Moms who claim their kids will only eat chicken nuggets etc... - Page 4 - Mothering Forums

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Old 03-21-2009, 04:28 PM
 
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LOL I just keep picturing the commercial for Hidden Valley ranch dressing where all the kids are running around eating vegetables like they're junk food.
My picky eater will eat a lot more vegetables when I make the Hidden Valley Ranch dressing from the packet. But it's MSG, and I can't find any natural dressings that she likes, so I just keep giving her raw cauliflower--the one vegetable she says she likes it--and telling her just to learn to eat it without the dressing, it's not as tasty, but it's for health. I guess that's not a good idea, but she's almost 10 and getting obsessed with her weight, and I've told her that I eat things because I think they are healthy, not because I really like them that much, which might be part of the problem right there, I guess. She usually will take a bite or two of it, but on Friday her lunch came back with the cauliflower and clementine uneaten. She ate the sandwich (with a nitrate cured pepperoni) and the yogurt--Trader Joe's brand, not "natural" but no artificial colors or HFCS.

I was just not enough of a hard ass in keeping her from foods so she wouldn't get to experience them. Honestly, that was my plan, but when she was young I let her self select and try some not so great foods. She didn't seem to like them, so I thought we were good. But she comes across foods at various parties or schools or friends houses, stuff I don't buy or have bought once or twice, like Doritos. And, yes, she has asked very specifically that she be allowed that specific food, and asked if she could use birthday money, or if she is allowed to have a treat that I would go to the store and buy her that thing. Since those foods aren't totally out of the question, in my mind, I figure she can have them once in awhile and it not be a problem. So clearly I've opened the door, but I figure she's going to have to figure this out for herself one day.

I used to have talks with her about the health consequences, and my kids will ask me if a food is healthy, and I tell them what is good and not so good about any particular food. For awhile when I tried the health argument, my daughter would argue right back. There she was at 5 saying, "I don't CARE about diabetes, that is what YOU care about."

I have known children who were very anxious about what they could eat, and would bring a food up to their mother and ask about it. In one case I had brought some honey wheat pretzels to the park, and the little girl wanted some, so asked me to show the package to her mother. The mother read the label said in a nice tone of voice that since they had sugar in them (in the form of honey), she couldn't have them. The kids were always on the look out for hidden sugar, and when we went to birthday party, the mother brought her own "cake" for them. The thing is, she was always so calm, and they just went right along with it, even if they didn't like it, and it was clear they weren't too happy about, but they complied. If my kids don't like what I'm saying, they will argue with me, and my daughter will ask very pointed questions, and I answer them honestly and then more arguments ensue. I remember driving down the road one day when she realized her seatbelt wasn't buckled in her booster seat. So I pulled over to buckle her and I heard this little voice ask, "Why am I not dead, since my seatbelt wasn't buckled?" And I laughed when I realized I had so impressed upon her the importance of being in the seatbelt that she thought it meant certain death. That's kind of the way these kids were with sugar, and it works for awhile, but eventually they make their own observations, draw their own conclusions, and become jaded about what their parents say if they feel their parents are just sounding an alarm.
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Old 03-21-2009, 04:43 PM
 
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I have 2 kids with autism and sensory issues. My oldest also has to deal with multiple allergies. At a very young age he could only eat a few foods because of them. He's outgrown many of his allergies but his sensory issues are **** there. We are fortunate that many of the things he does eat are healthy. At one point he was down to about 6 foods that he would eat. my youngest is at about 10 foods right now. Many of them are healthy-ish but he won't eat fruits or vegetables due to sensory stuff.

My oldest goes through phases of only eating one main food for a few weeks until he moves on to another. He will starve himself if acceptable food is not available. Seriously, i've tried and given in after he didn't eat for way too long. At 6 he barely hit 40lbs.

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Old 03-21-2009, 05:00 PM
 
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In addition to kids who are just conservative by nature or have sensory/feeding issues, I do think there is a developmental phase that kids go through where parents have a chance to encourage healthy attitudes toward eating choices.

