WWYD: MIL just wants a salad...again... - Page 4 - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#91 of 114 Old 12-21-2007, 03:35 PM
 
Tofu the Geek's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,398
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by MommyHawk View Post
well, just called my MIL and asked if I could bring something else - possibly not my most eloquent moment - and she said, "you know, no one ever eats the salad anyway...why don't you bring an appetizer AND a desert"... yeah! I get cook ! :
Sweet! Congrats! Does that mean you won't be picking up my bagged salad for me now?

Tofie ~ mama to DD1, DD2 and Pookie v3 debuting December 2011
Oh my God....women are the COWS of PEOPLE!! --Reese, Malcolm in the Middle
Tofu the Geek is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#92 of 114 Old 12-21-2007, 03:36 PM
 
HelloKitty's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Next door to the possums
Posts: 11,369
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by MommyHawk View Post
well, just called my MIL and asked if I could bring something else - possibly not my most eloquent moment - and she said, "you know, no one ever eats the salad anyway...why don't you bring an appetizer AND a desert"... yeah! I get cook ! :
Awwwwwwww! Nice when there is a happy update. :

Great for nature studies! http://www.pleinairkids.com
Plein Air Kids - Handmade wooden art boxes for Budding Artists.
HelloKitty is offline  
#93 of 114 Old 12-21-2007, 04:17 PM
 
bellabear's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: blowing in the wind
Posts: 734
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Good for you, mama!:mmmmmmmmmmmm good food.
bellabear is offline  
#94 of 114 Old 12-21-2007, 04:27 PM
 
oneKnight's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 3,651
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post
What on earth is "potted meat"?
Think SPAM (the kind in a can, not in your inbox) or maybe other items similar to vienna sausages and canned ham
oneKnight is offline  
#95 of 114 Old 12-21-2007, 06:25 PM
 
LisainCalifornia's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Northern California
Posts: 2,557
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kidzaplenty View Post
It could not hurt to given her the benefit of the doubt. Make a simple, but good salad as well as a simple extra dish. This is family after all and if it were me, I would go out of my way to NOT cause any friction if I could. No sense putting more obstacles in the way of a good relationship than has to be there already. It is not a war, just a simple dinner, one day a year.
I added the bold, because I could not agree more. I guess I don't get the hostility? You are so lucky compared to what many people are dealing with this holiday season. You have a fully prepared dinner (sans salad) and family waiting for you to celebrate with.

I personally don't find all of these "evil plans" to get back at her for inviting you to dinner and only asking for an ordinary salad funny in the least.

It is only one meal, and you can go home and cook to your heart's content the next day and make all of the foods you like. You can invite them all to your house next week and make all the food yourself to prove to them what a great cook you are. I am sure you are a fine cook, and they would love it.
LisainCalifornia is offline  
#96 of 114 Old 12-21-2007, 06:27 PM
 
LisainCalifornia's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Northern California
Posts: 2,557
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by MommyHawk View Post
well, just called my MIL and asked if I could bring something else - possibly not my most eloquent moment - and she said, "you know, no one ever eats the salad anyway...why don't you bring an appetizer AND a desert"... yeah! I get cook ! :
That is great. And you don't have to walk around angry anymore.

Happy Holidays.
LisainCalifornia is offline  
#97 of 114 Old 12-21-2007, 06:29 PM
 
artgoddess's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Suburban hell
Posts: 12,661
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by moondiapers View Post
Maybe she's worried about your great cooking skills making her dd's feel inadequate? Or maybe tradition is really important to her and she doesn't want any of the dishes to taste different than usual?
this would be my guess. I have my own holiday traditions for food, and my in-laws have theirs. I'm getting used to the way their food tastes, but I did really enjoy the year I did Christmas at our house.

I'd just tell her how you feel. That you are happy to bring a salad, however you are really insulted that she doesn't seem to allow you to bring anything else. and then give her a couple choices of what else you will be bringing.
artgoddess is offline  
#98 of 114 Old 12-21-2007, 06:45 PM
 
onlyzombiecat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Northeast Kansas
Posts: 7,237
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by MommyHawk View Post
well, just called my MIL and asked if I could bring something else - possibly not my most eloquent moment - and she said, "you know, no one ever eats the salad anyway...why don't you bring an appetizer AND a desert"... yeah! I get cook ! :
That's nice.
What are you going to make?

Kim ~mom to one awesome dd (12)

onlyzombiecat is offline  
#99 of 114 Old 12-21-2007, 06:50 PM
 
nikag's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 475
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisainCalifornia View Post
I added the bold, because I could not agree more. I guess I don't get the hostility? You are so lucky compared to what many people are dealing with this holiday season. You have a fully prepared dinner (sans salad) and family waiting for you to celebrate with.

