Polite suggestions please? JWs won't leave us alone. - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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Old 05-26-2008, 07:50 PM
 
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I've tried the Catholic thing to no avail.

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Old 05-26-2008, 08:05 PM
 
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I told them that this is an atheist household and we just wouldn't be interested, but I hoped that they had a wonderful day. It seemed to work, they haven't been back.
This usually works for me too. "I'm atheist and my dp is a lifelong Catholic. I'm not going to take your literature because it will just go directly into the recycle bin. Have a nice day!" without any snark at all. True and usually effective.

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Originally Posted by gabysmom617 View Post
And that's why I'm telling you:
Saying "I'm not interested" is not going to keep them from coming back.
Telling them, "PLEASE DON'T COME BACK" is what is going to keep them coming back. I know this because we are not allowed to go back to houses that specifically ask us to not come back. "I'm not interested" is a generic response that implies that maybe later you will be, maybe some other circumstances will make you one day desire to have some one sit down and read a comforting scripture to you or something.
I really want to thank you for letting us know this information. Because I think the high majority of the population would assume that "I'm not interested" is a polite way to say "Don't come back". So even though we are annoyed that people of any religion would return after we clearly stated we weren't interested, GM didn't make the rules on what to say and when not to come back to knock another day. GM shouldn't bear the brunt of our annoyance at the rules of her specific religion.

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Originally Posted by gabysmom
YES THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO DO WANT TO HEAR WHAT WE HAVE TO SAY.
I believe that there are. But I think those people will look for you. I understand that your religion tells you to look for them, and that is why I am polite - even though I vehemently disagree.

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Originally Posted by gabysmom617 View Post
They said "they weren't interested", but they didn't mean for the JW to never come back.
I disagree. "I'm busy nursing a baby and reading a story to a toddler and trying to make dinner right now - tomorrow during nap time would be better." means come back. "Hmmm... I have been searching for a church that fits my views, but we are about to leave for my MIL's 80th birthday party." means come back. "I'm not interested" is polite for "don't come back". I find it a little offensive that I have to be rude (often with my kids standing at my heels) to be left alone, when I try to teach my kids to be polite. I wish a polite "We're not interested" would do the trick. Because when it doesn't, I have to then explain to my kids that people who sell/offer/whatever term is acceptable religion door to door are rude and disrespectful by not leaving us alone, coming unasked on to our private property, disrupting our meal, baby's nap, etc.

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Originally Posted by EviesMom View Post
Live your religion, and those who are curious or need to find it will come to you.
I think this is great, and I wish it was that way. If what you have/know/believe is so great, you shouldn't have to convince someone; it should be clear to everyone around you.

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Originally Posted by kmeyrick View Post
I was trying to be polite to them, but they weren't leaving, because they "wanted to comfort me in my hour of need."
This happened to us right after my dad died. My mom was raised Mormon in a different state, but hadn't followed that religion for 21 years when Dad died. The day after he died, our house full of relatives and dear friends and people bringing unbelievable amounts of casseroles and flowers, the doorbell rings. It was two young men from the Mormon church, there to help my mom in her time of need. I was standing right behind her. She was very nice to them, but asked them to come back another time as she had three young kids to tend to, and they hadn't even had the funeral yet. She told them they could come back in a few days. They kept trying to convince her to let them in now. She wouldn't. She finally got tired of arguing with them, and said she was going to close the door now. She was very kind throughout the entire conversation up to this point. As she starts to close the door, one put his foot in it! We had a very old house, with a very heavy old door. She had reached her breaking point and slammed the door on his foot. I have never been so proud of her. He limped off and they never came back to our house.
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Old 05-26-2008, 08:07 PM
 
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For some reason not one JW missionary has ever accepted even a glass of water from us.
Perhaps they are discouraged to do this for safety reasons in their training. Actually, I'm surprised LDS and Baptist missionaries aren't trained this way as well.

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Old 05-26-2008, 08:09 PM
 
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The last time they came I told them I was getting ready to nurse my baby (which was true, I had JUST sat down to feed her!) and they apologized and left and I haven't seen them again, yet.

My DD has inadvertently helped by running to the door naked a few times, "Oh, you're about to bathe her? We'll come back another time"

I didn't bother to tell them she is ALWAYS naked if she has a say in the matter

nothing more to say I guess :
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Old 05-26-2008, 09:46 PM
 
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YES I READ THE OP.

And that's why I'm telling you:
Saying "I'm not interested" is not going to keep them from coming back.