DD ate enthusiastically from the first time she had solid food -- at 5.5 months old when, much to my chagrin and the destruction of my carefully-laid first-time-parent plans -- she took matters into her own hands and faceplanted in my bowl of Spanish rice at lunch. At a year, she would outeat four other agemates combined! Whatever they had, she would eat and keep going. And she was smaller than all of them! By three, we were old hands at dealing with comments about how wide a range of food she would eat. Sushi was a huge favorite, as was pizza. She liked all the veggies, all the fruits, stinky cheese, briny olives, seafood, nuts.... You name it, she'd try it, and chances are she'd like it.

Then she turned 4. All of a sudden she is the pickiest eater. Something she liked yesterday she won't like today. There's no predicting it. She's picks at her food and eats less than a bird. And she is ADAMANT about her food choices. I believe (hope, pray) this is a phase and that her previous three years of eating preferences is really her base "food personality."

This is where I suspect parents have a real choice. If I restrict her diet now to only what she says she is willing to eat and fully cater to the phase, I have a feeling I could end up with a nuggets-only girl. Habits can be very strong and self-reinforcing. I don't want her to starve. And I don't want to get involved in a power struggle over food. What I really want is for her to get through this phase and get back to her usual enthusiasm. I really, really want her younger brother to stop mimicking her, because right now, left to his own devices, he's got a pretty wide range of food preferences.

I'll let you know if this works, because she's our oldest and we're really feeling our way here, but this is what we're doing. She is welcome to her feelings about what we're serving, but we need her to be polite about it. I don't want to hear, "Yuck! I don't like this!" Saying "No thank you, I'm not in the mood for mushrooms right now" is fine. However, I get one meal a day where nothing negative is said. She doesn't have to eat it, but I really think her brother needs a break from the constant negativity toward food. We always serve meals with more than one component and we'd really like her to eat at least one thing, her choice, and we involve her in the meal prep and food choices when we can so there will be something she's in the mood for. At breakfast and lunch, if she changes her mind at the last minute and decides not to eat what she helped choose, it comes back at the next meal. At dinner, she has the option of making herself a multigrain peanut butter sandwich. And while she's in her picky phase, her access to nutritionally empty snacks and sugary treats is severely limited. If she's not going to eat much, that's her choice, but what she does eat needs to be healthful, and that's our choice.
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Old 03-21-2009, 05:00 PM
 
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I'm a very big believer that kids will eat what's offered. For the chicken nugget pizza folks, how did your LO get introduced to pizza and nuggets? If it's not an option, they won't eat it. Unless they are driving themselves to the store to buy foood, how else would they develop a taste for such foods?
The mom who started this thread said that they have the occasional chicken nugget, but they are not a dinner time staple. So I figured the discussion was not specifically limited to people who never allow their children to be exposed to other foods at friend's homes, school, restaurants, parties, other relatives homes, etc.
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Old 03-21-2009, 05:03 PM
 
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Oh, I meant to add in one of my other posts, that there is also the super taster thing. My husband is most likely a super taster. I am not. Even if I hate a food, I can usually revisit it and eat it. I can eat it even if I don't like it very much. My husband can't even stand to be in the same room with a food he despises.
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Old 03-21-2009, 05:49 PM
 
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This is where I suspect parents have a real choice. If I restrict her diet now to only what she says she is willing to eat and fully cater to the phase, I have a feeling I could end up with a nuggets-only girl. Habits can be very strong and self-reinforcing. I don't want her to starve. And I don't want to get involved in a power struggle over food. What I really want is for her to get through this phase and get back to her usual enthusiasm. I really, really want her younger brother to stop mimicking her, because right now, left to his own devices, he's got a pretty wide range of food preferences.

I'll let you know if this works, because she's our oldest and we're really feeling our way here, but this is what we're doing. She is welcome to her feelings about what we're serving, but we need her to be polite about it. I don't want to hear, "Yuck! I don't like this!" Saying "No thank you, I'm not in the mood for mushrooms right now" is fine. However, I get one meal a day where nothing negative is said. She doesn't have to eat it, but I really think her brother needs a break from the constant negativity toward food. We always serve meals with more than one component and we'd really like her to eat at least one thing, her choice, and we involve her in the meal prep and food choices when we can so there will be something she's in the mood for. At breakfast and lunch, if she changes her mind at the last minute and decides not to eat what she helped choose, it comes back at the next meal. At dinner, she has the option of making herself a multigrain peanut butter sandwich. And while she's in her picky phase, her access to nutritionally empty snacks and sugary treats is severely limited. If she's not going to eat much, that's her choice, but what she does eat needs to be healthful, and that's our choice.
I'm not into controlling my kids this much. It'd just be a battle. We make good food choices for them as best we can, but the occasional cookies haven't entirely disappeared just because DS1 has been picky for the last 5 years. We're involved with the local foods movement, eat almost entirely organic, whole foods, and have never let up on variety, but still, I have no interest in dictating their food choices down to the letter. We sneak things in, give a multivitamin and worry about other, more pressing things.

