Polite suggestions please? JWs won't leave us alone. - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 199 Old 05-24-2008, 08:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Apparently "we're active in a different Church and we're not interested" isn't clear enough. It's a waste of their time and my time, and I only throw the Watchtowers in the trash unread. How can I politely tell them not to visit us every week?

Thanks for any suggestions.
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#2 of 199 Old 05-24-2008, 08:54 PM
 
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I suppose calling the local church and asking to be removed from the list would be a good start. Explain that you will not answer the door to them and you have officially notified them that you have asked them to stay off your private property.
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#3 of 199 Old 05-24-2008, 08:59 PM
 
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I didn't really have issues with the JW ladies coming to my door; they were very nice and I didn't mind chatting with them whenever they came to visit. I would NEVER agree with the religion but didn't mind discussing it.

Then they (feeling encouraged by my lack of venom, I guess) left a copy of some book about "what the Bible is really saying" or something. They encouraged me to read it and write questions in the margins. I went through line by line, writing exactly the ways in which I disagreed with what the book (and the Bible in general) says. I handed it off to them pleasantly enough the next time they came over, and said they are certainly welcome to visit again if they'd like, but I will never be a convert.

That was about six months ago, and they seem to feel that I am a lost cause, as I haven't seen them since.
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#4 of 199 Old 05-24-2008, 09:09 PM
 
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In our case I'm nice but just tell them basically what you said and don't take their materials. I think not taking the materials is key. Taking the stuff indicates possible interest. So "I'm sorry, I am happy with my church and would not like to talk...no, I don't want your Watchtower. But have a great day!". I don't think I like the idea of contacting the church if you need to. But in my experience not engaging in dialogue and not taking the stuff is enough.

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#5 of 199 Old 05-24-2008, 09:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
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That's the exact book they left here yesterday! It's winter here, so it's going on the fire today.

Ringing the church is a good idea. Thanks for that.
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#6 of 199 Old 05-24-2008, 09:25 PM
 
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We live 6 houses down from the JW house. When we first moved in and the came to visit (unannounced of course) dh was in the living room putting on his boxers because I was folding laundry. They haven't been back in almost 8 years.
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#7 of 199 Old 05-24-2008, 09:59 PM
 
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I either don't answer the door or if I feel like it open it and nicely say I'm not interested, thank you and close the door. I do the same thing with the LDS boys that come. I'm not rude, but I'm not interested and honestly don't feel like standing there discussing religion with them. Sometimes a No Religious Solicitors sign has helped, sometimes they ignore that.
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#8 of 199 Old 05-24-2008, 10:21 PM
 
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I tell them thank you, but I am a committed Catholic. They look at me like I am Satan incarnate and walk away quickly.

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#9 of 199 Old 05-24-2008, 10:25 PM
 
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Not exaclty polite, but my FIL is notorious around the neighborhood for screaming obscenities in Italian at the JWs. They haven't been back since
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#10 of 199 Old 05-24-2008, 10:29 PM
 
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We are Catholic and have been known to answer the door with Rosaries in our hands.

Married to DH 7 years and have three fantastic kiddos! DS 6, DD 4, and DS 2 ...... lo and behold another is on the way!

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#11 of 199 Old 05-24-2008, 10:38 PM
 
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We too have been harassed by weekly visits from JW's and LDS . We made it clear that they are wasting their time (DH and I are both Baptist) .

Somehow no matter what it never stopped them - so we finally put a sign up that read "No Soliciting of ANY KIND".

If they still knocked on the door after that I would point to the sign and say "I don't feel that I could possibly have an intelligent conversation with someone who can't read" and then I would close the door. I know that sounds harsh but that was only after a last resort of telling them week after week that we were not interested.

By the way -- it did the trick ---- they all stopped knocking cause they didn't want to talk to me -- the rude lady
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#12 of 199 Old 05-24-2008, 11:43 PM
 
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All I say is "im disfellowshipped" and they usually turn around and leave without another word.