I personally don't find all of these "evil plans" to get back at her for inviting you to dinner and only asking for an ordinary salad funny in the least.

It is only one meal, and you can go home and cook to your heart's content the next day and make all of the foods you like. You can invite them all to your house next week and make all the food yourself to prove to them what a great cook you are. I am sure you are a fine cook, and they would love it.
/chuckle
nikag is offline  
#100 of 114 Old 12-21-2007, 06:55 PM
 
GranoLLLy-girl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,116
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Well, I for one, just checked out your website--if you can cook as well as you can paint--you are just one amazing girl all around!

My husband had heart surgery and can't ride in a car for two months--doctor's orders--so we are home this year for Christmas and some family will come to us (this never happens)--so you can bring your wonderful meals here to us! LOL! I know I'll be the one this year that the family will complain about because the meal won't be that fancy due to all that's going on. Oh well.

Glad to hear that all turned out well--you MIL is lucky to have you.
I say post your recipes somewhere here so we can see them and get some ideas!
GranoLLLy-girl is offline  
#101 of 114 Old 12-21-2007, 06:56 PM
 
mama2mygirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 1,858
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by cycle View Post
Usually people who eat mainly things from a can or box do not like "real" food. KWIM? My brother and SIL only eat things that come from boxes or cans - they turn their noses up at anything I make and constantly make fun of my eating and cooking habits. Whatevah!

I would make the salad and bring another dish, at least you'll have something you can eat - and don't be bothered by it at all.
I have a friend like this. She used to come over and criticize my homecooking and then invite me over for hamburger helper. It took me so long to figure out that she didn't really want homecooked food. She prefers the canned/boxed stuff.

:Mama to 2 :
mama2mygirl is offline  
#102 of 114 Old 12-21-2007, 06:56 PM
 
nikag's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 475
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by onlyzombiecat View Post
That's nice.
What are you going to make?
Yep, this is what I wanna know.

I love food talk.

I want details!!

nikag is offline  
#103 of 114 Old 12-21-2007, 07:53 PM
 
crysmomofthree's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 2,402
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by moondiapers View Post
I'd do this, but in a more polite way. I'd bring the salad, plus a dish that is different than what is usually there.
: THis is a great idea and i'm with you I have passive aggressive in laws and I feel put down often when we are getting ready for family events I"ve solved that by doing what is asked of me ie: salad and doing what I would love for the holiday
crysmomofthree is offline  
#104 of 114 Old 12-21-2007, 08:15 PM
 
Laggie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 3,033
Mentioned: 3 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
I'm having a similar problem with my mom - she wants me to bring dessert, but DSD and my Grandma are gluten-free, so she told me not to bring a gluten free dessert because she has something for them.

I don't really get the point of the separate desserts - if I'm going to bake, I may as well make something everyone can eat, right? So I offered to make a gluten free cake instead. No. She has jello pudding parfaits or some such thing for the gluten free. Gross.

I just told her I'm bringing cheesecake. The recipe will just happen to not have wheat, I guess.

Finally pregnant with #1 and #2! Due September 9th, 2014 
   
Laggie is offline  
#105 of 114 Old 12-21-2007, 09:48 PM
 
macheetah's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: In the marsh
Posts: 347
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Laggie, on the GF dessert thing...I have similar issues.

I'm gluten-intolerant and my family of origin either doesn't believe it or doesn't care...last year we had a family and friends dinner at my parents' house where they actually put out 5-6 desserts on a table and I could not eat any of them...my BF was so affronted by this story that he went out of his way to make me GF apple crisp and cookies for the Thanksgiving dinner we all had.

Now, for our Christmas dinner, my mom was happily telling me all the things she is making and none of them are GF. When I said I wouldn't be able to eat any of it she said, annoyed, that I could "eat around" the crust on the pecan pie. Uh, no, that doesn't work out so well! So I'm sure the BF will be beside himself thinking up some outrageous GF dessert (perhaps something with flames as mentioned earlier on the thread... )

So good for you to be thinking of your GF family members, IMHO it is very nice and thoughtful to provide a dish everyone can eat, especially when it comes to dessert. PM if you want a recipe for apple crisp or pralines.
macheetah is offline  
#106 of 114 Old 12-22-2007, 06:27 AM
 
ma_Donna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Alaska
Posts: 1,677
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
So glad to hear that you're on for an appetizer and dessert!
I agree with the theory that they don't appreciate the good cooking you do.