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Old 03-22-2009, 01:44 AM
 
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My oldest was picky and now she's come around to at least tasting things she suspects are gross. She eats a wonderful variety of food thank goodness (green food even).
My littlest was once an adventurous eater. Now he eats a small rotation of things willingly (I say that because I sneak things into smoothies ). Everything else is "yucky". I am just happy he's still nursing and hope he will move through this phase quickly.

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Old 03-22-2009, 01:50 AM
 
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I'm not into controlling my kids this much. It'd just be a battle.

<snip>

We sneak things in, give a multivitamin and worry about other, more pressing things.
See, now maybe this makes me even weirder than I already seem on this thread, but I just don't feel good about the "sneaky chef" kind of thing. I'm not singling you out annakiss, because others have mentioned it and I know there are entire books about it as a topic. So I'm aparently in the minority about this. I just reeeeeeallly don't like sneakiness or hiding things, I guess including in food. It's the "I know you wouldn't eat this in its normal form, but you're going to anyway cause I hid it in there, joke's on you!" vibe I get from it. It feels like tricking the kids instead of being direct with them, and I'm apparently sensitive to that. Sneaking/hiding/tricking seems pretty controlling to me, IMO. Just in a more subtle, less up front way.

To each his/her own, though, clearly!

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Old 03-22-2009, 01:54 AM
 
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Oh, I meant to add in one of my other posts, that there is also the super taster thing. My husband is most likely a super taster. I am not. Even if I hate a food, I can usually revisit it and eat it. I can eat it even if I don't like it very much. My husband can't even stand to be in the same room with a food he despises.
I have no idea if I'm a super taster (I doub it), but I have real trouble with foods I don't like. DH can sit down at a meal that he doesn't like, and eat the whole thing, to be polite. I start feeling really gross if I have even a couple of mouthfuls of foods I don't like (the three biggies being most meat fat, chicken skin and mushrooms). It just makes me feel awful.

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Old 03-22-2009, 01:54 AM
 
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I think some kids are just picky. That said, though, they'll "pick" from what they are offered. My DD1 had a VERY limited diet up until only about a month ago. She's never really been offered junk food, but she did have a list of about four things she'd eat, and that was it. For her, it was peaches, yogurt, pasta, and peas, (and sometimes chicken, if it had no skin, no browned or blackened parts, and no sauce or seasoning at all), which isn't a bad spread, all things considered. But that was ALL she'd eat. If it wasn't offered, she'd wait. Patiently. She'd wait DAYS, and then when she finally had access to those foods, she'd eat as much as she could hold. We haven't given up, and lately she's branching out more, but I certainly deny that it's anything I did or left undone that made her so picky-- we eat a staggering variety of wonderfully nourishing foods in this house. Also, my other two aren't like that-- they eat tiny amounts, but they'll try anything.

Some kids are just conservative when it comes to food.
: That is my oldest. He will only eat certain bread, yogurt, cheese, etc. He will go without food if it isn't one of the 10 things he will eat. It isn't like a variety isn't on the table because his siblings will eat and try new foods.
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Old 03-22-2009, 02:09 AM
 
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See, now maybe this makes me even weirder than I already seem on this thread, but I just don't feel good about the "sneaky chef" kind of thing. I'm not singling you out annakiss, because others have mentioned it and I know there are entire books about it as a topic. So I'm aparently in the minority about this. I just reeeeeeallly don't like sneakiness or hiding things, I guess including in food. It's the "I know you wouldn't eat this in its normal form, but you're going to anyway cause I hid it in there, joke's on you!" vibe I get from it. It feels like tricking the kids instead of being direct with them, and I'm apparently sensitive to that. Sneaking/hiding/tricking seems pretty controlling to me, IMO. Just in a more subtle, less up front way.
Hmmm... I don't think of it that way at all. I look at it as fortifying whatever it is we're making. My kids don't know or ask all the ingredients of everything we make. Adding raw kale is just how I make smoothies. :

