3 months is plenty.... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 01-06-2010, 05:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Says my DH and it has me all confused. Neither of us were breastfed. I breastfed DS for roughly 2 1/2 months - had low supply, was uneducated, didn't have much support from other nursing mamas (had no clue about MDC ) and was all distraught.

Now, we're preparing for baby #2 and I'm wanting the nursing relationship to last a little longer than it did with DS and I was discusisng this with DH last night. He feels that the first 6 weeks are good enough - once I go back to work after maternity leave, that the baby will go on formula and things will be just fine. DH is also not up for me NIP - would rather that I pump and put in to a bottle or nurse before we're heading out someplace.

I don't want to make him feel umcomfortable, put him in an awkward position or anything of this nature. How can I convince him that this is really important for all of us - not just for the benefit of the baby, but for my health benefit, help with weight loss and saving us money!

Has anyone else been put in this position with your DP/DH? If so, how were you able to convince them otherwise?

One happy mama to 1/06 , 3/10 , and married to my best friend
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#2 of 5 Old 01-06-2010, 07:08 PM
 
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With my DH the idea of NIP was much scarier than the reality. Once he saw that 1. doing it any other way was a pain for me 2. No one seemed to notice and 3. it wasn't nearly the production he thought it was going to be, he chilled out. If it helps, show him this. It's a video of me, nursing as I do in public that I made when DD was about 10 months old because there seemed to be a lot of questions about how to NIP.

On the "3 months is enough" you can present him with all the evidence if you think that will help (some DH's like hard facts, others they're not so effective) The main issue with my DH (if we were in your shoes) would be that it was important to me and something I regretted about my experience w/ my first child. So communicating those 2 things would help sway my DH. Of course YMMV.

Kristy, wife to Josh proud mama to Katie: since 3/08 and Emma since 8/12.

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#3 of 5 Old 01-06-2010, 07:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KristyDi View Post


With my DH the idea of NIP was much scarier than the reality. Once he saw that 1. doing it any other way was a pain for me 2. No one seemed to notice and 3. it wasn't nearly the production he thought it was going to be, he chilled out. If it helps, show him this. It's a video of me, nursing as I do in public that I made when DD was about 10 months old because there seemed to be a lot of questions about how to NIP.

On the "3 months is enough" you can present him with all the evidence if you think that will help (some DH's like hard facts, others they're not so effective) The main issue with my DH (if we were in your shoes) would be that it was important to me and something I regretted about my experience w/ my first child. So communicating those 2 things would help sway my DH. Of course YMMV.
Wow - that was really discreet and you looked like a pro!! Your daughter is adorable, too, btw!

I also think it's more of a conveince matter for him and maybe he's just wanting to make things easier on me as well - his own way of doing so. I'm sure we'll have more discussions in the near future. Thanks so much for your advice.

One happy mama to 1/06 , 3/10 , and married to my best friend
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#4 of 5 Old 01-07-2010, 06:43 AM
 
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My dh didn't get it either. With our first, it was like "oh, it's no big deal. just stop when you go back to work." I just sat down and told him all the benefits, and I reminded him that with using formula comes the ability for HIM to get up with baby in the middle of the night. That was what seemed to sway my dh.......he loves his sleep.
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#5 of 5 Old 01-07-2010, 08:34 AM
 
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I can't say that DH was limiting my choice (putting a timeframe on me) but he didn't really "get it" either. He assumed (wrongly) that I would be done bf'ing once DS is able to start solids. When I mentioned to him that my goal was 1 yr. and probably beyond, he was stunned. However, now that he's seen the powers of breastmilk () he is not so quick to open his mouth. Especially when he sees those around us who are spending $$ on formula. He is still bothered by NIP and constantly messes with my cover to make sure no skin is showing. All I can say is to keep stating all the pros and pleading your case...he'll come around eventually.

, , , mama to Ross , Reagan (8/29/05), Joshua (from Haiti...here NOW due to the earthquake!), and Elijah , born safely 9-8-09.
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