2 lbs of candy for a 3 y/o, really?! - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 13 Old 04-09-2012, 08:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I just have to vent. I just don't get that people think it's appropriate to use any holiday as an excuse to bombard children (or anyone for that matter) with all sorts of candy. My SIL (who I otherwise adore) gave DS a 2 lb. (I'm guessing) basket filled with nothing (literally nothing) but candy... at 8 am on Sunday morning. 

 

I swooped in to offer him some oatmeal breakfast & luckily one of the candy containers looked like a toy, so he bopped it around while he ate his oatmeal without much caring. Later I gave him 3 jelly-bean-egg-thingies out of an egg containing an adult handful. I threw the rest away.

 

Goodness! There was just so much candy, it even made me queasy to look at it all!

 

There is just no getting around how bad sugar is for us, especially for children. Yes, I look back & see that I had my fair share of candy & sugared cereal & etc. & I'm still standing, but we know so much more today. Even if you don't have children, it's hard to escape the headlines that declare sugar to be enemy #1.

 

I'm down with playing the "switch witch" at Halloween, but the schtick gets a bit old when you have to come up with new tricks to battle every holiday. There were not games & no "switching" this time -- I was just a big meanie & threw it all away (during nap) & told DS that it was not good for him later. I don't really mind anymore what anyone thinks, but that stuff has no place in our home (not that we're perfect... we often have some homemade goodie around for a once-in-a-while treat (& I know sugar is sugar, homemade or not).

 

Vent over. Thank you!


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#2 of 13 Old 04-09-2012, 09:49 PM
 
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I'm sorry you were frustrated!  This year we just skipped the candy altogether--- we knew the kids would get plenty from grandparents, aunts & uncles, etc...

 

I'd like to suggest, though, that if you don't want it you could donate it to a local school (to keep in the teacher's room for a little treat for the teachers) or a local food bank (my parents work at one and my mom loves when she has little treats to give the kids who come in.  sometimes they have to wait quite some time--- we collect happy meal toys, used books & little things like that so the kids can get a little something fun).

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#3 of 13 Old 04-09-2012, 10:17 PM
 
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OP, I could have written that!  Everyone in my (immediate) family knows how I feel about junk food, and we just went to my dads for Easter, so there was no one there who didnt know so thankfully there was no candy given to DD.  She did find a piece of Kit Kat on the floor that someone had dropped, and since she had skipped nap time and was very tired and cranky and started screaming when I took it away, I gave her an organic sucker in order to keep her calm....  Ugh, not that I like doing that!  I keep one in my purse for emergencies (Ever had a store employee walk up to your kid and hand them a Dum Dum?  Talk about a huge scene when you take it away!)

 

My dad usually comes over for a little while before dinner most days after work, and if we have any home made treats or organic suckers around, he immediatly grabs them and hands them to DD, DH does this sometimes too.  Usually I'm in the middle of making dinner so I dont notice right away, there have been times when they've given her so many cookies that she will not even eat dinner!   They actually say that they think its healthy because its homemade or organic!!  So, guess I shouldnt say everyone knows how I feel about junk food, they only know how I feel about non-organic junk food....   But like you said, sugar is sugar!  No amount of explaining has been able to convince anyone that "just because it says organic or I make it myself with organic ingredients, does not make it healthy!"  Apparently its a nearly impossible concept to grasp!  So, it is a rare occasion that I even make treats now because of how DH and my dad act.  Its really disappointing for me that they dont respect how I feel.  They say I am being mean!   DH was actually mad at me for not making or buying DD a cake for her 2nd birthday and instead making some bars with less sugar and wheat than a cake!  He threatened to get her one from Dairy Queen, saying that "Its OK for her to have junk once in awhile/on special occasions!"  It ruined her birthday because he was pissed about my bars being substituted for a cake for the whole day.  Hello, she is 2 and so are her friends, no one except the adults even noticed!