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Old 03-22-2009, 02:26 AM
 
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Hmmm... I don't think of it that way at all. I look at it as fortifying whatever it is we're making. My kids don't know or ask all the ingredients of everything we make. Adding raw kale is just how I make smoothies. :
Ah, see - I wouldn't be able to get away with that, they're almost always in the kitchen with me asking what I'm doing, what's that thing, what does that do, can I pour that in, can I measure that, can I taste that raw flour, can I bite that uncooked potato, can you eat baking powder, why can't I put my hand in the sugar conister, why are you putting eggs in that....

I wonder if they knew the added foods if they'd still want to have them though they taste the same as before?

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Old 03-22-2009, 02:34 AM
 
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I don't think that picky eaters are really made picky by what their parents serve, although they will become picky around what you normally serve. My DD will eat LOTS of things.

However, she will not eat anything with sauce. Fine with me, because I generally don't like sauces either. That whole "kids love things they can dip" concept? Not me as a child, and not DD either. She likes to dip french fries in ketchup. But she won't eat them that way! (I wouldn't eat them with ketchup until college, and I still don't like them that way. I'll just tolerate it if it's a group dish or if my cute kid has proudly dipped it "for you, Mama!") She hates anything with tomato. (So did I as a kid). Not that we do lots fries anyhow. Ranch dressing? NEVER!

I remember going to a salad bar at a restaurant and people were shocked that she wanted little mozarella cheese balls, broccoli, chickpeas, shredded carrots, etc. etc etc. She will NOT touch anything leafy though. She will not eat anything with salad dressing. She is just beginning to eat the skin on apples, etc. She would not eat any of those things in a chunky soup (any soup must be "carrot" soup, be pureed, and taste like carrot, whatever else may be in it; that whole "chicken noodle soup" thing that kids are supposed to like, or the alphabet soup, no, mine wants alphabet pasta, with olive oil, and then some veggies please, but they better not touch!) She did not like sandwiches of any kind (although she liked hummus, or peanut butter, on a spoon).

You could say that I didn't serve her tomato sauce enough, or ketchup, or salad dressing, or whatever. I think it's a matter of most kids going through a picky stage and what is familiar whether chicken nuggets or chickpeas becomes a staple. I think many kids go through a stage where they don't want things to touch or they don't want things mixed up together--sandwiches, soups, etc. You can cater to it all the time, or some of the time, or none of the time.

Tonight I made penne. DH had jarred vodka sauce, lots of it. I had jarred marinara sauce, just a bit (I usually have olive oil, fresh herbs, and parmesan; I eat tomato sauce maybe 1/month or less). DD had olive oil, pepper, and parmesan. It's not much harder to do the 3 toppings, so I do them. But I keep our meals as similar as possible while accomodating everyone's tastes. I wouldn't do a PBJ or mac n cheese or mock chicken nuggets while DH and I have something else.

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Old 03-22-2009, 02:50 AM
 
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Ah, see - I wouldn't be able to get away with that, they're almost always in the kitchen with me asking what I'm doing, what's that thing, what does that do, can I pour that in, can I measure that, can I taste that raw flour, can I bite that uncooked potato, can you eat baking powder, why can't I put my hand in the sugar conister, why are you putting eggs in that....

I wonder if they knew the added foods if they'd still want to have them though they taste the same as before?
No, they woudn't necessarily, and they've protested before, but I remind them that this is how they always drink it and make sure they still like it. I hate when smoothie gets wasted. My oldest now knows that that's how smoothies are made and is okay with it. We don't force him to eat kale in other things and while I do hate when smoothies get wasted, if they don't like it, they won't eat it and I understand that. Sometimes my calculations get a bit off!

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Old 03-22-2009, 12:07 PM
 
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I have to say that as a mom of a very picky eater, many of the post in this thread were hurtful.

My oldest son will be three in a few weeks. When he was a baby I made all of his baby food. He loved all the veggies. As a toddler he ate what I did, lots of ethnic food-- kimchi, Indian curries, Mole, Gallo Pinto. He loved anything with beans or spinach in it.