Telling them, "PLEASE DON'T COME BACK" is what is going to keep them coming back. I know this because we are not allowed to go back to houses that specifically ask us to not come back. "I'm not interested" is a generic response that implies that maybe later you will be, maybe some other circumstances will make you one day desire to have some one sit down and read a comforting scripture to you or something.

If you say, "PLEASE DON'T COME BACK TO THIS HOUSE", then we must oblige, and keep a note on that. Personally, I'd prefer it. I wouldn't want to waste time coming to a house where I'm not wanted when there are actually people out there that actually WANT to hear what we have to say. I know it's impossible to believe, but YES THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO DO WANT TO HEAR WHAT WE HAVE TO SAY.
I was always curious about this. Do you actually have lists that help you keep track of which houses you've visited and which ones to take off the list? Interesting....

I usually say, "no thank you" in a way that means it's not up for discussion. I have also said, "God and I are good". I have had JW and some other religion come by (baptist I think, suggesting I come to bible study)...the other religion was more disrespectful of my saying I'm good.
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Old 05-26-2008, 10:07 PM
 
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years ago I told some JWs I was Jewish. They acted like that was terrific and told me they could "fix that too". I was totally mortified. I did not even know what to say to something like that. I just shut the door with them standing there.
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Old 05-26-2008, 10:23 PM
 
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they only visited me once. i told them i wasnt interested and they havent come back 1.5 yr later. you just must have some very dedicated people coming over.

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Old 05-26-2008, 11:55 PM
 
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Originally Posted by ~Jenna~ View Post
We've mostly had Baptists come to our door. I don't think we've had any LDS, but we have had JW's. I always tell them we are Catholic and they freak out and leave and never come back. Seriously are people taught that Catholics are the devil or something?
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Originally Posted by Olives View Post
I was wondering the same thing... maybe this should be it's own thread but anytime I mention to anyone that I'm Catholic when they come to the door I can almost see the blood drain from their faces and they can't get away from me fast enough. I honestly can't understand that reaction as hard as I've tried. I can't imagine what these poor people are being told but, it makes me feel so sad for them.
Some other religions (some sects of Baptists among them) consider the Catholic Church the Whore of Babylon

So that might explain it

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Old 05-27-2008, 06:18 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Too much good logic to ditto. I honestly don't know what regular person would think 'I'm not interested' means 'please come again'.

It sounds to me like 'polite' and 'JW' can't exist together, so I'll take your advice gabysmom, and be blunt. Thanks for sharing the insider info.

Thanks for the suggestions everyone - now that we've been enlightened about the special secret passwords, maybe we can all have a Saturday go by without interruptions.
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Old 05-27-2008, 01:55 PM
 
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I think we all learned something here
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Old 05-27-2008, 02:02 PM
 
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What I don't understand either is why are Christians trying to convert.....other Christians? They may not be JWs, but they are already Christians so why bother?
JW's think that all christian religions are part of christendom, and christendom is false religion identified in revelations as Babylon the Great Harlot. All religions, no matter if they are christian or not, are false religion to a JW. Only JW's have the "truth" and only they will survive the very fast approaching armageddon. Well, only the good JW's anyway. This is why they are rude at your door, to them it is a life and death matter. You will soon die and they are trying to warn you.
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Old 05-27-2008, 02:19 PM
 
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I was always curious about this. Do you actually have lists that help you keep track of which houses you've visited and which ones to take off the list? Interesting....
Yes it is VERY organized! Each state is divided into "territories" and you must attend the congregation in relation to that territory. Each territory is split into small sections, and are issued to the congregation in the form of "territory cards". As a JW, you would check out a territory card and work the entire card before returning it as completed. In order to work an entire care, you go up and down each street on the card, knocking at every single door you come too. If the person is not home, you write it down on your "not at home" sheet. Another day you will return to do the "not at homes". If a person is home, you do your "presentation" ( a prepared speech designed to sway the listener to accept your offers). If you are successful with your presentation, you will likely have "placed" a watchtower and awake magazine, or a tract, book or brochure with them. If they sense any interest from the "householder" (even if they do not place anything) then you become a "return visit". A return visit is written down in a JW's return visit book and notes about you are made. For example, "so and so, lives on [insert address here], just had a death in family, bring brochure about losing dead loved ones on next visit, call back during afternoons, works in the morning". You will know if you are a return visit because the same person will keep returning to your home, but will likely bring a different partner each time. Return visits are often presented with the option of a "study" which means the JW will come to your home and study with you out of one of their publications. You will be asked to look over the information beforehand, underlining answers to questions asked on the bottom of the page, and keeping in mind any questions you have. They will then set up a time to study for an hour once a week. With long term "studies" they will try to get them to attend meetings (church), become a "publisher" (going door to door and preaching) and then get baptized. "Not at homes" are tried about three times, and then an old magazine or tract is left in the door. They try to work their entire territory at least once a year, and if a congregation is having trouble doing this, another congregation may volunteer to help them out. They also have special tract campaigns which are global events, were they just blitz the territory, going to every single house but not keeping track of "not at homes", just leaving the special tract at each door whether the person is home or not. They are a very organized and industrious bunch.
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Old 05-27-2008, 02:20 PM
 
