So, this is my stepdaughter's typical weekday diet (long): - Page 2 - Mothering Forums
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#31 of 43 Old 05-03-2010, 12:32 AM
 
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What about Annie's fruity bunnies cereal? Or Amy's frozen kid meals? They are organic and made with quality ingredients. And they are tasty! Also Nature's Path organic toaster pastries are a hit with kids. I don't buy them because they are way too sugary for me to feed to my kids, but at least healthier than Poptarts. Earth's best makes Organic Elmo pasta that's a good alternative to something like spaghetti Os. I don't usually give those to my kids, either, but better than Chef Boyardee, right?
Does she like to cook at all? My 7 yr old daughter can scramble eggs and make quesadillas in the microwave. She also loves to make herself cheese sandwiches with lettuce and avocado but that might be too "healthy" for your dsd.
Do you think she might like Yve's vegan deli "meats"? They won't have any of those chemicals and dyes and things and they have protein. My kids love them.
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#32 of 43 Old 05-03-2010, 11:40 AM
 
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Originally Posted by kavamamakava View Post
What about Annie's fruity bunnies cereal? Or Amy's frozen kid meals? They are organic and made with quality ingredients. And they are tasty! Also Nature's Path organic toaster pastries are a hit with kids. I don't buy them because they are way too sugary for me to feed to my kids, but at least healthier than Poptarts. Earth's best makes Organic Elmo pasta that's a good alternative to something like spaghetti Os. I don't usually give those to my kids, either, but better than Chef Boyardee, right?
Does she like to cook at all? My 7 yr old daughter can scramble eggs and make quesadillas in the microwave. She also loves to make herself cheese sandwiches with lettuce and avocado but that might be too "healthy" for your dsd.
Do you think she might like Yve's vegan deli "meats"? They won't have any of those chemicals and dyes and things and they have protein. My kids love them.
all the processed foods you suggest have the same amounts of added sugars as regular cereal and pop tarts. organic sugar is still sugar.
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#33 of 43 Old 05-03-2010, 01:39 PM
 
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Honestly? If it were me? I'd stop trying. Completely. I'd even tell the child that I was going to stop trying. I'd explain that I have tried to buy/prepare the foods she says she likes (canned baked beans, in brand her mom buys, pbj, pizza etc) and she still doesn't like it, so I'm going to go ahead and cook the foods that her dad and I like, and she can choose to eat or not eat. PBJ as an option is fine, but if that becomes an area for drama, I'd eliminate the option. She can be at the table, if she is polite and pleasant, or she can play in her room during meals.

You can decide what to do about snacks between meals -- when my ffs was like this, the rule was no snacks unless you ate at the previous meal (seems mean, I know, but his thing was "white food" only, so he'd load up on crackers and cheese as a snack so as to not ever need to eat/try new things at meals).

Hopefully your husband can get her mom on board with this, so it isn't a big sympathy play at mom's, but even if it is? The drama at your house has to stop, and you are thinking now about groundwork that you want to establish long before your ds is eating.

I have 4 kids, some pickier than others. I cook one meal. I don't offer options. I certainly cook mostly kid-friendly stuff, but there are 5 of us eating -- it is rarely going to be all things that are everyone's favorite. They have all adjusted and know what the deal is.

And I agree with everyone who said maybe now would be a good time to get some therapy going -- I know you and your husband have been living together and you have been active as your dsd's step-mom for a long time, but the marriage and impending baby (as well as her developmental age, and change in thinking) may be triggering her in some ways -- who knows, she may have been holding onto some underlying fantasy of her mom and dad getting back together, which is now being really squashed. Or maybe it is the fear of being replaced by the new baby?

I'd just do whatever you can to take food off the table as an area for drama/power struggles. The food in your house is what it is. She can eat or not. End of story.

And then think about OTHER things that can be fun/treaty (activities, trips, museum memberships) at your house, that she doesn't have with mom.

I think it is all about the relationship, and not really about food at all.

((((hugs))))) It sure isn't easy!
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#34 of 43 Old 05-03-2010, 02:32 PM
 
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all the processed foods you suggest have the same amounts of added sugars as regular cereal and pop tarts. organic sugar is still sugar.
Yeah, but they are searching for a common ground...so this is better than nothing. Yes, they may contain equal amounts of sugar, but by choosing kavamamakava's suggestions at least the little girl won't be eating GMO's, HFCS, TransFat and artificial dyes at the same time.

