The Pros and Cons of being raised religious - Page 4 - Mothering Forums

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#91 of 98 Old 12-08-2007, 11:29 AM
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oh, and btw, there are atheist quakers, in case anyone was curious.
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#92 of 98 Old 12-19-2007, 02:40 AM
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Originally Posted by CMcC View Post
Okay, I understand somewhat. The people we are praying for, it's a list. We don't know last names. We don't know anything about their situation. Since you've read my post, you know a lot more about me than I know about the people I am praying for. We're not discussing their situation, we are simply praying for them to come back to God. But you are right about one thing, whoever put those people on the list do believe that that person's decision to leave their faith was not the best move. ...
This still seems odd to me, because it seems as if you're asking your deity to intervene with someone's free will.

I was personally raised without religion. We got cursory explanations of what other people believed, but not a lot else. I never missed the "community" as even as a young child I did not see religion like that. I remember at age 6, when the neighbor kids weren't allowed to talk to us anymore because we didn't go to any church, thinking that their church was causing them to be divisive and irrational. Not in those terms of course, but those concepts.

I do think I missed out on some historical things, though. Like it or not, religions, particularly Christianity, have had a LOT of influence on humanity's progress throughout the centuries. Although it was something we went over in history classes I don't think I understood some of the undertones as well as someone who had a Christian, or really any monotheistic background. Religion has been mythology to me for as long as I remember, so I lacked understanding of the context in which many people were operating in these historical lessons.
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#93 of 98 Old 12-19-2007, 02:49 AM
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So true for me. I was raised Catholic, went to an all girls, private Catholic school, went through baptism, communion, and that 3rd thing where we pick Saints names (forgot the name). However, my parents were not really practicing. We didn't go to church, and I wasn't made to feel guilty over any sin.

Still, I was pretty much an atheist by age 14. This was due to the religion classes I had to take in high school. The whole thing was WAY too contradictory for me - turn the other cheek, no an eye for an eye, you have free will, no it's God's plan, be fruitful and multiply, no birth control is OK, you will burn in hell if you break any sins, but no if you repent at the last minute you get to go to heaven ... and then the worst for me - even though God is omnipotent and all knowing, he still watches you all the time and is interested in you (at 14, I couldn't fathom that an omnipotent being could care less what I did on any given day) ... honestly, it was just too much for me. Plus, honestly, I found the idea of heaven boring.

I am a VERY logical, rational, consistent thinker. I needed a philosophy and value system was was rational and consistent. So, I ditched religion at age 14, started delving into philosophy and by age 18 set up my own code of ethics based on reason and logic.

I'm also a hardcore skeptic/scientist. When I see it, when you prove it, that is when I'll believe it. Before then, it's all just a theory to me. I just don't understand faith at all.

Everyone's experiences are different, of course. This was mine. My partner had the same experience. Also raised Catholic and also atheist as a teenager. I actually have quite a few friends who say they are "recovering Catholics." So, maybe, there is something to it. Or maybe not. Since atheists/agnostics are in the minority from what I can tell.
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#94 of 98 Old 12-20-2007, 04:11 AM
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Pro: I know a lot about the religion I grew up with and a few other religions with similar principles. I knew the basics of how to get in touch with a higher power as a child through prayer and meditation. The following may sound like a con but I see it as a blessing in disguise. As an adult, I could really decide what not to be. The best lesson I learned, to put it harshly, is that my family's religion is very devisive, contradictory, mysogynist, and even dangerous if followed literally. Yes, many manage to be peaceful and good people following said religion however I have many issues with organized religion and that is just one of the few. I have read the scriptures and have formed these conclusions.

Con: I have a lot of guilt about a lot of things... could never enjoy sex, had a few prejudices that took work to get rid of. it was shoved down my throat and made my childhood a miserable time. It became my identity and one that I didn't particularly ever like. Put a lot of fear in me when I was a child. Yeah, I was the kid who counted my sins and worried if I was going to hell for having impure thoughts. I hate that my leaving this religion has caused a huge rift with my family. but I'm also mad at them that I didn't get to have a choice when I was forced to follow their religion.

Op: this is an excellent thread! I want my child to choose her own religion (if any)but I don't mind exposing her to different faiths in an objective manner. .. a big reason why I like the UU church.