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Originally Posted by jennica View Post
JW's think that all christian religions are part of christendom, and christendom is false religion identified in revelations as Babylon the Great Harlot. All religions, no matter if they are christian or not, are false religion to a JW. Only JW's have the "truth" and only they will survive the very fast approaching armageddon. Well, only the good JW's anyway. This is why they are rude at your door, to them it is a life and death matter. You will soon die and they are trying to warn you.
But don't they have a really limited number of spots, like 144,000 or something, which are already filled? Looks like I'm screwed anyway, unless I take somebody's spot.
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Old 05-27-2008, 02:42 PM
 
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But don't they have a really limited number of spots, like 144,000 or something, which are already filled? Looks like I'm screwed anyway, unless I take somebody's spot.
I was wondering about that too.
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Old 05-27-2008, 02:51 PM
 
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If a person is home, you do your "presentation" ( a prepared speech designed to sway the listener to accept your offers). If you are successful with your presentation, you will likely have "placed" a watchtower and awake magazine, or a tract, book or brochure with them.
Ahh, so that is why they offer to just leave "some reading material" with me when I tell them I am busy/not interested. I don't go to the gate, so they leave it in the mailbox. They get their presentation points I guess

nothing more to say I guess :
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Old 05-27-2008, 02:57 PM
 
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jennica Thank you very much for that complete explaination.
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Old 05-27-2008, 03:14 PM
 
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Gabysmom617, you are just making excuses why it's okay to bother people with your religion. Here's my code, when I say, "I'm not interested" that means "Get the hell of my property and stop bugging me."


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I tell them thank you, but I am a committed Catholic. They look at me like I am Satan incarnate and walk away quickly.
Try telling them you're atheist . The one and only time we ever had JWs come to our house I went out and chatted with them for a few minutes. I was trying to politely convince them that I wasn't interested in anything they had to say. The guy couldn't take the (obvious) hint that I was a lost cause so I finally said "Look, you're wasting your time. We're atheist." The young boy with him thought that was neat, but he jumped back like I'd turned into a snake. He asked me if that meant I worshipped the devil . I forget my exact response, something along the lines of atheists don't believe in the supernatural. Anyhow they left and have never come back.

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Old 05-27-2008, 03:25 PM
 
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But don't they have a really limited number of spots, like 144,000 or something, which are already filled? Looks like I'm screwed anyway, unless I take somebody's spot.
They believe that there is a class of people who are among the 144,000 who have a heavenly hope, but the rest of the JW's have an earthly hope, which means that after armageddon comes, the earth will be restored to a paradise, and the JW's who survived will live there in peace and harmony forever. They think humans will be restored to perfection and will live forever and ever on paradise earth.
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Old 05-27-2008, 03:30 PM
 
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jennica Thank you very much for that complete explaination.
Your welcome, but I forgot a couple important details! The time that is spent preaching is kept track of and reported to headquarters along with the number of "return visits" and "placements" (books, magazines, tracts, brochures). An average JW is told to get in about 10 hours or more a month of preaching time, and a "pioneer" gets 70 hours a month. If you stop getting in "time" you are no longer counted as a JW, even if you consider yourself to be one. The lowest you can get in is an hour a month, and you get this in formally or informally. "Informal witnessing" is when you meet a JW out and about who is not going door to door preaching and they try "witnessing" to you by working their religion into the conversation.
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Old 05-27-2008, 03:34 PM
 
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Hope this isn't too

I found this whole thread very interesting. My husband really doesn't like anyone to come to our door uninvited - salesperson, religious proselytizer, or anything else and he is tells them all so in no uncertain terms without worrying too much about politeness and they usually don't come back. What I find surprising in this thread is the incredible hostility toward the people who proselytize door-to-door. I don't find knocking on my door to tell me about your religion rude or offensive in and of itself. The same person coming back repeately after you have said you are not interested is, but that has never happened to me or anyone I know. I don't have any problem with people giving me literature either. We have the Book of Mormon because some LDS missionaries gave it to us. I was curious to know what it said and I never argue with a free book!

