None of those things, really; I just honestly don't believe it. When I began examining my religious feelings, in high school, I just really couldn't find anything that I honestly *believed*. The fact that so many religions have so many of the same stories just reinforces, for me, that it is simply something that people made up to explain the unexplainable.
However, most of my closest friends are christians, and the group of volunteers I support/work with/admire are some very hardcore Catholics. Like, Catholic Worker Catholics. I *love* them, I admire their movement greatly. We get their newsletter. My dh has decided to do the "revolution through vegetables" thing, and he is designing a tattoo for himself based on the idea. We would love to rent out our house for a while and go work in a Catholic Workers Shelter. If I could actually *believe* in the story of Christ, I would totally be Catholic. I seem to have the same philosophy, except for the belief in God thing.
For a long time I thought that everything was random, and it was all science, but lately I have experienced things that leave me conflicted. One part of me still believes that the universe is truly random. But another part feels that there must be some unifying energy that we share and experience. Mainly I feel this way because of certain births I have attended. Births where things went wrong, but I could look at the infant and know that everything would be okay; births where the mother had a dream about the birth, and it was exactly how the actual birth happened; births where a tragedy was avoided simply by what at the time we thought was bad luck, etc, etc.
I don't know; it is just so amazing, some of the things I have seen, and I can't chalk them up to coincidence. But my brain can't wrap around a divine being, certainly not a "God" in Christianity. I guess, like most thinking people, none of us are stagnant in our beliefs, and even those of us who don't believe still have evolving and growing spirituality and beliefs. Does that make sense?