Christians: Thoughts on God and Our Fertility - Mothering Forums

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Old 10-19-2008, 06:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi! I've lately been wondering about my beliefs in just leaving my fertility up to God. I'd like to hear a variety of viewpoints on this.

I married at 35, and was blessed to get pregnant right away, so dd1 was born just a month before I turned 36. By the time she was a few months old, dh and I were both agreed on not using any contraception, and just letting God decide how many kids we'd have, and how close together.

Here I thought we were opening ourselves up to potentially having a bunch of babies really close together (I've always wanted a big family) -- but I didn't get my cycle back 'til dd1 was almost 2, and it was another 2 years before I got pregnant with dd2. So we now have 2 beautiful girls who are almost 5 years apart. I'm 44 and dh is 50.

I was initially sure that we were destined to have at least one more baby. When I miscarried last March, I felt like God was telling me that I would get pregnant again and carry that baby to term. I had a dream where dh put our newborn baby boy into my arms.

But now I'm wondering if maybe that dream was us reuniting with our miscarried baby up in heaven. I'm starting to feel really, really at peace with the idea of us just raising our 2 girls. Initially, I was very attached to the idea of getting pregnant again, asap. Then I started feeling more and more like it was okay either way.

Now I'm to the place of worrying about the coming depression. I'm thinking of my dh who has some serious health issues (including non-alcoholic cirrhosis), and of what we might do if there were no available jobs that he could do. He has serious back problems, and simply couldn't do manual labor (he currently works for a company that sets up conference calls for businesses, but keeps hearing rumors that they're downsizing, and that possibly 1 year from now he'll be looking for work).

I keep thinking that if there is a depression, probably one job that will still be in demand is Certified Nurse's Aide work, which I've done in the past, and my back is still good ... or I could even work unloading trucks, or whatever.

It's been very important to us for me to SAH with our girls -- but if a year or so from now, dh does lose his job and finds there are no openings in work he can do, I could feel okay going to work since our girls would be, like, 5 and 10, and would be with their daddy. Of course I'd look for hours that minimized my time away, such as either a very early or very late schedule, where a few hours of my work-time were during their sleep-time.

Anyhow, whereas I could feel okay about this after our youngest was 5 or so, I just wouldn't feel okay about it with a new baby. So I'm now wondering if we should "do something" to prevent pregnancy at this point.

At the same time, I fully realize that God holds the future. And He supplies all our needs. And if it's really best for us to stop with 2, He already knows this and wouldn't be giving us a 3rd, anyway. And if He gives us a 3rd, then that baby is ordained by Him and who are we to close the door?

Even with all these worries I'm having, I know that if I found out tomorrow that I was pregnant, I'd be thrilled -- well, cautiously thrilled, since I miscarried at between 8 and 12 weeks with my last pregnancy ... but once we were over the hump and well into the second trimester, I'd be over the moon with excitement. So would dh.

So maybe I've already answered my own question -- but I'd still love to hear more perspectives from other Christians on this issue.

Susan -- married unschoolin' WAHMomma to two lovely girls (born 2000 and 2005).
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Old 10-19-2008, 09:57 PM
 
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Honestly? I've always thought that if God wanted us to have control over our fertility, He would have made it obvious when we're fertile and when we're not.

He did. Natural family planning uses the body's own signals of fertility to get pregnant or not. God also gave us brains, and the ability to think, and I really don't think we'd have them if He didn't expect us to use them.

I am not in any way a believer in fate or predestination. It makes no sense to me on either a logical or a spiritual level that God would have given us the ability to make discernments if He didn't expect us to do so. Animals go into heat and lose control over themselves. We don't. There's a reason for this, methinks.

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Old 10-20-2008, 01:41 AM
 
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At the same time, I fully realize that God holds the future. And He supplies all our needs. And if it's really best for us to stop with 2, He already knows this and wouldn't be giving us a 3rd, anyway. And if He gives us a 3rd, then that baby is ordained by Him and who are we to close the door?
That's generally how we feel, actually. Particularly that last bit I bolded.