Meghan : Kayla~ 10/19/04 Jack~ 5/27/07
Evelyn~ 10/9/10

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#35 of 43 Old 05-03-2010, 02:35 PM
 
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Originally Posted by sugarmoon View Post
Honestly? If it were me? I'd stop trying. Completely. I'd even tell the child that I was going to stop trying. I'd explain that I have tried to buy/prepare the foods she says she likes (canned baked beans, in brand her mom buys, pbj, pizza etc) and she still doesn't like it, so I'm going to go ahead and cook the foods that her dad and I like, and she can choose to eat or not eat. PBJ as an option is fine, but if that becomes an area for drama, I'd eliminate the option. She can be at the table, if she is polite and pleasant, or she can play in her room during meals.

You can decide what to do about snacks between meals -- when my ffs was like this, the rule was no snacks unless you ate at the previous meal (seems mean, I know, but his thing was "white food" only, so he'd load up on crackers and cheese as a snack so as to not ever need to eat/try new things at meals).

Hopefully your husband can get her mom on board with this, so it isn't a big sympathy play at mom's, but even if it is? The drama at your house has to stop, and you are thinking now about groundwork that you want to establish long before your ds is eating.

I have 4 kids, some pickier than others. I cook one meal. I don't offer options. I certainly cook mostly kid-friendly stuff, but there are 5 of us eating -- it is rarely going to be all things that are everyone's favorite. They have all adjusted and know what the deal is.

And I agree with everyone who said maybe now would be a good time to get some therapy going -- I know you and your husband have been living together and you have been active as your dsd's step-mom for a long time, but the marriage and impending baby (as well as her developmental age, and change in thinking) may be triggering her in some ways -- who knows, she may have been holding onto some underlying fantasy of her mom and dad getting back together, which is now being really squashed. Or maybe it is the fear of being replaced by the new baby?

I'd just do whatever you can to take food off the table as an area for drama/power struggles. The food in your house is what it is. She can eat or not. End of story.

And then think about OTHER things that can be fun/treaty (activities, trips, museum memberships) at your house, that she doesn't have with mom.

I think it is all about the relationship, and not really about food at all.

((((hugs))))) It sure isn't easy!
I agree...OP this just might not be your battle to fight right now.

Meghan : Kayla~ 10/19/04 Jack~ 5/27/07
Evelyn~ 10/9/10

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#36 of 43 Old 05-03-2010, 02:46 PM
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We get gagging noises when we try to make homemade mac and cheese (nothing weird, either--elbows and cheddar)
Not to hijack the thread, but I work at the Cheesecake Factory....if you've ever been there you'll know how enormous the menu is. There are literally a couple of hundred menu items.

Our kid's mac & cheese is homemade; creamy white cheeses, baked style. It is our #1 most complained about item on the menu. Many kids expect something like Kraft, and won't even try ours once it hits the table.

It's just amazing to me how inflexible small children can be about food, and how easily "programmed" they are when it comes to their taste-buds.

Carry on....
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#37 of 43 Old 05-03-2010, 03:12 PM
 
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Honestly? If it were me? I'd stop trying. Completely. I'd even tell the child that I was going to stop trying. I'd explain that I have tried to buy/prepare the foods she says she likes (canned baked beans, in brand her mom buys, pbj, pizza etc) and she still doesn't like it, so I'm going to go ahead and cook the foods that her dad and I like, and she can choose to eat or not eat. PBJ as an option is fine, but if that becomes an area for drama, I'd eliminate the option. She can be at the table, if she is polite and pleasant, or she can play in her room during meals.

You can decide what to do about snacks between meals -- when my ffs was like this, the rule was no snacks unless you ate at the previous meal (seems mean, I know, but his thing was "white food" only, so he'd load up on crackers and cheese as a snack so as to not ever need to eat/try new things at meals).

Hopefully your husband can get her mom on board with this, so it isn't a big sympathy play at mom's, but even if it is? The drama at your house has to stop, and you are thinking now about groundwork that you want to establish long before your ds is eating.

I have 4 kids, some pickier than others. I cook one meal. I don't offer options. I certainly cook mostly kid-friendly stuff, but there are 5 of us eating -- it is rarely going to be all things that are everyone's favorite. They have all adjusted and know what the deal is.

And I agree with everyone who said maybe now would be a good time to get some therapy going -- I know you and your husband have been living together and you have been active as your dsd's step-mom for a long time, but the marriage and impending baby (as well as her developmental age, and change in thinking) may be triggering her in some ways -- who knows, she may have been holding onto some underlying fantasy of her mom and dad getting back together, which is now being really squashed. Or maybe it is the fear of being replaced by the new baby?

I'd just do whatever you can to take food off the table as an area for drama/power struggles. The food in your house is what it is. She can eat or not. End of story.

And then think about OTHER things that can be fun/treaty (activities, trips, museum memberships) at your house, that she doesn't have with mom.

I think it is all about the relationship, and not really about food at all.

