.gif

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#3 of 31 Old 12-28-2010, 09:04 AM
 
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I don't know much about mormonism, like the health code you mentioned and everything. But it sounds like two things are happening: you have fallen away from your faith because you feel unsupported and you are starting to question the doctrines of your faith. Maybe these two lead into each other, but I'm wondering what kind of support you are looking for.

If you have questions for people who have questioned the Mormon faith and stayed or questioned and left, I'm sure there are a few posters around here who could give you their perspective. If you are looking for ways to get back in the spiritual habit, that's something that many people of all faiths can relate to. If you want to strengthen your faith, have you tried talking to your pastor/reverend? (Not sure what the term is for Mormons, sorry!) Or even your doubts, do you have a spiritual advisor of some kind that you can bring your concerns to?

In my experience questioning my faith, I found it very helpful to read a lot by people who criticize it (ex-members or people of other sects who speak out against it) as well as going to the orthodox teachings and writers to read the official Church position on things and especially reading stuff written by new converts to the faith. I got a really broad perspective, from people who ended up HATING the religion to people who absolutely love it and found so much peace there. Plus I learned so much about the theology and reasons WHY my religion does the things they do. My experience with that led me back to my faith and strengthened it a lot, but I know many people end up taking a different path. hug.gif it is a very hard place to be in, especially when you feel like you are going against your family, your salvation, what you are familiar with.

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#4 of 31 Old 12-28-2010, 09:52 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you, thank you for the replies.  I am not sure what I am looking for with this thread, but am open to any kind of insite/prespective.  I feel like I don't know who I am anymore in a way so I am kind of searching for myself too.

 

I need to talk to my bishop, but he is so busy and when I am free of children for an hour, it seems he is busy.  Hopefully I can meet with him soon.

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#5 of 31 Old 12-28-2010, 06:36 PM
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I've BTDT.  I was raised very Mormon but have since left the church.   I can't tell you whether or not to keep your faith, but I can tell you that you are a wonderful person, no matter what.  Don't let anyone tell you any differently. 


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#6 of 31 Old 12-28-2010, 06:53 PM
 
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Hugs Mama.

 

I'm not Mormon but I do have LDS friends. I don't think that following the health guidelines is any guarantee of avoiding sickness.. just as I don't believe following God's directions in any way guarantees us prosperity or anything material.  From what I remember about the health guidelines in LDS circles, there is a lot there that have proven over time to be very beneficial; however, were not known at the time to be so... such as avoiding tobacco.  Utah has one of the lowest obesity rates in the country--and many contribute that to the LDS population.  So while they might not be a guarantee that you will never get sick, I do believe they have benefits. :)

 

As for spiritual support, it can be very hard when you can't find spiritual support with your husband.  I wonder, does your Ward have any sort of women's groups you could join? Weekly Bible study or something like that?  If you can't see the Bishop, could you perhaps meet with his wife?

 

I don't get the idea from your post that you're truly looking to leave the LDS church, but instead, you need more support on your spiritual path.  However, if I'm misreading that, then I agree with the above posters--and encourage you to check out some ex-Mormon websites.

 

I wish you peace in your journey.  


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#7 of 31 Old 12-30-2010, 03:08 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for all the support!

 

I finally met with my Bishop and he helped me in many ways.  He was very supportive and didn't push me to get to church more either but encouraged me to invite God into my life more.  So now I am starting trying to find who I am.  I am going to spend time with my kids and teach them about Jesus and take some time for myself to really feel it as I cant keep living numb. 

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#8 of 31 Old 12-30-2010, 06:42 PM
 
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that sounds wonderful.  I wish you all the best and hope you find peace.  I know it's not the same thing at all, but I found great peace in returning to the church and viewing our health issues from a new perspective-within the context of religion.  That's one of the ways in which things fell into place for me.  I know that doesn't help you, but I guess the point is you never really know when and how things are going to come together.  Holding out hope that you experience it sooner rather than later, but I trust it will be in perfect timing.

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#9 of 31 Old 12-31-2010, 05:23 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Panserbjorne View Post

that sounds wonderful.  I wish you all the best and hope you find peace.  I know it's not the same thing at all, but I found great peace in returning to the church and viewing our health issues from a new perspective-within the context of religion.  That's one of the ways in which things fell into place for me.  I know that doesn't help you, but I guess the point is you never really know when and how things are going to come together.  Holding out hope that you experience it sooner rather than later, but I trust it will be in perfect timing.