I do think we have a bit of an easier time with it than most, because of dh's growing up. His parents rejected bc in the most dire of circumstances, so dh is one of 9. The economic crisis we're seeing now doesn't scare my dh one bit, and having seen how he lived growing up and knowing that he grew up to be a very fine man indeed in spite of the difficulties , I too am finding myself outside the crowds who are completely freaking out. I guess the other part of that is that we don't consider ease and comfort all that essential for the successful completion of our earthly life, nor do we really expect it. It's nice when things are easy, but not the end of the world when they're difficult.

I think it's normal and reasonable to consider all these things though. When it comes down to it though, we have our convictions and beliefs, and we adjust our lives and expectations to the consequences of those convictions. For us personally, we believe that who comes into existence and when is in God's realm of authority, not ours.
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Old 10-20-2008, 02:14 AM - Thread Starter
 
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You both have made good points. There are fertility-signs -- of course, with me there were many times I was just sure I was fertile, while ttc dd2, and we made love but I just didn't get pregnant. So I quit paying attention to fertility-signs and finally got pregnant.

And, actually, I'd thought I was past my fertile time of the month when we got married -- but I still got pregnant on my wedding night (and of course was very glad). So I guess it takes a little more study for me to know when I'm fertile and when I'm not.

At the same time, I also realize ease and comfort aren't necessarily things to aspire to.

Additionally, I realize that for me to get pregnant at my age (44) and actually carry the baby to term -- well, that in itself isn't something to be taken for granted. Lots of women in my age-group need help getting pregnant -- so if I do get pregnant and actually make it all the way through it seems pretty definitely God-ordained.

So, maybe since I know we'd be thrilled with a new baby, and I also know I'm getting older and am less-fertile ... maybe I can keep doing as I've been doing, which is not "trying" either way. Then if we never have another, I'll know God's will lined up with my hunch about it being best to stop with 2.

And if we do have another, I'll know God quickened my old body for another miracle.

It's interesting hearing these points of view, and I hope to hear more.

Susan -- married unschoolin' WAHMomma to two lovely girls (born 2000 and 2005).
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Old 10-20-2008, 02:32 PM
 
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God also gave us brains, and the ability to think, and I really don't think we'd have them if He didn't expect us to use them.
i totally agree with this.

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Old 10-20-2008, 05:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
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God also gave us brains, and the ability to think, and I really don't think we'd have them if He didn't expect us to use them.
i totally agree with this.
I agree, too. I actually think everyone on this thread agrees with the above statement -- it's just really varied, how it plays out in our individual lives.

Great thoughts ... keep 'em comin!

Susan -- married unschoolin' WAHMomma to two lovely girls (born 2000 and 2005).
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Old 10-21-2008, 02:27 AM
 
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In my view, all the children that God gives you - regardless of the number and/or timing and whether you view that as a blessing or a difficulty - are given to you for the good of your salvation, and that is the only thing that matters in the end.

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You both have made good points. There are fertility-signs -- of course, with me there were many times I was just sure I was fertile, while ttc dd2, and we made love but I just didn't get pregnant. So I quit paying attention to fertility-signs and finally got pregnant.

And, actually, I'd thought I was past my fertile time of the month when we got married -- but I still got pregnant on my wedding night (and of course was very glad). So I guess it takes a little more study for me to know when I'm fertile and when I'm not.
Just wanted to say there are certain, uh, activities you would want to avoid during sex around your fertile signs if you are ttc, e.g. using saliva, standing up right after, etc.
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Old 10-21-2008, 12:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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In my view, all the children that God gives you - regardless of the number and/or timing and whether you view that as a blessing or a difficulty - are given to you for the good of your salvation, and that is the only thing that matters in the end.
Wow, that's interesting! Could you expound on that more?

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Just wanted to say there are certain, uh, activities you would want to avoid during sex around your fertile signs if you are ttc, e.g. using saliva, standing up right after, etc.
I hadn't heard about the saliva-thing, but I had heard about not standing up.