When my IL's first came up here to visit, at different points in the trip they brought cool whip and boxed wine into our home - I knew I wouldn't have the issues my Mom had with my Granny about never being able to cook well enough (Mom must still be traumatized since she always tries to have THE impressive dish of any occasion). Nor the problem of my SIL who has the same issue with my Mom

Anyhoo I didn't realize that cooking from scratch would be a problem for them, but I think it is. And this puzzles me since DH likes to cook from scratch. Before I met him I had no idea how easy it was to make fresh salsa.

I had some tears at our last visit with them. They left to go shopping and I started the sauce for dinner (meatballs in sauce and lasagne). I made a huge pot of sauce, roasted the garlic, fresh herbs and everything. After they got home I see MIL putting meatballs in the sauce I made - I do not eat beef - and she used jarred, full of HFCS, sauce for the lasagne.

Alaskan Mom to 2 boys
ma_Donna is offline  
#107 of 114 Old 12-22-2007, 06:50 AM
 
Smokering's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 8,313
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 5 Post(s)
Interestingly enough, quite a few traditional Christmas desserts (in NZ, at any rate) are 'naturally' gluten-free, or can be. Pavlova, meringues, ambrosia, fruit salad, ice cream, chocolate-dipped strawberries, custard... heck, even Christmas cake and Christmas pudding have quite a few gluten-free versions knocking around these days. I think making a GF cheesecake is a lovely thought.

Meringue mushrooms are cute too, and GF... just felt I should point that out. I love 'em!

If decomposition persists please see your necromancer.

Smokering is offline  
#108 of 114 Old 12-22-2007, 02:00 PM
 
mama_at_home's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 2,629
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
For Thanksgiving this year we were told to bring ONE can of corn.

Blessed mama of four
::
mama_at_home is offline  
#109 of 114 Old 12-22-2007, 02:09 PM
 
AngieB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Northern California
Posts: 1,526
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
If my dh had sisters I would think we where from the same family. With my IL's it's my MIL and her 3 sisters. They have the same boxed foods every year for the holidays and the same person always brings them and don't you dare try and change anything. One year (early in my marriage) I made the mistake of bringing a plate of cookies to christmas eve. Little did I know that Aunt C brings the cookies. No one but my dh would eat the cookies from my plate. Then for years at thanksgiving I would bring a great cranberry dish and every year MIL would open a can of cranberries and everyone but dh and I would only eat the canned crap.I gave up. I make the good stuff for my family and this year dh and I hosted and after thanksgiving party for our friends.
AngieB is offline  
#110 of 114 Old 12-22-2007, 04:16 PM
 
Nicole77's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 603
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamalisa View Post
One of my favorite MIL moments was the Christmas right after dd was born. My dad and I cook, the inlaws usually come here. As everyone was finishing dinner I said that I would make the whipped cream as soon as dd was done nursing and we could have dessert. My MIL got this incredulous look on her face and said, "Make whipped cream?" I said yes, and explained how I made it. Obviously it's nothing fancy, whipping cream, powdered sugar and vanilla. I swear she snorted and said, "Well Cool Whip has always been good enough for my family." Yea, well so is "potted meat" and canned asparagus so wtf do you know. So now dh calls me "The snob who makes her own whipped cream, just to show off".
Oh my, I think we must secretly share the same MIL. Mine thinks I am "fancy" and takes every opportunity to comment about it, even turning down chicken and white bean chili or plain old seared salmon with some butter and lemon while saying we know them, they don't like anything fancy. Makes me want to smack her.

"There is no belief, however foolish, that will not gather its faithful adherents who will defend it to the death." -Isaac Asimov read.gif

 
 
 
 

Nicole77 is offline  
#111 of 114 Old 12-22-2007, 04:42 PM
 
mata's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: savasana
Posts: 4,182
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
*
mata is offline  
#112 of 114 Old 12-22-2007, 04:43 PM
 
mata's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: savasana
Posts: 4,182
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
oh, no no no-that won't do. I'd make a couple of other dishes, and present them to her saying they're my signature dishes. She's trying to keep you in a corner! and nobody puts baby in a corner.
mata is offline  
#113 of 114 Old 12-23-2007, 05:29 AM
 
nikag's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 475
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by mata View Post
...and nobody puts baby in a corner.
Best. Quote. Ever.

nikag is offline  
#114 of 114 Old 12-23-2007, 09:41 AM - Thread Starter
 
MommyHawk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: in my novel...
Posts: 1,851
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by ma_Donna View Post
After they got home I see MIL putting meatballs in the sauce I made - I do not eat beef - and she used jarred, full of HFCS, sauce for the lasagne.
she must not be Italian...that is soooo wrong!:
MommyHawk is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off