Possibly the only benefit of being officially "out"
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#13 of 199 Old 05-25-2008, 12:03 AM
 
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Tell them your an apostate and you have a lot of things you would like to tell them about their religion. You will never hear from them again.

Or, if you want to debate with them, read up on effective techniques here.

If you want to be polite, ask them to please put you on their "do not call list".
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#14 of 199 Old 05-25-2008, 12:19 AM
 
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I'm the world's worst at saying no and as a result was dealing with weekly visits for awhile. These ended the day our miniature poodle found the box of condoms under the bed, dragged out a whole strip, and rushed in to greet the visitors ... still bearing a mouthful of condoms. I was momentarily mortified -- until I realized they were even more embarrassed and eager to get away. (The dog was WELL rewarded afterward.)

Then, there was the former co-worker who (after about six months of monthly Saturday morning visits and polite requests to be removed from their call list) answered the door in the nude. He lived in that same apartment for 3 1/2 more years without another visit ... though I'm not sure the poor women who were calling on him that morning would have dubbed his approach "polite."
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#15 of 199 Old 05-25-2008, 12:26 AM
 
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They quit coming to our house the day our miniature poodle found the box of condoms under the bed, dragged out a strip, and rushed in to greet the visitors ... still bearing a mouthful of condoms. I was momentarily mortified -- until I realized they were even more embarrassed and eager to get away. (The dog was WELL rewarded afterward.)

Then, there was the former co-worker who (after about six months of monthly Saturday morning visits and polite requests to be removed from their call list) answered the door in the nude with a loud "What the **** do YOU want?!?" He lived in that same apartment for 3 1/2 more years without another visit.
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#16 of 199 Old 05-25-2008, 09:19 AM
 
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Some of these are not exactly polite. But funny.

We actually don't mind missionary visits from any church. Dh *loves* a good debate. However, once they realized dh was very firmly rooted in his faith and knows his Bible through and through, they stopped asking to come in. They still occasionally leave material in the door, but they only knock when his car is gone.

If he spots their car parked on our street, he goes out to chat with them and says "So, remember that Bible verse you were talking about? I wanted to discuss it more with you...." and their desire to get away from him becomes more and more apparent in their faces the longer he stands there. I feel sorry for them.
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#17 of 199 Old 05-25-2008, 08:14 PM
 
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My next door neighbors are very nice people. Very nice. So I'm afraid if I tell them what I really think of them coming by to talk about their faith with me every other weekend, they'd be rather upset. I've been thinking of putting up really obnoxious pagan symbols and wordage, though, to possibly get the point across that I am just. not. interested.

I really do love talking to them about gardening and our community. It's just when they are in witnessing mode that I want nothing to do with them.
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#18 of 199 Old 05-26-2008, 07:22 AM
 
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I *may* have discovered a way to deal with mine. The first time they came I was too shy/polite/wishywashy to stand up for myself, so I meekly allowed myself to be handed some literature and read a bit of Psalms on how the earth will never be moved, hence (apparently) the Apocalypse will never in fact occur. I did venture a feeble objection at this point, but the woman was incredibly old and frail and tiny, so when she said 'No, that's all metaphorical' I felt it would be like kicking a kitten to push the issue further.

But the next time she showed up, I was in No Mood because my Catholic mother-in-law was about to show up, and I didn't think I could handle a JW-Catholic-Reformed Baptist threeway without ushering in a little personal neighborhood Apocalypse. So I listened in a vaguely agitated way while she exposited a bit more Bible at me, until she said something about free will.

Me (thinking 'Smokering, are you a man or a mongoose?'): Ah. Actually I'm a Calvinist, I don't believe in free will.
She (puppy dog eyes): What?
Me (thinking 'Great, now she's going to fall and break her hip just to make me feel bad'): I don't believe in free will, I'm a Calvinist
The other woman, a girl about my age and fortunately more robust-looking: Oh, what's that? I haven't heard of that.
Me (taking a deep breath): Really? Well, it's kind of the opposite of Arminianism. it's the Reformed position. You know, um, Calvinism as in John Calvin; total depravity, unconditional election, limited atonement, irresistable calling, perseverance of the saints--

They were scuttling down the drive just as MIL got out of the car, and I haven't seen them since.