Somewhere around 2.5 he became very picky. We kept offering our normal, healthy diet and he kept refusing. Then he started losing weight. He won't eat any vegetables, unbreaded meat, rice, most pasta or anything with the slightest hint of spice in it.

So we resorted to "junk" food. Chicken nuggets, waffles, fish sticks, macaroni and cheese. He still eats some healthy food too, mainly fruit, cheese and yogurt and we still offer the foods he doesn't eat. I'm not really at a point where I can be picky about what he eats, I just want him to eat!

I guess what I'm trying to say is it is really easy to be smug about your "great parenting" when you have a good eater, but please don't judge those of us who would give our picky kid a chicken nugget rather than ignore their needs when they are crying that they are hungry at two in the morning because they refused all but a handful of the healthy foods that you offered them throughout the day.
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Old 03-22-2009, 01:47 PM
 
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Kate, over the years I've known plenty of kids who were comforted in childhood by certain 'plain' foods,  but who went on to being very interested in other foods. My oldest is 20, and some of his friends who were 'plain' foodies as tots, can now as young adults scraf down the nori rolls and Thai sutff with the best of them. It's not something I'd worry about. Exposure to food is just as important as eating it. You eat what you like and offer. The end.

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Old 03-22-2009, 02:19 PM
 
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So we resorted to "junk" food. Chicken nuggets, waffles, fish sticks, macaroni and cheese. He still eats some healthy food too, mainly fruit, cheese and yogurt and we still offer the foods he doesn't eat. I'm not really at a point where I can be picky about what he eats, I just want him to eat!
But what do you think picky kids 100 years ago ate instead of chicken nuggets? I'm sure there was something their parents disapproved of just as highly. Picky is normal, what picky means the child will/does eat is due to culture and parent willingness to provide it. It's a pretty normal stage many kids go through, and I don't think a little while of eating sub-optimal food of whatever type is going to have a lasting impact. I'm sure you're doing fine; you offer other choices, and he will go back to them someday.

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Old 03-22-2009, 03:43 PM
 
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But what do you think picky kids 100 years ago ate instead of chicken nuggets? I'm sure there was something their parents disapproved of just as highly. Picky is normal, what picky means the child will/does eat is due to culture and parent willingness to provide it. It's a pretty normal stage many kids go through, and I don't think a little while of eating sub-optimal food of whatever type is going to have a lasting impact. I'm sure you're doing fine; you offer other choices, and he will go back to them someday.
Yeah. Lots of older babes go through periods where they inhale foods like broc and kale and red bell peppers, and some of them do become older toddlers who look at the riot on their plate and go "Woah...not sure". A lot of toddlers go through periods where bland foods seem more comforting/soothing. The world is crazy-new unpredictable when you're newly discovering it. It might be the nervous system can only handle so much at a time.

A 2 or 4 or 6 yr old or 15 yr old who is a bit picky about simplicity on the plate doesn't 100% become the same sort of eater later. I've seem so many variations on the toddler food theme, and I believe that food arguments/food guilt etc does more harm than calmly letting a food phase pass without much fanfare would. An emotional negative association with food is hard to overcome.
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Old 03-22-2009, 03:48 PM
 
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Fo reals, y'all. ^^^

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Old 03-22-2009, 04:32 PM
 
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This thread is quite an interesting one.

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I think that people who don't believe that kids can be picky all on their own, despite their parents doing everything right, are very lucky. They've never had a picky kid. So they can go ahead and make generalizations about WHY kids are picky. Until it happens to them.

I do agree, though, that even a picky child will pick from what's offered. So the one sure solution to a child who won't eat anything but XYZ is to stop buying XYZ. But then they fixate on some other food.

It really does happen, and it irritates me when people seem to imply it's always the parents' fault.
I agree. I know I am *very* lucky that DD is not picky. My BIL is *still* very picky, at 25 years old. He does not like to eat chicken that is still on the bone, does not like stews or soups, does not like vegetables except for green beans, etc. He stayed with us for awhile, when it was just DH and I, and eventually I stopped even trying to cook for him. My sister is the same way, very picky. I agree, the people whose kids are *not* picky, for whatever reason (sensory issues, texture issues, what have you) are lucky. I will not judge a person who has a picky eater, but I believe you should continue to offer them stuff that is not currently on their "will eat" list, so as not encourage them to only eat the things they are willing to eat. (I hope that came out right.... )

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Originally Posted by claddaghmom View Post
Well I'll vote for nature on this one. Ten of my mom's eleven kids will eat what is put in front of them. Barring a few small episodes during the toddler years of learning to eat veggies or the rare incident of having to eat Aunt Maple's burned turkey at a family reunion....we eat everything in sight without complaint.

