Owensmom, I am so sorry you're having to deal with this. I read your post yesterday and decided to test an idea I had gotten on another board to see if it works.
After talking about how the milkies are boo-boo I borrowed green body paint from my daughter and colored my nipples green. (The mom on the other board used Crayola washable marker.) Then I sat down with my ds to read some stories. He kept jabbing me in the breast which hurt (I have been getting recurring mastitis). So I told him please to be careful b/c they really hurt. Asked did he want to see? Of course he said yes. So I unveiled them.
His mouth dropped open and he exclaimed "Mom! Your milkies turned geen!" (he's 2.5 that's how he says green) and asked to see them several more times at intervals. When it came time to go to sleep, he didn't even ask. Dh asked him if he wanted to have some milkies, just to see what he'd say, and he emphatically declared, "NO! Mom's milkies turned GEEN!"
Okay, then he started running a little fever (just a cold) which I would have postponed weaning had I anticipated that, but too late to turn back. And yet he still didn't even ask to nurse!!! Even waking up feverish at 5:00 am (which is one of our two main times that he would nurse), he sat up in bed (we cosleep) and asked for a glass of water!!!
You could have told me that would happen and I wouldn't have believed you in a million years!!
Anyway, just thought I'd let you know of my experience. Now we are on night #2 and no sign of his wanting to nurse. (I reapplied the paint when I got home from work just in case he asked to see, but he hasn't.) So I say it worked.
I wish you all the strength you will need to deal with the coming therapies, etc. You'll be in my thoughts.
ETA, I also use a homeopathic remedy called phytolacca decandra (sp?) which my midwife had given me for the first bout of mastitis. (Over a year ago.) Cabbage leaves in the bra are good too, when weaning or decreasing nursing sessions abruptly. And stay away from oatmeal! You don't need to increase production, obviously.
Oh, he just came up to me and said "I want milkies." I said "they are boo boo, don't you remember? They're broken." "I want to see." I showed him and he counted them. "1, 2." And that was that.