How did you go about this?

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#10 of 31 Old 12-31-2010, 05:48 AM
 
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Hmmm, I'm not sure there's a concrete how and given that we're not talking apples to apples I'm not sure what my specific journey has to offer.  I'm Lutheran and given that I don't know a ton about LDS I just don't if there's crossover.

 

What I can say is that I spend the vast majority of my life feeling abandoned by God.    I was chronically ill, and have had more surgeries/procedures than most folks out there.  I was also in and out of hospitals with documentable things that never got diagnosed until after I had kids.  The fact that my kids had the issues they did, and my dd was so sick from birth, just sort of reinforced that feeling.   I was sort of feeling like I was in God's blind spot, as one friend put it.  I was able to use all I knew about religion to bolster my case.  Until my understanding of religion changed.

 

At some point I had what I guess I'd call an awakening...though that sounds odd.  It was more of an opening.  You know that moment when something clicks?  When you realize your perception is off and if you just step a little to the left you see the whole picture and it finally makes sense?  It was like that.  My brain processed something differently and as a result my heart opened.  It wasn't that I was heavily reading scripture or attending services, or surrounding myself with religious-minded folks.  It was totally just an "a-ha" moment in everyday life.  It is undefinable, and I guess it didn't really change anything except my experience.

 

All of a sudden the challenges didn't read that way.  They were no longer evidence of God ignoring or punishing me, they were parts of my journey-things I was supposed to experience.  Same with my kids.  I won't say I necessarily felt they were gifts, they just no longer factored in as evidence I could wield against the existence of a higher power.  (and yes...parts were certainly gifts and we can talk about that too if you like.)

 

In terms of following the doctrine and the health code, do you want to talk about that specifically?  If that's a big area of struggle I don't know if I can help at all, but I'm certainly willing to try.  Perhaps some of the scholars can jump in too. 

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#11 of 31 Old 12-31-2010, 07:04 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for sharing PB.  I don't really know what I am looking to hear but I do know of that blind spot feeling.  It is amazing that you can see your illnesses as something positive.  I am still no where near that.  I do feel angry at God all the time for our health as in our religion we are promised good health if we do what it says.  That is where my doubt in my religion comes in.  I sometimes want to become budhist or something just to say HA HA to God.  Crazy I know.  I was abandoned by my mother as a kid and now it is like God has abandoned me.  I have decided now that I am not making any denials in my religion now but just focusing on Christs mission in the new testament.  At the moment that is the only thing that brings me peace.   

 

My other goal is to try to count my blessing more.  The glass half full.

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#12 of 31 Old 12-31-2010, 07:18 AM
 
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ah.  I see.  for me there is nothing definitive like that within the text.  I don't read there being any promises so that part isn't a conflict for me.  I'm sorry.  Is it that black and white in LDS?  Is that how it's interpreted by everyone?  I mean no disrespect, I'm just not familiar at all.

 

In terms of the feeling of abandonment-have you ever talked to someone about that?  I know you use energy medicine too, have you ever addressed that?  It's a pretty significant issue for you, from what you are saying.  Perhaps starting there will help lead to more peace?  I had abandonment issues as well, not the same but that's the feeling I had-the message was that I didn't matter.

 

I understand completely focusing on the NT.  It's what I'm doing now.  In fact, that's part of what helped me open.  It was from a place of love that things started to make sense.  I couldn't get on board with the doom and gloom but realized it was largely my issue because of where I was focusing my energy.  There is a necessary duality, but the fear based stuff really bothered me.  Until I realized that it doesn't at all need to be fear based, that that's not the message.  I mean, I was never even taught that it was-I just jumped there myself as a child and couldn't let it go.

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#13 of 31 Old 12-31-2010, 07:38 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Our health code is pretty cut and dry but not all even focus on it and say it is just a vague code, but for some they take it word for word.  When I talked to my Bishop he said there are exception for people like me, but that is what gives me doubt.  Not only did I not feel well following the health code, but I got very very sick.  I am still trying to figure things out.

 

I have gone to couseling when I was very depressed years ago, but I am not depressed now.  Homeopathy helped a ton too.  I think it would proabaly do good to see someone now as I just came to realize that it was not normal what happened to me.  I couldn't even talk about what happened until about 6 months ago.  I used to think that God got me through it.  I am trying to not loose that feeling.