Escargot? Sure. Sushi? There won't be any left! You serve it, we eat it lol.

But then along came my youngest sister, who is now 4 years old. If you didn't literally sit there and spoon feed her as she's whining and crying, she would never eat more than french fries, nuggets, cheese and bread. Literally.

And this seemed to be an inclination from a young age onwards. I remember one time my mom served multi-colored whole wheat pasta when she was about 1.5. She took all the green pasta and put it to the side! Refused to eat it!

You can't blame the introduction of junk food either. Even if a meal is completely TF, she will refuse to eat certain foods, or even refuse to eat at all.

Unsurprisingly, my mom has done CLW with her.
Honestly, I'm not a big fan of the multi-colored pasta, but for some reason, the green pasta especially is unappetizing to me.

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Oh, I meant to add in one of my other posts, that there is also the super taster thing. My husband is most likely a super taster. I am not. Even if I hate a food, I can usually revisit it and eat it. I can eat it even if I don't like it very much. My husband can't even stand to be in the same room with a food he despises.
My husband is the same way.

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Originally Posted by Katzchen View Post
I have to say that as a mom of a very picky eater, many of the post in this thread were hurtful.

I guess what I'm trying to say is it is really easy to be smug about your "great parenting" when you have a good eater, but please don't judge those of us who would give our picky kid a chicken nugget rather than ignore their needs when they are crying that they are hungry at two in the morning because they refused all but a handful of the healthy foods that you offered them throughout the day.
I agree.

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Old 03-22-2009, 05:01 PM
 
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I'm wondering if 100 years ago most food was kind of bland anyway so it was already so it was more appealing to toddlers? I also wonder how much of a variety was given to children compared to today. I suppose the answer varies depending on the country/culture but it would interesting to know. I know my parents were not introducing Thai food to me as a baby.

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Old 03-22-2009, 05:36 PM
 
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I'm wondering if 100 years ago most food was kind of bland anyway so it was already so it was more appealing to toddlers? I also wonder how much of a variety was given to children compared to today. I suppose the answer varies depending on the country/culture but it would interesting to know. I know my parents were not introducing Thai food to me as a baby.
I do think parents today have much greater expectations in that way than folks in the past have had. Since we have so much variety, and weather doesn't often factor into our food availability, we aren't thinking in terms of seasonal foods/needs etc. Fresh fruits & veggies weren't available yr round to those of us who lived in non -temperate climates, and most people ate the food of their small communities, where variety would be dependant upon your seasons and access to trade routes. (I am not sure how far back in human chsitory we're going).

If it couldn't be stored, you couldn't eat it. So you might have a winter diet of squashes, acorns, apples for a time, and then pretty much what you could hunt, with hopes the animal itself had some meat on it's bones. (Thinking of where i live). Or maybe your people smoked or salted summer meat for winter storage. (I don't hear too many health raves at MDC for salted or smoked meats lol) IBasiically, f you didn't live in Thailand, you weren't consuming Thai foods, and so had no expectation for your toddler to eat them.

I can't stand chicken on a bone, myself, like chicken caccatoire makes me gag inside. I liek all the flavors of it...but the bones are not something I enjoy fooling around with.
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Old 03-22-2009, 08:34 PM
 
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I haven't read this whole thread, because I have a feeling I would get very irritated.

My almost 4 year old is beyond picky, starting from when he was about a year old. He would eat nothing. I tried everything to get him to eat, and to this day he has a VERY limited menu. Simple, bland foods are all he likes: bananas, breads, raisins, plain cheeses, oatmeal, etc. I've recently gotten him to eat smoothies, and it's the only way I can get him to eat fruit. He freaks out at a blueberry, but toss it in the blender and it's suddenly awesome.

I completely blamed myself for all his food issues. I thought I had done something, hadn't exposed him to enough foods waaaaay back when he was first eating, etc. But then my daughter came along and she loves everything. Her favorite is noodles of any kind, but she also likes meat, vegetables, and fruit.

