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#1 of 15 Old 04-26-2009, 01:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My MIL is generally supportive of my parenting decisions. I have a 7 mo DD who is still ebf (unless you count smushing food all over her try at dinner time "eating"). I mentioned in passing what a comfort nurser she is. That whenever she hurts herself of is upset she just loves to nurse to calm down. She said that it was a bad habit for her to get into. ??? I don't get it. She very pro-bfing, so I can't for the life of me figure out her reasoning.

Anyone heard this before and made the person explain themselves? Why would someone say this?

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#2 of 15 Old 04-26-2009, 01:12 PM
 
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No exactly the same situation, but when people tell me toddlers nurse "only for comfort" I just respond, "Emotional needs are still needs," and leave it at that.

Mommy to DD March 2008, DS July 2010
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#3 of 15 Old 04-26-2009, 01:15 PM
 
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I think because some people think you aren't supposed to comfort a child every time they get upset. Maybe they think babies need to learn independence early on. Like when my BIL told our SIL that she needs to let her 2 week old learn to self soothe and not nurse her every time she cries:. But it doesn't really make sense because breastfeeding (for me at least) is the easiest way to calm my 2 yr. old down and make him feel better. I don't understand why you wouldn't use the best tool at your disposal.

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#4 of 15 Old 04-26-2009, 09:03 PM
 
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Maybe because the child may come to associate comfort with food, leading to eating issues. I know my mom did this, and regrets it (distracting us with a snack from an 'owie' or something) and wonders if this is why our family has weight issues. Maybe your mil doesn't want to see your child turn to food every time she gets stressed out, but rather be comforted with a hug or some kind words?
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#5 of 15 Old 04-26-2009, 09:14 PM
 
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But when children nurse for comfort, they control the flow and if they're not hungry they won't fill themselves up. Giving comfort from the breast is to associate comfort with mom- not food.

Mommy to DD March 2008, DS July 2010
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#6 of 15 Old 04-26-2009, 09:17 PM
 
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I think she means babies need to learn to self soothe when they are in distress, but not a little one like yours at 7 weeks, that is too early!

Katherine, SAHM to 2 little princes
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#7 of 15 Old 04-26-2009, 11:22 PM
 
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Lots of people say they're "pro-breastfeeding", but don't really understand what that entails. Perhaps that is the case? Unless you're very knowladgeable about bf'ing, you really don't know what is normal. My 6.5 month old LOVES to nurse, and hates "real" food, so you're not alone.

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#8 of 15 Old 05-02-2009, 01:50 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TopHat View Post
No exactly the same situation, but when people tell me toddlers nurse "only for comfort" I just respond, "Emotional needs are still needs," and leave it at that.
LOVE this! I will use it! :
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#9 of 15 Old 05-02-2009, 07:12 PM
 
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Originally Posted by teale View Post
LOVE this! I will use it! :
Me, too; I love it!

It really does show our society's ignorance regarding breastfeeding Comfort nursing will not create emotional dependency, neither will it cause eating issues. (Now, using food to comfort is different from breastfeeding as a form of comfort.)

I know my experience is purely anecdotal, of course, but both of my boys are emotionally sound, healthy children; despite both of them comfort nursing beyond toddler hood. They are 2 years old and 5 years old and both go to school happily (my two year old decided he wanted to go to school this year like his big brother--never cried for me or even looked back--meanwhile he was coming home and nursing to sleep, or after a tantrum or a bad fall; he just weaned this week).

Just thought I'd add my personal perspective because I remember what it was like to hear all those comments in those early months.

Ladonna
Mama to Samuel (6) Gabriel (4) and Jacee (just born on 12/15/09 7lbs5oz 20.75 in)
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#10 of 15 Old 05-02-2009, 09:27 PM
 
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It really does show our society's ignorance regarding breastfeeding Comfort nursing will not create emotional dependency, neither will it cause eating issues. (
nak

but it will cause sore nipples sometimes!

-
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#11 of 15 Old 05-02-2009, 10:01 PM
 
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I had a well intentioned nurse and doctor both tell me that if a newborn nurses for longer than 10 minutes per breast, they are "just using you as a pacifier". Seriosly, a nurse told me this when my DS was 2 days old!! No wonder so many women have supply issues when advice like that is given out by breastfeeding "supporters".

My DS rarely cried as a baby, if he started to fuss it almost always meant he wanted to nurse and then he quieted right down when I nursed him. Let's see, what would I rather have, a quiet, happy, nursing baby, or a crying baby who is supposedly being taught some "lesson" about self control?
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#12 of 15 Old 05-03-2009, 01:00 AM
 
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When people say the "human pacifier" comment, I respond with, "Yes, I'm so grateful that I can pacify her."


Mommy to DD March 2008, DS July 2010
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#13 of 15 Old 05-03-2009, 01:54 AM
 
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Human pacifiers are far less likely to fall on the ground and require washing with soap and water

I am ALL for comfort nursing. I had a 20-minute flip-out this evening to deal with and I spent most of it wishing DD hadn't weaned. (She weaned just before her 3rd birthday.) Boobies solve all kinds of problems - too useful a tool to give up without a darned good reason!

Postpartum doula & certified breastfeeding educator, mama to an amazing girl (11/05) and a wee little boy (3/13).

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#14 of 15 Old 05-04-2009, 01:37 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jitterBug mom View Post
I had a well intentioned nurse and doctor both tell me that if a newborn nurses for longer than 10 minutes per breast, they are "just using you as a pacifier". Seriosly, a nurse told me this when my DS was 2 days old!! No wonder so many women have supply issues when advice like that is given out by breastfeeding "supporters".

My DS rarely cried as a baby, if he started to fuss it almost always meant he wanted to nurse and then he quieted right down when I nursed him. Let's see, what would I rather have, a quiet, happy, nursing baby, or a crying baby who is supposedly being taught some "lesson" about self control?

I don't know how many people told me that "Did you know it only takes 10 min for the baby to empty your breast? Any longer is just for comfort, and unnecessary." It is definitely THE breastfeeding myth that I've heard repeated most often.
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#15 of 15 Old 05-04-2009, 01:45 AM
 
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I wish I had those comebacks regarding "human pacifier" comments. Now, though, I'm wondering why I didn't think to say, "You know, which came first, the pacificier or the boob?" LOL!

Ladonna
Mama to Samuel (6) Gabriel (4) and Jacee (just born on 12/15/09 7lbs5oz 20.75 in)
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