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#14 of 31 Old 12-31-2010, 07:45 AM
 
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Something I would like to add is that I have noticed sometimes feel that if they have a problem with a doctrine or practice of their particular faith, if they question that one thing (or one set of things) they have to either accept it all blindly or dump religion/faith entirely.  My family spent time in a cult.  Many of my peers who left the cult did exactly this--the cult teaches X.  The cult resulted in emotional (and sometimes physical) suffering.  Therefore anything remotely resembling X must be rejected, angrily.  I think what was different for me was that my family left the cult together, and I had watched my parents maintaining the essentials of the Christian faith while questioning doctrine/practice in a couple of different churches.  Doctrine is important, and so is true teaching, but God is bigger than doctrine, and sometimes true teaching gets mixed up and messed up by fallible human teachers.

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#15 of 31 Old 12-31-2010, 10:32 AM
 
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Bluebird - first, *hugs*. It is really not easy to try to maintain a good spiritual environment at home if you if your dh is not really on board, and it is hard to struggle alone.

I'm curious... exactly what parts of following the Word of Wisdom are causing you trouble? Is it eating mainly grains? That's the only part I could think of that would probably cause serious health problems, but there could be other things. As I'm sure you know, most LDS people stick more to the don'ts (coffee, tea, alcohol, tobacco) than to the dos (grains, little meat, plants in season), and I guess I don't see negatives coming from following the 'don't' part.

For me, I have come to accept that the promised blessings of health and strength may not come immediately, or when I want them. I am at peace that God will fulfill all of His promises in His own time and His own way. Other people, of course, will tell you that this is a load of garbage. All I can say is that my personal experiences with God lead me to continue believing.

One last thought - you mentioned wanting to become Buddhist or something as a sort of in-your-face to God. That alone tells me that, somewhere inside, you still believe in Him. Because otherwise, there would be no one to be in-your-face to. I definitely went through a period of my life like that - I was very angry with God, and I wanted Him to know it. But I found that although I could disbelieve in His love and care for me, I could never disbelieve in His existence. Slowly, over time, my belief in His love and care came back, along with my belief in the church. I think it's great that you're working on studying the New Testament. If faith is going to return, it will return with faith in Christ, since that's really the heart of what the church is all about. I know that's the way it happened for me.


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#16 of 31 Old 12-31-2010, 06:53 PM
 
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I am so hoping you find answers to questions you have and put to rest any doubts that God has abandoned you. My understanding is that Mormons use the Bible and the Book of Mormon. Is that right? I dont know what the ratio of consideration is (50-50?). As a suggestion, would you consider having a bible study by an ordained minister? Jehovah's Witnesses offer free home bible studies at your convenience and they dont expect you to become a Jehovah's Witness... it's just about learning important info like what God's personal name is, what his purpose is for the Earth and why he allows badness to continue, what is the condition of the dead and lots of other amazing things. It is NOT a conversion process. Dont stop searching or questioning. hugs.


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#17 of 31 Old 01-03-2011, 11:17 AM
 
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Hi Bluebirdie,

Sounds like you are going through a rough spot.  All I can say is to focus on Christ and your relationship with Him.  All things come into being through Him and all things cohere in Him.  You may know that I am not a fan of religion from my other posts.  I think that people try to live up to God's standard because their religion tells them to do this, but it has to be done by the Spirit who indwells you.  If you are using your natural strength to live up to a religious standard, well, your strength will run out.  But this is a good thing!  Once your strength runs out then you will turn to God for strength, and let Him do it.  Be dependent on Him.  Focus on Christ and not the do's and don'ts in your religion.  If you are struggling to contact the Lord, there are some simple practices you can try.  Calling on the name of the Lord Jesus, mingling your Bible reading with prayer (pray reading), declaring spiritual facts like Jesus is Lord, Christ died for me, Praise the Lord...

 

These practices are usually best  done out loud and over and over until you sense the presence of the Lord.  He's there, but you have to exercise your spirit to get the flow going.  It's like priming a water pump.  The first few pumps you won't see water but eventually water will gush out. hth!


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#18 of 31 Old 01-03-2011, 11:45 AM
 
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I, too, was raised in the Church and married in the temple. I lived with doubt and fear and guilt for years because Mormonism wasn't working for me. I thought there must be something wrong with me, that I must be in some way unworthy that God wouldn't speak to me and remove my doubts. I could never do enough. I wish I had listened to myself and seen how unhappy Mormonism was making me instead of keeping with it, unfulfilled, for years. Ultimately I came to the conclusion that Mormonism wasn't what it claimed and I quit. It was very scary. I thought bad things would happen to my family. That didn't happen. Instead I was happier--I never realized how much guilt I had been living with and how afraid I had been of thinking differently. You may not come to the same conclusion, and that's ok. But you should really trust yourself. It's ok to have doubts. It's ok to look into other religions. It's ok to find out what makes you happy. God will absolutely not punish you for asking honest questions. A religion that sews fear instead of peace cannot be true.

