Breasts as sexual objects just doesn't make sense anymore. - Page 4 - Mothering Forums
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#91 of 98 Old 05-31-2009, 09:23 PM
 
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Originally Posted by ILoveSweetpea View Post
You guys have brought up way too many good points for me to quote here. But thank you. You've given me a lot of things to think about. I have certainly concluded that my issues with breasts as sex objects are simply that : MY ISSUES. I think if DH was more into breasts in the bedroom, this would be a big issue in our relationship. As it stands, it is just an icky feeling on my part...

But some of your points are really starting to sink in for me. Breasts can be sexual and that can be OK. It's still hard for me to believe that, but I think it'll take time and my own dealing with feelings.

FYI... I did NOT click on the article that was posted. I didn't think it would be psychologically healthy for me to read it! LOL! I want to keep nursing DS as long as possible, so I don't need something that may reinforce my fears and concerns.

Anyway... I just wanted to thanks everyone for sharing so thoughtfully on this tough subject. The talk turned into something other than what I intended, but it was all very interesting nonetheless. I have a of great advice and ideas to think about, and maybe I can try to let go of this "hang-up" of mine.

Thanks again.

But you know, if it's not a problem for you and DH, then it's not a problem! Maybe this is the way you are and that is okay within your relationship...not a sign of needing to change or being in the wrong.

Mama to expecting Babe 2
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#92 of 98 Old 05-31-2009, 09:53 PM
 
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Originally Posted by velcromom View Post
I haven't read thru all the posts but has anyone shared the story Katherine Dettwyler shares in one of her books - where she tells women in one of the cultures she's visiting that men in America like to incorporate breasts into intimate play, they ROFLMBO about the men in America that act like babies nursing!!
And I've kind of wondered if breasts tend to be such a sexual thing here because so many of us were deprived of our mother's breasts as children. So we make up for it by having a relationship with breasts and nipples in the bedroom.

Maybe sex is a way for us to get some of the "babying" we missed out on, LOL.

Susan -- married unschoolin' WAHMomma to two lovely girls (born 2000 and 2005).
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#93 of 98 Old 05-31-2009, 09:56 PM
 
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And, again, there's nothing wrong with that -- so long as the sexualization doesn't become so overpowering that it interferes with babies being able to get the breast promptly, wherever they happen to be (because of the sexualization-thingie causing a corresponding and unhealthy prudishness about breastfeeding).

Susan -- married unschoolin' WAHMomma to two lovely girls (born 2000 and 2005).
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#94 of 98 Old 05-31-2009, 10:09 PM
 
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Originally Posted by mammal_mama View Post
And I've kind of wondered if breasts tend to be such a sexual thing here because so many of us were deprived of our mother's breasts as children. So we make up for it by having a relationship with breasts and nipples in the bedroom.

Maybe sex is a way for us to get some of the "babying" we missed out on, LOL.
I dunno.. DH was breast feed. :P
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#95 of 98 Old 05-31-2009, 10:18 PM
 
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I dunno.. DH was breast feed. :P
Yes, but he was raised and socialized in a society in whcih breastfeeding was/is decidedly the minority, so the overall critique of "bottle feeding society leads to sexualized breasts" may still be valid.

Or not.
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#96 of 98 Old 05-31-2009, 10:55 PM
 
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Originally Posted by mammal_mama View Post
And I've kind of wondered if breasts tend to be such a sexual thing here because so many of us were deprived of our mother's breasts as children. So we make up for it by having a relationship with breasts and nipples in the bedroom.

Maybe sex is a way for us to get some of the "babying" we missed out on, LOL.
Respectfully, I don't think so. I was breastfed.

My children were breastfed and my breasts are still a huge source of comfort for both of them. Mainly the one who is still nursing , but for the older one as well. When he is upset or hurt, the very first thing he wants to do is bury his head in my chest.

Hell, when I'm hurt or upset, I still love to be held against my mother's chest. I think this is more *because* we were breastfed.

Breasts are many things to many people.

For hisbeautifulwife a baby suckling is very, very different from how my husband treats my breasts when we are intimate. It's not even in the same ball park. A child's suckling is vigorous and purposeful for the most part. I don't know how to describe it, but I personally have never derived any kind of sexual gratification from a nursing child. I don't really know how to describe how it is different, but it is. Your body will know the difference when the time comes.

Mama to Thing 1 and Thing 2.
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#97 of 98 Old 05-31-2009, 10:59 PM
 
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If one is used to that feeling as a "oooweee feel good" feeling how is one supposed to turn that off because it's not like you are feeling it on purpose? I think this is one reason some women never try because they can't wrap their minds around how this works.

If it feels good are you supposed to be ashamed? Does that make you a bad person? Or do you just say, yes it feels good, and it feels good in the same way but its different because I'm not thinking about it like that?
after the child weans, and the hormones taper off, it no longer feels good to have babe touch them. that is natural too. look at cats etc. they literally smack their kittens away when they are too old. human mothers dont smack our child away, but it no longer feels good. you shouldnt feel ashamed of feeling good while bfing. it doesnt feel good in the same way. it feels motherly and loving. DH playing with them is exciting etc. it is different. some women and some men (My DH) dont like their nipples touched at all. DH loathes it. does nothing for him. everybody is different.

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I suspect this is what you read (WARNING: IT'S SERIOUSLY MESSED UP!).
that is seriously messed up. thhat makes me mad that some people would put trash like that up. if you aren't supposed to bf your child why do you have breasts that make milk? it is not like people can mine formula.... what about before people knew how to milk cows etc? i just dont see the point behind people putting up stuff like that.

Me,DH,DS1'95, '98,DSD'03,DD1'07,DD2'09,DS2'12 Living with Fructose Malabsorption Syndrome and Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome Type 3-Hypermobility.)o( and sometimes I get toif I am lucky.
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#98 of 98 Old 05-31-2009, 11:42 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Arwyn View Post
Yes, but he was raised and socialized in a society in whcih breastfeeding was/is decidedly the minority, so the overall critique of "bottle feeding society leads to sexualized breasts" may still be valid.

Or not.
Actually he was raised within a religious group of people where breast feeding was the norm. He was surprised as an adult how few people actually do bf. And admittidly it might not have been so much the religion but more the hippiness of the group of people in the bay area in the mid 70's. :P
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