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Old 10-21-2008, 12:26 PM
 
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I think it's apparent that we're able to see, understand, and choose what to do about our fertility in a natural, God-given way. I can choose a lot of things though, as part of my free will.

Given that we have such a beautiful and natural way to make choices regarding our fertility, we're called to do so in light of God's teachings

For us the only reasons we would avoid pregnancy are severe medical issue, or sufficient family spacing to care for the child's needs. By that I mean that if my cycle returned at 3 months PP, we would avoid for a while as to not compromise milk supply.

XM,: mama to ds (5/08), dd (9/10) and ds (6/12) ! whale.gif :C.H.S & M.

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Old 10-21-2008, 12:33 PM
 
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In my view, all the children that God gives you - regardless of the number and/or timing and whether you view that as a blessing or a difficulty - are given to you for the good of your salvation, and that is the only thing that matters in the end.


I do not know how to "quote" and I'm not the person who posted this but I absolutely agree with this statement. Never before I had children, have I had to lean on God so much, trust Him so much, or learn more about Him (so I can teach the children). Further, it is through taking care of my children that I have learned (well, am still learning) how to pour myself out for others, serving them and caring for them. I am learning to put others before myself as Jesus did. And this definitely brings me closer to God, increasing my faith. My children are a channel of God's grace for my spiritual growth (and I hope and trust that I am a channel of God's grace for them).

Did that make any sense?
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Old 10-21-2008, 12:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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xecomaya, I can see how that would be a concern if your cycles return early!

In my case, I don't seem able to get pregnant and stay pregnant, 'til I'm hardly nursing at all. So that hasn't been an issue.

I'm actually thinking that maybe God isn't calling me to "do" anything about my fertility. Maybe He's just giving me my current feeling to let me know that He won't be giving me anymore.

But, as I well know, feelings can change. A few months ago, I was eager for pregnancy. And in a few more months, I may feel that way again.

I'm starting to think I was probably wrong to consider doing something to end my fertility. I'm already well aware that, at 44, things are leaning more in the direction of me not being very fertile. For me to take matters into my own hands, would essentially be shutting myself off to being surprised by God.

As Stacy mentioned, simply getting right up after being with my husband (which I normally do 'cause I gotta go pee), is already reducing my chances (which are already reduced due to my age).

I know God is powerful enough to work around all our human barriers, if He really wants to bless us with another child -- but I also know it's really not His way to force His will on us.

So now I think it's best to simply stay open to His will, while of course being honest about what's in my heart -- to not actively try to conceive, but not actively try to prevent.

I'm still enjoying and learning from everyone's input!

Susan -- married unschoolin' WAHMomma to two lovely girls (born 2000 and 2005).
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Old 10-21-2008, 12:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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In my view, all the children that God gives you - regardless of the number and/or timing and whether you view that as a blessing or a difficulty - are given to you for the good of your salvation, and that is the only thing that matters in the end.


I do not know how to "quote" and I'm not the person who posted this but I absolutely agree with this statement. Never before I had children, have I had to lean on God so much, trust Him so much, or learn more about Him (so I can teach the children). Further, it is through taking care of my children that I have learned (well, am still learning) how to pour myself out for others, serving them and caring for them. I am learning to put others before myself as Jesus did. And this definitely brings me closer to God, increasing my faith. My children are a channel of God's grace for my spiritual growth (and I hope and trust that I am a channel of God's grace for them).

Did that make any sense?
Yes, it makes total sense!

I think if I didn't have children, I'd probably feel a lot more joy about the economic stuff our country's going through now. Because of all the wonderful things that God can do through it. It's exciting to think of us moving toward a more sustainable way of life -- it's just extremely scary right now with children depending on us. But that's where faith comes in, right?!