If decomposition persists please see your necromancer.

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#19 of 199 Old 05-26-2008, 10:51 AM
 
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They wanted to discuss bible interpretations with me, so I told them that this is an atheist household and we just wouldn't be interested, but I hoped that they had a wonderful day.

It seemed to work, they haven't been back.
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#20 of 199 Old 05-26-2008, 11:09 AM
 
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Dh loves to discuss the Bible with them, and share his own witnessing successes {which in fact left one woman stuttering something about 'wow. you are what they talk about in class' whatever that means} but since he's not here I simply say 'look, I've got elementary schoolers arguing the merrits of the 155mm towed vs the MLRS self contained upstairs and I really don't have time for anything else. So unless you want to offer your input on modern American artillery and back it up against kids who live and breathe this stuff, I'm not interested." I've used it on the Mormons, the JWs, and the Kirby peeps and none of them have returned. Now if only our Schwanns door to door guy wasn't a retired Marine...
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#21 of 199 Old 05-26-2008, 11:30 AM
 
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This thread is really miffing me. :::

I'll just come in here and say this one thing, and them I'm leaving.

If you don't want us to come back JUST TELL US.

If you simply say, "I'd appreciate it if you didn't come back to this house", then that will be the end of it.

All these insulting "things that did the trick" are really not necessary.

Ugh. I don't know why I keep coming into this particular forum. I NEVER see any threads as insulting to other religions as they are to JW's. It's one of the few things that turn my stomach about MDC.
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#22 of 199 Old 05-26-2008, 11:50 AM
 
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Originally Posted by gabysmom617 View Post
This thread is really miffing me. :::

I'll just come in here and say this one thing, and them I'm leaving.

If you don't want us to come back JUST TELL US.

If you simply say, "I'd appreciate it if you didn't come back to this house", then that will be the end of it.
Did you even read the OP? SHE DID say they weren't interested, and yet the JWs keep coming back!
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#23 of 199 Old 05-26-2008, 11:58 AM
 
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YES I READ THE OP.

And that's why I'm telling you:
Saying "I'm not interested" is not going to keep them from coming back.

Telling them, "PLEASE DON'T COME BACK" is what is going to keep them coming back. I know this because we are not allowed to go back to houses that specifically ask us to not come back. "I'm not interested" is a generic response that implies that maybe later you will be, maybe some other circumstances will make you one day desire to have some one sit down and read a comforting scripture to you or something.

If you say, "PLEASE DON'T COME BACK TO THIS HOUSE", then we must oblige, and keep a note on that. Personally, I'd prefer it. I wouldn't want to waste time coming to a house where I'm not wanted when there are actually people out there that actually WANT to hear what we have to say. I know it's impossible to believe, but YES THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO DO WANT TO HEAR WHAT WE HAVE TO SAY.
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#24 of 199 Old 05-26-2008, 12:03 PM
 
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I'm sorry, but why should we have to know the right phrase to make jws go away? I'm not interested should suffice. I've said please don't come back, and it didn't work anyways. At my last house, they would not leave me alone. I was so glad to move.

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#25 of 199 Old 05-26-2008, 12:04 PM
 
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I am truly sorry if you are offended. however I do think many of these posts are from people who have said "Please do not come back" and yet they do... I know that is true for us. We have even had do not disturb signs on the door when baby was sleeping -- they still knock. so I am sure that when someone says to you Please do not come back .. I am sure you don't ..however that has not been my experience.
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#26 of 199 Old 05-26-2008, 12:10 PM
 
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I'm sorry, but why should we have to know the right phrase to make jws go away? I'm not interested should suffice. I've said please don't come back, and it didn't work anyways. At my last house, they would not leave me alone. I was so glad to move.
i mean, it should be obvious. Most people with common sense, if they keep getting visits from a local organization or some such that weren't wanted would say, "hey, can you guys take my house off your list?" or whatever to get the point across that you don't want any more visits from them, instead of saying "I"m not interested...I'm not interested...I'm not interested...". It's not like it's some secret phrase that one "has to know" to work. It's just proper communication.

