i appreciate the sentiments, i really do, but i'm still stuck on convincing my mom that it's not her BABY, much less her shower!
i even tried to back out last week, once i realized how awful it was probably going to be, saying i didn't think my car would make it to detroit and i can't afford a plane ticket, but she solved that by saying she will drive down here and get me. she just has her heart set on a big, girls-only baby shower, with meat-based food, and party favors and games and all that crap like my aunts got to have for my cousins, and i don't have the energy to fight with her about it.
my mom is just an extremely controlling and conformist person. i have been going through stuff like this with my mom ever since i moved out of her house when i was 13- every family function that has something to do with me, she tries to make it as "normal" as possible to take the family's attention off of how "weird" i am. she never takes what i would want into consideration because i wouldn't want anything "normal" and it would embarrass her, which is why my vegetarian friends and i all ate nothing but potato salad and cake at the BARBEQUE my mom threw to celebrate my high school graduation in 1995. the funny part is that nobody else in the family really cares what i eat or don't eat, what color my hair is or if my tattoos are showing- it is all just her bizarre issues that she projects onto everyone else.
i did tell her this afternoon that i'm bringing vegetarian food, period. she said fine- i guess all that nonsense about not letting me use her kitchen was just an empty threat to try to keep me from bringing "weird" food.
i'm not really willing to battle her about making sure she has vegetarian food from the caterer there when i could just bring food and have done with it. she did say that she will specifically say "vegetarian" and not just "vegetable" when she orders the lasagna, but i worked in food service for several years and i'm aware of all the stuff that goes into supposedly vegetarian meals. which i really see as just another reason to bring the vegetarian food myself- that way i know it's safe and i won't have to worry about the caterer or my mom lying about chicken broth in the marinara sauce or whatnot.
plus, i kind of feel like i brought it on myself by a) eating meat during my pregnancy and b) being stupid enough to tell my mom about it, so there's no way she will listen to a word i say about being vegetarian for the next five years, just like she did when i originally went veg in 1993. i'm back to the drawing board with her, and bringing my own food is all i have the energy for at this point.
thanks everyone for your support, it really means a lot to me. now let's all get ready for how bad she's going to wig out when i tell her we're raising the baby vegetarian!