Sorry, just had to vent too:)

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#4 of 13 Old 04-10-2012, 07:42 AM
 
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Yeah - I'm wondering how I'm going to handle this going forward.  DS is 2.5, and #2 will be here in a few months.  For Xmas it wasn't a huge deal because the candy was in his stocking, which he didn't really look in, but in future years he will.  But for Easter, it was ridiculous... we've gotten baskets from 2 of his grandmothers, and each of them had an overload of sugar in it.  Thankfully in one most of it was individually wrapped, but in the other they weren't - they were a lot of loose jelly beans stuffed in plastic eggs (so it doesn't even keep, nor do I have ingredient info, and he has a food allergy). 

 

And then we went to yet a 3rd place for the egg hunt, and there was so much candy there as to be unbelievable.  7 little kids (5 and under), and mine was the only one not on a massive sugar high.  Thankfully I discovered that DS really isn't interested in the candy.  He had half a chocolate covered peep because he saw me eating it, and that's all he had all day for sugar (he was far more interested in the bowl of strawberries).  But my problem is that the trade-off is the sugar is now sitting in my house, and I have no will power.  I ate all the jelly beans yesterday morning for breakfast.  And there was literally a bowl-full of them. 

 

I really think I need to just email the grandmamas and let them know that DS really doesn't like the candy, so maybe they should stop sending it so I'm not the one that winds up eating it.  Not sure how well that'd be received though. 

 

Now see, the interesting part is that people look at me strange when I say he doesn't eat the candy.  My friend thinks I protect him from it.  But the fact is that he's around it at other people's houses, he's just not interested.  And I don't keep candy in the house - not sure why that is seen as so strange.  He loves ice cream, cake and cookies (and would happily eat them at every meal if I'd let him), so it's not like I'm preventing him from eating ANY sugar... just candy. 


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#5 of 13 Old 04-10-2012, 09:03 AM
 
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After an incident where I pried a hard candy out of my (then 2 y/o) dd1's mouth, because MIL gave it to her in the middle of dinner things have chilled out in the 'too much candy' department.  (We had more offerings of candy at the dinner table in the future after this too, so I had to train dd that we never eat candy at dinner.  What a weird thing to have to worry about enforcing, yk?)  Thank Goodness - now she'll give the kids one mini bag of m&m's to share, and it lasts us 2 months.  But I totally hear you, OP.  I don't keep candy in the house either, and I grew up in a house that didn't keep candy around.  It is crazy to see the amounts of candy other people eat and have around.  

 

I heavily pass on word that my kids prefer stickers and bubbles, or whatever, when I get the chance.  And if you want to give candy just get a little chocolate bar - at least you have fewer weird additives in that and it isn't all 'impossible to find' like were I to mention organic lollipop or annie's bunny cookies.  

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#6 of 13 Old 04-10-2012, 09:25 AM
 
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Sorry that happened! I think you did the right thing throwing it away. I HATE the whole "it's a special occasion!" thing. We get it too. Our DD is 17 months and we got some lovely comments from DH's aunt (who knows we don't do sugar and is pissed off about it): "Did the Easter bunny bring you lots of candy?" DH: "Nope." Aunt: "Lots of cookies, then?" DH: "NOPE. TOO MUCH SUGAR." Poor guy, I think my mama bear rage is starting to rub off on him. shy.gif MIL, however, nicely and surprisingly jumped to our defense: "She's ONE. You don't give a one-year-old CANDY." So that was sweet. 

 

What is the switch witch? I'm trying to file away techniques here; I dread the sweets battle as DD gets older!


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#7 of 13 Old 04-10-2012, 02:51 PM
 
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I know some mama's who let their kids go trick-or-treating and when they get back home they trade the bucket of candy for a home made treat.  There was a thread at halloween with some tips

I've also given organic chocolate bars in place of conventional candy.  And I have told others that DD has an allergy to artificial colorings to avoid being given a sucker :)

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#8 of 13 Old 04-11-2012, 08:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Anna, the switch witch is kind of like what 1love was describing: After trick or treating kids leave out their candy for the switch witch (who needs the candy for whatever you can make up) & leaves a little toy in place of the candy. Worked great for us last year.

Thanks for sharing all your experiences too, mamas!