Susan -- married unschoolin' WAHMomma to two lovely girls (born 2000 and 2005).
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Old 10-21-2008, 01:15 PM
 
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Its impossible to decide what God wants from you from outside sources. Does God not want me to have children? Or does he want me to go through infertility treatment to make me a more compassionate person? Or does he want to turn me towards adoption and give up the idea of bio kids? Theres no way for me to know what God wants so I have to do what feels best for my family and trust that its the right thing. Right now I think that is infertility treatment but it could turn to leading a child free life or adoption down the road. I think in the end all communication from God comes from a feeling of peace (God isnt really talking to us in any other way) so I say do whatever makes you feel peaceful.

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Old 10-21-2008, 01:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Its impossible to decide what God wants from you from outside sources. Does God not want me to have children? Or does he want me to go through infertility treatment to make me a more compassionate person? Or does he want to turn me towards adoption and give up the idea of bio kids? Theres no way for me to know what God wants so I have to do what feels best for my family and trust that its the right thing. Right now I think that is infertility treatment but it could turn to leading a child free life or adoption down the road. I think in the end all communication from God comes from a feeling of peace (God isnt really talking to us in any other way) so I say do whatever makes you feel peaceful.
songbird, thank you for sharing! You're absolutely right that it all comes down to what we (individually) feel most at peace about.

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Old 10-21-2008, 04:13 PM
 
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Wow, that's interesting! Could you expound on that more?

I hadn't heard about the saliva-thing, but I had heard about not standing up.

Saliva should NOT be used as a lubricant during sex (on him or her) if you are ttc because it actually acts as a spermicide due to the digestive enzymes present in saliva.

People tend to only view children as a blessing if they are healthy, no struggles, etc. The Christian POV is that even if your child is born abnormal, or with health problems, or into your poverty, or at a difficult time, or other such obstacles, it is also a blessing in that you are sanctified by your hardships. In other words, you are to thank God for your tribulations as well as your blessings, since they are all for the good of your salvation in the eyes of God. There are scriptural examples of this as well. (Job, etc.).
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Old 10-22-2008, 09:43 PM
 
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skipping ahead to post.. I didn't read the other comments.

anyhow my husband and I recently felt strongly individually that He wanted us to leave it up to Him. and we have. and it's hard b/c I get REALLY REALLY REALLY sick when I'm pregnant and i already have health issue... so it's no easy thing, I admit. But God putin on our hearts completely seperately! it was amazing really. I felt this strange and clear pull on my heart and I knew my husband wouldn't agree. so finally i prayed and said "if this is what you want for us you have to tell Sean too so we can be in agreement and honor you together. I can't make this decisions alone". and sure enough withing in a few days HE brought it up. himself. with no prodding from me.

I can't say if this is for everyone. i don't know yet. I'm more working on being in obedience to God, then worrying about the bigger picture later if that makes sense. like if God tells me to do something does it matter if He told the others too? I woud still need to obey. it's like when we look around to see who else is breaking rules so we can try to get away with it to. lol. it's like I tell my kids, worry about YOU doing the right thing, not if others are!

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Old 10-22-2008, 11:16 PM
 
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At the same time, I also realize ease and comfort aren't necessarily things to aspire to.
I do believe that's the truth. We worry about money too, about where things will come from and how we can afford children and living, but it just seems that when we need something, it comes to us. Sometimes, it's small things, like hubby needing a bag of grass seed and me finding it at a garage sale for $1 and other times it's an actual financial gift. We always have what we need when we need it, so I don't worry and just keep my eyes and heart open.
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Old 10-23-2008, 12:17 AM
 
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I think you just have to pray about it and follow the Lord's leading.
I am 44 (will be 45 next month) and my dh is 52 and my oldest dd is 15 and our other two children are 9 and 6. After I had my 3rd child we chose to have my dh have a vas. I had gestational diabetes with my 2nd and 3rd pregnancies and the 3rd one was much worse than the 2nd. After making our decision, we told my ob/gyn and his wife (who is a friend and his office manager and was present for my first and 2nd births, but the 3rd one was so fast she did not make it in time), she told me she was glad that we did that because in her opinion, it would be bad for me to be pregnant again due to all of the health issues I had.
I still went through some sadness about not having any more children and I miss being a mommy of babies, but I know that time is over for me and I am going on with the beautiful, wonderful children that I have.
Really, no one can make the decision for you, you just have to pray and follow the Lord's leading.
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Old 10-23-2008, 12:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm enjoying reading all the additional responses, and I'm feeling more and okay about just leaving it up to the Lord.

christianmomof3, -- the husband of one of my good friends did the same thing after their third baby, my friend had initially wanted more kids, but her husband said he just wasn't willing to deal with it again, she always got very sick and stayed that way all through pregnancy. And they're very happy -- she's only one year older than me and has 2 in college and 1 in highschool.