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#19 of 31 Old 01-04-2011, 03:32 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks everyone for all you wonderful comments. I am taking everything into consideration. The other day some women from a different church showed up and I did the bold thing and asked if they would come by again for bible study and told them I wasn't interested in joining their church. They said they would love to come over!! I have been feeling more peace lately as I am trying to not feel bad about my lack of conviction with my church. My children have been feeling it too as last night my LO's actually slept through the night after we read bible stories together.

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#20 of 31 Old 01-04-2011, 03:37 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Spring Babies, thanks for sharing as I do have the greatest fear of leaving my church.  But if I do leave, I don't think I would join another church.  I still feel some great things of my church ring true.  I think I have just gotten away from just feel good Jesus teaching and too much into the specifics of it.   Oh I still don't know what is right...

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#21 of 31 Old 01-04-2011, 04:24 AM
 
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*HUGS* I was raised LDS, too, and left the church 10 years ago. Yes, it's a scary thing to do, and a scary thing to think about. 

 

Whatever decisions you make, whatever answers you find, just keep in mind that it's important not to make choices based on fear, especially big ones like deciding the direction of your and your children's lives. Do what feels right to you, no matter how hard it may seem. Some of my family is uninterested in me now, and I never talk to any friends from church. But when I think about it, that's better, really, because why would I want to continue relationships with people who only care about one thing we had in common, and nothing else? 

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#22 of 31 Old 01-05-2011, 05:33 PM
 
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The main culprit in your case is not your questioning of your religion but rather fear and fear itself is the only thing to be afraid of because it can trap and enslave you. God does not care about religion because our true purpose on earth is to experience and grow in wisdom and we do that every minute of our lives. I have also studied near death experiences and reports by people who have gone to the beyond and back. Those whose experiences brought them to the presence of God were able to experience the true nature of God and that is love. Also they found out God was not interested in theology and has pure unconditional love for all life. I am myself no longer follow any group or church because I truly believe you do not need either to commune with God. All you have to do is find a quiet place and relax your mind and open your heart. God is with all creation all the time. It is just a matter of letting go of the fears and beliefs that make us think we are not worthy. The only one who will ever judge us is us.

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#23 of 31 Old 01-05-2011, 06:03 PM
 
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I don't know if this will help, but I will throw it out there just in case.

 

My friend gave me this book to read (and I really didn't want to!).  I looked into the guy that wrote it, and it turned out that he was very well-educated and basically wondered what religion was right- how all these denominations could read the Bible and be so different.  So (while he was pretty much denomination hopping =) he went back and studied the early church, what the very first followers of Jesus believed and practiced in the very beginning.  It blew me away, and was one of the major things that made following Jesus 'make sense' for me, in huge leaps and bounds, like never before.

 

It's a quick read, so I just wanted to recommend it. 

The Kingdom that Turned the World Upside Down by David Bercot

http://www.amazon.com/Kingdom-that-Turned-World-Upside/dp/0924722177/ref=ntt_at_ep_dpt_1

 

I truly hope that helps.  ((hugs))

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#24 of 31 Old 01-28-2011, 11:51 AM
 
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Hi Bluebird  (super long post, sorry!!)

 

I so hope I can say something which helps you.  I also grew up Mormon, and still am...although I definitely "dabble" in other spiritual teachings.  I went through a huge crisis in my life a few years back, and as devoted as I always have been, I almost left the church.  I go now, but I have a vastly different perspective than I used to. 

Please don't take this the wrong way...but it seems you are getting caught up in the bureaucracy and outward appearances of doing right--as defined by the church.  Truly, doing right, is doing what God would have you do....not because He's some sort of dictator or control freak, but because He has the perspective on our life, on our souls, on the world, and seeks for our perfection and growth.  The stronger your relationship with God, the more aware you will become of His intent and purposes for you, and the less reliant you will be on some outward set of rules.  I don't drink alcohol/smoke/etc. not because "the church says so" but I have a deep sense of its value to me, and I recognize that any addiction is us turning to food/smoking/alcohol/whatever instead of turning to God. 