((((hugs))))) It sure isn't easy!
completely agree with all the above advice. no one is going to be happy with whats served all the time, but that is life. its not perfect and kids are not being done favors by being given only "kid friendly" foods that the food manufacturers have tricked us all into believing are healthy.
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#38 of 43 Old 05-03-2010, 03:55 PM
 
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It seems that sugar is not really the issue here at all and a lot of emotional issues are getting in the way.

I would set food rules (what you will and will not server/eat) rules that both you and you DH agree on- tell the mother what will happen and get busy addressing the other issues. I would not tie food in with the other issues.

The sugar would be the least of my concerns- seem like this girl is having a really hard time of it. You can push healthy eating as far as you like but when they get older and go to friends houses, etc, so much can change. Set a good example and let it go at that.

 

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#39 of 43 Old 05-03-2010, 04:51 PM
 
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new idea, how about volunteering/joining a community gaden? or csa farm
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#40 of 43 Old 05-03-2010, 09:04 PM
 
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Originally Posted by organicmidwestmama View Post
all the processed foods you suggest have the same amounts of added sugars as regular cereal and pop tarts. organic sugar is still sugar.
You don't see a difference between high fructose corn syrup and fruit juice sweetened cereal?
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#41 of 43 Old 05-03-2010, 10:31 PM
 
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You don't see a difference between high fructose corn syrup and fruit juice sweetened cereal?
oy vey. that is not what i meant to imply. i was referring to the grams of sugar per serving in a pop tart compared to an organic toaster pop tart type food product. there are 40 grams of sugar in one pop tart on average. that is equal to 10 teaspoons of white sugar. the nature's path toaster pastries contain exactly 39 grams of sugar per serving. thats still almost 10 tsp of sugar- http://www.worldpantry.com/cgi-bin/n...cgrfnbr=185791

perhaps its just too controversial for me to say this, but i dont think any added sugar is good for kids. i used to buy the organic pop tarts, the cheddar bunnies, all of it and i genuinly believed i was making a good choice. now i know more, about how highly processed these foods are, how they contain few nutrients, and how organic sugar still affects our metabolic systems regardless. yes, hfcs is wretched stuff and obviously i would avoid that first and foremost. but i also try and minimize "natural sugars" (not fruit) that are added to things like crackers, cookies, organic cereal etc.

when my son was little i fed him processed foods that were natural and organic and i thought this was good enough. i now believe differently. but to each thier own.
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#42 of 43 Old 05-03-2010, 10:41 PM
 
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You might have noticed I said I don't give those Toaster Pastries to my kids but they could be a good middle ground for this child who seems almost addicted to the junky foods. Of course there's a difference in "sugar" I mean, we're talking glucose, fructose, sucrose, etc. They are different types of molecules, processed differently and so on. Unless you're diabetic or have blood sugar issues, I don't think it's necessary to restrict all sugar from your diet.
I would rather give my kids natural sugars than artificial sugar and sugar substitutes in an attempt to avoid grams of sugar. Splenda? blecch. Xylitol is mostly ok but it depends on the source. I like Agave Nectar in smoothies. I don't like the flavor of stevia. I like raw sugar in my coffee and honey in my chamomile tea. We also eat spoonfuls of active manuka honey when we feel like we're coming down with something and it does wonders. I think sugar can have a place in a healthy diet, it just depends on the form the sugar takes. Carbs are sugars too. Clearly processed sugars and HFCS aren't going to have a place in a healthy diet.
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#43 of 43 Old 05-04-2010, 01:36 AM
 
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oy vey. that is not what i meant to imply. i was referring to the grams of sugar per serving in a pop tart compared to an organic toaster pop tart type food product. there are 40 grams of sugar in one pop tart on average. that is equal to 10 teaspoons of white sugar. the nature's path toaster pastries contain exactly 39 grams of sugar per serving. thats still almost 10 tsp of sugar- http://www.worldpantry.com/cgi-bin/n...cgrfnbr=185791

perhaps its just too controversial for me to say this, but i dont think any added sugar is good for kids. i used to buy the organic pop tarts, the cheddar bunnies, all of it and i genuinly believed i was making a good choice. now i know more, about how highly processed these foods are, how they contain few nutrients, and how organic sugar still affects our metabolic systems regardless. yes, hfcs is wretched stuff and obviously i would avoid that first and foremost. but i also try and minimize "natural sugars" (not fruit) that are added to things like crackers, cookies, organic cereal etc.

when my son was little i fed him processed foods that were natural and organic and i thought this was good enough. i now believe differently. but to each thier own.
Moderation is key for everything. Of course never consuming sugar is ideal....but that is not very realistic in today's world, especially with children. No one is claiming that feeding a kid organic poptarts is a healthy choice...but it is better than some of the other poptart options out there.

Meghan : Kayla~ 10/19/04 Jack~ 5/27/07
Evelyn~ 10/9/10

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