Even if she doesn't love something, she'll at least put it in her mouth and try it, and if there isn't anything else and she's hungry, she'll choke it down. But my son won't. He won't even attempt to taste something, and no amount of pleading, coercing, or yelling will get him to try it.
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Old 03-22-2009, 08:44 PM
 
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I haven't read this whole thread, because I have a feeling I would get very irritated.
Me too. I have done ALL the right things - whole foods, offering many times, getting him to help in the garden and in the kitchen blahdeblahblahblah. It really, REALLY annoys me when people say "oh, my child eats great because I did all these things". Yeah, I did too. And no, he does not eat chicken nuggets and greasy pizza - but he eats a very very limited diet out of what is available in our home.

DS 12/22/05 and DD 5/24/09
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Old 03-22-2009, 08:48 PM
 
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I"d like to introduce you to my DD1, then. She has never eaten veggies. Even as a baby, when she was first allowed to play around with food and try it, she staunchly rejected most foods. She ate peas, carrots, and tomatoes (which aren't even really veggies) and that's it, and even those she'd USUALLY reject. Just every once in a while she'd try one. And as a toddler, she ate tomatoes, sometimes, and peas occasionally, and that's it. Peaches, yogurt, pasta, sometimes tomatoes or peas, occasionally plain chicken, and for a brief time in late infancy she liked oatmeal.

I never gave her junk to get her to eat. I never bribed or begged her to eat. I never made alternate meals, so that she'd eat. And it's not just for me. She won't eat at school, or at my mother's house, or at my brother's house, or anywhere else for that matter. She has always been offered tasty, nutritious, in-season, local food, all homemade and appetizing. She won't eat any of it. She just waits until the meal includes what she likes, and then eats.

I think that people who don't believe that kids can be picky all on their own, despite their parents doing everything right, are very lucky. They've never had a picky kid. So they can go ahead and make generalizations about WHY kids are picky. Until it happens to them.

I do agree, though, that even a picky child will pick from what's offered. So the one sure solution to a child who won't eat anything but XYZ is to stop buying XYZ. But then they fixate on some other food.

It really does happen, and it irritates me when people seem to imply it's always the parents' fault.
: I made my sons baby food and it included a lot of veggies. He had acid reflux as a baby and a really bad gag reflex. He would actually vomit every time we tryed veggies or anything he didn't like. We still tryed, but now at almost five he won't eat them. With the exception being carrots and cucumbers. If we go out to eat he gets to choose to a point what he eats, but at home I don't make special meals just for him. Every night he has to try the meal and if he doesn't like it he doesn't have to eat. In general he likes breakfast and he eats some sort of peanut butter sandwich everyday, but almost never eats dinner. I just figure at some point he will start eating what I make. I'm not going to give in, but it's also not my fault he doesn't eat those things. He just doesn't like them.
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Old 03-22-2009, 10:44 PM
 
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I haven't read this whole thread, because I have a feeling I would get very irritated.

My almost 4 year old is beyond picky, starting from when he was about a year old. He would eat nothing. I tried everything to get him to eat, and to this day he has a VERY limited menu. Simple, bland foods are all he likes: bananas, breads, raisins, plain cheeses, oatmeal, etc. I've recently gotten him to eat smoothies, and it's the only way I can get him to eat fruit. He freaks out at a blueberry, but toss it in the blender and it's suddenly awesome.

I completely blamed myself for all his food issues. I thought I had done something, hadn't exposed him to enough foods waaaaay back when he was first eating, etc. But then my daughter came along and she loves everything. Her favorite is noodles of any kind, but she also likes meat, vegetables, and fruit.

Even if she doesn't love something, she'll at least put it in her mouth and try it, and if there isn't anything else and she's hungry, she'll choke it down. But my son won't. He won't even attempt to taste something, and no amount of pleading, coercing, or yelling will get him to try it.
Hugs mama. Somewhere back in this thread I talked about how my twins were opposites in the eating department so I knew from the start it wasn't something I did or didn't do. You can't *make* kids eat, sleep, or use the potty, if they don't want to/aren't ready. Not your fault at all. Yes we control what we serve but when you get desperate, you do what you have to do.

Let them sleep in the middle, Let them be little
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