I didn't breastfeed, but I wanted to so badly!! - Mothering Forums

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Old 12-18-2008, 11:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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The question was never "to breastfeed or not to breastfeed" for me. I always just knew I was going to breastfeed. So when my son was born that was something I figured would be challenging, but I could get through it. Well as I see it....It was all in Gods plan for me not to breastfeed this baby. See during my pregnancy I had gallstones (but was never diagnosed with it until a month after my son was born) My son just wouldnt latch. And I tried it all. Also I was in HORRIBLE HORRIBLE pain and never knew when an attack would come so I was soooooo worried that I would start to have one while trying to nurse. I looked into the whole gallstone thing and found out that certain foods would cause gallbladder attacks. So as I was battling trying to get my son to breastfeed I was also battling getting proper nutrition from the foods that wouldnt cause an attack. Turns out I wasnt able to have the surgery to remove my gallbladder until my son was 6 months old and needless to say I never breastfed my son. I felt like such a failure. But knowing now that I did all I could in my situation/condition makes me feel like i'm not a failure. I am just so confident that the next time I'm pregnant I will breastfeed and succeed. So even though I never got the chance to breastfeed, I still consider myself a lactivist!! Go Breastfeeding Mama's!!!!!!!!

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Old 12-19-2008, 12:03 AM
 
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I think you are a lactivist!

I'm crunchy... Like a Dorito.
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Old 12-19-2008, 12:07 AM
 
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I agree with the PP you are everything you say you are and more and next time you will succeed at breastfeeding! Good luck and please let us know when you are expecting, so we can cheer you on!
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Old 12-19-2008, 06:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well thank you both so much!! I will def. tell when I'm expecting next!!

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Old 12-19-2008, 06:57 PM
 
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I am so sorry you had to struggle like that mama! Don't ever feel like you failed your child. You did everything that you could. Thank you for sharing your stroy!

Cheryl, wife to an amazing man, homeschooling SAHM to Gavin 12/03, Rhys 09/06, and Ian Aug 11, 2010.

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Old 12-20-2008, 06:56 PM
 
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I had a very similar story as you plus I was a bfar mom with my first born. I felt like a failure too and plenty of people tried to rub it in my face making me feel worse. The second time around Ive been able to nurse with very few issues and it really has helped me heal. You did your best and dont let anyone tell you otherwise.

Mother of 3, welcomed a new baby girl July 2011

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Old 12-21-2008, 02:20 AM
 
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I had a terrible time the first time around, resistant thrush, then my son's reflux, and finally recurrent plugged ducts. I went 16 months ranging from agony to moderate discomfort, and I stuck with it because he couldn't tolerate formula because of his reflux. This time, I said I'd go 6 weeks he77 or high water, and we've had zero problems. Nuring has been a gift and every child is a different relationship. Maybe next time it will work out!
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