My mom was always very polite to the JW people who came to our door and she told me they have done a lot of work in support of free speech. I recall a little pink book that was given to us that I read simply because it was interesting. I read it the same way I might read about Greek myths or ancient Egyptian religions. And once, again, I don't argue with free books!

Many of the previous posters have talked about how coming to your door is a waste of the missionaries' time. I would like to point out that for most of these missionaries, the prosyletizing is an act of faith. It doesn't matter if they never convert anyone. Conversion isn't necessarily the ultimate goal. I asked some LDS missionaries about this and they explained that they can't even convert people anyway. Their view was that God converts people, not them. They are sharing about their religion as an expression of and obedience to their faith. They are not predators and I don't think they get "points" for converting people.

Final word: I am UU and in 2006 my minister gave this sermon (scroll down to skip the Call to Gather and the readings) on "Door-to-door Religion" that mentioned some JW people who came to his door. I enjoyed this sermon very much. Question for the JW and former JW people reading this: Do you find this sermon offensive?

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Old 05-27-2008, 03:37 PM
 
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Your welcome, but I forgot a couple important details! The time that is spent preaching is kept track of and reported to headquarters along with the number of "return visits" and "placements" (books, magazines, tracts, brochures). An average JW is told to get in about 10 hours or more a month of preaching time, and a "pioneer" gets 70 hours a month. If you stop getting in "time" you are no longer counted as a JW, even if you consider yourself to be one. The lowest you can get in is an hour a month, and you get this in formally or informally. "Informal witnessing" is when you meet a JW out and about who is not going door to door preaching and they try "witnessing" to you by working their religion into the conversation.
That is interesting. I was friends with a girl who was JW and she never tried witnessing to me.

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Old 05-27-2008, 04:12 PM
 
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I have to admit that I admire their persistence with me. For the record I'm very polite and we chat, but I've flat out told them that I'm not interested in converting. I think they feel that they need to save me, because I've mentioned several times that I'm a member of the local United Church (we're the kind that doesn't solicit conversions, allows same sex marriages etc.). They really tried hard to get me to come out to one of their events on Easter. I politely informed them, that we celebrate Easter at this time and my son was being baptised. They tried to talk me out of it.

Anyhow, they're nice people, and while I felt it was my duty that I was a lost cause for them, they're determined. Oh well, I like to chat and they respect the fact that if I say I don't have any time, then they leave. I do however think it's pretty rude and clueless to continue bothering people if they say they're not interested.

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Old 05-27-2008, 04:20 PM
 
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...I did venture a feeble objection at this point, but the woman was incredibly old and frail and tiny, so when she said 'No, that's all metaphorical' I felt it would be like kicking a kitten to push the issue further.

But the next time she showed up, I was in No Mood because my Catholic mother-in-law was about to show up, and I didn't think I could handle a JW-Catholic-Reformed Baptist threeway without ushering in a little personal neighborhood Apocalypse...
:::

OH MY. Your Apocalypse comment nearly made me wake a sleeping baby. Too funny.

I totally understand the "kicking a kitten" thing... the only JW that ever showed up here (we're rather rural) was a little grandmotherly woman.

Two JW women showed up at my parents, though (also rural) and gave them a little concern... they looked like social workers! (Not knocking social workers, but who really wants them showing up at your house? Not a good thing.) They were from the West Coast, though, which I guess means we don't have a strong JW presence here in the middle.

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Old 05-27-2008, 04:30 PM
 
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This thread is really miffing me. :::

I'll just come in here and say this one thing, and them I'm leaving.

If you don't want us to come back JUST TELL US.

If you simply say, "I'd appreciate it if you didn't come back to this house", then that will be the end of it.

All these insulting "things that did the trick" are really not necessary.

Ugh. I don't know why I keep coming into this particular forum. I NEVER see any threads as insulting to other religions as they are to JW's. It's one of the few things that turn my stomach about MDC.
I am very sorry if you are offended and I don't think most of the ppl here mean to offend and I appreciate the fact that YOU seem to respect ppls wishes BUT I asked the SAME TWO JW ppl not to come back once a week for TWO YEARS. Nicely, politely and with no animosity. I have the same issues with Mormons (though they only come once a month). I have NO problem with ppl witnessing for their religion BUT when I ask you nicely to STOP ringing my doorbell at 9 am and you do it once a week for two years I don't think THAT is polite AT ALL. We HAVE a "No solicitations OF ANY KIND" sign by the door that has been consistently ignored. Our neighbors even hung a sign saying "No I don't want to convert to your religion-Please do NOT ring bell or leave literature" and even THAT did no good.

