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#1 of 51 Old 10-27-2007, 07:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Would it be unethical of me to say ds is allergic to red dye #40 at his preK, just so they wont give it to him, even though he isnt allergic to it?

They have nasty snacks-NO nutritional guidelines, the parents bring them. Huge birtday cakes with all kinds of colorings, cheetos!!!! for preschoolers!

Jenny
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#2 of 51 Old 10-27-2007, 07:47 PM
 
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What do you mean by ethical? If you mean in the sense that is it lying? I dunno, but people lie every day. I would definately lie about something like that if I had to
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#3 of 51 Old 10-27-2007, 07:49 PM
 
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You could say that the you are concerned that the dye affects his behavior negatively. That would not be a lie.

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#4 of 51 Old 10-27-2007, 07:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I dunno...I am really really really bad at lying so I am wondering if its ok to do. IMO ALL 4 year olds are allergic to red dye.
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#5 of 51 Old 10-27-2007, 07:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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You could say that the you are concerned that the dye affects his behavior negatively. That would not be a lie.
I have a feeling MOST normal people in society think of a food allergy as "You cant breate and need an epi pen" thing. kwim? (And I am sure he has had red dye since he has been there.)
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#6 of 51 Old 10-27-2007, 07:53 PM
 
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if the red 40 impacts his behaviour or otherwise I'd definitely say whatever necessary.

saying you don't want him to have it should be enough IMO but if they only listen to parents concerns if they are talking allergies then I'd go that route.

that sucks that they allow parents to bring junk for snack, I'd bring that up and see why it can't change to fruit, veggies, cheese, etc.

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#7 of 51 Old 10-27-2007, 07:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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that sucks that they allow parents to bring junk for snack, I'd bring that up and see why it can't change to fruit, veggies, cheese, etc.
I know. I may do that. I warned them I was a troublemaker from the beginning.
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#8 of 51 Old 10-27-2007, 07:55 PM
 
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I have a feeling MOST normal people in society think of a food allergy as "You cant breate and need an epi pen" thing. kwim? (And I am sure he has had red dye since he has been there.)
Exactly my point. You don't say he's allergic. You say it affects his behavior. That's probably not a lie. There are studies that show that food dyes affect children's behavior. Then you would not have an ethical issue on your hands!

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#9 of 51 Old 10-27-2007, 07:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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yeah...I guess with 15-20 PreK'ers they are probably going to have a birthday once a week, right? Ugh. And no one makes cakes anymore-they get the Dora ones from the grocery store now. ick. They arent even tasty.
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#10 of 51 Old 10-27-2007, 07:58 PM
 
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if it really does affect him, then its an intolerance, which is enough. IMO, if you tell them that he doesn't eat it, that should be enough. just make sure you provide enough alternatives for him.

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#11 of 51 Old 10-27-2007, 08:09 PM
 
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if it really does affect him, then its an intolerance, which is enough. IMO, if you tell them that he doesn't eat it, that should be enough. just make sure you provide enough alternatives for him.
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#12 of 51 Old 10-27-2007, 08:20 PM
 
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If he isn't actually allergic to it, its lying. Lying, to me at least, is unethical.

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#13 of 51 Old 10-27-2007, 08:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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if it really does affect him, then its an intolerance, which is enough. IMO, if you tell them that he doesn't eat it, that should be enough. just make sure you provide enough alternatives for him.
How do you do that without killing his little junkfood loving spirit? I am working on getting healthier but he freaks when he sees junk food. Its like a passion of my 4 yr old.

Whats yummy?

He also loves alot of fruit equally though...Although I am not certain he would choose fruit over cheetos. ???
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#14 of 51 Old 10-27-2007, 09:06 PM
 
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How do you do that without killing his little junkfood loving spirit? I am working on getting healthier but he freaks when he sees junk food. Its like a passion of my 4 yr old.

Whats yummy?