I'm a little puzzled what you would be eating on the Word of Wisdom that would make you sick?  I imagine grains, as a pp said.  Many people are allergic to or have sensitivities to grains (myself included!).  But the church should be a means of you becoming more spiritually aware and tuned to God.  Not a means of telling you what to eat every single meal...kwim?  I personally like Dr. Mercola's website for health info!  Just like I like Mothering.com for info on family life!  There is a lot left to our own choices.  I've never sat in Relief Society and heard a discussion on breastfeeding or co-sleeping, or any other such baby raising topic.  But I do hear a lot "be righteous mothers"  "be the best mother you can" and general stuff like that. 

In fact I've seen some atrocious examples of parenting in the church, like one mother hissing at her kids in Sacrament meeting "you better shut up and be reverent or else I'll take you out and lock you in the car!!"  This was in the middle of winter in Wisconsin, so it was quite the threat!  I was horrified!  poor kids.  But I realize she simply did not have the skills or knowledge to cope with the half dozen kids she had.  She so needed a copy of Mothering magazine.  Maybe in her eyes she was teaching the kids respect and love towards God!  She was trying to follow rules and force her children to, rather than really listening to the Spirit.  She was caught up in appearances rather than true love and devotion towards God.

An equivalent example of a father in a hallway with his 4 yr old son, saying "you get back in primary and behave or else you'll get a spanking like you won't believe!"  He was a Mormon father thinking he's doing a favor to his kid by forcing him to primary, but if he'd payed any attention to the Spirit, would he threaten and scream at the child like that?

I have also seen some amazing examples of kind and loving parents in the church.  Another father I saw lovingly held and softly spoke to his little boy all through Sunday School, because the boy didn't want to go to primary.

All I'm saying, is key to being a good person is to follow the constant guidance and intuition God sends you.  Forget all the little nit-picky rules for a while--what to wear, what to think, what to speak, how many ear piercings you should have blah blah blah.  Forget worrying about what others think of you.  Go to church because you want to reflect on and worship God, and want to make your life more God and Christ centered.  Don't go because you feel obligated or worry what will people think if you don't go. 

 

And forget this belief "if I am a good person, only good things should happen to me."  It's simply not true!  I'm an amazing and wonderful person orngbiggrin.gif.  Perfect in every way!  But I've been raped, abused, homeless, jobless, scandalized, neglected, sick,...I could go on (right now my mother-in-law is living with us--life is sooo unfair)!  Somehow, reading my scriptures daily didn't keep life from happening to me!  The scriptures promise "blessings" for following God.  And I have been enormously blessed--blessed with seeing the angels who watch over me when my own family abandoned and ostracized me.  Blessed with a deep sense of right and wrong.  Blessed with an awareness of the constant guidance we are given. Blessed with dreams and visions which give me insight into life.  Blessed with an awareness of when evil is around and to be on guard.

 

Study Buddhism, not to spite God, but as another means of connecting and growing spiritually.  I have listened to Pema Chodron, a Buddhist teacher, and especially enjoyed her interpretation of The Way of the Bodhisattva.  I have learned Transcendental Meditation and that alone has made a huge impact on my life.  I also enjoy listening to Caroline Myss.  I consider her a great spiritual teacher.  And she's not Mormon! orngtongue.gif  There are many others... seek truth boldly wherever you may find it!

 

Wish you all the best in your search for God...

1hautemama and liza-s like this.
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#25 of 31 Old 03-23-2011, 10:12 AM
 
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Originally Posted by bluebirdmama1 View Post

Thanks for sharing PB.  I don't really know what I am looking to hear but I do know of that blind spot feeling.  It is amazing that you can see your illnesses as something positive.  I am still no where near that.  I do feel angry at God all the time for our health as in our religion we are promised good health if we do what it says.  That is where my doubt in my religion comes in.  I sometimes want to become budhist or something just to say HA HA to God.  Crazy I know.  I was abandoned by my mother as a kid and now it is like God has abandoned me.  I have decided now that I am not making any denials in my religion now but just focusing on Christs mission in the new testament.  At the moment that is the only thing that brings me peace.   

 

My other goal is to try to count my blessing more.  The glass half full.

 

Whenever you are promised blessings from God in this life for obedience to Him or to a particular Church or set of rules or mandates, and God does not follow up on those promises, you have every right to have doubts.  But I would encourage you not to have doubts in God, rather doubt those who have made false promises on His behalf.  There are many false prophets and false religions who will claim to be speaking on God's behalf, but really have no authority to do so.