Cristeen, as for talking to the grandmas maybe you can find a time after the holidays have passed to just casually bring up the sugar thing around them. I can't remember exactly how it came up in my family (with my parents & MIL, that is... No one else gets it) but it was pretty much in passing though direct (as in, no big deal but this is not what we eat). My mom & MIL were awesome! My mom put together an egg hunt with raisins, little crackers, walnuts & banana chips, & some little bug toys. MIL gave DS eggs with Annies bunnies.

1love, I'm sorry you & your DH are at odds on the candy thing! I don't know what I'd do if DH was totally against my anti-sugar stance -- that must make it extra hard. But maybe he's getting over his own food issues (or fond candy memories). Maybe you can encourage him to take DD out for a treat every once in a while as a compromise & meanwhile keep talking to him about how bad it all is, especially for children.


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#9 of 13 Old 04-11-2012, 10:36 PM
 
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Originally Posted by t2009 View Post
1love, I'm sorry you & your DH are at odds on the candy thing! I don't know what I'd do if DH was totally against my anti-sugar stance -- that must make it extra hard. But maybe he's getting over his own food issues (or fond candy memories). Maybe you can encourage him to take DD out for a treat every once in a while as a compromise & meanwhile keep talking to him about how bad it all is, especially for children.

Its funny, because sometimes he is really supportive of her not having junk and brags to people that his wife is such a good mom and his kids are so healthy because I feed them so well and he compliments me on my ideas for treats and special things other than candy.  Then other times he's mad because I wont let her have it.  IDK he is confusing :)   But, in general I guess he is just mildly irritated that I wont let her have it "once in awhile" because his idea of once in awhile is every special occasion, and any time he feels like giving it to her and any time grandpa feels like it which is pretty much every day so if I did allow every once in awhile to be up to him she'd have candy daily.  Lol

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#10 of 13 Old 04-12-2012, 10:44 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by t2009 View Post

I just have to vent. I just don't get that people think it's appropriate to use any holiday as an excuse to bombard children (or anyone for that matter) with all sorts of candy. My SIL (who I otherwise adore) gave DS a 2 lb. (I'm guessing) basket filled with nothing (literally nothing) but candy... at 8 am on Sunday morning. 


I think it is weird that someone other than the parent feels the need to do a huge basket but there are lots of cool non-food items that could go in a basket.

 

We tend to not see extended family on holidays these days so don't really worry about others giving dd huge amounts of candy.. However,  Dh put together dd's Easter basket this year and it was all candy. I would have chosen to fill it with more non-candy items. I think he just grabbed bags of candy because it didn't require much thought or wandering around the store.

 


Kim ~mom to one awesome dd (12)

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#11 of 13 Old 04-12-2012, 09:52 PM
 
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For DD's egg hunt this year the eggs had coins(money) in them.  I also dont see a problem with hiding things like blackberries, blueberries, almonds, raisins, etc in them.  I love dark chocolate covered almonds and cherries, and I would not be opposed to putting a few of those in some of the eggs, but obvisouly not a ton of it!   For her basket last year there were books, toys and fruit (she was only 1 and a half which is just too young for really any candy at all).  This year it was all toys for her new sandbox and a pair of sunglasses, she LOVED it!

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#12 of 13 Old 04-12-2012, 10:01 PM
 
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I think letting family know that little toys, or books are preferred over candy is a good idea. You can easily fill a basket with little easter books, and toys.


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#13 of 13 Old 04-19-2012, 11:52 AM
 
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Ahh, yes, Easter was like that here too.  MIL gives the kids baskets full of junk candy. For a couple of years there was cheap $store stuff and that was great because the kids would play with them for a couple of days, then break, so then they could be thrown away.  But this year the basket was full of cheap nasty jelly beans, chocolate eggs, a HUGE chocolate bunny, chocolate marshmellow candy, suckers and gum.  We have a STRICT no gum rule. And she knows this - and we lived with her for 5months so she knows our rules.  

I let the kids have 1 piece of each thing and the rest got dumped in the trash.  We've taught them that Grandma doesn't understand healthy eating, so Grandma doesn't know that candy isn't good for people. So they see it from that point of view, and do not get upset when the candy gets thrown out.  it's a good educational tool to talk about once in a great while treats, vs. healthy foods that help our bodies grow big and strong. 

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