He also loves alot of fruit equally though...Although I am not certain he would choose fruit over cheetos. ???
honestly? I dont know.
I dont have this issue with my 4yo; we have choosen to follow a path of self-determination with diet.
I definately explain to DD why I dont eat certain things, and what effects foods have on our bodies (the good and the bad), but she is free to eat what she wants when she wants. (I do draw the line at not buying anything from Nestle or fast-food chains, but I've explained that to DD and she respects it).

The result is that we have a 4yo who is free to eat only sweets and junk all day. but she doesn't. Her favourite food at the moment is celery. of course she does eat sweets, but more often than not, she has a little bit, and leaves the rest.

Just last week we were in town, she saw a packet of cheezles and asked for them. I said, sure, lets just read the label first (I have a policy of reading everything). I gave it to her to have a look; of course she can't read, but I give her the respect of making her own choice. She saw those little additive numbers and shouted for the whole supermarket to hear "Its got numbers in it! I dont want that! numbers arent for eating, they're for COUNTING!"

Later that same day, we were in the health food store, and she picked up a little bar of organic dark chocolate and asked for it. Of course, I bought it for her, and the lady at the counter was all "tsk, dont you think she's hyper enough?". Well, I ignored that, and gave DD the chocolate. She ate one square of it, gave another square to her friend, and the rest (10 squares) is still sitting on the shelf, in plain view!

So to answer your question; I'd allow that little junkfood loving spirit the freedom to love junkfood, and to learn self-determination, or junkfood is always gonna have a hold over him as the forbidden fruit.

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#15 of 51 Old 10-27-2007, 09:07 PM
 
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I should add that at home, I prepare yummy wholesome meals and treats from whole, organic ingredients. "junk" is just one of MANY choices.

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#16 of 51 Old 10-27-2007, 09:26 PM
 
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if it really does affect him, then its an intolerance, which is enough. IMO, if you tell them that he doesn't eat it, that should be enough. just make sure you provide enough alternatives for him.
I agree.
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#17 of 51 Old 10-27-2007, 10:11 PM
 
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As the mother of a severely food allergic child, I urge you not to lie about your child having food allergies, particularly if his teachers have seen him eating the food in question. It is so difficult to get people to understand how serious food allergies are and there are so many misconceptions ("So if I give her this cookie she'll get a runny nose?" Um, no, if you give her that cookie she could die.). When people misuse or misrepresent food allergies, it makes it that much harder for those of us who actually have food-allergic kids to be taken seriously.

I agree with the PPs--explain that it's a behavioral issue. I'm not even totally against lying--if you say that your ped recommended he avoid it, for instance, it might carry more weight. But I would also definitely go in with suggestions for healthier snacks. There are plenty of convenient, "mainstream" foods that are better than stuff like Cheetos--Triscuits, bananas, Cheerios, raisins, string cheese, apple slices, Veggie Booty, etc.
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#18 of 51 Old 10-28-2007, 12:04 AM
 
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Unfortunately the only way some people will adhere to such requests is if you say it'll affect their health. Like I have to tell certain people I'm vegetarian because meat makes me sick (which it does but my main reason is concern for the animals) because if I don't they'll try and get me to eat meat, or sneak meat into a meal and not tell me. Ugh, why can't people respect other peoples' choices?!

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#19 of 51 Old 10-28-2007, 12:32 AM
 
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PLEASE DO NOT TELL THEM HE'S ALLERGIC! It undermines people like me when our kid goes there and they just think of an allergy as a little hyperactivity vs. what really happens (hives, death.)

I get that you don't want him having that (esp every week!) so just ask that he not get it! You can also bring in a safe treat for him to keep at class that you don't mind him having (maybe a fruit bar made of real fruit (can't remember the brand name)) so that when the other kids are eating crappy cake, he's eating his treat.

