Were you BFed? How long? Does it affect the support system you have? - Page 4 - Mothering Forums

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Old 07-06-2009, 05:37 AM
 
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I was BF past 1 yr (not sure how long exactly) and my mom is supportive.
My DH was BF for 6 weeks until my MIL was put on a course of meds because she broke out head-to-toe in hives, apparently from how much stress round the clock BFing put on her body (she FF her first two). My MIL and DH are supportive of BFing.
As supportive as they are now, all of them were way too quick to suggest supplementing with formula in the early weeks when it was just plain hell. My MIL went so far as to buy some and bring it to my house (I sent it back with her). She also asked me a few weeks ago when we were discussing DD's milk protein intolerance if I would FF if her pedi suggested putting her on special formula... I told MIL no I would not FF- I would fire the pedi : I think she was shocked.
But everyone has been pretty good about finding and even making me dairy free food, they all love to comment about how chunky DD is from my milk, and my mom is always commenting how DD is thriving

Carrie~ wife to Ryan, and finally mama to Emmery (1/15/09) via IVF after 3 1/2 years TTC!
Breast Feeding, Bed Sharing, Baby Wearing, Select/Delayed Vaxing, Attached Family
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Old 07-06-2009, 07:00 PM
 
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I was not breastfed do to medical issues at birth but my mom wanted to and had planned to. So she is completely supportive of my planning to breastfeed. Our goal is 6-12 months and we'll see from there! My partner is supportive of this goal as well and ready to help where she can!

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Old 07-06-2009, 09:08 PM
 
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I was selfweaned at about 4.5 years. Dh at 2.5-2.75 years.

There was no thought about not bfing this kid. I think my mom and mil would be very disappointed in me if I didn't bf. For both of them bfing was very easy.

Dh has issues with mamas who choose to ff. I do as well, but I think he's more of a irl lactivist while I hate formula co's and most medical advice having to do with bfing.

Interestingly, outside of being nursed, neither of us had other exposure to bfing. I fed my babies from plastic bottles. Dh doesn't remember seeing kids bfing in his family, though they were.

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Old 07-06-2009, 10:54 PM
 
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Myself and my 3 siblings were all breastfed. I self weaned around 18 months. My mom always spoke affectionately about nursing and I always looked forward to doing it with my own children

My mom was at the birth of my daughter and helped me with the first latch in the delivery room. Her support was wonderful and she encourages me to nurse as long as possible.

So yes, my upbringing definitely influenced my feelings.

DH's mom breastfed him for a year. It was (from what I can tell) more about economics than anything else. She introduced solids very early and wanted him to be "fattened up". She makes comments about our daughter's size (she is small and lean, but eats very well and nurses well) and tells us to give her all kinds of food and it DRIVES ME NUTS! LOL

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Old 07-07-2009, 12:10 PM
 
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My mother was a big bra-burning feminist who somehow got it into her head that breastfeeding would rob her of her freedom, so she fought it with everything she had. It didn't help that back then, the hospital nurses would openly look down on anyone who didn't nurse. Just to go against the grain, my mother chose formula. Finally, she had inverted nipples and was told she'd need to wear a shield, so that scealed my fate. I was bottlefed soy formula.

To be quite honest, my mother has supported my *choice* to breastfeed, but she still thinks it's a "whole bunch of troubles" (directly translated from québécois French!). I'm a very stubborn person though, so I just ignored her and kept doing what I wanted. I don't know why exactly, but DD only took a bottle ONCE at 8 weeks, and then never again. My mother equates that with a loss of freedom for me, and she sometimes talks about how I am sacrificing myself on the "alter of breastfeeding". I know she looks forward to the day that I wean. My father, on the other hand, was nursed for quite some time, by a wet nurse, as was the tradition in wealthy families in Viet-Nam. My grandmother was a midwife who ran a midwifery hospital in Saigon, so he was quite comfortable with the idea of extended nursing. Just the other day, he talked about the wonderful gift I have given my DD by nursing her for this amount of time. He still considers it a sacrifice on my part (because of the lack of sleep and the inability to pass DD off to DH for a bottle), but I think he feels it's a positive sacrifice. My mother, sadly, does not.

My DH was breastfed though I have no idea how long. MIL was an L&D nurse for decades and she firmly believed in the benefits of nursing. I think I got more support from my MIL, the lactation consultants I saw and the Nourri-Source group I attended, than from my own mother.
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Old 07-07-2009, 12:20 PM
 
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My mom nursed all 3 of her kids (me till 18 months when she weaned to get pregnant, #2 till about 3, #3 till about 2). She did introduce pureed food around 4 months. All of her 5 sisters nursed their babies for 1+ years. My maternal grandmother nursed all 8 of her kids for about a year each. It would have never occurred to me to do anything but nurse my babies.

DH's mom did not nurse any of her babies (she tried briefly with the first, but the doctor said it wasn't working and she was so relieved), and they've been mildly supportive. Both of his sisters and his SIL attempted to BF, but quit very very early due mostly to lack of knowledge, poor advice, and lack of support. I haven't had any really negative comments, but they haven't been super positive either. Throughout my first pregnancy they kept talking about "if BF doesn't work then...." and I kept saying "it will work."

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Old 07-07-2009, 08:46 PM
 
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My older sister was bf, but I wasn't. Mom still hasn't told me why, but maybe someday I'll get the nerve to ask. I was apparently a "colicky" baby and couldn't keep down anything they fed me. They tried everything but finally had to buy some kind of obscure, expensive goat's milk product two hours away. I grew up with (and still have) terrible eczema, and I am prone to many auto-immune diseases. I have digestive issues even though I eat healthfully. I hate to say it, but I suspect that if Mom had just bf me I would be a lot healthier today.

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Old 07-07-2009, 09:43 PM
 
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My mother breastfed myself and my four siblings for one year. I think that probably impacted my "decision" to breastfeed, I just remember knowing I would breastfeed, not deciding I would. I suppose if she didn't and had portrayed some negative view of it to me growing up that I may not have wanted to nurse. I nursed both my children to 19/20 months and I was a tiny bit less secure about that decision since my mother was pretty firm on being done before their memory really kicked in to make weaning more difficult.
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Old 07-08-2009, 04:48 AM
 
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I was nursed for 5 months before my mother got pregnant with my brother and weaned because she couldn't keep up with the demands of a full time job, a baby and a second pregnancy. No idea if I was weaned onto formula or straight onto table food. She nursed my brother for 7 months when he was weaned straight onto table food. My mother had nothing but challenges with my brother: my father was unemployed when he was born so she went back to working double shifts at 11 days post partum and my brother had horrific colic that lasted a solid 7 months. Everytime I have to pump at work I have to keep reminding myself that if she managed to make BFing work with my brother, there's no reason in the world I can't make it work too. She's not outwardly supportive though, I think because she's too afraid to sound pushy

MIL and FIL are a whole different story. I got many "see how long THAT lasts" comments from both of them while I was pregnant and now with DS being 3 months they're pushing solids : MIL also thinks she's the authority on BFing because SIL has a coworker who is BFing. The idea of nursing her children never once crossed her mind. Our relationship is openly volatile and I really couldn't give half a rat's behind what my inlaws think anymore (and I kind of enjoy antagonizing them )

So even though I do have family members who BFed or were BFed, I don't really have any support. DH has been clueless and even said some rather mean things, so he's no help. The only real BF support I have is my nursing relationship with DS
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