FINALLY I started refusing to take the literature and offering literature of my own (pagan). THAT is what worked.
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Old 05-28-2008, 04:37 AM
 
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Final word: I am UU and in 2006 my minister gave this sermon (scroll down to skip the Call to Gather and the readings) on "Door-to-door Religion" that mentioned some JW people who came to his door. I enjoyed this sermon very much. Question for the JW and former JW people reading this: Do you find this sermon offensive?
I think this sermon was great. I don't agree with his synopsis on why the JW's come calling, because I was one and I know why we came calling, but I think he made very good points and he was dead on with everything the JW's said! I could just picture the scene.

I think you may be getting the wrong idea because this thread was basically started asking "how do I politely get rid of the JW's" so everyone is coming at it from that perspective. If this was a thread just talking about door to door religions it may have a different spin. I personally am looking forward to the next visit I get from a JW. I think the minister in your story handled it great and I wish more people would do that. I wish people would ask the JW's questions about their beliefs and challenge them on some of them, but do it very politely like this minister did. But, the question was 'how do I get rid of them' not, 'what are some questions to ask JW's in order to have an interesting conversation with them'.
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Old 05-28-2008, 04:44 AM
 
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wow -- I can't believe this thread is still going on
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Old 05-28-2008, 12:33 PM
 
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Thank you for the ideas in this thread. I also have had a group of JWs who visit my house a lot. I have tried "we are not interested" (guess according to sources here this means come back), "please leave us alone" (which they also came back after... so I don't get it) and "We are atheists" (also has not worked).

I don't really know what to do beyond these things. I have seen the suggestion here to ask them to be taken off their visit list, so I will try that. They usually come by every other weekend and lots of times on holidays (they knocked on thanksgiving and new years day)

It's actually caused us to buy a new door with peep and different kind shade for the door window. No kidding...that's how bad it has gotten.


edit: my husband has also tried just shaking his head and mouthing "no" when they are at the door and not opening it. This has also not worked, as they came back a few weekends later.

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Old 05-28-2008, 01:56 PM
 
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The best suggestion on this thread is to offer them your own literature. That is very polite, and you can simply say, "sure, I'll take your magazines if you agree to take the literature about my beliefs, then we can have an equal exchange." They are forbidden to take your literature, which makes no logical sense and is quite rude on their part, so this will really throw them and likely get rid of them. It is not rude on your part at all to offer them literature for free, and honestly, you don't even need to have literature ready, simply mentioning it will do the trick. They may still try pushing their stuff, but just be polite and stick to the tactic, pointing out that you would like to have an equal exchange and let them know where your coming from. They don't have any good reason not to take your literature and may resort to immature statements like "if you come to my door then I'll take your literature" to which you can get a pen and paper and ask for their address. For those of you with a big problem, just print something up to actually take out and try handing to them. They will back away like your handing them a vile of disease, and you probably wont hear from them again. Sorry, I should have thought of that in the first place, it will work very well, trust me!
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Old 05-28-2008, 02:44 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jennica View Post
I think this sermon was great. I don't agree with his synopsis on why the JW's come calling, because I was one and I know why we came calling, but I think he made very good points and he was dead on with everything the JW's said! I could just picture the scene.

I think you may be getting the wrong idea because this thread was basically started asking "how do I politely get rid of the JW's" so everyone is coming at it from that perspective. If this was a thread just talking about door to door religions it may have a different spin. I personally am looking forward to the next visit I get from a JW. I think the minister in your story handled it great and I wish more people would do that. I wish people would ask the JW's questions about their beliefs and challenge them on some of them, but do it very politely like this minister did. But, the question was 'how do I get rid of them' not, 'what are some questions to ask JW's in order to have an interesting conversation with them'.
I think you're right, I did not take into enough consideration how the topic of the thread is going to naturally and appropriately restrict both the people who respond and the content of the responses to ones that are more hostile to JW and door-to-door religion in general.

I am glad I posted, although I probably should have posted in one of the more general "questions for JW" threads. Thank you for your response. I really appreciate your taking time to read the sermon and share your insights.


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Old 05-28-2008, 08:49 PM
 
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Just ask to them to put you on their "do not call list". They shouldn't come by again after that.

''''

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