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#20 of 51 Old 10-28-2007, 02:38 AM
 
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yeah...I guess with 15-20 PreK'ers they are probably going to have a birthday once a week, right? Ugh. And no one makes cakes anymore-they get the Dora ones from the grocery store now. ick. They arent even tasty.
At least at the school district my DH used to teach in, the parents were not permitted to bring homemade foods, they had to be commercial packaged stuff.:
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#21 of 51 Old 10-28-2007, 08:38 AM
 
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If this is such an issue, and you can't find a way around it (changing the school policies, organizing/educating the other parents, etc. -- I can't see that your DC would settle for a Lara bar when everyone else is eating Dora cake, esp since you describe him as "jynk-food loving" ) then maybe you should consider finding an alternative school or daycare. I don't think lying about allergies is the way to go, as others have cautioned. You could say that he is "sensitive" or that the dyes affect his behavior, but where do you draw the line? Is it just the red dye #40? Do you have a problem with the HFCS or the PHO that are also in all those packaged junk foods? Or the Splenda or the interesterified oils? And think of how it'll affect your DC, getting "alternate" snacks when everyone else is having the same thing. That seems like setting a kid up for just as much trouble, albeit of a different kind, as junky food.

Good luck.
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#22 of 51 Old 10-28-2007, 09:27 AM
 
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Ditto Viking Mama and other posters who actually have allergies. Don't lie about it. Especially since the school already knows he's not allergic to it. You'll just make things unnecessarily difficult for your child.

Instead I'd try to change the birthday routine. In dd's preschool rather than any edible treats at all what they do is all the kids make a birthday card for the birthday child and special songs are sung at meeting time for the child and the birthday child give a book to the school library. A nameplate is put into the book so siblings and even future children of the birthday child can find the books given. The school doesn't allow edible treats framed around the amount of sugary treats that would be entering school based on the amount of kids and birthdays and the behavioral issues surrounding that. Also it's framed around allergy issues. I think those two arguments could be used in this case. The school also likes to promote the idea of giving as well as receiving. Not to mention the books and card will last a longer time than any Dora birthday cake. Unless it's not eaten I suppose. :
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#23 of 51 Old 10-28-2007, 12:30 PM
 
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My DS is 'allergic' to Yellow #5, red #40, and sodium bezonate...so that takes care of most junk and prepackaged foods. What I mean by 'allergic' is that he spazes out of control, has migraines, night terrors, and is totally in trouble the moment he eats anything with those colors/preservatives. It affects his behavior to this extreme that I'd say he is allergic. It seems as if he (his body, brain, something) is in pain from the junk in his system and he acts out, out of control. His ped said to tell people he is allergic so that it would put the 'scare factor' in them so that they wouldn't give it to him thinking I was depriving him of some childhood joy of eating crap.

I don't see it as unethical at all. Some kids ARE allergic. Who's in charge anyway? Can't they have a standard for food donations from parents? Something healthy? I don't understand why the people in charge would want crazy kids high on junk food running around???:
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#24 of 51 Old 10-28-2007, 12:48 PM
 
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Yeah, I wouldn't lie and say it's an allergy. Besides being a lie, it's not a harmless one.
I think you could get away with saying he's hypersensitive to it though.

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#25 of 51 Old 10-28-2007, 12:50 PM
 
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I am dealing with this as well with DD's school. The amount of junk they bring in is amazing. Cookies, pudding, jello - for snack!!! Not to mention all the birthday treats. It's unbelievable.

I would have absolutely no issue at all with lying if they were trying to poison my child. The problem is that, like last week, there was no red dye in the cake but it was neon blue and green. And the cake is filled with transfats, HFCS etc....

I've tried sending my child with healthy snacks. She has a bag just for her in case she doesn't like the snack. She's very aware of healthy foods and wants to make healthy decisions but it's very hard for a 5 yo to pass on cake in favor of whole grain crackers.