The next person that comes to your house may not know you told the last person that you weren't interested. If you tell them to make sure they never come back, trust me, they'll keep a record of it, and the next person should know not to go to your house.

I have many friends who are JW's who at one point in time regularly told Jw's that "they weren't interested", and they were glad the JW's came back because they may have gotten ill, or lost a loved one, and gotten comfort from the JW on that matter. They said "they weren't interested", but they didn't mean for the JW to never come back.

If you want them to not come back, then you need to just say so. It's just proper communication to get your point across, not a secret code.
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#27 of 199 Old 05-26-2008, 12:11 PM
 
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Did you read my post? I did say Take my house off your list and Please do not come back. Neither phrase worked, so you going on about proper communication is funny.

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#28 of 199 Old 05-26-2008, 12:17 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Decluttering Nut View Post
I am truly sorry if you are offended. however I do think many of these posts are from people who have said "Please do not come back" and yet they do... I know that is true for us. We have even had do not disturb signs on the door when baby was sleeping -- they still knock. so I am sure that when someone says to you Please do not come back .. I am sure you don't ..however that has not been my experience.
I've not seen a single post from anybody here who said, "I asked them to NOT COME BACK but they still do." I've seen people say that they put no soliciting signs on the door. Well, guess what? JW's don't solicit. Solicit is to ask for something; beseech for something. http://define.com/Solicit JW's don't come to the door to ask you for anything, they come to the door to offer you something, free of charge.

Nor do I see any post that says that there was a do not disturb sign on the door, and they still came. I'll reread, but I don't see it.

What I'm telling you is this: This is how it's SUPPOSED to happen. You tell them, I don't want any more visits from this house. And we make a note of that and be sure that everyone knows not to come back to your house. Any other "I'm not interested", "I'm a devoted this or that" is not going to work. Only telling them that you don't want anymore visits is what's going to keep them from knocking on your door.

If telling them that doesn't work (and it's supposed to) then look in your local pages, call the local Kingdom Hall and tell them that you don't want any more visits to your address, and that WILL work, although it's not really supposed to come down to that.

ETA:
I don't know where you live, thelissa, but you may have to call someone to get them to stop coming. It's really not supposed to be that way, so I'm not sure why you keep getting visits after telling them to stop. But if you call, or either politely explain to the next person that you keep asking for them to stop coming by and they are doing it anyway, I"m betting they'll apologize profusely and take care of the matter. No organization is perfect, and there are blunders and slip ups from time to time. But telling them not to come back the first time is supposed to solve your problem. We have special instructions to make it known to the rest of us if one house doesn't want any visits, and some one drops the ball ever so often. So you may need to be more forceful and open about the fact that you keep telling them to not visit and they keep doing it anyway. I don't think that's a frequent occurrence though.
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#29 of 199 Old 05-26-2008, 12:23 PM
 
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What I'm telling you is this: This is how it's SUPPOSED to happen. You tell them, I don't want any more visits from this house. And we make a note of that and be sure that everyone knows not to come back to your house. Any other "I'm not interested", "I'm a devoted this or that" is not going to work. Only telling them that you don't want anymore visits is what's going to keep them from knocking on your door.

If telling them that doesn't work (and it's supposed to) then look in your local pages, call the local Kingdom Hall and tell them that you don't want any more visits to your address, and that WILL work.
______________

I guess I just don't get that at all . I am a devoted Baptist - and they are wasting their time coming here .....and I have said that many times. I would have thought that would be sufficient enough. All I can say is WOW - just WOW.
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#30 of 199 Old 05-26-2008, 12:24 PM
 
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Yeah I don't get why the onus is on the resident either or why only certain phrases will suffice.

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