I love my husband very much and am attracted to him. I just feel like my body is devoted to my nursling. It's especially apparent if we do try to make love and my husband plays with my breasts. I don't like to look down my chest and see him sucking my nipples or playing with them - I feel like that is my son's domain and it seems weird and gross. Am I the only person who has these issues? I feel like it is abnormal but I'm hoping someone can help me make sense of what's going on.
It's not fun, but it's not forever either. My best compromise has been to consent to intercourse a couple of times a week but insist on no foreplay when I'm in that "touched out" stage. My dh finds this very depressing, but less depressing than no sex at all. I also think it's better than no sex at all - it not superfun the way it usually is, but it doesn't hurt and it mitigates my guilt and keeps my girl parts in working order. And I'm pretty sure it keeps us from getting emotionally distant during this phase.
Of course, some women can't have intercourse without being uncomfortable unless they are very turned on - in which case you have a harder problem to solve. But in any case, it IS normal to feel this way and it DOES pass.
I wish it were different. We are working on it. I think for me, it has alot of how I perceive myself. I think I need to remember that I am more than just ds's mom. I need to again perceive myself as sexy, etc. What do you think? Does that sound the same as you? How about biology? I wonder if there is some biological reason some women feel this way?
Well, anyways, just know you aren't alone.
Christine: Mama to DS 04/17/08 *Infant Stroke Survivor* Always remembering:
Took a 'break' from TTC and look what happened: !!!! for a healthy, full term baby to be born August 2012!! Hoping for a !
When DD1 was nursing I was not particularly interested in sex. Then I got pregnant with DD2 and the milk dried up (though DD1 (3 years old) was still nursing but not getting anything) and my drive returned. After DD2 was born and the milk was back (both DD1 and DD2 were nursing) my sex drive vanished again. I'm sure it'll return again after weaning is completed.
So maybe women are hormonally programmed to not be as interested in sex 'til their baby is old enough to not need the milk that would dry up with pregnancy. Sometimes I think that polygamy makes sense - though I'm much too jealous to actually wish it were so!
Two words: Astro. Glide.
I agree that it must be some evolutionary adaptation, but I also think it's unfair to men to ask them to go years without sex. So I put out, he buys the lube, I get a massage, and I do get to set limits. My boobs don't like fondling while nursing, so I just ask that he stay off the nipples, and I tolerate the rest.
Working Mama to DD (2/14/09) and DS (9/13/12) and wife to DH (7/31/05)
|It's not fun, but it's not forever either. My best compromise has been to consent to intercourse a couple of times a week but insist on no foreplay when I'm in that "touched out" stage. My dh finds this very depressing, but less depressing than no sex at all. I also think it's better than no sex at all - it not superfun the way it usually is, but it doesn't hurt and it mitigates my guilt and keeps my girl parts in working order. And I'm pretty sure it keeps us from getting emotionally distant during this phase.|
But it's still been a struggle for us. Luckily DH has been patient and understanding throughout.
Even with the bra I leak sometimes during sex.
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