|View Poll Results: Where should a woman be allowed to breastfeed in public?|
|Out in the open: it's something to celebrate!||200||85.84%|
|In the open but discreetly covered up.||33||14.16%|
|In a public bathroom or somewhere out of the way.||0||0%|
|They shouldn't be allowed to breastfeed in public at all.||0||0%|
|Voters: 233. You may not vote on this poll|
oh, no, he didn't!
I have no words. I'd probably kick him in his *ahem*.
I've nursed in public more times than I can count. I don't go out much, but I nursed H at the county building when we had to apply for his BC. Nursed out in the open at Six Flags, SeaWorld, the mall, restaurants, etc., and I don't recall getting dirty looks.
I wonder if it's just due to his lack of exposure. Is your area "crunchy"?
Aeona - married to super hot nerd Toby . . . mama to Grace (9) Evangeline (7) Duncan 11.14.08 and Henry (4) born at home. Expecting again early December!
Not only do I believe in my right to breastfeed where/whenever I want, I am personally rather put off when I see women nursing in public bathrooms- that's doing us all a disservice by illustrating to those around you that it SHOULD be a private matter. Not only that, but I sure woudln't want to take my burger to the can to eat it, KWIM?
Student mama to Lyra June ( 10.24.09) and Olive Isis (12.12.11)
Prior to having my son, I was pretty nervous about nursing in public and wasn't sure I'd do it. (Among other things, I have huge boobs, and there's really nothing discreet about my NIP!) But the moment I heard him crying for food in public, all of my personal anxieties and self-consciousness went right out the window.
We nurse on the bus, at the grocery store, at restaurants, at bake sales, in book stores, on park benches... basically wherever we need to. I'm not going to keep my kid (who is too young to understand the concept of "waiting"!) from his food because other people feel uncomfortable with my boobs. (I also always wonder-- wouldn't they feel more uncomfortable with the screaming baby? You can avert your eyes from breastfeeding, but you can't do the same thing with your ears.)
The idea that breastfeeding is somehow offensive or obscene to the American public always boggles me. The average American sees more bare flesh on TV every day. But naked boobs in a non-sexual context are offensive? Uh yeah no, I don't get it!
Mother of two great little guys, G (9/28/09) and W (1/20/12)
NMY, uber-crunchy, college student, doula-in-training, health food store worker and future librarian
However, if it comes up again (especially when you're out somewhere), send him to the bathroom for 20 minutes whenever the baby needs to eat. And then feed the baby wherever you are. Let him see what kind of burden he's placing on you.
I was looking for a gardening magazine at Target and standing in the magazine aisle. I was actually standing next to the wingstack of sports illustrated. This month's cover, as every person could easily see by walking past the aisle, was a scantily clad lady barely covering her bare breasts with her arms/elbows crossed.
Ironically, DD decides she needs to nurse. So there I am standing NEXT TO sports illustrated, nursing DD. And although I fully support NIP of any kind, it did happen to be completely discreet b/c I was wearing my fave nursing shirt.
What do I get but, "You can't do that here! That's disgusting!"
I pointed to the magazine and said, "If that magazine can be here, I can be here."
Anyway, tell your husband that no one has EVER even given me a "bad" look. People have either ignored me or said nice things! To me, this is about family values -- support and acceptance of breastfeeding = support for the health and nurture of our children. It is a wonderful thing and something that many in our culture strongly encourage!
My hubby had a crunchy mom who nursed him til 2.5 years old, so he is wonderfully supportive of NIP. I NIP ds1 and felt more awkward about it at first, just cuz he's my first, but never covered up after the first month when my whole breast had to be out to get him latched (he was tongue-tied). Now, with DS2, I will tell you this: I could give a flying fig about who sees me NIP. I now know that I'm able to nurse without flashing, and if I do it's so brief that it would be VERY rare for anyone to see it. DH loves that I NIP, he loves breasts in general and always tries to get a look when I'm latching DS on. He is always (jokingly) disappointed that despite his best efforts he never can. Your man needs to get over himself; keep on keeping on and I know he'll change his mind.
His best friend's mother insisted that we take the baby to visit her her this weekend. When DS needed to eat, she asked if I wanted to go to a more private room to feed him. I said, "No, I'll stay here if you don't mind." She said she didn't, and DH's best friend jumped up and said to DH, "I have something to show you in the basement." So they went downstairs together and I stayed upstairs nursing the baby and talking to the friend's mom. Afterwards, DH laughed that his friend was so uncomfortable with me breastfeeding in front of him that he had to leave. Good times!
My DH grew up in Japan, and while he has some issues with women wearing skimpy clothing, he is absolutely supportive and almost vehement about my right to nurse our DS in public. I feel very sorry for anyone who ever says anything about it in front of him!
CA has some of the most progressive breastfeeding laws in the US. Fortunately for you, Minnesota does as well! (I live 2 hours away from MN in Michigan where we have zero laws protecting it.) Breastfeeding is not illegal, however, in any state and the vast majority of people will not say a word to you (even if they are uncomfortable). Your partner is right to a certain extent that a lot of people in the US (especially the midwest and south) have a negative perception of breastfeeding and nursing in public... which will never change if women hide the fact that they breastfeed.
My friend's husband had a similar attitude to your partner's, albeit not quite as extreme. She helped him to get over it by insisting that she was going to stay at home with the baby and not go out in public with him if he was going to have issues with her breastfeeding. Another thing that seemed to help was taking him to events with our attachment parenting group so that he could see other women nursing in public and realize that it wasn't at all sexual or obscene.
daughter #2 10/08/10
I voted out in the open, though I personally cover myself up, I'm not a big fan of exposing my breast, well, the nipple and areola area. I'm not offended if others nurse totally open though. It should be celebrated!
Honestly, most people didn't seem to notice when I nursed in public. The few times it made someone uncomfortable they usually excused themselves and returned to me and whatever we were doing when I was done (my father being the only person I can think of who excused himself while I nursed). We were at the zoo one afternoon and my MIL didn't even notice I was nursing until my LO was done.
I'm rather mainstream.
I'm in Iowa and I've found that people here are far more open to breastfeeding in public than other parts of the country. I've breastfed all over Iowa, Illinois and Minnesota without anyone batting an eye. I've only ever had problems in Arizona and Colorado.
That being said, a woman should breastfeed whenever and wherever she feels comfortable. He'll get used to it after he's seen it once or twice and realizes that it's just not that big a deal and that people really just don't care that much on the whole.