 

It may seem like God has abandoned you because He is not following through on what others have told you He would do for you.  But this is not the case.  God has NOT abandoned you or your family.  He loves you more than words could ever express.  You said that you didn't know if you left the Mormon Church if you would join another.  If I have any advice for you it is do not give up on God because of the false teachings of fallible people.  Instead, seek to find the truth about who God is and what He has actually done for you.

 

You are absolutely right to be concerned about your eternal salvation.  It is a matter of utmost urgency and priority that you can be certain what your eternal destiny holds for you.  It is imperative that you learn the truth not just for yourself but also for your children.  I highly encourage you to not give up on God, but to seek His truth in a Church that has not given you false hope in His intentions for you life.  Do you really want to entrust the certainty of your eternal salvation to people who were wrong about such an important teaching?  The God of the Bible is the True God; you're not wrong about that!  

 

Continue seeking the truth about Him and find a Church that accurately portrays the real promises He has made to you and your family in His Word.

 

I hope this helps.  Feel free to message me if you want suggestions on churches in your area that portray God faithfully according to the Scriptures.

 

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#26 of 31 Old 03-23-2011, 04:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks Dallas, some great words I needed to hear!
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#27 of 31 Old 03-23-2011, 10:46 PM
 
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As you know from my other posts I have recently let go of protestant evangelical dogma or any systematic theology in favor of simply experiencing Jesus and the Kingdom of God. Years ago I almost lost my faith in God entirely, while on a mission trip of all places. It was a scary, dark time and I could only talk to 2 people about it...everyone else I put on a smile for. I didn't have a triumphant return to faith, just a peace returned that God was in fact GOD.

These scriptures started echoing in my spirit and are a guiding light in my current spiritual journey: "Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life" John 6:68,""I do believe! Help my unbelief!" Mark 9:24, "be still and know that I am God" Psalm 46:10, and "Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live," John 11:25, and “Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it." Matthew 13:45 and 46. I pray they bring you comfort as well.


Happily married to DH for 6 years, in process to foster-adopt 3 children DD4, DS3 and DS2. We may be bringing half brother age 9 one day as well! We are not infertile, we just have decided that since there are precious children who need homes there is no need for us to have biological children.

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#28 of 31 Old 03-28-2011, 07:11 PM
 
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I'm Mormon born and raised though not as... Molly as some other members who were raised in the church. My family was pretty inactive. 

 

Anywho to make this ubber long story short my husband and I no longer feel the need to answer to the LDS church. Contrary to popular belief the LDS church doesn't own Mormonism. Once I became aware of this and embraced it Mormonism opened up for me as did my spirituality. The church can be very restrictive, they specialize in micromanaging, so much so that we are raised to believe there simply is no other way. But there is. 

 

Like another poster said about being Mormon and a dabler in other things that is my husband and I as well. 

 

I did leave the church and Mormonism for a few years, came back to full activity, and now here I am doing my own thing with my family. There are so many of us out there! The internet is an amazing place for things like this. I am a member of a few Facebook groups full of Mormons in the "other" category. Ex-LDS, Independent Mormons (like us), active LDS but on the fringe, etc etc etc. Have you heard of Mormon Stories? It's an awesome podcast that addresses Mormonism from a whole bunch of different view points. 

 

I don't want to make this too ling but if you'd like to chat PM me any time. 

 

I'm so sorry you are going through this! I know how much it tears one up. 


Maggie, blissfully married mama of 5 little ladies on my own little path. homeschool.gif gd.gifRainbow.gif
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#29 of 31 Old 03-28-2011, 10:18 PM
 
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I just stumbled on this site the other day...

 

http://www.newordermormon.org/


Me (39), DP (45).  Together since 04, married in June 07.
TTC 10/10 to spring 2012.  Fall 2012--moving on to foster-adopt.

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#30 of 31 Old 03-29-2011, 05:53 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Nice to hear from you, Maggie. I just posted a bit to you in the mystic thread. Cool what you have come to realize about your own religion. I thought about staying mormon part time, but I find I am like an abused in the face of the abuser and I emotionally shut down. If my former bishop or the prophet had told me to jump off a cliff or be a suicide bomber, I probably would have considered it. That is how brainwashed I was. So now I am staying far away form it until recover.

Thanks Happycalm for the link. Off to check it out...
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