Friend won't breastfeed because she wants to drink her face off - Mothering Forums

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Old 01-27-2009, 10:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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This is my sister's friend I am speaking of. A well-educated veterinarian. She isn't going to breastfeed her baby (she is not pregnant yet, but they are trying in-vitro with frozen sperm because her husband had Leukemia) because she wants to be able to get wasted.

WHATS WRONG WITH PEOPLE!?!?!?!?!

And why is it often nurses, doctors, and others in the medical field who choose not to breastfeed? Shouldn't they be well aware of the benefits? I don't get it. Grrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Amy, mommy to Ava, 6, Gavin, 4, Lila, 2, and Baby #4 due in early November! joy.gif
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Old 01-27-2009, 10:51 PM
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Well, at least she's not planning to get wasted and then breastfeed.

It's hard to do, but sometimes I think it's best to step away from discussions with certain people. It sounds like she's not someone you're particularly close to. Besides, she's not even pregnant yet.

If she truly is wasted all the time when she is a parent, her child will have much bigger problems than not being breastfed, and I hope that her friends and family support her in changing that pattern. But pregnancy and parenting change people in ways that they often can't predict.

I understand that hearing her talk about this must be frustrating, though, and my heart goes out to you.
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Old 01-27-2009, 10:51 PM
 
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I get completely irritated about this too! My SIL is like this. She never came out and said "I want to party every-single-weekend" but her actions did and do. I think it all boils down to selfishness. If you breastfeed you have to put forth an effort, can't cram whatever you want down your throat, be available and its harder to push you children off on others. For what its worth my SIL isn't a Doctor or anything fancy like, she is just isn't the best at putting others before herself.

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Old 01-27-2009, 10:53 PM
 
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Um, wow. Perhaps she would feel differently if she knew she could still drink (moderation) and nurse or pump and dump if she drinks too much? Also, I know I had a lot less desire to drink any major quantity once DS was born. It just seemed silly. Of course you can't tell her that now but as long as she starts BF, maybe she'll figure that part out on her own.

Of course saying you aren't going to give your child the best food because you want to be able to over indulge in alcohol is saying something...possibly that she's really selfish?

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Old 01-28-2009, 12:53 AM
 
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Bummer. I drink regurally, and never gave it a second thought NOT to bf. Of course, at first it wasn't in any great quantity, but still, you can drink and breastfeed. Remeber when 2 beers would knock you on your @ss? Well, maybe she'll have some time to think about it and do the real research. Perhaps you can help pass along some info?
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Old 01-28-2009, 01:23 AM
 
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I don't believe it. My guess is that this woman has a mix of bad information about breastfeeding, and probably some negative feelings or discomfort with regard to using her breasts to feed a baby. She's just pinning all of it on the drinking thing. You can't seriously binge drink frequently and heavily enough to interfere with breastfeeding while caring for a baby and holding down a full time job as a veterinarian.

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Old 01-28-2009, 01:34 AM
 
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Exactly how frequently does she want to get wasted?
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Old 01-28-2009, 01:34 AM
 
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She isn't even pregnant, so don't put too much stock in her current feelings. When it is real, she will read and learn, and possibly change her mind.
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Old 01-28-2009, 02:20 AM
 
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As others have said, you can drink and breastfeed. You just have to be aware of when and how you need to nurse.

Personally, I was REALLY looking forward to drinking after being pregnant. I did so in moderation and I never, ever could have had a lot. I was always too tired. =)
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Old 01-28-2009, 02:33 AM
 
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You can be totally wasted, like dangerously drunk, and your breast milk will still have less alcohol in it than a non-alcoholic beer. You don't have to pump and dump; just wait for your blood-alcohol level to drop. Your breast milk-alcohol level is identical. So if I have a blood alcohol level of like 0.6, which would put me in the hospital and probably result in my stomach being pumped, my milk still has less booze in it than an O'Doul's.

I wouldn't worry too much about your friend, OP. She's not even pregnant yet. Maybe those maternal urges will kick in sometime before the baby is born.

P.S. I am not saying mamas should feel free to get wasted all the time. Not only is it horribly unhealthy, but it's dangerous and irresponsible to be that drunk around a young baby, it makes cosleeping way riskier, and nursing with a hangover is awful.

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Old 01-28-2009, 04:07 AM
 
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I know people like this. Talk about priorities....

These are the ones w/90 kajillion pics on their facebook or whatever of them trashed at a party...

GOOD moms let their kids lick the beaters. GREAT moms turn off the mixer first!
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Old 01-28-2009, 10:57 AM
 
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Who will be watching the baby while she is getting wasted?
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Old 01-28-2009, 11:18 AM
 
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Maybe she was joking?
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Old 01-28-2009, 11:53 AM
 
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How weird to think that way. Yeah, maybe she wasn't serious??

I used to be quite the party girl but the minute I realised i was pregnant, I stopped drinking. Literally: I was in a bar and had a beer in front of me when the penny dropped (pregnancy was unplanned, luckily I realised quickly after missing my period), and I got up and left and I haven't really drank any alcohol since (except some sips of champagne here and there to celebrate).

I plan to breastfeed my dd for as long as possible. I also plan on going out now and then. (as in: every couple of months or once a month or something. I don't know when though, haven't been out yet!).
I'll just make sure I have a stash in the fridge/freezer so my parents who'll babysit, can feed dd (and look after her, cause I wouldn't want my dd to be around a drunk/tipsy parent...).

But even then, I think I just won't enjoy going out as much anymore cause I'll miss my dd


Maybe once your friend is pregnant, she'll feel completely different and her priorities will change.

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Old 01-28-2009, 05:03 PM
 
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it's even more messed up that they're willing to pay for invitro and everything but not willing to do everything to make sure their child is as healthy as possible!

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Old 01-28-2009, 06:18 PM
 
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Seems like BF isn't really the main concern. Seems like she may have an alcohol abuse problem.
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Old 01-28-2009, 06:28 PM
 
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Yeah, I know someone who did basically the same thing. Tried for years to get pregnant, wanted a baby so badly, etc ... but laughed when someone asked about BFing! Her answer was "I'm already giving up NINE MONTHS of my life to make this baby! I'm not giving up more when formula is just as good. Even moms need to PARTY sometimes!"

And she made her husband stop and buy her a daiquiri on the way home from the hospital.
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Old 01-28-2009, 07:08 PM
 
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Hopefully when she finally has a baby she'll realize other things are more important!

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Old 01-28-2009, 09:09 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Leisha View Post

I used to be quite the party girl but the minute I realised i was pregnant, I stopped drinking. Literally: I was in a bar and had a beer in front of me when the penny dropped (pregnancy was unplanned, luckily I realised quickly after missing my period), and I got up and left and I haven't really drank any alcohol since (except some sips of champagne here and there to celebrate).
this was totally me! For the two weeks before I found out, I was living on coffee, beer, cigarettes, and canned tuna. I was like 3 days late, in a bar drinking heavily and smoking a cigarette when I asked my friend how late she was when she found out she was pgs. When she said about the same, I finished my beers and went home. The next day I took a test and no more drinking for me! I did have the occasional glass of wine later in my pregnancy, and was lucky enough to have 2 or 3 the night before I went into labor to celebrate my brother's 21st bday. I was glad I did, though, because I think it really helped the labor along!

Anyway, I would just ignore it until she gets pgs and see what happens then!
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