Mama to a 3.5 yo dd
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#95 of 98 Old 12-20-2007, 04:03 PM
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Originally Posted by captain optimism View Post
Are you an American Jew with a family that came from Lithuania? Because you aren't giving anyone a picture of your experience if you tell them "Lithuanian" if you grew up Jewish. It was a distinct and very interesting subculture that was not well-integrated into Lithuanian society. (and not really into most of the other E. European societies, either--or we wouldn't be here in the US!)

Jews use Jewish as an ethnicity for important historical reasons!
Originally Posted by Fyrestorm View Post
Well, I am no longer Jewish at all..I have initiated into another set of beliefs all together, but I am American, I was born and raised here.

I don't see how it's any less of a full picture than my recovering Catholic - Buddhist DH saying he's Italian - just Italian.

Perhaps I am not understanding your question correctly...or maybe I just don't consider Jewish an ethnicity.
Originally Posted by mom2seven View Post
You may be right in that they are more interested, but my experience with immigrants from E. Europe is that they make a distinction between say "Russian" or "Polish" and "Jewish" as nationalities. To this day.
Originally Posted by SaraFR View Post
At least until 10 years ago (I don't know if it changed since then), if you were born and bred in the Ukraine but born Jewish, your identity card listed "Jewish" as nationality. You weren't "Ukrainian", you were "Jewish".
I was pretty much coming to say the same thing. On my grandparents census papers from the most recent year I could find, probably right around the time they came here, for instance, they are listed being from: "jewish". They lived in a large immigrant area and others would say "germany" or "russia" or "whatever" but my grandparents and a few others on the block were from "jewish"

Last year I was trying to do a bunch of geneaology, and everything says "jewish". For language either hebrew or yiddish.
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#96 of 98 Old 12-20-2007, 10:53 PM
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Originally Posted by Ecstatic View Post
So true for me. I was raised Catholic, went to an all girls, private Catholic school, went through baptism, communion, and that 3rd thing where we pick Saints names (forgot the name).
That "third thing" is confirmation.

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#97 of 98 Old 12-22-2007, 02:14 AM
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i was raised in an athiest home that was very disallowing of religious questions. i first realized this when i went to kindy & a classmate asked what church i went to & when they found out i didn't, i was told myself & my family would burn in hell. when i came home to ask my parents about it, i was told that religion was for weak-minded people who needed a crutch to validate their superiority & eliminate their fears. thus began my search for god. i spent my childhood, teen years & into my twenties searching for spirituality. i felt "out of the loop" in a lot of areas socially because there are so many areas in american culture that have religion as an undertone. certain holidays i didn't understand & sayings that were beyond me. i still identify as an athiest & am quite happy to do so now, but i do wish religion had been presented a bit more matter of fact to me as a child so that there would have been less room for fear tactics & misinformation to scare & confuse me.
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#98 of 98 Old 12-23-2007, 09:15 PM
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Haven't read all the responses, but I think I grew up in the worst situation.

If you're going to raise your children in a religion, then do it. If not, then don't. I grew up in a household where I had to practically get on my knees and beg my parents to come to church to see me if I was performing. They would NOT go to church. But I was expected to, and when I came out of the closet I was constantly told about how I was going to hell. I don't really consider that being raised IN a religion - I consider it being raised with religion shoved down your throat by hypocrytes. Ugh.

I grew up going to a baptist church. My dad was technically baptist (he grew up in a super strict religious household which is probably why he refused to come to church with me but expected me to go). I started studying religion at 10, became pagan at 12, and just got baptised in the LDS church last weekend. My children will be raised pagan/LDS (DH is still pagan), but with religious study as a large part of their homeschooling. I believe all children need some foundation, but they also need parents who are willing to let them make their own choice. We are huge on "we believe this but other people don't and that's okay" in this house. So if my children end up being one of those other people, great for them.

I do look jealously at the people in my church who were raised LDS. It seems to much simpler for them. They have a basis to work off of. They don't have to change their whole life, because it's just the way they've always done things. I wish I had that comfort in my upbringing.

Momma to DS1 4/5/06 nursed with IGT to self-weaning at 27 months, DS2 1/20/09 still nursing, DS3 due late November - planning to tandem with IGT and SNS
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