You have to do what you feel is necessary to protect your child's health. I've decided not to make a huge deal about the birthday treats. But, I am very vocal about the every day snacks. I've asked and asked that the director send a gentle reminder to parents that the parent handbook says snacks should be healthy, whole grain, concentrating on fruits and veggies. But, so far, parents still think capri sun and fruit snacks fit the bill
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#26 of 51 Old 10-28-2007, 01:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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But, so far, parents still think capri sun and fruit snacks fit the bill
Well, you know, they do have vitamen C! :



(Thats what my junk food loving mom would say-she thinks fruit juice is a substitute for fruit.)
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#27 of 51 Old 10-28-2007, 01:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh and a question for those of you who let your children choose their own foods:

So when you are at the grocery store and the kids are freaking about all the candy at the front, do you buy it for them?

(Let me guess, they dont want it. ) :

Really though, do you buy them all the stuff in the store thats bad for them that they want?

I am not particularly good at regulating my own sugar intake, and controlling my diet yet, so thats obviously the first goal in getting my kids to do the same.
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#28 of 51 Old 10-28-2007, 02:46 PM
 
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Oh and a question for those of you who let your children choose their own foods:

So when you are at the grocery store and the kids are freaking about all the candy at the front, do you buy it for them?

(Let me guess, they dont want it. ) :

Really though, do you buy them all the stuff in the store thats bad for them that they want?

I am not particularly good at regulating my own sugar intake, and controlling my diet yet, so thats obviously the first goal in getting my kids to do the same.
I'm a firm believer in allowing my children to have junk food in moderation.

Growing up, I knew many kids whose parents were super anal about not letting their kids have junk food. Many of those kids would gorge on junk food when they were away from their parents... at school, at their friend's houses.
Where I was generally happy with 3-4 oreos, these friends that couldn't have them at home would eat twice as much.

I buy my kids candy at the store occasionally, but not often. If they're "freaking out" about it in line, I absolutely don't buy it for them. If they're whining, begging, crying for or demanding the stuff, I'm not buying it.

I don't get bent out of shape about my kids having a Happy Meal, or a handful of Skittles, or chips. Their diets are limited enough because of food allergies (for 2 of the 4)... why should I limit it more? They don't eat junk every day, and they don't gorge on it, so I'm fine with it.
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#29 of 51 Old 10-28-2007, 03:12 PM
 
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Frankly I think it is perfectly fine to tell them that your son is allergic to red dye #40. If he has any type of rxn at all than it isn't a lie. A child doesn't have to suffer anaphalaxis for a rxn to truthfully be called an allergy. I find it very self-centered of the parents who seem to suggest this. I have a friend who's daughter is allergic to wheat. She isn't ever at risk of death, but she ends up throwing up and having diarrahea for several days if she gets more than a bite of anything with wheat. It's still an allergy. Some children's food allergies cause them eczema, some have headaches or behavioral changes. Their parents all have the right to use the word "allergy" when warning teachers not to give their child this food. Frankly as a preschool teacher I was aware that not all allergies manifested in the same way. We usually asked parents what type of symptoms we should look for if the child accidentally ingested some of their allergen. We were dilligent and it never happened, but theoretically it could, so its safer to know what signs to look for. Even if he has had some of the red dye before you can tell the school that you've recently realized he is allergic to it and to no longer let him have it.

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#30 of 51 Old 10-28-2007, 04:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm a firm believer in allowing my children to have junk food in moderation.

Growing up, I knew many kids whose parents were super anal about not letting their kids have junk food. Many of those kids would gorge on junk food when they were away from their parents... at school, at their friend's houses.
Where I was generally happy with 3-4 oreos, these friends that couldn't have them at home would eat twice as much.

I buy my kids candy at the store occasionally, but not often. If they're "freaking out" about it in line, I absolutely don't buy it for them. If they're whining, begging, crying for or demanding the stuff, I'm not buying it.

I don't get bent out of shape about my kids having a Happy Meal, or a handful of Skittles, or chips. Their diets are limited enough because of food allergies (for 2 of the 4)... why should I limit it more? They don't eat junk every day, and they don't gorge on it, so I'm fine with it.
That is so smart.

I dont trust my ds, but I should.

My 2 yr old just chose chicken over cookies!

I am afraid I tainted my 4 yr old. With my sugar issues.

Mabye we can make a comeback together.
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