HennyPenny, how exciting to have God impress the same thing on your dh's heart, without you even bringing it up!

Susan -- married unschoolin' WAHMomma to two lovely girls (born 2000 and 2005).
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Old 10-23-2008, 12:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We always have what we need when we need it, so I don't worry and just keep my eyes and heart open.
This is so beautiful I just had to separate it out and repeat it down here!

Susan -- married unschoolin' WAHMomma to two lovely girls (born 2000 and 2005).
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Old 01-04-2009, 12:31 AM
 
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My view of fertility and God is simple. We are to have faith in Him for all things, and fertility is one of them.

Follow this thought with the fact that the Bible is full of verses and times where it is shown that God loves children, God views children as a blessing, people pray FOR children, the more children you had the more "blessed" you were percieved, the infertile were considered "broken", and so on.

I can easily make a case for being open with your fertility (ie quiverfull) with the Bible, yet, there is no place in the Bible that can make a case FOR birth control or limiting children. It is just not there, and in two instances that I can think of it lead to punishment by death. Leads me to believe that BC and limiting children are not what God intended. Not to mention it is just no natural.

Any misspellings or grammatical errors in the above statement are intentional;
they are placed there for the amusement of those who like to point them out.
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Old 01-04-2009, 06:08 AM
 
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This is an interesting question for me. I was brought up vaguely 'quiverfull', although we didn't use that term--Mum had had a tubal ligation and then reversal after baby #4, and ended up with six kids in all (followed by a miscarriage). I heard all the anti-birth control arguments and agreed with them, albeit not very critically.

Then I got married and the issue of birth control suddenly became a lot more personal. My daughter's nine months old now and I'm struggling with the issue, partly because I really don't want to be pregnant again just yet. I had a difficult time emotionally with the pregnancy, a traumatic birth, and some other mental issues I don't really want to go into here; but anyway, the thought of another pregnancy terrifies me. And obviously, I don't think one should make theological decisions based on fear or what one would prefer to be God's truth; but on the other hand, you shouldn't make them based on the unconsidered tenets of one's bringing-up either.

So I've looked at the issue long and hard, and my conclusion is that while the Bible definitely considers children a blessing (along with, you know, trials and hardships ), there is no definitive statement that spacing them is sinful. And when I really looked at some of the anti-BC arguments (Onan, for instance), I couldn't really say that the conclusions followed logically from the texts. Which is not to say that BC isn't a sin for some; if you're doing something for the wrong reasons and against your conscience or your understanding of the word of God, it is a sin. And I certainly admire quiverfull folks. But I'm more inclined to view it as a matter of individual conscience these days.

That said, I am opposed to HBC for pro-life reasons (and other, general, 'you're doing WHAT to your body?' reasons). And I'm anti- a lot of other forms of BC because they just suck. I like what a PP said about God giving us obvious fertility signs--I've just been reading Taking Charge of Your Fertility, and I can't believe I grew up and even had a baby without knowing that stuff! It's fascinating.

So, one of my New Year's goals this year is to prepare myself, physically and emotionally and spiritually, for TTC at the end of the year. I really want DD to have a sibling who's close in age, and while the thought of being pregnant again pretty much sends me into a cold sweat right now, I'm hoping to get myself into a healthier mentality by the end of the year. It's a struggle though. I'm just beginning to feel like me again, and reconciling my long-held dreams of having a large family with the reality of actually having to have them is a lot harder than I thought!

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Old 01-04-2009, 07:37 AM
 
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Saliva should NOT be used as a lubricant during sex (on him or her) if you are ttc because it actually acts as a spermicide due to the digestive enzymes present in saliva.
Oh my word, I know this is OT, but for sharing this. I had not known, and suspect it may have been affecting our ttc efforts (and may explain why sometimes I seem super fertile and other times it takes a year to conceive)

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The Christian POV is that even if your child is born abnormal, or with health problems, or into your poverty, or at a difficult time, or other such obstacles, it is also a blessing in that you are sanctified by your hardships.
In other words, if God sends you the child, He will also provide a way to make things work. We were broke beyond broke when DS2 was born...DH took a second job (on top of full-time teaching) just so we could eat. Then he lost his original job and we thought we were toast...until he ended up getting a new job that was better than the original had been. Sure, we had to move, but the whole thing has been an enormous blessing. I am glad that part of our lives is over, and hope we never have to do it again...but God does provide.
I basically feel that I will remain open to children so long as God sees fit to send them to me. I know many stories of 'caboose' children who have been enormous blessings to their families. My own youngest brother was definitely not 'planned', and is 5 years behind the prior child. Mom was in her early 40s and had a very difficult pregnancy. Years earlier she'd had a dream where she saw all her children, so she felt sure of how many there were (8), and this one was additional...so she worried about miscarrying or him having serious health problems or all kinds of things. But nope, he's fine. And at the time he came there were several family members who were sortof pulling away or having problems, and he sortof brought them back together.
Mom says that she thinks that she *was* done having kids, but that for whatever reason someone else decided to stop having kids and he was left out, so she got to have him instead--like a bonus because God knew she would take him.
I guess what I'm getting at is that, so long as you are willing to have another baby, then it's not worth fretting over. Economic issues may arise, so cross that bridge when you come to it. Health issues may come up--deal with them if they do. But stressing over hypotheticals will just detract from the beauty and happiness of your life now.

~Jenni, rural frugal Alaskan, eternally married to Dragon
loving my wild things DS Wolf (12), 3 angels, DS Bear (6) & DS Eagle (3)
 

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Old 01-04-2009, 05:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Smokering, about the spacing-thing, sometimes I wonder if there are differences in our modern way of life that make breastfeeding less effective as a child-spacer for many women. I wonder about this because I've heard that among the African !Kung, kids are pretty uniformly spaced around 4 years apart.

And the !Kung don't have any taboos prohibiting intercourse while breastfeeding, which means the frequency of nursing itself inhibits fertility for quite a long time. In contrast, fertility varies among western women who do childled breastfeeding.

Some, like me, experience a huge gap between kids. Other mothers who follow the same practices of nursing on-cue, co-sleeping, and babywearing, get their fertility back almost immediately after giving birth.

Yet, in my case, my huge gap certainly isn't due to my eating more like the !Kung. I'm obese, I eat meat and dairy -- and, no, we can't really afford to do organic, so we're getting all those hormones and everything. And I'm sure many of the MDC mamas whose fertility returns early, are vegan, or even if not vegan, probably are a lot crunchier than I am.

So, I'm not sure why there's so much variation here. But whatever the cause, maybe this wasn't an issue back in Bible times -- meaning, maybe the diet or whatever created a similar situation to what's experienced by the !Kung.

It certainly does seem strange when a mother conceives while her infant is still totally dependent on her milk for survival, it doesn't seem natural -- and yet, it happens quite often. So I don't know, maybe our current unnatural way of life has created a situation wherein some of us can conceive "too soon."

And, as I've said, my own huge gap in kids certainly isn't due to me having a superior diet or lifestyle or anything. In my case, it's probably the fact that I didn't marry 'til I was 35, and am obese, so maybe when I was younger and thinner I was more fertile, too, but just wasn't having sex so I never knew.

My point being, maybe there are factors in-play in our current times, that make it necessary/feasible for some mothers to put a little effort into spacing their kids. Also, you mention all you're learning about your signals that you're surprised you never knew -- I kind of wonder if ancient women grew up more in-tune with their fertility, and if this knowledge is one of many wisdoms that got lost along the way.

Susan -- married unschoolin' WAHMomma to two lovely girls (born 2000 and 2005).
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Old 01-04-2009, 07:12 PM
 
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I wouldn't be surprised if our hormone-saturated world made us hyper-fertile! And I think menopause has gotten later and menstruation earlier (and life longer as a whole) of recent centuries too, no? Of course, if you really believe birth control is wrong this is just an observation, not an argument (just as noting that aggressive tendencies have ncreased due to diet in the last hundred years does not excuse Christians from being angry).

I would tend to expect that if the Fall hadn't occurred, women would have been a lot more in tune with their bodies. It's an interesting thought, actually. Maybe women's cycles would have been more regular--there certainly would have been less stress to throw them off! TCOYF does mention some isolated tribe which uses cervical fluid to determine fertility, so it's certainly possible that this used to be common knowledge. Of course, now I know about it it seems oh, so obvious!

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Old 01-04-2009, 10:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well, and then there's the question of whether paying attention to our fertility-signals, and using the information to make conception more or less likely, constitutes birth-control. I suppose with a literal interpretation of the word, birth control means any attempt on our part to control the spacing of our children (whether we're trying to to have more children closer together, or fewer children further apart).

And yet, the Catholic Church promotes Natural Family Planning, and doesn't see it as contraception (against the beginning), because you're not having sex and doing something to prevent conception, you're simply abstaining from sex during the times you believe you're fertile.

So, is NFP birth control but not contraception? Or do the words "birth-control" and "contraception" mean one and the same thing?

Susan -- married unschoolin' WAHMomma to two lovely girls (born 2000 and 2005).
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Old 01-04-2009, 10:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Of course, when I was observing my signs in my desire to conceive my second child, it never worked for me. I didn't get pregnant (expect for one miscarriage) until I stopped trying.

And breastfeeding obviously works quite well as a "child-spacer" in my case ...

So it's all rather a moot point for me, now that I no longer feel a need to make sure we don't have a baby "too" late-in-life.

Susan -- married unschoolin' WAHMomma to two lovely girls (born 2000 and 2005).
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Old 01-04-2009, 10:28 PM
 
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The thing is that even if you are choosing to abstain during what you think is your fertile time the Catholic Church teaches that one still should be open to life. That is the foundational difference. I do hear what you are saying regarding timing sex. It does seem to me to be completely against out bodies nature to abstain when we are fertile, as least mine . Our hormones make sex so desireable at that time for a reason.
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Old 01-04-2009, 10:42 PM
 
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I was raised Christian, and I do believe in the bible, but I just can't get down with being quiverful *for me*. I don't think taking control of my fertility is sinful. My main job is to take care of my children that I already have, and is it wise to create a child that I do not feel I could physically or emotionally give everything he/she deserves? I view children as a blessing, but I do not take that to next level, that every fertile woman HAS to have a large family. Nor do I believe women struggling with their fertility have to just accept that fate. God gave us the ability to create tools and use our resources, so as long as we use them responsibly (and of course that is subjective), I do not think there is a problem.

What about that lady that drowned her kids in the lake? She started showing signs of not handling it well long before that day.

I respect anyone's decision to be quiverful, but it is not for me. There are a lot of things about the bible that I do not think I will fully understand until I die. Are we supposed to live by the ways of the old testament? Are we supposed to take the bible literally?
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Old 01-06-2009, 12:40 AM
 
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Originally Posted by mammal_mama View Post
and doesn't see it as contraception (against the beginning), because you're not having sex and doing something to prevent conception, you're simply abstaining from sex during the times you believe you're fertile.

So, is NFP birth control but not contraception? Or do the words "birth-control" and "contraception" mean one and the same thing?
It's my understanding, though, that they didn't use to. It's more of a modern thing (last 50-100 years) or so.

Happily married to my dh, mama to ds1 (01/2005), ds2 (07/2007)  and dd (07/2009).
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